Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Day 246 New Exercise Options and I Guess It Can Be Too Late

Day 246

New Exercise Options and I Guess It Can Be Too Late

This is going to be a great summer for losing weight! Yesterday I was giving myself a hard time about my exercise of late, and today I realized that I needed to stop being so down on myself. I've come a very long way in a relatively short time. I can move, breathe, and live like never before now. So what do I have to be down about? Nothing. Weight training? OK, maybe I can be down on myself about that. I haven't given my best effort, and I admit 100% responsibility for that. Do I want it? Yes. Will I do it? Yes. I want an upper body like Superman! I do! And I know that it's going to take some work, a lot of work. But so has losing 164 pounds so far. I say this is going to be a great summer for losing weight because now that I'm much smaller, it opens up so many more exercise options that I can enjoy. I really want to get a bike soon. Not like a professional 10 speed type thing, but an old fashioned cruiser type bicycle, like the kind Mr. Brady would ride on the “Brady Bunch.” Yes indeed, I have very “Brady” visions of my entire family riding around town on our bikes. I could easily ride one at this weight and below! One of Irene's benefits at her job is a $5.00 per month family membership to an indoor recreation center with pool about twenty minutes from our house. We recently discovered this perk, and we plan on taking full advantage of it this summer. We also have a couple of friends who have given us open invitation to swim at their backyard pools anytime we want all summer long. So swimming will be a big part of the plan. Another big part? Competitive racquetball and basketball! This afternoon I finally ducked into the court with my boss. Now I'll tell you, I can get a workout inside that court solo, just playing against the wall, but oh boy, nothing like playing someone for real. I had one of the best racquetball court workouts ever this afternoon. The first thing I asked the boss was “How do you play?” He gave me a “you can't be serious” look, and then he quickly realized I was. He explained the simple rules and we started our games after a few practice serves and returns. We were playing the best two out of three, and ended up only playing two. I don't remember, I may have scored a point or two the first game, maybe not. But the second? I scored eight or nine points! I was hustling in there for sure. I could tell the boss was surprised at how well I could move. He's witnessed me at my very biggest. He's listened to me gasp for breath when answering the phone because I had to walk a few steps down the hall. He's called me into his office before out of concern for my health, so no doubt today showed him a completely different Sean. And I think he knows that with a little practice, I just might be able to beat him someday soon! Yeah, that's right! So just like my boxing record, the racquetball record is 0 and 2. That's alright my friend, you just wait and see, hide and watch, I'm coming for ya!

Several times during the last 246 days I may have mentioned that “it's never too late” to get started. I was wrong. A friend of mine just informed me today that his brother-in-law passed away. The primary cause of his decline: morbid obesity. At over 400 pounds, his brother in law just wasn't built to handle the strain. I don't know all the details, but it sounds like most of the possible complications and horrible effects of prolonged morbid obesity finally caught up with him. When the brother-in-law told the doctor last week to let him die, it was too late. Morbid obesity had claimed another victim. Of course my reaction was “can't they put him on a medically supervised fast?” Too late, the damage to the heart and other vital organs was irreparable, his fate was decided no matter what they did. It's a very sad story and a dark warning to anyone that is struggling with morbid obesity. There will come a time when it's too late to have that “someday.” I said “Oh, I'll do it someday” for so long. I'm very lucky that I didn't run out of time. But everyone's fuse is different. I'm very fortunate and I thank God that I didn't take it to the point of no return. I guess the correct thing to say from now on is “it's almost never too late.”

As you read this blog and you begin to understand how my journey has developed day to day, I hope you understand that as easy as I make it sound sometimes, it has been a challenge. For years I weighed in excess of 500 pounds and I was at a very scary place in my mind. I honestly didn't know if I could ever lose the weight. I think my wife started to believe I would never lose the weight, and she's always believed in me, so that's an example of how exhausted she was at wishing and hoping. I was way too busy pretending that I had all the time in the world, rationalizing bad choices at every turn, because “Oh, I have time.” It's way too easy to just not do this. But I've discovered that if you keep it very simple, calories and exercise, and you decide to become 100% honest with yourself about your behaviors with food, then it becomes just as easy to do this. You have to decide. That's it. Just decide to live.

Wow, OK, for someone that's not a big fan of dramatic tones, the last two paragraphs were pretty dramatic. But sometimes you have to get dramatic about things. Because one of the problems that kept me big for so long was not taking it as seriously as I needed. I was Mr. Funny, Mr. Happy-Go-Lucky, Mr. Let's Don't Talk About My Little Weight Problem...and now I know: If you don't take the time to get dramatic with yourself about this journey, then it will eventually get dramatic for you.

I hope you have a wonderful Tuesday! Thanks for reading my daily blog. I sincerely appreciate your comments along the way. Good night and...

Good Choices,


  1. You know, yesterday Neal was making the last of the "bucket" of cookie dough I bought like several months ago. It is very hard to be honest with yourself when someone is bringing you fresh baked, right out of the oven, double chocolate chip cookies. I had one, then he brought me another. They were rather small in size, so I took the second one, then I left the room and came to my bedroom. Minutes later, he followed me with yet another. I had to say, "No, thank you." He asked if I didn't like them and I said that I liked them very much but I really didn't need another one. He then asked if I was sure, because they were really good. I said "Yes, I know, but I don't need another one, really." He hesitated for a moment before giving it to my eagerly awaiting niece that was more than happy to take the cookie off the spatula (yes, it was that fresh.) 100% honesty is very difficult when you live amongst thieves. When I say thieves, I mean people that don't mind robbing themselves of precious time in life. Ones that don't care to live a better quality of life, a healthier life; one where you feel good about getting out of bed everyday; you are excited about going for a walk or being able to jog up the stairs and not be out of breath. I am so happy that you are driving that message home with me in your blogs. Because if you weren't, I don't think I would be able to hang in there some days. Thanks!

  2. Your wife here...I love you Sean with all my heart. We need a new keyboard!! That is a very sad story, it's too bad all stories don't have a happy ending. So glad, proud, and thankful that you got busy when you did. I hate to admit it, but I was beginning to think that it would take a big scare, bigger of a scare than any doctor telling you that you didnt have long. Something so devestating that you would be forced to believe it and get busy. I'm so thankful that it didnt come to that!!! So very proud of you for making the decision on your own without a horrible intervention!!! Love you buddy xoxoxoxo


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