Saturday, January 25, 2014

Taking Good Care

Taking Good Care

I've been using a borrowed cpap machine post sleep study while I wait for the results and new prescription best for me. I do not recommend this to anyone. A CPAP is specifically set for each person and using one with a high setting if you don't need a high setting could be very dangerous. The only reason I'm okay with doing this is the pressure setting on the borrowed machine is 7, which is relatively low. It's not the higher level of pressure I need, but it's something. The very dear friend who loaned me the machine has recently lost a considerable amount of weight and lucky for him, he seems to be relieved of the disorder. His machine wasn't in use and hadn't been for some time, so out of desperation I gladly accepted his offer to let me borrow. The first night wasn't good because I wasn't accustomed to this type of continuous positive pressure. After learning what little I did from the sleep technician (about the absence of central apnea episodes) there wasn't anyway I was strapping the bipap to my head again. Not wanting to go without something to encourage breathing, I'm using this machine until I get my own with the custom settings.  My rest has improved each night as I adjust to a different kind of air pressure flowing through the tube. I even made it through an entire work day without needing to take an extended nap break! It isn't perfect, I'm still tired but I'm not body breaking down exhausted, and that's a very nice improvement.

Taking good care takes constant effort and awareness. It also takes reaching out to people for support. It's a powerful thing, the role support plays in this journey. At some point I think I resigned myself to the belief that it was just too hard to care anymore, given the circumstances. But honestly, that's baloney, and further--it's a very counterproductive attitude and perspective to adopt.

With support coming in from all sides of the social media universe and the tremendous support from close friends far and near, I've successfully made it two weeks without a binge. I've drawn on my own spirituality many times during this period and that's having a giant impact too. I'm also not giving in or sacrificing what I need and what's best for me in order to be more available or pleasing to anyone else. That last sentence is a biggie because my very nature is to be a people-pleaser, at all costs. And what happens when I sacrifice what's best for me today, right now--in this, no matter how small, the start of an unraveling of sorts. This focus or "obsession" as I've heard it called, is paramount to my success at this juncture. My health and well being is at stake and I'm getting all sorts of "obsessed" about taking care of me.

When it comes to what I'm eating, I'm a little more selective than when I started losing weight over 5 years ago.  I find myself naturally staying away from simple sugars and eating more fruits. I'm eating more protein most of the time, at least according to the nutrition breakdown on My Fitness Pal. I'm a creature of habit too. My breakfast is most always the same and I have other staples I rely on throughout each day and evening. I'm fairly careful with my calorie investments because when the 1700 in the bank is depleted, I'm done.

There is a mountain of research information about nutrition and so much I don't know or haven't taken the time to understand.  After all I've learned along this road, I'm still very much in the "lower calories-more movement" equals weight loss. And I'm there despite the fact that perhaps with a few tweaks here and there, I could fine tune and manipulate how my body burns fat; how the metabolism operates. I'm still learning and most importantly, my mind is open to learning. Although I'm very careful not to take too much in at once or else I'll get overwhelmed and that could lead to frustration and feelings of inadequacy...neither good for me at this point.

My first official weigh-in will be February 11th at my doctors visit.  I have a complete fasting blood lab scheduled for the 7th and the follow up appointment is the 11th. I'm fine with this lengthy time between weigh-ins. I've talked about and written extensively about the psychological power the scale seems to wield, especially when weight isn't coming off as quickly as we had hoped. It's also powerful when it does and when a big loss is recorded it sets the expectation bar really high and when results slow, it can be very disappointing.  So a relaxed weighing schedule is okay for me, perhaps monthly. Yeah..once a month at my doctors office, same scale...I can do that easily.

I've recently strapped on my "I'm Choosing Change" leather bracelet and I'm wearing it proudly. I hadn't sold one in so long, I think my manufacturer/supplier had given up on me. Then, out of the blue I received an order from Mona. I immediately sent Mona a message explaining I was out of stock and it might be a few weeks for me to have more of these custom made bracelets produced.  She was fine with this, so I called the supplier. The minimum I can have produced at one time is 20.  So I ordered the minimum. Yesterday I decided to offer up these 19 additional bracelets on facebook and the response was phenomenal. If you were one of the people ordering, thank you! Within hours the 19 were sold out. Then I received a few more orders. I will ship the first 20 orders and have an additional 20 manufactured next week. If you haven't bought yours, maybe now's the time! Once again, I'll have a surplus of 17!

I'm not a very good salesman, I'll admit. I never "push" anything really. This blog isn't a platform for sales, never has been. But I would like to move these additional bracelets.

If you would like to order one, simply click this link scroll to the bottom of the page and you'll see pictures of this fantastic bracelet! The $18.00 price includes shipping anywhere in the world.  The international rates are a little pricey, but that's okay--I'd love you to have one regardless of where you are. The "add to cart" button takes you to a secure PayPal site for your purchase.

Thank you for reading and your support.  I sincerely appreciate every single well wish and prayer. I'm doing my best to read as many blogs and postings of others and offering my support as I can. I'm also loving the tight support offered in My Fitness Pal. My social media network includes Facebook, Twitter, this blog of course and My Fitness Pal. You can also reach me by email anytime.

My best always,


  1. Thanks for sharing this harder part. Most of us are with you -- we have lost and gained weight, and wonder if we will ever find the magic again. You are helping us remember that the magic has always been inside us, and that we can find it and use it again and always. Thank you.

  2. Hi Sean, So glad to hear your getting help with your breathing apparatus aka CPAP machine, that is so important and sleep issues affect all aspects of our life along with our metabolism. I agree too about making your health a priority and not trying to please everyone all the time. That's a tough one for me also, being a Mom and now a Grandma I just want to be everything to everyone and I did that for years as a single Mom working 2 jobs. I lost sight of my own health in the mix and piled on the pounds. But now the kids are grown and I get to spoil Grandbabies so now it's "my time". It was hard getting used to the idea and learning to put my own health as number one priority but I'm trying. I am finally losing the weight and it is awesome. I've lost 12 lbs since in 6 weeks, I know there will be plateaus along the way but I'm in it for the long haul now and not giving up. So happy for you that you are doing so well. Hang in there!


  3. Hopefully, you'll get your correct breathing machine soon and be on your way to feeling much better during the day. Thank you for posting more often. I have missed your blog. :)

  4. I have tears of comfort reading your post. I am struggling with lack of scale movement even though the calories in vs calories out are right. I am one not to get to hun up in all the other jazz. But I do expect to see a loss and atm. Its not happening. I have been so sad about it.. and really its one measure of my success. Thank you for reminding me of that.


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