Showing posts with label exercise. Show all posts
Showing posts with label exercise. Show all posts

Wednesday, November 5, 2014

November 5th, 2014 Weigh Day Edition

November 5th, 2014 Weigh Day Edition

I honestly didn't know what to expect today. I know my food has been and continues to be on plan and consistent, so that was working in my favor. My uncertainty was in the exercise department. Up until this three week period, I would allow one rest day per week. The past three weeks it's been more. Perhaps I'm being a little hard on myself, after all--some of the busy days where I didn't do an intentional workout, I was up, out and about--moving and exercising naturally. And that obviously counts. I was very pleased to step on my doctor's office scale today and find this number staring back at me:
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This represents another 8 pounds down over the last three weeks. I crossed over the 100 pounds barrier, too, bringing my 28 week total to 105 pounds. I'm now only 59 pounds from being back at what I once considered my healthiest weight. I don't know if it will be my healthiest weight this time. I'm starting to do strength training and this could affect what my healthiest weight will be someday. It doesn't matter to me. To be fit at a healthy weight, that's my goal--whatever that turns out to be, who knows?

My good friend, Jon Ludtke in Wisconsin, shared with me a fabulous perspective. He said, "We're spending a short amount of time getting to a healthy weight as compared to the years we hope to stay at a healthy weight." This perspective reminds me to not get impatient and to just take the best care possible with my food, exercise and abstinence from sugar, one day at a time--and allow time to do its thing. It reminds me the most important and truest test will be maintaining, not getting to a certain number. There isn't a "finish line." I'm not doing what I do each day as a temporary means to an end. I'm training to make taking extraordinary care a way of life, the rest of my life.

I fully expect a slow down or dare I say a "plateau" one of these weigh days. When that time comes, I'll need to lean on support to handle it mentally and make some adjustments to handle it physically.

I must tell you, doing this--for me, requires a lot of commitment. If I wasn't fully committed to logging everything in MyFitnessPal and Tweeting everything I eat, everyday--as I have for the past 28 weeks--I likely wouldn't be experiencing this success right now. If I didn't make reaching out for support important and maintaining this blog on a daily basis a personal requirement, I cannot say I would still be going strong. If I somehow started believing I was invincible and had it all figured out-- I would once again be humbled, and quickly, with a monumental fall. 

I interviewed Charlie Daniels on my show Monday morning. I asked him if he ever gets tired of playing his biggest hits (I know--very softball question) and his reply was wonderful. He said, "I don't get tired of them because I've never once played them perfect. It's a challenge each night and each night I try to play it better than the night before."  

Echoing this living legend's philosophy and practice: I'm not perfect along this road and I wouldn't ever want to be. That would be boring, unrealistic and I would tire easily along the way. Each day is a challenge and my goal is to try my best to do better than the day before. I'll not hit it some days and that's okay, as long as I never give up. I must always keep an open mind, allowing myself to learn and grow as I go. This approach brings me a level of peace and happiness I didn't have before.  

My Tweets today:




















Thank you for reading and your continued support,
Strength,
Sean
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Tuesday, October 14, 2014

October 14th, 2014 I Believe In Me

October 14th, 2014 I Believe In Me

I believe in me. What does that mean? To say "I believe in me" means the goals, hopes and dreams we hold are no longer long-shot possibilities, because we truly believe we're capable of achieving each and every one. We can see where we're headed. We can envision a future where we're living out the beautiful consequences of the choices and steps we're taking today. I believe in me.

I believe I can reach my healthiest weight and take extraordinary care with food and exercise long after reaching whatever weight is my healthiest. I believe I can successfully maintain for as long as I am willing to hold important the fundamentals of my recovery.

I believe I can write my second book and I believe it can be my best work. I believe I can successfully transition into a future where I'm a full time writer and speaker. I believe I can write, voice and produce an audio project that offers a unique type of support for anyone along this road, called "Sean's Weight Loss Meditations." <<< That's happening sooner than later and I'm excited about it to no end!

I believe I deserve the wonderful, balanced and healthy relationship I'm experiencing with my sweetheart, Heather. I believe I can learn and grow and not sabotage it simply because it is something good. Too many times I've found a way to self-destruct when something feels right and good, because somewhere deep inside there was a powerful feeling of unworthiness. I believe that nagging notion has been mostly eradicated from me in a profound way. The remnants left behind are easily recognizable and acknowledged as baloney whenever their effects try to influence today.

When the harshness of self-criticism is softened from abusive to a healthy and constructive place and we realize we're not so bad after-all, suddenly we obtain a clearer perspective on reality. We're incredible people, you and I. We're capable of anything and everything we make important. When we believe, the object of our desires becomes a part of us, in faith, hope and small steps, the part of us where this lives, grows...and soon, it just is, us. 

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In broadcasting, a day is never busier than one where your company is hosting a signature annual event. All of the planning, the meetings--everything comes together, culminating in an extra long day--but a good day. That was my day, today.

Ladies Night Out is an annual event our company started ten years ago. It's a night of free wine, free food, shopping and prize giveaways! Of course it's successful! I mean, really--what's not to love? Free-free-free! 

Attendees who never miss this event have witnessed me at my heaviest, my healthiest, somewhere along my regain weight and where I'm found today. The compliments on my appearance this evening were numerous. I took each one with grace and a very simple, "thank you." I remind myself constantly, that I mustn't mistake the pleasure of these compliments as a measure of happiness. My happiness isn't dependent on my weight or appearance. Does it feel wonderful to hear the kind words? Absolutely--and as long as I keep the proper perspective, it's a fantastic part of this road we travel.

Proper perspective confirms my happiness is powerful, real and ready to be experienced whenever I decide, at any weight. Outward appearance is superficial and can be fun, sure. I mean, really--who doesn't love a dramatic "before and after?" The certainty of our continued happiness isn't found out there, it's found in here (points to heart) and here (points to head), not here (points to rear end).

The owner of our broadcasting company bought us all dinner after the event tonight. I resisted the goodies catered for our attendees quite easily. I had plans to grab some Hawaiian Fajita Tacos or something else equally good as soon as I left--but this company paid dinner at the restaurant down the hall from the ballroom housing our event, was a good one.

I left the venue shortly after 9pm and had just enough time to race into the Y, change into my workout clothes and ride the elliptical to a wonderful 30 minute workout on level 11. I closed 'em down tonight. I was very tired and honestly, I didn't feel like working out. I almost decided to go home--write a short post and hit the pillow. That decision wouldn't have been bad or incorrect--but I'm glad I chose the Y, a 30 minute workout--then home. I needed a good workout.

Tomorrow is weigh day! I have every reason to believe it will be a weigh day that tests me in many ways. I haven't had the solid day in and day out certainty of previous three week periods. My food has remained good. But my workouts have been lacking in the last few weeks. I haven't been getting as much water as I need or enough rest and I've eaten out a record number of times lately. Whatever the scale gives me, I'll remember to be grateful and give thanks. I will be ready to adjust my perspective and approach as needed. And I'm sure it will be needed!  

My Tweets today:
















Thank you for reading and your incredible support,
Strength,
Sean
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Sunday, September 14, 2014

September 14th, 2014 Excited and Happy

September 14th, 2014 Excited and Happy

I rested even better last night. It must have been in excess of eight hours. All I know is, it's lasted me all day. I enjoyed some good coffee this morning with sugar free chocolate flavored creamer and a gooey cheese omelet for breakfast. Heather and I decided to hit the trail today for a great workout. She ran five miles and I did a brisk three mile walk with spurts of jogging. I have some kind of pain in the top right hand side of my right foot. I need better shoes for this, I'm convinced. It was a fantastic workout and since Heather was doing five miles, I actually beat her back to the car...by less than five minutes. She was moving pretty quickly.

Heather and I work well together. I'm soaking up things from her all the time. I'm learning from a wonderful teacher. She's very studied on nutrition and fitness, as separate subjects and how they each work together. She's very advanced. I'm not advanced, necessarily, but I'm at the point where I'm interested in learning more.

I'm feeling the differences in my body everyday. My clothes are fitting better, getting loose--and these are clothes I couldn't wear two months ago and now they're about to be retired too!

It's a consistent approach, a steady approach, supported by a variety of tools along this road that's making this trek back to my healthiest weight a successful one. It's different than my initial weight loss in many ways. I'm more grounded, I'm more open to learning, I don't subscribe to the "my way or the highway" type attitude that I may have had a smidgen years ago. I've been humbled--I've been shown the way and shown the error of my ways and I've discovered how to properly and truly love me for me, regardless of anything else. And that one epiphany will be something I discuss, write about and talk about the rest of my life. It's why I seem so incredibly happy these days. You couple these revelations with my abstinence from sugar and you've got what feels like a completely different experience from my initial weight loss. The differences are profound, yet, in many ways--a lot of the emotional/mental dynamics remain identical to the initial trip down this road.

I enjoyed lunch with Heather and her son before departing for Stillwater for an evening with mom. Mom and I dined at Mexico Joe's. We shared the most incredible chicken fajitas in the world. I ordered a couple of taco shells for my plate and I loaded them with chicken, a little sour cream, lettuce and salsa. I counted out 9 chips, separated them from the bowl and enjoyed each one with the freshly prepared salsa.  We had a fantastic conversation too. It was a wonderful night.

I got a call on the way to Stillwater from my oldest daughter. She was calling with some wonderful news! She's now officially engaged to he boyfriend KL! My little girl is getting married! Oh my-- I'm gonna be a big bundle of emotions when that day comes around. They haven't settled on the date just yet, but they've agreed, for sure--it's happening!

I shared the news of Amber's engagement with mom and she was elated. I'm so excited and happy!

My Tweets today:


















Thank you for reading and your continued support,
Strength,
Sean
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Tuesday, September 9, 2014

September 9th, 2014 Checking In With 37 Year Old Me

September 9th, 2014 Checking In With 37 Year Old Me

Sometimes it's good for me to go back into my archives and read a perspective from years ago. I was looking for something written about "Importance Level," when I came across this from August 29th, 2009:

I feel so weird right now. My body feels good, my vision is sharp, my muscles feel relaxed. So this is what it feels like to get a solid nine hours of sleep? Wow, nice. I needed it and I took it. It's Saturday morning already and below you'll find the Friday August 28th edition of this blog---I was too tired to post last night. Just couldn't function properly. I had a voice-mail greet me this morning, I still don't know exactly for sure who it is, all they said was “I'd like to report that my morning edition of the Daily Diary of a Winning Loser is missing, please have someone deliver it soon, thank you!” No problem, I'll call the circulation department right now! OK—In listening to it again for that quote, I figured out who it was. It's good to have friends, huh? I never feel right just going to bed without posting. In 348 days, it's happened less than 10 times. Just couldn't help it last night. Getting rest was the only option. I needed it and I took it. Sometimes you have to force yourself to do what's right for YOU. So, I'll rewind my brain now and do my best at recalling the events, thoughts, emotions, and choices that made up a wonderful Friday, and I'll do it from the perspective of Friday night. That can be tough, because it's sooo Saturday morning right now.

Five years later and I'm dealing with some of the same issues! It is interesting how some things get the highest level of importance with me while other equally important elements do not. And the very thing that allows me to excuse this lack of importance level is continued positive results. I do not get enough sleep and except for the last three days and an occasional fluke day, I've rarely made enough water important. From the same day as the above excerpt:

The importance level we set for things isn't something we just say. It's easy to say, “my weight loss efforts will be of utmost importance from this point forward.” It's ultimately set by our actions, not our words. If you find yourself making excuses and coming up with rationalizations that make bad choices seem alright, then maybe you need to check the importance level. Check it often, because it can deplete without you realizing. How do you check it? With complete honesty, that's your dipstick. Richard Simmons tweeted this today: “There is only one way to lose weight and keep it off. And it's by being truthful with yourself about the food...” 100% self-honesty is crucial to your success. I've written about this many times because it's something that I never did before with past failed attempts. Since day one nearly a year ago, this self-honesty policy has been firmly in place, and you know what kind of results I've had. The self-honesty component is vital to the mental changes required on this road to permanent success. Make this one of the most important things you've ever done. Give it the highest important level. Get completely honest with yourself about the habits you know are holding you back---and then get ready for an almost magically transformation of mind and body. Forget “almost,” it is magical.

Okay then, thank you 37 year old self. 

I made a point today to come home not long after my show to nap for a little while before heading back to the studio for a busy afternoon. I suppose that's making it important, to a degree.

I had a great food day too! I even made sure to enjoy dinner before my 7pm conference call support group. This is positive progress!  The only two things left to do after the call was workout and write this edition. My workout was incredible because I took it to eleven. You wouldn't think the difference between level 10 elliptical and level 11 would be too much. It was a big difference!

My Tweets today:
Thank you for reading and your amazing support,
Strength,
Sean
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Sunday, September 7, 2014

September 7th, 2014 Learning New Things

September 7th, 2014 Learning New Things

I've enjoyed a much needed weekend! I had a wonderful breakfast and lunch followed by an incredible workout today. Heather took me to the trail she frequents for her run. She did her four mile run while I did my brisk three mile walk. She passed me as she headed back. I was on my way to the half way point turnaround. I had the key to the vehicle in my pocket, so I did my best to pick up the pace. I even did some light jogging! Heather finished her run, then ran back another mile to me and helped push me to the finish line. She was straight up coaching me that last mile!! She's really good and once again, it reminded me how I'm capable of giving more out there. I'm learning a lot from her about the physicality and science of exercise, things I've never really studied too closely. I'm at a point now where I'm ready and open to learning new things.

Heather is currently doing the Beach Body Ultimate Reset and she has a very specific nutrition plan she's following. She gave me the option to eat something different, whatever I wanted or what she was having. I decided to give her lunch a try. It reminded me of my recent lunch with Kat L., with all the quinoa, lentil beans and fresh veggies. It was very different from my usual lunch fare, but it was very good. If I could figure out a way to make it into a taco or tostado, I'd like it even more. I'm kidding. Okay, sort of kidding. ;)

I've always seemed to have an issue getting enough water. It really isn't too much of an issue, it's simply a matter of importance, or better--whether or not I make it important. Heather shares the same struggle sometimes. Today, we made sure to get enough. I was already at 8 cups by shortly after my three miles today. I finished with 10 cups straight water, something I rarely accomplish. The water consumption is definitely an enhancement I can make along this road. More water and more sleep. Those two things will make the biggest positive impact for me at this point moving forward.

I bought a FitBit tonight. It's my first! It's charging as I write and I'm hoping to be ready to strap it on before bed. It tracks everything, even my sleep! And it syncs with My Fitness Pal too!

This weekend has been very busy but exceptionally nice. The dinner Friday night with my daughters, Amber and Courtney, their boyfriends and Heather, along with my grandson Noah, was a wonderful experience. Everyone visited and got to know one another a little. It was truly fantastic. My daughters are incredibly loving and supportive. They absolutely love seeing their dad happy, feeling great and taking extraordinary care.

Noah hasn't spent too much time at my place, since I usually go to him, so he was all over this apartment. He walked from one end to the other, exploring!! His momma followed close behind, because this apartment isn't the most toddler friendly place! I'll make it that way if it means he comes to visit more often!

My workouts both Saturday and today were perfect, especially today. Heather offered for me to try her body combat class on Saturday, but I declined for fear that I'm not quite ready for that level of workout! The elliptical Saturday morning was perfect, really. And familiar, since it was the exact elliptical model I use at my local YMCA.

The upcoming work week will be busy. It's county fair week and we're doing location broadcasts every single night Tuesday through Saturday. I'm sharing those broadcast duties with a colleague, so it shouldn't be too much.

Heather and I planned on starting our YouTube channel this weekend, but ran out of time. It's absolutely coming, though--and we have some fantastic ideas already. All in time! I can't wait!

Oh--almost forgot-- I had a very disappointing time trying to find OSU spirit wear to fit on Saturday. All of what I had fit great when I was close or at 230 pounds. Where I am now, not so much. I almost purchased something new on Saturday before the game but I just couldn't justify the expense for something that will be too big for me within weeks. It's nice to know I'll have plenty of spirit wear soon. It's all waiting for my return to a healthier weight! I'm coming!! There was a couple of things I could have worn, but they were too tight for my own comfort. I could have worn them, sure--but I wanted to be comfortable, you know? The need for comfort trumped my need to wear orange Saturday.

My Tweets today:
















Thank you for reading and your fantastic support along this road,
Strength,
Sean
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Thursday, August 21, 2014

August 21st, 2014 Simply Noticing Things

August 21st, 2014 Simply Noticing Things

I've been skipping my morning meditation time too much of late. I did do it this morning and it absolutely made a positive difference. I don't do a specific practice or type of meditation, although I'm sure it has a name. I simply close my eyes and go back to sleep. I'm kidding. I close my eyes, inhale through my nose and exhale through my mouth and I envision how I would like the day to unfold. I also acknowledge and give thanks for the blessings I've received. I try to stay in this positive mental state for at least five minutes, preferably ten. I rarely mention this for a couple of reasons. It's my personal spiritual prayer/meditation time and I keep these things fairly private and also because I'm wildly inconsistent in the practice. I mention it tonight because I did notice a marked difference in the quality of my day because of this five minute practice.

The more I thought about the difference it made, the more I thought about how many times I've resisted doing something consistently that I knew would help me feel better. Exercise is a big one. The positive emotional and mental benefits of exercise are solid and proven. Nobody argues about it--it's fact: When we workout we end up feeling better. Yet, I know I could do more and I'm capable of a more intense workout. Drinking more water is enormously beneficial, but I sometimes struggle to hit the minimum I should be drinking. Water helps everything, the metabolism is just the beginning--it has a positive effect on our entire body on all levels, from digestion to a very deep cellular level and still, I resist, not giving it the importance level it deserves. I don't mention these things as a way to beat up on myself or to be overly critical of what I'm doing, I'm simply noticing things. The quick meditation time today helped. Why wouldn't I do it every single day if it makes this much of a positive impact? 

I had a lunch meeting today that was much shorter than expected. It's a monthly meeting where everyone is encouraged to bring their lunch. I brought mine prepared on a real plate, using a real fork. This gets some looks sometimes. I just enjoy making it special. I'm not opposed to occasionally using paper plates, but when I can, I like to use things I have to wash afterward. I don't know--I guess it adds some kind of extra something to what I'm doing. Or maybe I'm just weird...which I'm okay with that, it's a good thing! ;)

I roasted a turkey breast all afternoon and prepared homemade baked sweet potato fries for a dinner I was eating shortly after 6pm! This is a big deal. I'm the guy who sometimes eats dinner after 9pm, or dare I admit, even later (ouch--truth..) This was one of the things I meditated about this morning. I don't want to continue eating big meals super late for obvious reasons.

I enjoyed a fabulous swim followed by the elliptical--workout this evening. It was solid. Could I do more or something more intense? Yes, honestly--yes. For me, today--it was perfect. The challenge will be to add more intense elements to my workout routine along the way. It's an important consideration because the body adapts and gets accustomed to repetition quickly!  

My food Tweets today:












Good food day!!

In the spirit of Throwback Thursday or as the hip crowd calls it #tbt--I decided to share the YouTube videos of my very first speaking event about this journey. It was February 19th, 2009 (over 5 years ago!!!) in the cafeteria of our local hospital. I was the featured speaker for the kickoff of the "Lose To Win" weight loss challenge program. I was only 5 months into my initial weight loss. I would have to watch it again or dig into this blog's archives to remember how much I had lost by the night of this talk but I'm pretty sure it was somewhere around 120-130 pounds. It was a fun night. It takes some time to watch all four--almost 40 minutes. I watched some. Great memories.








Thank you for reading and watching! Your continued support is cherished,
Strength,
Sean
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Thursday, August 14, 2014

August 14th, 2014 Giving My Taste Buds A Workout

August 14th, 2014 Giving My Taste Buds A Workout

When I say "I eat what I like and nothing I don't," it doesn't mean I'm not willing to try new things. It simply means I don't believe in choking something down that isn't appealing in the name of losing weight. This is why I don't eat salads. However, I've learned throughout the last 6 years to at least give some things a try and when I'm encouraged (I'll rarely do it on my own), I'll usually suspend my natural inclination to reject what isn't familiar and open up. I did that today.

I received an exclusive invite to the private home of this area's most prominent "all natural-whole foods-single source-straight from the garden-meat from the local rancher-clean eating-gourmet" type person for a lunch very different from my usual fare. Her name is Katherine, but everyone calls her Kat for short. I first met Kat and her husband Steve through my connections in our exceptionally strong local community theater scene. Kat is also a regular guest on my radio show as a representative of this area's economic development authority. Kat is passionate about food and nutrition in ways I wouldn't even begin to realize I could or should care about. Her commitment is on the highest level. She knows her stuff. I don't know my stuff too well in this department and honestly, I kind of like it that way. We'll nicely call this an ignorant bliss. But at the same time, I refuse to close my mind to learning new things or trying something different.

I almost declined the invitation, for just a second, simply because I love what I eat and I wasn't sure if I was honestly willing to try anything "too new" or "out there" at this time. Of course, what if I did try something different and ended up discovering another asparagus? There was a time when I wouldn't touch asparagus, not even on a dare. I remember writing about my aversion years ago and drawing encouragement from several, namely fellow weight loss blogger Divad in Canada. She wrote how grilled asparagus was like candy. I like candy. So I tried asparagus--and WOW.  It quickly became my favorite vegetable in the entire world. Could there be other foods I haven't given the time of day that could possibly be as wonderful as asparagus? I'll never know unless I take a bite. Or a few bites. Or an entire lunch.

I arrived at noon and made my way through the gardens surrounding their home. Kat was outside, hidden among the rows of edible foliage as she cut fresh herbs to garnish the expertly prepared dishes. And I thought I took extra time, care and attention in preparing my meals! Kat has me beat.

The table was set upon my arrival and when she pulled back the coverings, I was slightly relieved it wasn't a giant salad. I couldn't have done it--and I think Kat knows me well enough to know this, thank goodness. Still, the dishes were just outside of my comfort zone, challenging me to have an open mind and at least attempt to find something to my liking from the spread of new things.

Kat doesn't necessarily concern herself with calorie counts but for me, she did. Each dish was weighed, measured and counted. It was a very nice, accommodating gesture. I dined on a zucchini noodle pesto and lentil beans with sprouted wild rice topped with sauteed onions, mushrooms and garlic. What does sprouted mean? It isn't cooked--it's soaked until it sprouts to life. Seriously--this food is alive. In the name of trying everything, I also put some of the sweet potato/beet salad with balsamic on my plate--but after one bite my finicky kid-like taste buds deemed it unacceptable and I tossed it in the floor. I'm kidding. I "accidentally" knocked it off the table. Still kidding. Seriously now, I politely informed her "I can't do that." Kat was cool, a cool Kat, if you will. She understood.

We also had a spot of zero calorie herbal hot tea, which made me feel slightly British. I almost insisted we speak with British accents as we dined. It was an elegant touch. Kat finished off this generous offering with a half serving banana shake made with 1/2 a banana, coconut oil, raw-local honey, cinnamon, walnuts and water. It was really good, not too sweet, sugar free--and, yeah--nice. I will definitely be trying the zucchini noodles again, perhaps hot with a fresh tomato and herb sauce. The lentils with sprouted rice was different but not bad at all. Overall, it was a very good experience. Just getting out of my comfort zone was good. A little anxious, but in the end a good experience. Thank you Kat!

I was given VIP tickets for the big Michael McDonald/Toto concert tonight. They were playing 25 minutes away, but the concert had a start time of 8pm--and on a work night, especially with everything else I do--it just didn't seem reasonable for me. But then I started humming their songs throughout the day and by 4pm I decided to get what I needed to get done, then allow myself to enjoy the VIP section at what was sure to be an exceptional concert filled with hit after hit song.

I made my way to the YMCA for a solid elliptical workout on level 8, then I headed down the street from the Y to my favorite little Mexican restaurant. This little place is the home of the Hawaiian Fajitas I'm crazy about. I figured I could get my workout finished and dinner complete before the show--then all I would have left to do later was write and drop in bed.

I tightened my calorie budget for this restaurant trip, opting to skip the chips and salsa. I also turned away the cheese, beans, rice and guacamole--instead focusing my attention on assembling my "special order" entree, with crispy corn shells instead of the typical flour tortillas.

As I enjoyed my dinner, I thought about my desire to get more sleep. The more I thought about it, I realized my best move would be to skip the concert and head home--write the blog and go to bed early for a change. It was a tough decision. I was getting really excited about seeing the concert. I even performed vocal impressions of both McDonald and Toto for the tellers at the bank when they mentioned they hadn't ever heard of them. I assured them they would know the music and after my impressions, they agreed they did. Of course they might have agreed simply to shut me up. By the way, I was the only customer in the bank at the time.

Skipping the concert was a tough call to make, but an important one. Unfortunately, upon my return to my apartment, I found my internet service not working. I waited and waited. I did the trouble shooting. Then I called the customer service line for my provider. I learned they had a fiber line cut and their entire system was 100% out of service. This wasn't what I wanted to hear. It meant I would need to either wait until first thing in the morning to write this blog--assuming it would be fixed by then, or make my way to the studio across town to get this edition on the record. I opted to make the trip to the studio and get it done. I arrived and immediately remembered a work project I forgot to finish earlier today--so the first little while here was spent doing studio duties. My point is, my intentions to get to bed early didn't work out like I planned. Perhaps I should have joined Michael and Toto after all.

My food Tweets (and a few others) from today:

   












I haven't had my bedtime snack #lastfoodofday yet or I would have included it here. Might have a small pear or something else light when I get home.

Thank you for reading and as always, the blog post discussion "after party" is in the comments section of each post. Do you relate to some of the dynamics explored? Have a comment? Have a suggestion? Do you have your own weight loss blog you would like to share with me and everyone else? I'll be sure to reply to your comment. Looking forward to our virtual visit!

Strength,
Sean
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Sunday, August 3, 2014

August 3rd, 2014 My Peace Instead of A Piece

August 3rd, 2014 My Peace Instead of A Piece

I slept so well last night. I slept like a baby for over nine hours straight. I woke up today and felt incredible. I must get more of that kind of rest.  Getting up so late--and not eating my first food of the day until after 1pm, really set my calorie management up for a shortfall later. More on that in a moment.

We had a cookout tonight in celebration of my daughter Amber's first day in her brand new career as a special education teacher for Ponca City Public Schools. The kids don't report until the 12th, new teachers start tomorrow morning!
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Here's my daughter Courtney, grandson Noah, daughter Amber and Me at the party tonight! Noah was getting pretty tired at this point.

My brunch was so big and filling (see Tweet below), I wasn't the slightest bit hungry until it was time to eat at the cookout. It didn't even occur to me to eat something, say--4 or 5pm, even something small. I was too busy preparing for the cookout to think about eating. After calculating my cookout plate of food, I realized I had an issue. I was still over 600 calories short of my minimum target daily goal of 1700 calories. And that's not even thinking about net calories after exercise! I decided I would get at least two miles in at the trail and then I would eat something to bump up the calories, late. Not the best strategy, for sure--considering the time--but as you'll read in the Tweets below-at least my net calories after exercise was over 1200 for a change! I was still 194 calories shy of my target 1700.

I'm not going to stress or beat myself up for the poor calorie management today. Tomorrow is a big, beautiful new day--and I will manage better. Interesting how "calorie management" means getting enough--when it used to mean trying to not get too much! It's very clear my brain isn't centered around constantly obsessing over food. I eat well at appropriate times. This sugar free discipline has given me a peace and calm I never thought I could experience. There was cake at the party tonight and I wasn't the least bit interested. It wasn't a case of "I can't have any," it was a thank you, but (polite, yet matter-of-fact type tone) "I don't eat cake." It didn't take will power because I didn't want cake. Will power is only summoned when we resist something we truly want. This was a different kind of power--not even a "power," really. For me, I had my peace instead of a piece.

Speaking of cakes...

My Aunt Kelli found some more "Lost Before Pictures:"

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Apparently there was a time when I couldn't be too far away from a box of those little snack cakes. I have no idea what I'm doing holding a box of Little Debbie Snack Cakes while posing for a picture in a restaurant. (pictured: Amber, my late Grandmother, My brother Shane, Mom and Me.)

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I have no idea what I'm holding in my hand. It's food of some sort. There's an 80% chance it's a Little Debbie snack cake. ;) (pictured: My mom, Irene, Me)

It was a tough little two miles at the trail tonight. The humidity made it feel like a much harder workout. Two miles felt like much more. My clothes were drenched in workout juice.

My food Tweets and a few others today:










Tomorrow is set to be a monumental day. I'll be doing a spin class followed by a swim in the pool. If this sounds like a normal routine, you're obviously new to this blog. If you are new--welcome!! Dive into the recent archives and you'll understand why me diving into that pool tomorrow will be epic.

Thank you for reading and for your continued incredible support,
Strength,
Sean
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Thursday, July 31, 2014

July 31st, 2014 That's The Truth

July 31st, 2014 That's The Truth

Sharing my challenge on last night's post took me from scared to fairly confident pretty quickly. Thank you for the tremendous support. I wasn't going to share it but I'm glad I did. It's a very real thing--a powerful thing and why wouldn't I share it here? I've received several messages today from wonderful people who felt every single word as if it were their own story, because it is. If you were one of those sending me a message today, thank you. When we relate with one another like that--it feels good, because we realize we're not alone. 

My one time roommate in L.A., who is a very successful comic, never had these issues. And if he did, he never let them stop him from enjoying life to the fullest. When I was roommates with him and his girlfriend (now his wife), he topped around 600 pounds, while I was around 500. (I think he's now around 350! Good for him!) The two of us couldn't have been more different from one another. His decisions were never affected by what will they think of me type thoughts. He once stripped down in front of the entire cast and crew of a show he was on--and jumped into the swimming pool---while the cameras were rolling. He just couldn't care less what anyone thought of him, ever. His weight never stopped his physicality or his opinionated comic perspective and he's reaped wonderful rewards because of this genuineness. I would lay in bed at night in our South Central apartment and dream of having an ounce of his courageous attitude.

He helped me get in the door at the Kimmel show and was astonished when I turned down a decent paycheck when an initial offer came my way for an appearance. I wrote about it in my book. The Kimmel segment producer wanted me to dress as cupid on their Valentines Day show 2003. I turned it down immediately in the name of self-respect--which is a perfectly legitimate decline. Honestly, I needed the money--badly. It's VERY expensive to live in L.A., not to mention I had a young family back in Oklahoma needing my support. And had I not been so hung up with body issues, I would have done it with a smile. That's the truth.

Thank goodness getting in the pool Monday (that's the day I've chosen) will not be nationally televised. It'll be me and whomever else is enjoying the fantastic exercise of a good swim. And despite what my brain says--there will not be anyone saying anything derogatory toward me or about me, if anything--it'll be supportive and encouraging. That's also the truth.

I bought a bathing suit today. I'm taking small steps--actions that support my ultimate goal of getting in the pool. I shared the challenge with you in last night's post and now I've bought swim trunks. Monday will be here before I know it and then the real test happens. I'm looking forward to sharing it on this blog and if you relate to this struggle, maybe we'll both find some semblance of peace through the experience.

I planned on inviting both of my daughters to join me for lunch today at the studio. Courtney was busy taking my grandson to the doctor for an ear infection and then she had to get to work--so it was just Amber and me, visiting--laughing and enjoying our lunch together. One of the big "side effects" of feeling better in every way is enjoying the company of the ones you love on a much deeper level than before, when the preoccupation with feeling like crud took too much head space. If you asked those whom I care about, I'm confident they've noticed the dramatic difference. I'm a much better listener when the noise is turned down.

I turned the resistance up to six on the elliptical tonight and it was like a brand new workout. I was challenged. It's so easy to get in a groove and keep the resistance level the same--but our bodies are smart and adaptable--and our muscles learn quickly how to manage repetitive motions. I gave my body a curve ball tonight and it was incredible.

My meal Tweets and a few others today:












Thank you for reading and for your awesome support,
Strength,
Sean
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Thursday, June 19, 2014

June 19th, 2014 A Day of Minor Struggles

June 19th, 2014 A Day of Minor Struggles

I was prepared today. Preparedness doesn't always prevent struggle. One of my interviews on the show this morning was Mark, an avid fisherman. He was coming in studio to promote the upcoming All-American Fish Fry Blood Drive with the Oklahoma Blood Institute. This will be the 8th year this man has caught, cleaned, prepared and cooked all of the fish for this big annual event. Every year, in advance of the date (usually the week before), he brings fresh fried catfish into the studio for everyone to enjoy. Today was the day.

I love fried fish. I love fish, period. Even though I was fully satisfied with my breakfast, I was having a very tough time resisting the aroma of the fish and chips in the studio lobby.  I tweeted about it, expressing "...I need to get out of here." In years past I've indulged on this day, but not this time. Sending the tweets about the fish gave me strength to walk away. Could I have eaten a piece and simply counted? Sure. But as solid and on plan as I've been lately--coupled with the fact that I had just finished breakfast and wasn't even remotely hungry, I made the right call.  I don't feel bad for Mark, the fisherman, because plenty of others enjoyed the free fish. And he knows how I feel about his fish, it's the best!

I left the studio not long after my show and when I returned after lunch, the crock pot of fish and fries still had several pieces. Yes, I checked. I had just finished a wonderful lunch of baked fish, sweet potatoes and pears. Again, I wasn't hungry, yet I was still compelled to check the crock pot. I didn't eat any. I quickly made my way to the upstairs production studio and dove into my work. After a couple of hours I enjoyed an orange before finishing the work day. I still needed to go downstairs and secure the on-air studios, which meant encountering the crock pot of what was now cold and old catfish and fries.

It still smelled good. I came within an inch of eating it. I went so far as to remove the lid and pick up a few pieces. For a moment I thought, I can just count it, tweet it and eat less for dinner. Oh, I was doing my best to make it okay.  At this point, considering the struggle, there was no way I was giving up. I put the cold fish back in the pot, returned the lid--acknowledged the glistening of oil on my fingers and the smell, then promptly went into the bathroom and washed it away. I walked from the studio feeling empowered.

It showed me that just because I'm 97% sugar free, it doesn't mean I'm completely free from errant thoughts and occasional struggle. This situation was a different kind of trigger. It was the sight and smell. Had the food been a large pizza from Hideaway Pizza in my hometown, I would have experienced the same struggle. Had it been a giant pot of sesame chicken from Chinese Express--same struggle. I haven't had many of these types of struggles in the last couple of months because I haven't been around some of these foods. It was a good thing to experience this today.

After deciding to grill something for dinner, I realized I forgot to take the meat from the freezer. No problem, I'll just go buy a small package at the store and grab a few other things while I'm in there. But when I pulled into the store parking lot I realized how tired I was. It had been a long day. Instead of shopping, then cooking--I decided to give myself a break from the kitchen and grab some Hawaiian Fajitas to go from my favorite little Mexican place. Out of the five or six times I've eaten out in the last few months, these Hawaiian Fajitas account for four times, including tonight. I implemented the same calorie saving strategy as I always do at a Mexican restaurant. Dinner checked in at 556 calories.

I planned to workout after dinner but suddenly I didn't feel like it. Was I just too tired today, physically and mentally? Perhaps. I really like to reserve my "off day" from the workout schedule for the weekends. So I decided to drag myself to the YMCA. I arrived and realized I had left my earbuds at home. I wasn't driving all the way back home and back to the Y again for the music. I decided to go ahead and workout without my music. I made it through the workout, but I'll tell you--listening to people grunt and breathe isn't as much fun as getting wrapped up into Billy Idol. It took some focus to see it through. I'm glad I did.

Today's theme has been struggle, in a few different ways. It may have started with the anonymous comment on yesterday's post that stated: "Your blog seems interesting but I cant get past the ugly layout." It was the epitome of superficial, this comment--and as much as it amused me, it must have bothered me a little too. My blog is as strong as the content and message, not to mention what it's done for me in so many ways and what others have told me it's done for them over the years. I take this blog seriously. I've never taken the time to "dress it up" or even consider a few changes to make it easier to read. Perhaps I do need to make a few changes to it, nothing major--maybe a bigger font or something, different color schemes...a prettier layout.

I'm hitting the pillow much earlier than usual and that's a good thing. And despite the various minor struggles today, I'll hit the pillow knowing that I'm in just under budget, I exercised and I took extraordinary care of me today.

Thank you for reading,
Strength,
Sean
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Sunday, June 15, 2014

June 15th, 2014 A Very Blessed Father's Day

June 15th, 2014 A Very Blessed Father's Day

I started the day with a good cup of coffee and a phone call to my dad. Dad and I don't talk enough, really. It was a good conversation and it ended with both of us vowing to make an effort to see each other again soon. I felt better having called and he expressed how much it meant to him, and that was a good start to my Father's Day.

I'm dog sitting for a friend for the next few days. I requested full access to his large "gourmet" kitchen as part of the deal. My apartment kitchen is small and I do well with what I have, but this bigger kitchen is a lot of fun. If you ever notice different plates and table settings accompanying my food and exercise Twitter feed, you'll know--I'm dog sitting.

I treated myself to a fantastic brunch today.




This proved to be too much food. I left food on the plate and revised the count to 589 calories. It was a hearty He-Man type breakfast for this dad!

I enjoyed dinner out with my oldest last night in celebration of Father's Day weekend. Today was another trip out, this time with both of my wonderful daughters and grandson Noah.

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Noah was in awe of his surroundings and fairly excited! He's playing the drums on the table.

I've been eating out less than once a week on average for the last nearly two months. This weekend it was twice. And I'm okay with it as long as I have a plan and stick to it. And I did.  Last night I wrote about taking my food scale to the restaurant. I forgot to grab it for the trip today. Since I didn't have the luxury of my digital measuring device, I decided to be very detailed in my order. I asked the server how many ounces of chicken breast strips came in a half-order of fajitas, she immediately replied "four and a half ounces." I then expressed how important it was for the kitchen to make sure the serving was accurate. I declined the fresh made flour tortillas and real butter, I did not decline the chips and the chunky mild salsa. I counted out 12 chips and grabbed some of the fresca, and immediately calculated it in MyFitnessPal. I gave my rice and beans to Noah. I used corn tortillas instead of flour (the corn variety is almost half the calories of the flour kind), I gave away the pile of cheese on my "fixings" plate, and kept enough sour cream to smear a small amount onto each before filling with grilled chicken, onions and peppers. I used a little over half the chicken (approx. 3oz). They were easily the best chicken fajitas I've ever enjoyed.

Here's the deal:  My seemingly obsessive calculations aren't as obsessive as one might think. It's not about extreme accuracy for me. It's more about setting personal boundaries for my consumption. Calorie counting isn't an exact practice. It's almost impossible to be precisely exact with a perfect count.  When I set good personal boundaries and I'm as close as I possibly can be with the count, I feel incredible about myself. Had I walked into that restaurant today with a different attitude and without a plan, I could have easily done some damage. And it isn't about physical "damage." We're talking mental/emotional damage. Don't get the wrong idea, I'm not advocating an occasional binge for me--That type of plan wouldn't work for me at all. Had I cut loose today in the name of Father's Day, the mental and emotional damage, not to mention the possible bio-chemical reactions, would have significantly trumped any possible physical damage. Suddenly, I would have been besieged with feelings of guilt and shame as a tidal wave of remorse and regret washed away this wonderful momentum I've created. The subsequent effects would eventually make dramatic contributions to the physical side of things. But that's just me.

Here's the deal part two: I'm eating well and enough to feel extremely satisfied. I'm confident in doing what feels right for me today. I'm taking immense pride in a job well done. I'm not feeling deprived in any way. The contrast between this feeling and the highly familiar feeling of not caring, is night and day. I'm caring about me on a level I've never known. Not even during my initial weight loss was I this considerate and compassionate toward myself. This feels good.

The best part of today wasn't the food. The best part was the family time. Enjoying a meal with both of my daughters, Noah, Mom, Uncle Keith, Aunt Kelli and her husband Tim was wonderful. I rarely have both of my daughters together at the same time. In fact, I'd venture to say we haven't all three shared a meal together in over a year before today. On the way home, as Noah slept and the three of us listened to music and talked, I had a few moments of clarity in reflection followed by extreme gratitude and thanks for being so blessed and so loved by my family. Amber and Courtney didn't know, but dad was getting a little misty at one point during our 42 mile trip home. It was a special day to me; just beautiful.

I got back to my friend's house to let the dogs out and realized I still had slightly over 500 calories remaining in my Calorie Bank and Trust account. This happens frequently on the weekends because I usually end up combining breakfast and lunch into one meal. If my calorie spending isn't up to at least 850 or so by dinner time, I'll likely fall short at the end of the day. It's not a bad issue to have, really. I prepared a late "breakfast for dinner" steak and swiss omelet with a few strawberries on the side. It served as my #lastfoodofday.

I jumped into my friend's workout room and onto his elliptical and...oh my... totally different style machine than I'm accustomed. I wanted to stop after 10 minutes. It was working different parts of me than my favorite at the YMCA. I pushed it to 20 minutes before calling it good. I was sweating more than when I do a full 30 at the Y. I will feel it in the morning, for sure.

If you're a dad, Happy Father's Day! I hope yours was a good one too.

Thank you for reading,
Strength,
Sean
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Friday, June 13, 2014

June 13th, 2014 Hazard Signal ON, Literally and Figuratively

June 13th, 2014 Hazard Signal ON, Literally and Figuratively

Today was cruising right along just fine. I felt good, I planned and prepared food. I was confidently accomplishing tasks at work, getting everything done I could before a long weekend. I had no idea that my resolve would be tested by a sudden and stressful event late in the afternoon.

My plan after work was solid. I would workout on the elliptical at the YMCA, exchange my vehicle for the station vehicle, then head home for a good nap before my Friday night rodeo broadcast. The plan was working beautifully until shortly after I picked up the station vehicle.

I noticed the station vehicle didn't have the same power it did the day before. I guess I thought it would improve the more I drove. Instead, it got worse. Finally, it died on the busiest strip in town. I was stranded in the middle of a major roadway at the busiest time of day with traffic whizzing by me. I immediately engaged my hazard signal. I even turned on the green and yellow light bar on top. Traffic didn't seem to slow as much as I had hoped. I was nervous because I just knew at any second I would be rear ended by an inattentive driver. My imagination went further, picturing a chain reaction pile up because of my stranded situation. My stress level was going sky high.

And that's when I started thinking about food. I've had nearly two months straight without too much of these kind of thoughts, and suddenly there I was with my brain trying to convince me that a binge would make this all better. Even after the tow truck was called, loaded the vehicle and was transporting me to the mechanic, I was still having an internal struggle...To eat or not to eat. I spoke with a friend, I sent text messages to another and I shared a fraction of what I was feeling. As the tow truck drove past an old familiar binge food source, I had errant thoughts about the fried chicken and fried pies they had inside.

This wasn't brought on by simple sugar because I haven't had any significant amount in two months. This struggle was brought on by stress. My brain's survival instinct was trying to convince me that I needed a binge to survive this ordeal. I was also very tired and needed a nap, so I was frustrated because my nap time had become this crazy stressful time and the clock was ticking. I had to be at my broadcast by 6pm. It was 4:50 by the time the vehicle rolled off the flatbed tow truck and into the capable hands of the mechanics. By this time I knew a nap wasn't happening. I started to feel hunger. This was genuine hunger, not simply obsessive binge thoughts--although they were still dancing in my head.

I was messing around with three of the four HALT items.  HALT is a term used in recovery circles, it stands for: Don't get too Hungry, Angry, Lonely or Tired. I was hungry, angry because my plan was in shambles and I was way too tired. Add to that the fear of being late for my location broadcast--and I was a mess.

The transmission fluid was bone dry. Knowing my schedule of location broadcasts over the next 36 hours, the mechanics filled her up with fluid and looked for obvious leaks. It seemed to be holding for now. They tested the transmission and it engaged!  I was advised to immediately get a case of transmission fluid and a funnel to keep inside the vehicle, then after this busy broadcast weekend--get it into another shop, because they were booked up until after the 4th of July.

By 5:15pm I was headed home. I passed back by the binge place, not stopping, and I started thinking of things I could throw together for a snack before rushing off to my evening broadcast.  I finally decided to hurry to the BBQ place not far from my house for some smoked turkey breast. The plan was to order 8 ounces worth, double check it for accuracy when I got home (last time I ordered 8 ounces it was more like 12oz), and then graze on it during my broadcast. I was running out of time. I still needed to shower, shave and change clothes...it was just after 5:30pm and I had less than 30 minutes before I needed to be ready for the rodeo broadcast. The drive through of the BBQ place was four cars deep, easily a 20 minute wait at a place like this. I quickly turned around and decided to go inside. Bad idea. The line stretched the length of the building, all the way back to the front door. I had mixed emotions. On one hand I was frustrated because this meant no turkey for me. On the other I was silently taking credit for their rush of business, since I had just voiced and produced a rather elaborate and specific commercial for their rodeo week special.

By 5:45pm I was pulling into my parking space back at my apartment. I literally ran upstairs, turned the oven on and threw in two corn tortillas directly on the rack. While those were getting crunchy, I hurriedly cleaned up, shaved and changed clothes. At 5:55pm I opened a can of fat free/sugar free refried beans and weighed a 100 calorie portion. I placed it on a plate and into the microwave for 40 seconds. Took out the crispy corn tortillas, divided the beans between the two--then topped each with 15 grams of light sour cream before plating them and rushing out the door with absolutely nothing covering these "Bean and Cream" tostadas. I live 3 minutes from the rodeo arena and since my first on-air break wasn't scheduled until 10 minutes after 6pm, nobody seemed to notice I was four minutes late.  Once there, I took the time to log this critically important snack, take a picture and tweet the thing with the 260 calorie count.

By the time I had finished the tostadas, I was feeling much better. It wasn't the food and the ending of my slight hunger that was having the biggest impact on my improved feelings, it was because I had felt a familiar "command" in the middle of all that stress and I survived.

Learning that I am capable of making it in the face of extreme stress was a wonderful thing. In hindsight, I really should have expressed to my support buddies just how powerful it was and how powerless I felt in the heat of the moment. I suppose I did just enough to make it through.

Why would I hesitate to share the degree of difficulty I was facing? Out of shame? Like I'm not allowed to struggle anymore?? We both know that's baloney. Recognizing the struggle, identifying the source--and shutting it down was a wonderful accomplishment today. But it could have been very different. I'm not superman even though lately I've felt like I'm flying in a zone of peace and calm...I'm human and I'm a food addict. Part of my behavior with food is the emotional/stress trigger followed by the survival instinct to eat. Breaking up this behavior pattern was a nice victory today.

I'm exhausted. My first broadcast isn't until 11am tomorrow, so I plan on sleeping in as late as possible. I have 9 hours straight tomorrow, so you better believe I'll be planning and preparing for success tomorrow morning as I put together breakfast, lunch and a couple of snacks.

Thank you for reading,
Strength,
Sean
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Friday, June 6, 2014

June 6th, 2014 Maintaining Good Care

June 6th, 2014 Maintaining Good Care

Last night I mentioned how I suspended in-studio weather coverage at 11:30pm. I was actually reactivated and headed back to the studio at 1:20am, finished and was back home shortly after 3am, overslept for obvious reasons and was an hour late joining my morning show, already in progress, shortly after 7:00am.
I made it through the rest of my show, daily after show duties and to a remote broadcast from the VFW's 70th Anniversary of D-Day event.  As soon as my broadcast ended at 1pm, I was done for the day. I didn't get home until after 2pm. I prepared a nice lunch, stayed up a little while and then took a much needed nap.

Even though it was a crazy schedule today, I didn't sacrifice my resolve to eat better and take extraordinary care. This is the season for these kinds of fluctuations in my schedule and as long as I'm aware of what I need and make taking care important, I can get through. And really, this type of inconsistent schedule only happens about 2-3 months out of the year. It just so happens we're right smack dab in the middle of it now...at the same time I'm doing my best to take extraordinary care.  I suppose my definition of extraordinary care is somewhat forced to change and adapt along with the schedule. Today it meant making sure I had adequate food and a solid nap as soon as possible. I did both.

I hit the YMCA for my workout late this afternoon and I must admit, I didn't want to do it at all. Despite the fact that I'm certain of how good it feels to do and the positive transformative effect it has on my mood, I still preferred to not do it today. I had just finished a wonderful nap where I slept soundly and with excellent quality, so I couldn't necessarily say I was tired. I just wasn't feeling it. Not everyday will be a rah rah rah kind of day.  Not everyday will be ripe with exclamation points. Some are just days where we're happy making it through doing the absolute minimum we must, while promising a bigger effort later. I get that.

Trusting in the certainty of sports science, specifically how the body experiences a bio-chemical reaction while exercising, I got all Mr. Wizard on myself, and in little time was convinced I needed to climb aboard the magical elliptical. I did and as expected, it was awesome. Maybe I talked myself into feeling better than normal, I don't know--but I must say, I walked out of that workout feeling twice as good as I normally do.






Perhaps the better than normal feeling was because I overcame my own resistance. Usually I head to the Y with an attitude of let's go! Today it was Do we really have to today?  I have allowed myself a day off from exercise every now and then and I will on a regular basis, but today's resistance wasn't necessary.  I'm so glad I did it anyway.

I'm so glad the weekend is here. I've been well intentioned about replying to comments and emails this week but I've done a poor job actually doing it. The weekend gives me an opportunity to get caught up and I'm looking forward to doing this tomorrow morning and afternoon. I have a three hour broadcast from a car dealership in the middle of that plan. Interacting and engaging in conversation with you about the challenges and successes along this road is one of my favorite things to do. It helps me tremendously to be supportive to those who have been incredibly supportive to me. We're all in this together. Our paths might be different, what works for me may not work for you, but we share some commonalities and truths that are universal to our journey, and in those we find a powerful connection. It's a connection that creates a mutually positive experience.

I enjoyed dinner out tonight with my oldest daughter Amber and her boyfriend KL. I enjoyed the Hawaiian Fajitas again. It was phenomenal as usual. It feels very strange to be able to go in with a plan and stick to it without hesitation. My strategy involved eating three of the combination steak/chicken/shrimp/grilled pineapple fajitas with corn tortillas instead of flour (almost half the calories of the flour) and a smear of sour cream on each. No beans, no rice, no guac and no chips. I enjoyed a fabulously satisfying meal out and I kept it under 500 calories. This is working for me and I feel very good about how I enjoyed the meal and the conversation.  

One of the things I'm working on is finding a balance within my relationships while taking extraordinary care. I'm making a point to call my daughters more often, talk with mom more and basically enjoy this process of transformation without getting overwhelmed and all consumed. I feel good about my progress in that department. I wasn't very good at this during my initial weight loss. But now I recognize how imperative it is to take a well measured approach and not lose touch with the ones we love in the name of focus. Ultimately, this journey for me is about incorporating the standards and practices giving me the best chance at a well balanced life of recovery, while still maintaining a life--and if I can do that, I believe it's then something I can maintain for the rest of my life.

It was a good day today despite the crazy work schedule of the last several days. Storms are rolling through as I write this and it's nice to hear them roll without rushing to the studio for coverage. A colleague of mine is doing the coverage tonight.

I invite you to join me on Twitter for the live-tweeting of my food and exercise along the way. The twitter feed is one of the best accountability measures I've taken. It's having a tremendously positive effect on my eating habits. My love of cheese was mentioned recently and yes, I admit--I love cheese. One thing you'll notice, I don't allow "block" cheeses and I rarely have cottage cheese. I love cottage cheese too much. My previous doctor once suggested look at the sodium content in cottage cheese, so I did and was shocked at how much salt it contained. I don't trust myself with block or cottage cheese. I stick to pre-portioned slices with set calorie counts. I'm feeling good about my behavior around the Laughing Cow wedges. I'm eating them in moderation.  I was initially worried about if I could keep them in the fridge without binging on them and so far I've been successful. When I eat a shredded cheese variety, it's always measured and counted--either 28 grams for a full serving or 14 grams for a half serving, if that will do.

If my food scale ever breaks, it'll be something I immediately replace!

Thank you for reading and your support,
strength,
Sean
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