Saturday, August 2, 2014

August 2nd, 2014 Alive, Aware and Present

August 2nd, 2014 Alive, Aware and Present

I started the day by browsing through some of my archives and a few of my old "On The Go Videos" when I came across this one:

I'm going to do more of these "On The Go" videos. I had so much fun making those!
I was taken back to that day and all of the emotions experienced. It was tough and I wanted to quit several times--but I kept pushing, even when I slowed to a crawl, I refused to stop. Transforming feelings of defeat into positive feelings created through perseverance and triumph is what happens along this road when we choose to never give up. I'm so thankful I haven't given up. I came very close to throwing in the towel not too long ago and if you've read this blog regularly over the last three or four months, you know what I'm talking about. Now, those negative thoughts and feelings have transformed and I'm choosing a whole new perspective. It feels good to be so alive, aware and present.

My workout this afternoon at the YMCA was solid. I set the resistance to six, which is three times what it was when I re-started taking extraordinary care sixty-some pounds ago. This increased resistance makes me work hard to get the same time. I had to raise it because the initial setting was becoming much too easy. Remember when I first walked back into the Y? I seriously wanted to stop after five minutes. Not anymore.

I spent some time tonight with a friend, enjoyed a different kind of dinner (see Tweet below) and watched a live stand-up comedy show for the first time in a very long time. It's hard to watch stand-up performances as a "civilian." My brain watches it differently, looking for structure, audience/performer chemistry, delivery techniques and other technical things--and of course I'm mentally writing tag lines. It made me want to do stand up again. I've decided to do a stand-up show, possibly next Spring--with all proceeds going to charity, likely the local domestic violence shelter. We could call it "Stand-Up Against Domestic Violence." This isn't the first thought in this direction, I've actually ran it by the theatre director where our studios are located and he was very supportive of the idea. I don't plan on jumping back in full force like I once did--but somehow I must find a way to workout this side of me.

I'm struggling with getting enough calories to take me to at least 1200 net after exercise burn. I was 159 short today. I'm still trying to adjust to the idea of eat more-lose more. It's a very tough dynamic for someone like me to embrace.

My food today was very good:










Thank you for reading and your support,
Strength,
Sean

19 comments:

  1. I am so excited to see you hitting it hard again!

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    1. You and me, both! I gotta tell Shane, and I know I have-- but it's worth repeating: I'm inspired by your writing--and the epiphanies you're experiencing along your way..Always wishing you the absolute best. Thank you!!

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  2. It feels good to be back, doesn't it? I'm there too, and though the scale is stuck, I know eventually it will start heading down again. I should weigh in every three weeks instead of every day, but I have no patience.

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    1. It does feel incredible!!! The scale will move again for you!! The weigh-in every three weeks thing, for me--has been important... I've been tempted a few times to jump on and take a peek---(usually the thought hits as I'm walking by the scale at the Y--and it does, usually right after a good workout when I'm feeling my absolute best...) But I haven't...Because I know if I step on and it doesn't say what I feel it should, then it will have a negative impact on my emotions...and then I feel compelled to act out negatively.... And when you're doing your best to stay "straight," you don't act out---but it's a struggle... I try to remember this dynamic whenever I'm tempted to weigh outside of my pre-designated tri-weekly weigh days. And I try to remember--it's not about any one weigh day. This trek we're on is so much bigger than the scale. Thank you!

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  3. I know what you mean about the 'critical eye' watching comedy. For a long time after my first book was published (Trust God and Buy Broccoli, a Spiritual Approach to Weight Loss), my passion for reading was wrought with a critical eye. I couldn't enjoy fiction, instead editing a poorly written sentence or even putting the book down if it was 'that bad'. I'm sure you had a similar reaction after writing your book, Sean (Transformation Road, from here to 505 and back).

    When are you going to start your sequel?

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    1. Yes-- it comes naturally...Most comics can't help it, we just don't watch a show from the same perspective as everyone else. As you point out--it covers other things we're passionate about too. The book I'm starting on shortly will be a stand alone book--a short one based on epiphanies of identity and self-worth-- I'll publish it exclusively through digital formats (ereaders and audio version)-- And it will cost no more than 1.99. After that-- I'll write the sequel to Transformation Road. I need some more living time to write that sequel...translation: More learning time. ;) Your support over the years has been and continues to be a critical element of my success, Gerri. Never forgotten--and I'm always grateful.

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  4. Your food looks delicious and nutritious!

    I recently bought a swim suit and signed up for water aerobics. Yeah, it's hard when there is an "X" involved in the swim suit size! I'll be at the pool tomorrow evening, thinking of you! Enjoy!

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    1. Oh Neca--thank you! I'm so glad we'll be in the water at the same time! That's so awesome! It will be an amazing experience!

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  5. It is so good that you are getting all the insight about yourself. THIS is the most important part of weight loss that makes it permanent. Glad to hear your humor is alive and well inside as you should Also remember ha ha is aha with letters rearranged a little. Keep your reporting coming as your motivating so many of us!!!!!

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    1. Nancy--- OMGoodness--- I LOVE what you've written-- "ha ha is aha with letters rearranged," YES!!!! Thank you for your readership and support!!

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  6. It seems like it hasn't been that long since you returned to the YMCA. You are killing it with the workouts. I've said it before how much you inspire me, but watching your video I realized it's something more than just inspiration. As far as weight loss go, I would not and will not ever give up, but following your journey and reading your thoughts gives me hope that I can do this do. Thanks Sean!

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    1. You can do this too, my friend---you absolutely--beyond a shadow of a doubt, can do this. It would of/could of been incredibly easy for me to turn the other way...to have an alternate reality had I not turned this ship around...and it takes time to turn a giant ship around....it takes careful planning and patience...and room... but it's not impossible, for me--for you. It's a beautiful thing, LTR... I'm so happy for you!

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  7. It's so awesome that your head is so in the game. Doesn't the clarity just make you stronger and more determined? It does me! There's a goal and while the road may not be straight, it will be forward!

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    1. Yes indeed, LM. It feels amazing to be in the game--and not feeling defeated from the bench watching everyone else "play." We're MVP's, LM!!! Love what you've written here-- May not be straight--but it will move forward! ;) Absolutely!!!

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  8. Wow, Sean, you are doing great!! I am so excited to see you enthused about losing again. I, too, have started swimming recently. I think something happened in my brain this year where I accepted that I am not a hot 20 year old drawing looks... I am a 40-something Mom, just a regular person getting in and out of the pool... and I don't give a darn whether anyone is looking at me or not. I have never felt that way in my life. I hope you feel confident about yourself and all you are doing! Thanks for commenting on my blog... so nice to catch up with another blogging-old-timer, regainer, reloser!

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    1. It has made my day to reconnect with you! It's been years, Lyn! It was an absolute pleasure reading where you are now. Thank you for reading mine--and for your wonderful perspective on my pool challenge...Yes, YES, YES!! Wonderful perspective! I'm feeling more confident and alive than I ever have---ever. I'm going to take that with me right into the water!

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  9. I remember when you first posted that video, and thinking at the time that you had the light of a little boy in your eyes... pure pride and excitement. It was a joy to watch it then, and a joy to see it again now. I miss your videos!

    Also VERY excited to read that you're planing on doing stand-up again! I can tell how funny you are even from little comments in your tweets, and bet that you're a natural up there, since you're comfortable on stage and have such a great voice, too. Speaking of viewing comedy with a critical eye, have you ever read Steve Martin's "Born Standing Up"? It was a fascinating look into the critical mind of a comedian, and I'm sure you could relate to it. (I also personally enjoyed reading about all the places he started at, since I grew up in southern California myself.)

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    1. Becky, thank you!! I enjoy doing the videos--and plan on doing more! i also enjoy stand-up immensely-- The question I had to ask myself--Why would I stop doing things that bring me so much natural and healthy joy?? There isn't a good reason!! I don't have to turn my life upside down in pursuit of a comedy career--that's not my focus anymore... but I can still do it, as I can--and be truly blessed by it. And the videos--easy!! I have an iphone with a wonderful camera for those! Why not? Becky--thank you for your longtime readership and incredible support! Hope you're doing fantastically well these days!!
      My best
      Sean

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    2. I haven't read Steve Martin's book--but I bet I would LOVE every page!!! I will get the ereader version! Thank you!

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