Friday, August 8, 2014

August 8th, 2014 Just One Bite

August 8th, 2014 Just One Bite

I was offered "just a bite" of something sugar laden three times this week. It didn't phase me in the least, I just smile and say "I don't eat sugar." Not "I can't have sugar," because clearly I can. I choose to NOT eat sugar because after forty-two years of research, I've concluded that it activates a reactive addiction cycle within me. One of the offerings came with "Oh, come on, a little tiny bite won't kill you!" Another was "It's not big enough to hurt you!" I don't blame these people, it's fine--I get it. It's interesting to me that I'm the one most at peace with giving up sugar, while some around me seem slightly perplexed and in a way, sympathetic. "Oh, that's right, I'm sorry...how are you doing with that?" Like it's a huge burden on me. It isn't at all. 

It's easily one of the greatest food experiences of my life. To be released from the constant urges to binge, where I felt possessed, has been nothing short of a miracle. Remember--I'm the man who would fantasize about his upcoming late night binge while driving to a big dinner at a friend's house. Or, after telling myself I had to stop the three or four times a week giant ice cream shake habit that not another soul knew about, I'm the same guy that would then put on his shoes at 10:25 pm and drive like a maniac to make it into the drive through by 10:30 pm for another "fix," not because I necessarily wanted to do it--I felt compelled to do it, driven to do it. I was scared out of my mind because I was doing it. In the middle of that fierce addictive cycle, I feared I was too lost to ever make it back.

Richard Pryor was once asked if he could ever imagine getting his addictions under control, to which he replied, "I got the demon." And although the addictive substances are drastically different, I understand what he meant, completely.

We would never ask an alcoholic in recovery to take a sip of vodka because "a tiny bit won't kill you." And if we did, the recovering alcoholic would likely disagree with that statement.

I have traded the terrifying chaos for peace and sacrificing my peace for a piece of anything full of sugar, isn't worth the trade, ever.

It will happen again, the offers, just like the three times this week and it's perfectly okay. Unless someone has lived these dynamics, it's nearly impossible for them to grasp the magnitude of "just one bite" for someone like me. I don't have any issues with someone encouraging me to indulge. I'll continue smiling and simply saying, "I don't eat sugar."

The fact that I am here, doing what I do and doing better than I ever have, is nothing short of a miracle from above. I'm immensely grateful. 

My planned workout tonight was a nice combination of elliptical and swimming. I hit the elliptical hard for 30 minutes then took to the deep end of the family pool because the Y closes the lap pool at 7pm on Friday. It wasn't as good of a workout as I get in the lap pool, but it was still good. Instead of swimming various strokes, I did several different aerobic movements in my corner of the pool. At some point I'll stop mentioning the following--but for now it's too fresh to not: No anxiety, no hesitation, no worries about what anyone thinks, stood alongside the pool in a bathing suit, without a shirt as I prepared to deal with the initial "cold dip" and everything was fine...in fact, it was better than fine. It was beautiful. I swam three times this week and it felt INCREDIBLE. The transformation of perspective is one of the biggest along this road.

In an effort to bump up my calories in consideration of calories burned, I've added some nutritionally dense foods. This is the compromise I'm making with the part of my brain that resists adding calories for fear of gaining. Adding the extra calories is giving my metabolism what it needs to properly work and if the metabolism is working properly and the body is getting what it needs, I'll continue losing weight. The deal is simple: I'll break my 1700 calorie bank, but only with the most nutritious foods. I've added some Shakeology, as you'll see in the tweet below. After burning 888 calories today, my 288 calorie vanilla-banana-all natural peanut butter smoothie #lastfoodofday still didn't bring me to 1200 net calories. I ended the food day at 1,904 calories and 1,016 net calories after calories burned. It takes some careful planning, for sure.

Also, I'd like to make extra sure that MyFitnesPal is calculating calories burned accurately. The app considers my height and weight, so it should be close. In an effort to "check" it, I'm borrowing a monitor from a dear friend. It will give me an accurate reading for comparison to the MFP numbers.

You'll find something missing from my meal Tweets today. Be one of the first three to correctly identify what's missing and you'll win an MP3 audio version disk of my book Transformation Road-My Trip To Over 500 Pounds and Back. Good luck!

Meal Tweets:








What's missing in today's food tweets? Be one of the first three to answer correctly and you'll win! Good luck!

Thank you for reading and your continued support,
Strength,
Sean

32 comments:

  1. No Cheese today!! Where is the cheese??

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Leah, you won!! I decided to see what it would be like to totally eliminate cheese for a day. It was doable, but not quite as enjoyable! :) Cheese is coming back today, I assure you!
      Please send me an email with your mailing address and I'll send the mp3 disk of my book right away!
      transformation.road@gmail.com Congrats!

      Delete
  2. Where is your beloved morning coffee??

    ReplyDelete
  3. Oh, never mind, the coffee is on your Twitter page. Just Leah is right, it must be the cheese!

    FYI, Sean... it's really hard to read most of those "prove you're not a robot" words. I have to go through about 6-8 of them before I find one I can even guess at!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I may get rid of the captia thingy...if I can figure out how...If I get some spam, I'll know it immediately--and I can just delete it. Yeah--those things drive me nuts too!!
      Becky-- You won!!!
      Please email me your mailing address and I'll ship the MP3 audio version disc right away!
      transformation.road@gmail.com
      Thank you! and Congrats!!

      Delete
  4. Noo pita bread or taco shells. :) If I got it right, pass my winnings onto someone else. I already have your book. (I just like a puzzle.)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Very good observation, Deb!! I wasn't even thinking of those!! The answer was, of course--cheese! I must rethink and restructure giveaways--this was my first! Fun!! Thank you Deb, very much!!

      Delete
  5. Just curious... if you were trying to make it to 2000 calories, why not just add more banana or peanut butter to the shake? Easy fix. : ) Of course I can't imagine in a million years ever being short on calories... LOL.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. In order to hit 1200 net yesterday--based on MFP calories burned, I would have needed nearly 2100 calories. You're right--it isn't hard to physically do it--- mentally though, for me--another story!!--After being so strict about calorie budget management, it runs contrary to some deeply embedded beliefs and habits... That's why I've made the deal with myself--if I need to exceed 1700, it will only be with nutritionally dense foods...

      Delete
  6. Sean I think you are right to check how many calories you are actually burning. A lot of apps and machines at the gym can overestimate by quite a lot, and a couple of times I have been surprised by the calories you have said you burnt in a relatively short exercise period. You might be unpleasantly surprised. I think a heart rate monitor would be more accurate. My own experience was that when I got a heart rate monitor the numbers it gave were about half to two-thirds of what I had previously thought.

    So this means don't force yourself to eat a lot of extra calories if your body isn't asking for more fuel, and don't worry about it if you end the day a bit short as long as your workouts are still going strong!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. This is what I'm concerned about. I'm borrowing a heart monitor this evening in an effort to check and compare. We'll see!! :) Great advice, Natalie--thank you!!!
      "...don't force yourself to eat a lot of extra calories if your body isn't asking for more fuel, and don't worry about it if you end the day a bit short as long as your workouts are still going
      strong!" Absolutely!!

      Delete
    2. Whoops, somehow I missed that little competition! I would have been third too, assuming I'd have got it right. Oh well.

      Delete
  7. No cheese :(. Loved today's post about "just having one bite"

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Colleen,
      Yes!! It was a one day hiatus from my beloved cheese. So, :)!
      I'm so glad you enjoyed the post!! It's so true for me-- so real and powerful...you too, huh?
      Please email me your mailing address and I'll ship you the MP3 disc of Transformation Road.
      transformation.road@gmail.com
      Congrats Colleen!!

      Delete
  8. I'm going to say no cheese too. You love your cheese.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Belinda, that's it! Unfortunately I already have three winners! But I'll do this again very soon. Much fun!!

      Delete
  9. No cheese! It was obvious by breakfast! I don't think I'm a top three, but if I am, please pass the prize along. I've got your book and love it! Now...a bracelet would be awesome! ;)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. J-- It was a cheese free day! Thank you for the book compliment! Hmmm...I'll make the bracelets the prize for the next contest very soon! I must structure it differently, how I do it-- to make it fair for everyone... I didn't think about it, but considering how late I posted this blog page, those who naturally wouldn't read the post until several hours later didn't have a chance! I'll ponder this carefully and get some "I'm Choosing Change" leather bracelets ready as prizes!! Great idea, J--Thank you!!

      Delete
  10. "The transformation of perspective is one of the biggest along the road". Truth!! My weight was the results of how warped my perspective was. I ate the lifestyle that kept me 85lbs overweight. Shifting our perspective is when the healing begins. Proud of you, my brother :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Jae,
      Thank you, sincerely. And I love your usage of the word "healing." It is a healing, indeed.

      Delete
  11. I could not agree more on your stance on sugar.

    The not easy part is 95% mentally, not knowing how much sugar has affected you until you actually go cold turkey. The actual process of avoiding sugar once you have it out of your system becomes a very easy choice because your you no longer crave it.

    In my case, I had no idea, artificial sugar and sugar had such a profound effect on my hunger issues until I actually went cold turkey myself. It's the most awesome feeling in the world to enjoy the scents of baked goods or watch other people have there deserts, yet have no desire yourself to indulge. Liking my eating habits 10x more than my previous ones, it would be far more difficult for me to go back to eating added sugar again than it was when I initially went cold turkey to avoid the sugar. It's that sense of freedom, freedom from food addiction, no longer being controlled by food through cravings, food eating binges, hunger issues or emotional eating.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Jon--I finally get it and I'm enjoying it immensely!! You were one of several who inspired me to commit. In fact, it was your experience and encouragement that finally pushed me over the edge-- I thought---wow, I gotta give this a try. Thank you!!! You're right--you never know if it's going to make a profound difference until you honestly give it a go.

      Delete
  12. I was going to say CHEESE also because it adds so much to a dish. Also wanted to say that when someone pushes sugar now, I just say "I can't eat sugar, I am allergic to it. One bite, and I break out in fat." :) Corny, but they usually move on and accept my decision not to eat it. Grateful you've had such a wonderful week, Sean. Shirley from TN

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Shirley--may I please borrow that line, occasionally?? I LOVE that line!!!! Perfect. Not corny at all!! Thank you Shirley, so much!

      Delete
    2. Sure! Shirley from TN

      Delete
  13. EXCELLENT insight/post on (sugar) addiction. EXCELLENT. Thanks for some amazing points for all to ponder. :)

    ReplyDelete
  14. Love your stance on sugar. Sugar and sugar substitutes also do a number on me. I've eliminated about 95%. Even my "healthy" protein powder for smoothies was full of sugar, fructose and other odd stuff; I was eventually able to find a decent one.

    Sorry to hear people were trying to tempt you into eating stuff you didn't want. If these folks didn't know you well or your situation, that is forgivable. Keep up the good work :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Nikki,
      I'm with you on the 95%... The minuscule amount in the ingredients list of the non-flavored non-dairy creamer I occasionally use in my beloved coffee doesn't/hasn't had an effect on me. It constantly amazes me how many products you wouldn't expect to have it, does have it--some prominently!!! It's a nutrition label reading exercise every time I shop!
      I use Pyure Brands Organic Stevia and it doesn't bother me at all--of course splenda and other artificial sweeteners do!
      Thank you Nikki--I'll keep it up! Your support is appreciated!

      Delete
    2. One of these days I'll switch to unsweetened almond milk to "cream" my coffee--and I'll be able to say 100%!! ;) I have a carton in the fridge-- I honestly haven't a good excuse not to try!

      Delete
  15. I also have your book and read it twice Sean! Can't wait for you to write your book with what you have been going through THIS time with your healing AND food pictures with cal etc count. Please don't make us wait until you reach goal!!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Awe, Nancy--thank you! I plan on starting another book very soon!

      Delete

I sincerely appreciate you taking the time to leave a comment. Thank you for your support!






Copyright © 2008-2017 Sean A. Anderson

The Daily Diary of a Winning Loser. All rights reserved.