Weighing Issues and Flirting With “The Crossing Point”
Weigh day is something I look forward to every two weeks. In the beginning, the mind blowing numbers dropping from the scale became somewhat addictive. I don't own a scale, never have, so weigh day is always an event, a bi-weekly destination met with childlike anticipation. When the numbers started to slow down, this event was often times greeted with spoiled childlike reactions. I will say, that after the initial tantrum, I would most usually admit the wrong attitude and be grateful for anything the scale gave me. I did develop some bad weigh day habits as the numbers started to slow. You see, my job starts early, so there isn't time to weigh before work. I most usually weigh in the afternoon, sometimes late afternoon. So I'll completely ignore the needs of my metabolism by eating extremely light until I've weighed. I will not consume a bunch of fluids prior to weigh-in. These deviations from what I know is right and good for me only come around once every two weeks. I need to just buy a scale. But then would I go completely against my own advice by weighing all the time? If you've read into the archives, you know how I feel about the needless grief that can come as a result of CWD (compulsive weighing disorder). I know some people who can use it to their advantage, it motivates them. I don't think I would be one of those. Every water gain would depress me. Being able to weigh first thing on weigh day morning would be nice. I'll have to seriously consider this issue.
Weigh day was kind to me today. I strolled into the doctors office with a confidence that came from feeling smaller lately. Comfortably wearing those small 38's was a pretty good indicator that today's weigh-in would be decent. I stepped on and found a 3 pound loss. 254! 3 more pounds gone forever! And now, here I am...so close to the “crossing point” I've often talked about. That point, where I've lost more than I currently weigh, is somewhat magical to me. I guess it's just cool, I don't know. After 251 pounds lost, we're 1.5 pounds away. Now, when someone says “you're half the man you used to be,” it'll be literal.
Three more pounds was awesome to see today. In the archives I found an eight pound loss from exactly one year ago today...and I think I was still complaining about that! Unbelievable! From May 13th, 2009:
It's amazing how much I look forward to weigh day. I use to dread standing on scales, I knew it was bad, I didn't need the scale to remind me. But it's not bad anymore. I'm getting smaller in a slow and steady fashion. I really wanted to hit the 330's today and I almost did. My last official weigh day I checked in at 349, at the “Lose To Win” final weigh-in I was 347, and today the scales showed 341. A loss of 8 pounds in the last two weeks! It's not the 339 I was hoping for, but next weigh day I'll hit it for sure! I've lost a total of 164 pounds so far! I love it!
“Not the 339 I was hoping for,” really? Did I really expect a ten pound drop? How silly of me. What I've learned along the way is this: A confident patience is needed every day. When you're doing the things you know are right and good and you lay your head on the pillow at night knowing that your calorie budget is solid and your exercise is good, a confident patience can come over you. It's calming. It's re-assuring. That confident patience says “I'm doing what's right and I'll get to where I'm headed along this road. However long it takes isn't of concern really because I know that I'm doing right by this everyday.” The ups and downs, the fluctuations, the tough days and struggles---they come and go, but the confident patience remains strong. I really wanted to be in the 330's a year ago---and here I am getting ready to dive into the 240's. Confident patience. Forgetting about time and just doing what's right today. One day at a time adds up real quick. Confident patience.
I also found this from that same day:
One thing that will be a breakthrough for me tomorrow is tucking in my tuxedo shirt. I've never been a tucker. Most morbidly obese people avoid the tuck. I remember writing about this topic on Day 5. Here's a flashback to that blog: I'm really looking forward to the clothes. I hate clothes shopping because I've never been able to do it without a trip to Oklahoma City or Tulsa to the Big and Tall store. Oh, and by the way---Why do all the big and tall catalogs use trim and neat looking models? The shirt “Fabio” is modeling is not going to look the same in 6XL I guarantee it! Every time I try on a shirt I think...”hmm, this doesn't look like the picture”...It never does. I can't wait to walk into a regular store, just a couple of minutes from my house and buy a pair of jeans. That will be amazing! These are my motivating thoughts. What are your motivating thoughts? I can't wait to tuck in! I've never been a tucker, because fat people don't like to tuck. In most cases it's just not flattering. If I have to tuck for something, it could be a deal breaker. I couldn't imagine actually wanting to tuck in my shirt. That would be so neat. Get it...neat. Cause I'm tucking...anyway.
I really thought every overweight person avoided the tuck, but that's not true. A friend of mine recently shared that he's the exact opposite of me. He thinks he looks bigger if he doesn't tuck. Hmmm...He recently started back down the scale from the 440's, and he tucks everyday. It's interesting. One of his goals is probably to become a casual un-tucker someday. It just goes to show you how each of us are different and how we create our own individual hang-ups. I'm still not a tucker, even at 254. The brain is so powerful, huh?
I just realized something...the above “tuxedo tucking” paragraph was an excerpt within an excerpt. Wow, we're flashing back in layers around here.
This is already long and I haven't even talked about today's activities. I covered weather from 2am and worked through my show, leaving the studio by 10am and heading home to sleep. I decided to weigh after my nap, which I knew would be like a nights sleep for me, so it would be like weighing first thing in the morning...kind of like that, ok—not really. I'm strange.
Anyway...I slept until after 2pm, ran some errands and finally arrived back at the studio around 3:30pm. It wasn't long before I needed to do a few other things away from the studio, so I left and returned a little while later. I finally made it back to the apartment at almost 8pm.
I prepared some shrimp and chicken with green beans and felt completely stuffed afterward, despite the 365 calorie count of the meal. I decided that a nice bike ride would be a perfect end to a good weigh day, and it was. I love my new seat. It's very comfy! It's a padded Bell brand seat, thick---with lots of cushion and a big seat area. When I'm really moving, I hardly ever touch the seat, but when I do, it makes all the difference in the world. I took a different route tonight and ended up riding around a shopping center parking lot less than a mile from my house. When the Burger King smell became too much, I moved down to the movie theater parking lot and rode around like a kid with a new bike at Christmas. I'm not sure what kind of a workout it really was, but it was something. It felt good, really good. And on a week like this, when the workout schedule has been shot at every turn, it's awesome.
Thank you for reading. Goodnight and...