Monday, June 9, 2014

June 9th, 2014 A Very Special Request From Mom

June 9th, 2014 A Very Special Request From Mom

It feels really good to wake up the day after a stressful day and realize I made it through. It strengthens my resolve and reminds me of some powerful truths. Today was a great day in many ways. My one and only snack today ended up being my #lastfoodofday.  I just didn't feel like snacking in between meals. I wasn't hungry and the next meal never seemed too far away.  I was prepared though, just in case. My apple and orange snack sack sits in the fridge, cooling off after a long day in my man bag.

I'm looking forward to weigh day on Wednesday. I'm trying hard not to elevate my expectations. I'm keenly aware of the emotional toll the scale can take if we allow. This awareness is precisely why I will only weigh every three weeks. During my initial weight loss, it was every two. Three works better for me, I believe. I've resisted taking a little peek along the way, even though I see a perfectly good scale every time I visit the YMCA. Three weeks is a good amount of time to level off the fluctuations of water weight, at least that's my theory. Still, I'll be prepared if I step on the scale Wednesday and it doesn't register whatever number I feel I deserve. Truth is, it doesn't matter. I'm going to keep on keeping on regardless. If I need to tweak my approach, I will. But I'll not tweak it in haste or in an extreme way. Time doesn't matter. Taking the best care each day, one day at a time, does. I will add this: I can see it and feel it. I'm almost certain it's a loss. The question is, how much? Oh the suspense!!

My mom made a special request of me a while back. She wanted me to find the man she married on June 8th, 1963. They weren't married long and she hasn't laid eyes on him in over 50 years. Still, he weighs heavy on her heart and mind. I never realized mom was holding onto and caring for such heartbreak. I've had many conversations with her about this man and I know it would mean the world to her if I could find him. She understands that he may very well be deceased or living happily with a family of his own. Her desire isn't a rekindling of a 51 year old romance, she just wants to see him again, one more time. If I can locate him I will ask if he's okay with a meeting. If he is, I would very much like to take mom to reunite. Even if it's just for a day or an hour, a conversation--some kind of closure for her heavy heart. It breaks my heart to know that she's been longing to see him again for over half-a-century. I love my dear mother and I would do anything for her within my power, but I've come up short on this one. I don't want to lose my mom some day without knowing I tried everything I could to fulfill her request. Mom isn't adept at social media but she knows I'm well connected through Facebook and this blog and she's hoping my social media friends might be able to help.  I've shared it on my facebook page. If you could go there and re-share, that would be much appreciated. Thank you! (I've edited this post, removing his personal information)

UPDATE!!!! The facebook post went nuts in the most wonderful way. I was connected to a private investigator in California. She said she thought she may have found him...but she wasn't 100%. Then, she told me to ask mom his birth date and if it matched, then we have our man. I immediately called mom and asked if she remembered his birthdate. She did---and I got goosebumps all over my body when it matched. I can't call him this late, but I have a few numbers to call tomorrow and I'll report an update tomorrow night. I'm being rather vague with the information because I wouldn't want anyone to contact him before I have the chance. After I make positive contact, I'll reveal how it all came together so quickly. How fascinating!!

UPDATE 2: Update on the search started last evening: First of all, I want to thank everyone for your help. From those of you who clicked the share button to those of you who spent your time and energy actively searching, all of the efforts came together as one--resulting in 5 positive ID's. Thank you. I spoke with mom and she sincerely thanks you too. She expressed appreciation for such an enormous outpouring of love and support via these efforts. The investigator known as "Sherlock" who resides in California, gave me a few phone numbers. The man we were looking for answered my very first call. Unfortunately, a reunion of sorts will not take place. I apologized to him for the intrusion and I told him I completely understood. I may follow up with a brief note in the mail, again apologizing for the intrusion of his privacy, and putting the issue to rest...And it is okay. I will give a lot of thought to whether or not to write, and if I do, will approach it so carefully, as to not cause any further discomfort. It was a shot in the dark. And as much as I was looking forward to driving mom to this unlikely reunion, I must respect the man's privacy and his right to not revisit the past, however benign the intention. I've had a good conversation with mom and we've agreed to discuss this more on my next visit. Thank you again.

I was speaking to a friend of mine today who was enjoying some fried mushrooms for lunch. I LOVE good fried mushrooms. I immediately thought, I'm going to find a way to make my own--and bake them! First of all, I'll admit--my attempt at baked faux fried mushrooms was a big fail! I used baby mushrooms, dipped them into egg white, then I rolled them in some corn meal and spices. I used olive oil spray for the baking sheet and added a few sprays directly to the mushrooms to aid in browning. They were edible. But nothing like I envisioned for my little kitchen experiment! It was fun trying! Do you have any ideas?

I had a great workout at the YMCA this afternoon. My food was spot on and my resolve is solid and determined. I pray it stays this way.

Tomorrow afternoon/evening the broadcasting company I work for is hosting a party for chamber of commerce members. It will be a big to-do complete with all kinds of food and drinks of all sorts. I will reserve special attention for what I need and don't need during this event. I'll be leaving a little early in order to make it home in time for my weekly support group call. I'm confident I'll be fine.

Thank you for reading and for your continued support,
Strength,
Sean

10 comments:

  1. Have fun at the Chamber event. I can solo if you need extra time, Sean.

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    1. Gerri, thank you. I will be in touch if it looks as though I might need to be late or miss.
      I'll try to be present and on time. Thank you for the offer. I'll text or call you later.

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  2. Hey.

    In looking for your mom's first husband, have you checked Ancestry.com? If not, you'll want to type in his full name and date of birth. It may turn up something for you..a line of investigation, perhaps.

    I assume you've done a social security search if your mom gave you his ss#

    I'd poke around in Colorado public court records, if you haven't. birth, death, marriage,e etc. His birth records may give you a link to discovering his siblings and maybe you can find them.

    Again, you'll need his exact date of birth and a social security number would be helpful.

    Forgive me if you've already done all of those tings.

    Deb

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. We found him, four times over! ;) Now, I will try to contact him via phone today.

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  3. How exciting for you and your mom to have found your man. I hope all goes well, and she's able to make peace with it all, or better yet, find some joy in the reconnecting.

    I'm excited about your Wednesday weigh-in, too! Where do your weigh-ins take place? Do you do them in the morning with the same clothes, to keep them consistent (like, before eating)?

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    Replies
    1. Becky, I do them at my doctors office. Looking forward to tomorrow mornings trip! ;)

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  4. Good luck with your search - hope you've got your guy!

    You may not want to hear this but as you know I'm a fairly prolific cook. Some things are better left the way they were first made and I'd bet fried mushrooms are one of those foods. Perhaps just have them on occasion as a treat and drain/blot the oil really well when you make them. You'd be surprised to find out that food doesn't retain as much oil as you think if you fry it at the right temperature which is hot, hot, hot oil. Of course that's not carte blanche to run around eating fried food all the time either lol. Like I said, maybe as a treat.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. No, quite the contrary Helen--I want to hear this. I will definitely fry my mushrooms next time I get the hankering. :) I agree 100%. Some things are just meant to be fried, period. We found him, by the way.

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  5. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That is him! You're the 4th person to positively identify him. Thank you for your efforts!

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