Yesterday's Gone and Wonderful Times Ahead!
Waking up this morning and realizing that yesterday was over felt wonderful. I survived a tough day without resorting to my old ways that are so far gone, and yet sometimes feel just below the surface. I asked for a half day of vacation time this afternoon so I could catch up on personal business. I was feeling fantastic, and then boom! I made a critical programming mistake. A mistake that just happened to be noticed and brought to my attention by the owner of the company. Not good. I spent a majority of the day thinking about that mistake and deciding that I couldn't change it, but I can make sure it's not repeated. I still feel like consequences are looming on the horizon. This disturbance today in my improved mood didn't effect my resolve and commitment to this journey one bit. I think feeling extremely vulnerable yesterday made me stronger today.
I spent some time with Cathy Cole at the “Lose To Win” headquarters today. I was helping plan the awards ceremony for Thursday. She will not budge on the results! We'll all find out together on Thursday evening. It's better that way anyhow. The ceremony is going to be a fantastic event! I can't believe how many people stuck with it and continue to stay on track. The message has really sunk in good. We're surrounded in these parts by people that are making life changing decisions to not give up and see it through all the way to a completely different way of living. If you're within driving distance of the awards ceremony, you should come! Come and experience a room full of people who are determined to make it all the way! It's contagious I tell ya!
Tonight we held Amber's welcome home cookout as promised! I'm so happy to have her home for the summer. I'm even happier to report that everyone enjoyed a reasonable meal without going overboard. I kept my cookout food at under 500 calories. I had a hamburger with bun, mustard, onion, and a little ketchup. I also enjoyed a hot dog minus the bun, dipping it in mustard! Oh, and a half a serving of Doritos too. It was a wonderful visit with family. I can remember encountering similar occasions during past weight loss attempts with a complete acceptance that I would fail. I would think to myself, How can I possibly stay on track with all the wonderful food? I would decide to fail before the event even started. It's the same thought process that kept me from starting so many times. I'd take one look at the calendar and decide that I couldn't possibly stay on track during the holidays or during special occasions and family get togethers because I was suppose to eat a bunch during these times. Isn't that crazy? But I'm sure I'm not the only one that has done this before. It's common I'm sure. Defeating myself before I even start, that's a problem I no longer have and that feels amazing! It's all about getting rid of every excuse that tries to prevent our changes. 240 days ago I decided that the excuses must be rendered powerless in order for me to succeed. They are powerless and I'm succeeding rather well.
Tomorrow's weigh day has the potential to put me into the 330's. That number looks so small! I'll be ready for whatever the scale shows me. I can't wait! It will not be long before I'm at the 200 pounds lost mark, then below 300 for the first time since I was 15, then, well, then we'll see what feels right. I honestly don't know where I'll end up. I may feel great at 250 or maybe 220. In the beginning I just picked 230 because it sounded good. But who knows? The end of the losing will not be determined by a number, rather a feeling. How will weight training effect my weight and appearance? How much weight will I lose when the full body tuck removes excess skin? These are questions I'm excited about answering someday. In the meantime I'll continue my journey with a confident stride. Thanks for reading. Good night and...