Showing posts with label commitment. Show all posts
Showing posts with label commitment. Show all posts

Wednesday, November 5, 2014

November 5th, 2014 Weigh Day Edition

November 5th, 2014 Weigh Day Edition

I honestly didn't know what to expect today. I know my food has been and continues to be on plan and consistent, so that was working in my favor. My uncertainty was in the exercise department. Up until this three week period, I would allow one rest day per week. The past three weeks it's been more. Perhaps I'm being a little hard on myself, after all--some of the busy days where I didn't do an intentional workout, I was up, out and about--moving and exercising naturally. And that obviously counts. I was very pleased to step on my doctor's office scale today and find this number staring back at me:
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This represents another 8 pounds down over the last three weeks. I crossed over the 100 pounds barrier, too, bringing my 28 week total to 105 pounds. I'm now only 59 pounds from being back at what I once considered my healthiest weight. I don't know if it will be my healthiest weight this time. I'm starting to do strength training and this could affect what my healthiest weight will be someday. It doesn't matter to me. To be fit at a healthy weight, that's my goal--whatever that turns out to be, who knows?

My good friend, Jon Ludtke in Wisconsin, shared with me a fabulous perspective. He said, "We're spending a short amount of time getting to a healthy weight as compared to the years we hope to stay at a healthy weight." This perspective reminds me to not get impatient and to just take the best care possible with my food, exercise and abstinence from sugar, one day at a time--and allow time to do its thing. It reminds me the most important and truest test will be maintaining, not getting to a certain number. There isn't a "finish line." I'm not doing what I do each day as a temporary means to an end. I'm training to make taking extraordinary care a way of life, the rest of my life.

I fully expect a slow down or dare I say a "plateau" one of these weigh days. When that time comes, I'll need to lean on support to handle it mentally and make some adjustments to handle it physically.

I must tell you, doing this--for me, requires a lot of commitment. If I wasn't fully committed to logging everything in MyFitnessPal and Tweeting everything I eat, everyday--as I have for the past 28 weeks--I likely wouldn't be experiencing this success right now. If I didn't make reaching out for support important and maintaining this blog on a daily basis a personal requirement, I cannot say I would still be going strong. If I somehow started believing I was invincible and had it all figured out-- I would once again be humbled, and quickly, with a monumental fall. 

I interviewed Charlie Daniels on my show Monday morning. I asked him if he ever gets tired of playing his biggest hits (I know--very softball question) and his reply was wonderful. He said, "I don't get tired of them because I've never once played them perfect. It's a challenge each night and each night I try to play it better than the night before."  

Echoing this living legend's philosophy and practice: I'm not perfect along this road and I wouldn't ever want to be. That would be boring, unrealistic and I would tire easily along the way. Each day is a challenge and my goal is to try my best to do better than the day before. I'll not hit it some days and that's okay, as long as I never give up. I must always keep an open mind, allowing myself to learn and grow as I go. This approach brings me a level of peace and happiness I didn't have before.  

My Tweets today:




















Thank you for reading and your continued support,
Strength,
Sean
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Wednesday, September 3, 2014

September 3rd, 2014 It's Not Easy-Weigh Day Edition

September 3rd, 2014 It's Not Easy-Weigh Day Edition

Today's weigh-in was honestly the first time I've approached the scale with a true sense of, whatever it says, I'm good! I realized this on the way to the doctors office. I was stuck at a red light pondering what was about to happen and then it hit me: It is simply a statistic. It's information I can use to make adjustments, if needed. As I've said before, my identity and self-worth isn't tethered to the number on a scale. My self-worth doesn't increase with weight loss and it doesn't decline with weight gain. I am a good human being, regardless. I love me, regardless.

Do I want to get in the best shape of my life? Yes, indeed. Will it make me feel better? Physically, sure. Mentally and emotionally? I seriously doubt there's any improving on how I feel about me in this moment. And it certainly isn't dependent on the scale. I've never felt more whole in my entire life. On the surface, the previous sentence sounds good, sure--but if you've read about how dark things became not too long ago, the "informed perspective" reveals nothing short of a miracle turn-around. I'm grateful. I'm blessed. I'm so happy.

I stepped on the scale today and found:
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A nine pound loss since my last weigh-in three weeks ago! This brings my nineteen week total to seventy-eight pounds gone! After a big 164 pound regain of my initial 275 pound loss, to now be only 86 pounds away from my previous low and what I believe to be my healthiest weight, is--it just is...so wonderful, I can't even find the words to express how wonderful.

I need to preface the following with this: I've studied and learned many valuable things along this road. Don Miguel Ruiz's book "The Four Agreements" taught me never to take anything personal. What others say or do in my direction, good or bad--isn't a reflection of me, it's a reflection of them. In other words, don't take criticism too hard and don't get wrapped up in praise from others. Staying grounded and balanced requires an inner peace and love, that when truly embraced, cannot be affected by the opinions of others one way or the other.

Okay, with that written, I was slightly irritated with a few well meaning comments after my weigh-in today. Two of these came in person from people I see on a regular basis. I'm okay. They're okay. It's all good. But I wanted to clarify a BIG misconception. The comments, each a variation of the same thing, said: "Losing weight is easy for you!"

Are you talking to me? It's easy? Really??? After the first one, I smiled and offered: "Thank you, but I must say, it isn't ever easy. It's a lot of work, a big commitment." I didn't respond to the other two because I was too busy intentionally breathing for calm and perspective. I know these comments came with the best of intentions and happiness for me and my successful turnaround, there wasn't any ill will or intent. But some things to remember:

It isn't easy to take pictures of everything I eat, log each item in MyFitnessPal, then describe the picture complete with calorie count in a 140 characters or less Tweet. Try doing it for a week. I've done it for almost five months straight.

It isn't easy to maintain my abstinence from sugar in a world where sugar is everywhere, even in places we wouldn't expect to find sugar--it's there. And it's a drug to me. It's a drug I can no longer deny my addiction to or the bio-chemical effects it has on me.

It isn't easy to commit anywhere from an hour to two and a half hours a night of writing in order to maintain this blog. I do it because it's therapeutic. I do it because it brings me joy. I do it because it gives me clarity and perspective. I do it because it's an important part of who I am. I also do it because I've discovered how it can help others along this road. But mainly, I do it for me. Still, it's hard work. It's important work to me and the support it attracts plays a huge role in my success, but it isn't easy. I'm profoundly grateful for what this blog provides me each and every day. It's nothing short of a blessing to me in many ways.

It isn't easy to plan, prepare and pack my food each day.

It isn't always easy to navigate menus at restaurants.

It isn't easy to push myself toward a good workout six days a week (some workouts are better than others, of course!).

It isn't easy to maintain the consistency I've enjoyed because life still happens. Stress is all around me--job stress, financial stress--general life stress, emotions...it's all there, and always will be, it's life for goodness sake! And through it all, I'm maintaining an importance level, perspective and a high degree of accountability that helps me maintain a balanced level of consistency. Again, this isn't easy to do day in and day out.

It isn't always easy to make these things enjoyable and truly fun, but it's important for me to find the joy in what I do, because if this is something I'm not enjoying, there's no way to maintain it for the rest of my life--and that of course is a big hope and prayer of mine. I make sure to have fun and genuinely enjoy what I'm doing, what I'm eating and what I'm experiencing throughout this process. If it's something I don't enjoy or can't stand, I'm not doing it...not even a little bit, never mind forever.

Perhaps I make it look easy. Maybe so. Trust me, it's not easy for me to lose weight. It takes a monumental effort each and every day, one day at a time. You know what is easy for me?

Despite appearing very difficult, it was easy to be a 500 pound man for nearly twenty years. It took hardly any effort at all to maintain my 500 pounds of life sucking weight. It was easy!!! I never exercised and I basically ate whatever I wanted, as much as I wanted, whenever I wanted. If I was sad, hurting or angry--food seemed to be my "easy fix." Of course we now know that additional food doesn't "fix" anything, unless it's an effort to maintain a 500 pound body. It fixes that real well, at least for me--totally easy!!

It was shockingly easy for me to gain back 164 pounds. I mean, it was a breeze! Had I not worked hard at grabbing the reigns of this runaway coach, I'd likely be back at 500 pounds by now--because it was so easy! 
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This isn't the "serious face" (trying hard not to smile) of someone who loses weight easily. This is the serious and determined face of someone who is working hard everyday to be consistent and to maintain integrity in my resolve and mission. It's the serious face of someone who is very passionate about this journey and all of its many incredibly fascinating facets. It's the seriously determined face of someone who wants to share and help others, simply by doing what I'm doing. It's the determined face of someone who can be as serious as needed in the moment, but still enjoy the humor in it all, along the way. This is the face of someone who doesn't give up, ever. This isn't the face of "easy."

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I enjoyed a great food day today--oh my--look at the below tweets! Yummy! I made it home mid-afternoon and enjoyed a very restful 1.5 hour nap before jumping up and making it into the YMCA for the 5:30pm spin class. I followed that very challenging 45 minute workout with a nice swim in the Y lap pool.

I decided to order Hawaiian Fajitas for dinner. My favorite little Mexican restaurant sits three blocks from the YMCA, so it was very convenient to place a take out order. Usually I would dine inside, but tonight I wanted to do something different. I ordered them to go, so I could take the ingredients home and precisely weigh each ingredient in an effort to get the most accurate calorie count possible. I even asked the restaurant how much oil they use in preparing an order--and I included that in the count. I order them special every time--and what I accept and don't accept varies depending on a few factors, namely the amount of calories left in my calorie bank for the day. Tonight I declined: Chips, guacamole, beans and rice.

I measured out the steak, chicken, shrimp and pineapple--found the precise counts in MFP, then mixed them all back together and poured them into a big bowl of lettuce for what I'll call "Hawaiian fajita salad." Yes, I'm calling this a salad--complete with a simple homemade dressing made from salsa blended with a serving of light sour cream.

I'm very happy to be where I am along this road. I feel incredibly blessed and tremendously grateful.

If you're interested in taking part in the 10-week teleconference weight loss support group facilitated and moderated by Life Coach Gerri Helms and me, then click this link to register and pay the fee via a secure PayPal checkout page (You do not need a PayPal account to register and pay, you can simply pay with your card): lifecoachgerri.com/events/bootcamp Unfortunately, this option is currently only available in the U.S. and Canada.  

My Tweets today:














Thank you for reading and your amazing support,
Strength,
Sean
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Friday, July 25, 2014

July 25th, 2014 What I Like and Nothing I Don't

July 25th, 2014 What I Like and Nothing I Don't

Today's schedule, affected by yesterday's, wasn't easy to navigate. Any day that starts with me sleeping in the car outside our downtown studios, in order for a colleague to wake me prior to my show, isn't ideal to say the least. I know myself well enough to know that had I tried to go to bed for a couple of hours I would have missed my show on a crucial day. Despite the choices made, I pulled it together in making follow up choices. I negotiated a schedule change with Gayle from our sister station, giving her the early location broadcasts today and allowing me to go home and sleep a couple hours before returning for a full slate of broadcasts this afternoon.

I exercised the three P's before heading to the studio at 4am. I planned, prepared and packed a good breakfast for later in the morning. I did the same thing for lunch, post nap, before returning to work. I was eating my lunch when I realized it didn't taste good to me. The dry Joseph's pita making my turkey "sandwich" a sandwich, just wasn't appealing. Perhaps I've spoiled myself with the toasty goodness of "dry grilling" the pitas on the George Foreman grill. Dry grilling doesn't add any calories, yet it totally changes the flavor and texture. The pita becomes thinner, toasted and the ingredients inside become nice and hot! I was in a hurry while packing my lunch, so I didn't take the time to do anything other than throw it together straight from the package. I ended up eating half before having the realization, why am I eating something I suddenly don't care to eat?

Just because I'm eating better than I have my entire life, it doesn't mean I'm eating things I don't naturally enjoy. If you scroll through my Twitter feed, you'll see--I eat what I like and nothing I don't. For me, this is a very important element of success. I've made some adjustments (no sugar), so I do not eat anything and everything like a previous, less evolved version of me, but the "what I like and nothing I don't" philosophy and practice is still a solid part of my approach.

I haven't had much time this week to cruise through blogland, reading, commenting and supporting as much as I prefer, but this crazy schedule is coming to end this weekend. I'm looking forward to a less busy week ahead. Reading, commenting and taking a genuine interest in my fellow bloggers is very important to me. When a good blogging friend is absent from new postings for a while, I wonder and worry about the possible reasons behind their hiatus. Then, I think--I wonder if some had the same concerned thoughts about me over the course of my journey? 

The commitment I've made to blog daily is one I felt was critically important for my recovery and continued success.  It's an accountability thing for me. It's also a pleasure thing for me, something that brings me not only clarity in my trek, but extreme joy in the process. When I started getting away from daily postings in August 2010, three and a half months shy of hitting my predetermined goal of 230 pounds, I was trading one of my greatest joys for the distractions of everything else. I'm happy to say that this is my 92nd consecutive entry in this daily diary, even happier to say it's made a monumental difference in my life. I must pause and thank Life Coach Gerri Helms and my private therapist for inspiring and convincing me to return to daily writing. It's interesting to note that both presented different, yet equally powerful reasons why it was a good idea. Gerri was focused more on the consistent accountability and support it creates, while my therapist supported a return to the joy, pleasure and clarity I experience in writing. Combining the two made perfect sense, so I made it one of my top priorities.

My last location "Crazy Days" broadcast wrapped at six pm this evening. I was exhausted. The nearly two hour mid-morning nap had long since worn off and I found myself displaying the obvious outward signs of extreme tiredness. The station sales rep responsible for the last broadcast even inquired if I "was okay to drive home." Not being a drinker, I'm not normally on the receiving end of that question. I'm always the one asking that question. It was a clear indicator that more rest was an immediate choice needed, despite it being late in the day. I set an alarm for 9pm and dropped in bed at 7pm for what I thought could very well be a much needed all night sleep. I was okay with that happening, if it did. It would have meant falling drastically short on my calories, not working out and missing my nightly blog post--but it would have been okay, and I would have written this update in the morning and exercised and ate well tomorrow.

Instead, much to my surprise, I did wake to the alarm and felt much better. I prepared a late dinner and hit the trail even later for a good walk. I planned on a 5K walk but didn't quite make it a full 5K. Instead I headed for the car a lap short after 2.5 miles. It was good exercise. I was just as happy with 2.5 miles. Mainly, I didn't like being out at the dark trail so incredibly late. Not that I'm scared for my safety or anything, after all, I'm a big tough man, of course! Well, kind of, a little tough...okay, I'm at least a big man! You know how the imagination can get carried away when it's late, dark and quiet? Suddenly every person and every vehicle becomes a "suspect." :)

My meal Tweets today:










Thank you for reading and for your continued support,
Strength,
Sean
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