Thursday, August 7, 2014

August 7th, 2014 Difficult To Unlearn The Lesson

August 7th, 2014 Difficult To Unlearn The Lesson

When we experience a discovery so profound that we're positive it will affect us for the rest of our lives, a couple of things seem to happen--at least for me. First thing is the thought of why didn't I confront this years ago? This question brings up all kinds of negative regretful thoughts and emotions. Monday night while I was exercising in the water, I took a break for a few minutes along the side of the pool. I was watching families frolic about in the adjacent family pool. I noticed the big guy who unknowingly had an impact on me had moved from the hot tub to the pool and now was enjoying water games with what I assume were his kids. I couldn't help but think of all the potential good times and memories I sacrificed with my daughters because I refused to break free. The only comforting thought I could zero in on in the moment was all of the future fun I'll have with my grandson Noah. He'll never see his overly dressed grandfather in 95 degree weather waiting alongside or waiting in the car while he has fun. We'll be laughing and having fun together.

The other dynamic I've noticed is the coming down from the "high" of the experience. So many natural signals, previously set in stone beliefs and mental/emotional issues were blown to bits Monday night, replaced by a freedom and euphoria found in this new, authentic reality. I swam last night and it was good. It almost felt normal, without hesitation and without anxiety eating me alive. It was just, okay. Everything was okay. I didn't snap any pictures or make any videos. I didn't invite my daughter to help me out and be there for needed support. I just enjoyed the water. I didn't feel naked. I actually marveled in the differences between before and now, especially while I was walking past the full water aerobics class. I would have never stepped foot in the lap pool area with that many people around, before. Yesterday it wasn't a big deal to me. It just wasn't. Now, I'm confidently looking forward to swimming at least twice a week and maybe three times, depending on my schedule. My swim trips from this point forward will never be as intoxicating as the first but I assure you, I'll never forget the feeling and it would be very difficult to unlearn the lesson.

A good question came up on my Facebook page today about my food, Susan writes:

"Sean, this is not a criticism, but just an honest question- Your food choices seem a little redundant (omelet, pita, taco, cheese on almost everything, etc.). Do you not get tired of eating the same (or similar) things everyday?"

My reply:

"Susan--no offense taken! I eat what I like and nothing I don't. I abstain from sugar and avoiding this one substance seems to be working wonders for me. Although widely suggested by the likes of Bob Harper and other experts--I came to eating very similar foods for breakfast and lunch quite naturally. Often breakfasts and lunches are similar with rotating varieties of fruit. I try to occasionally mix it up and find some variety with dinner selections. It works for me-- I haven't necessarily become tired of anything because I love what I prepare and eat. I'm gradually adding a few things here and there in an effort to mix it up--for instance adding in the all natural peanut butter. If you look through the Twitter feed of the last 4 months--that is easily the most nutritious approach to food I've ever experienced. And it's no surprise I feel better than I ever have in my life--even better than when I was at 230. Yes--I LOVE cheese, obviously... The important thing to keep in mind is, the only reason I keep the twitter feed and post the tweets on my blog is for my own personal accountability. It isn't a suggestion of what anyone else should eat. It isn't a food plan. It isn't recommended and designed for anyone but me. If it occasionally gives someone some new ideas (some tell me it has), then awesome! I had one person tell me that seeing the food pictures gave them a new perspective on how food while losing weight could look--it was a needed visual for that person. But seriously, I do it simply because it keeps me accountable.  You don't need a Twitter account to view the twitter page-- you can find it here: www.twitter.com/seanaanderson Thank you for the question."

My workout tonight was a solid elliptical performance. I've noticed the more I get into my music the better the workout. If I climb on the machine and I'm thinking about a multitude of other things while I workout, not so much. Now, right before I start my workouts, I take thirty seconds to a minute to stand still, close my eyes and prepare my brain for exercise. I'm clearing the thoughts during this time, letting it all go to the side while I work on me. This centered balance and awareness, or presence idea came from an exercise we use before starting most of our group weight loss coaching sessions. It really helps!

Food Tweets:











I came in 69 calories under my 1200 net calories after exercise goal. I'll call this close enough today. My total calories for the day registered 1,816.

Thank you for reading and your continued support,
Strength,
Sean

10 comments:

  1. hey Sean, when are you going to try water aerobics? You'll love it

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    1. It looks fantastic! I should try. They had some cool foam water weights...intriguing!

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  2. I think it's great you are focusing on what you can do with your grandson now and in the future. I am now realizing what I did not do with my kids when they were small because of my weight. We cannot change the past.

    Also, I tend to be a creature of habit when it comes to my meals. Once I get on a roll with healthy eating, I seem to have many foods the same everyday. I have been told to change it up a little but this tends to throw me off track sometimes.

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    1. We can't change it, true. After I wrote about that I had a thought that is important for me to remember--both of my girls never questioned my love and support of them, ever. I may not have played in the water, but I did a bunch of other things giving them the peace, certainty and support that comes from a loving father. Isn't it incredible how brutal we can be to ourselves sometimes? We deserve more credit!!
      The routine/habits/likes of anyone is a natural thing, in my opinion. How many people have you heard say, "I always order the same thing when we dine there/here...?" How many of us keep the same things on our grocery list time and time again? It's human nature-- you like what you like... I do see how looking at the pics day after day, one could draw the conclusion that it's all the same, but the truth is--it isn't. Breakfast--certainly, 95% most always the same. Lunch-- 60% the same...dinner is varied a little more...
      We do what we can. We do what we like. I agree with you--changing up too much might be a challenge.. My changes tend to come slow and therefore, easier to handle.... Not that I planned it that way--it's just intuitive.

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  3. As they say, hindsight is always 20/20. I try not to dwell in the past and play the "coudda, shoudda, woudda" game. I really like your reply to Katrin (above).

    The fear response,(adrenalin cortisol, and whatever circuits are popping) those are powerful brain chemicals at work. No wonder you felt a sense of intoxication. Glad you're back to "okay". Okay is a great place to be :)

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    1. "Okay" is a where the sweet spot is located! Okay, is where it IS! Thank you Nikki!

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  4. Your statement 'I LOVE cheese..' made me smile. I'm in the same boat with you on that one. One of my many reasons for wanting to lose weight is so that I can be active with my nephew. Since I don't have children of my own, he is the closest I will get. I love him to pieces and it saddens me that I cannot get on the ground to play with him or run around the backyard. He's already five and I've missed out on so much. I need to keep sticking to my calorie budget and find ways to start exercising. I plan to have many fun years with him before he becomes a teenager and tosses us adults to the side for awhile. Noah has a fantastic grandfather!

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    1. LTR, thank you. You're headed in a most wonderful direction! Your nephew has a wonderful Aunt!!! The day will come--the day will come--- Stay true to your plan, LTR--this time is THE time! It's your time!!! Overjoyed for you. I read it in your blog too-- You're doing this!

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  5. It was so interesting how you used the heavy-set man as motivation and inspiration for going out in your swiming trunks. I use heavy-set people all the time, only usually as motivation towards not eating. If I spy someone who is over-weight in the grocery store, I make better choices. The other day when I was grocery shopping. I noticed a very obese woman who was in an electric wheelchair. I don't know the reason, but I'm betting her weight had something to do with her need for that chair. I wasn't far from needing one of those myself. When I go to a restaurant, I try to spot someone within eyeshot, especially if it's a Mexican place where they give you pre-dinner chips and salsa. I need help with avoiding those and if I can find someone who looks like I used to, it helps. Sometimes it even helps me make better choices when it comes time to order my entree. These people are never aware that I am using them, so I hope it's not too unkind. They remain anonymously instrumental in my battle to fight weight gain.

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    1. I get it, Dupster, completely. If you're like me, your heart breaks for them too, especially if they appear to be struggling horribly. The guy the other day--wow, he was such an instant inspiration to me--an example...he was literally and figuratively leading the way. I had instant respect and admiration...Total. He was doing, and doing it without the slightest indication of effort--He was just, okay. It wasn't a big deal at all. In fact--Had I tried to explain to him what he did for me (I didn't and wouldn't--the situation was perfect as is), he likely would have given me a puzzled look. I shouldn't assume his experience but I totally read him as someone who has lived fully despite his weight for a very long time. Could be way off there..Perhaps he overcame these hangups a long time ago...I'll never know....All I know is, he helped me tremendously last Monday evening. I've done the same as you--it's not unkind, it's just powerful reminders of where we once lived.

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