Sunday, June 8, 2014

June 8th, 2014 I Must Always Protect My Journey

June 8th, 2014 I Must Always Protect My Journey

I'm making positive headway on all fronts. I dealt with emotional stress today and didn't turn to food for comfort. Simply understanding that food isn't a therapist isn't enough to stop the bee line to the nearest binge food. We know the food isn't going to fix anything. And so it goes, we run to it anyway, knowing it isn't the answer. At this point, we're just looking for an escape. We're looking for a shelter from whatever it is weighing on us. And we eat. And we eat. And the time it takes us to eat, we're free. We're free from the worry. We're free from the stress. We try in vain to replace the pain, with something good. Even if it isn't good, it taste good. There's pleasure in the taste, pleasure in the bio-chemical reactions its substances provide.  And when we come down, or step away from that shelter, we realize everything is still the way it was, only now we have the added guilt and shame the binge brings. We resolve to not get fooled again. We resolve to get a handle. And we do, until our defenses are shattered and we reach for the same futile weapon, again and again. 

When I'm challenged and feeling exceptionally weak, I must always reach out to someone who truly understands and sincerely appreciates the dynamics involved. Spirituality and meditation help further relieve the urgency for flight. Then, after calming down and getting to a better mental state, I must always go back and confront the issue or circumstance, straight up. Every time I make these choices instead of choosing to escape into food, I get stronger. I don't believe in a time where I'll not need to be aware and on guard. I must always protect my journey, like a momma bear protects her cubs. It's too important to not.

I did well today. I'm proud of myself. I feel strong. I finished the day below my calorie budget and I completed a wonderful elliptical workout at the YMCA. I also took time to prepare some wonderful food.  You can check out my Twitter feed if you're interested in seeing pictures and calorie counts of my food today or any previous day for the last month and a half or longer. It's all there.

As I continue to be positively impacted by the epiphanies of May 15th (Their impact refuses to subside), I realize other bloggers I look up to have demonstrated wonderful examples of loving oneself and finding joy and wholeness in the things that make us who we are. One such example is Loretta. Click her name for her fabulous weight loss blog. She also has a separate blog dedicated to her amazing art, you can find it here.  Loretta has a wonderful perspective on many things. I highly recommend both of her blogs!

I enjoyed posting a micro-blog to my Facebook yesterday:

"What we constantly tell ourselves; the focus of our beliefs, becomes our reality. Even if it isn't true, it doesn't matter. If we give it enough energy, it becomes a very real thing. Our perception of reality IS our reality. If you're telling yourself “this is an impossible task and there's no hope for recovery” or “I'm doomed to fail along this road,” you're breathing life into those notions. The more you say it or think it, the stronger the belief becomes until it's as real as anything. A wise person once said, “thoughts become things,” and it's a powerful truth. If you're plagued by an imminent sense of doom, hopelessness and failing, I challenge you to think differently. My friend, I understand, I've been there on more than a few occasions. I may not know you personally or your unique set of circumstances, but I know this: Regardless of where you are, there's hope. You have an incredible power within you waiting to be tapped. It's as real as anything. You can do this. You deserve it. There's incredible hope and promise when you truly believe. Look around you and you'll likely see people who may have once felt hopeless too and now are thriving. They're not anymore special than you, they simply changed their inner dialogue and dominant thoughts/beliefs. Be kind to yourself. You're beautiful, smart and powerful. Believe it."

I hope you have a wonderful start to your week!  

Thank you for reading,


  1. Thank you for the kind words, Sean!

    And it's taken me a long time to "try" to accept this truth you said:
    " I don't believe in a time where I'll not need to be aware and on guard."

    I think I somehow thought it was some kind of defect in me, or a weakness, or lack of character, or SOMEthing like that, if I admitted that I thought I'd forever have to be on guard. But yeah, I haven't found a time yet where I didn't need to stay aware. When I let it slip and "coast", then wack! down I go. :-}

    Thanks Sean,

  2. I think the most ironic thing about stress/emotional eating is that the fix is only temporary and soon enough you feel bad that you ate food you didn't need. Not turning to food for comfort is a major victory. It's actually one of the things the facilitator at my work challenge is trying to teach us and it's why she's asked us to assign a hunger number every time we eat - so that we can become very aware of those times when we want to eat and we're not physically hungry. It has been an eye-opening experience for me over these last few days.

  3. I think the admission that food does provide pleasure and release of the stress is an important one. That's why we run to it anyways. I always questioned why I still ran to it, knowing it couldn't solve anything. For me, realizing food does affect my stress has been a positive realization as I seek out other ways to alleviate stress. Wouldn't it be nice if we could all move to a tropical Island and live stress free? Oh right, people would be there and where there are people, there is stress! :)

  4. Funny. Divad just wrote half of my comment. :)

    Here's the rest: There are a number of reason why food really does improve our mood and provide comfort, some have to do with childhood memories of experienced comfort related to food, but some are purely chemical.

    Eating carbs provides serotonin to our brains. It's that feel good component that is released in our brain when we eat that gives us that ability to relax...and draws us back.

    Like all good addicts, we remember the "feel good" and forget the pain that follows. (Which, ironically, is usually much worse than what we were trying to soothe in the first place.)


  5. Food is a big liar - it promises relief while it delivers shame and remorse. I don't buy into the lies any more. What gives me relief is telling someone. Really, it works every time, with no remorse or guilt attached. Try it!


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