Saturday, August 30, 2014

August 30th, 2014 In Harmony With How I Feel

August 30th, 2014 In Harmony With How I Feel

Today started with a big cleaning of my apartment. It was a deep cleaning, the kind that doesn't get done often enough! It was a wonderful opportunity for me to clear some things out. I made several trips to the trash dumpster downstairs! I didn't realize how wonderful the exercise was until this evening when I felt it in every move made! It was absolutely a workout!

I realized a connection between the condition of the environment we keep and how we truly feel about ourselves when I experienced some serious depression last year. As I cleaned today, I kept thinking--wow, I've come along way from when "this" was acceptable. Cleaning isn't fun. I don't like it. I'm not good at it. But I'm willing to get better, because I want to get better--because I'm feeling better about me. Having a cleaner apartment feels good. It's more in harmony with how I feel about me. It correctly reflects this. It always has. And I truly believe this dynamic is universal.

I was genuinely tired after today's cleaning project. I knew a nap was in my future as soon as I opened my eyes this morning. By the time I was at a point to take one, it was late in the afternoon. I set the alarm for an hour and a half, laid down and I was out for 2.5 hours. It was some of the most restful naps I've experienced in a very long time. Oversleeping a nap happens. This evening it almost cost me big!

I was scheduled to pick up my daughter Amber for the concert this evening, by 6pm. I was set to arrive at the music festival around 7pm and be on stage by 8:15pm. I woke at 6:38pm to Amber's voice asking, "are you coming?" My first thought wasn't, oh no, I'm late! My first thought was that was a premium nap!

My arrival at 7pm wasn't mandatory, thank goodness. The plan to arrive that early was purely for my benefit, so we could arrive and I could relax a little before my brief MC duties. Still, this extended nap wreaked havoc on my plans to be prepared food wise.

I had a late breakfast and late lunch, which is typical for me on a weekend day. I knew I wouldn't be ready for dinner before the event tonight, so my plan was to prepare and pack a good meal for Amber and me to enjoy in the broadcast vehicle prior to settling into the evenings festivities. I knew there would be a big free hospitality buffet for VIP's and sponsors, but not knowing what that might include didn't set well with me. I really didn't want to leave my food choices up to whomever planned this part of the festival.

I left my apartment without a dinner plan of any sort. I was so rushed I didn't even have time to blend a Shakeology to help get me through. I picked up the station vehicle, picked up Amber and we headed North to the festival 25 minutes away. I was cutting it very close. About ten minutes out, I called the promoter and informed her I was indeed en route and would be arriving shortly. I'm glad I made the call. The promoter was waiting for me as soon as we pulled into the parking lot. We were handed our VIP parking pass and all access badges and lanyards, then escorted to where we needed to go. Within minutes I was on stage making announcements and getting the crowd ready for Pat Green and the night's headliners, The Little River Band.

The promoter wasn't the least bit phased by how closely I cut the schedule. She graciously offered, "You're not late, you're right on time! But you did miss the free buffet." Awe, darn. Our food choices outside were worse than the infamous chili and omelet fiasco of Thursday night. The choices were hotdogs, snocones, other various concession stand food, liquor and beer. Uh, no thank you to all of the above. After my early announcements, we had a couple hours before I needed to do it again, so this gave us time to make our way from the outdoor festival grounds and into the restaurant located inside the host casino.

Once again I asked for some menu modifications and was met with a most helpful server, ready to go above and beyond. The grilled squash and zucchini in the below dinner tweet photo? That particular side dish isn't found on their menu. My sincerely polite queries and obvious important concern inspired the server and kitchen staff to get creative and the result was a meal I could feel great about. Amber and I tipped our server extra for this extraordinary service.

When I look at the below photo of me on stage tonight, my first thought doesn't immediately focus on the fact that as of last weigh in, I'm still ninety-five pounds from my previous healthiest weight. Not at all. My first thought was, I need smaller shirts! I felt confident on stage tonight and it showed. And showed very well, according to my daughter!
 photo f69a5681-f888-429b-8a73-0b4533bcf4b4_zps8b4da643.png
My Food Tweets today:












Thank you for reading and for your absolutely incredible support,
Strength,
Sean

20 comments:

  1. Another great day in the books, in spite of the unique challenges of your life! Well done! And you look like a true natural under the spotlight. : )

    ReplyDelete
  2. PS-- your insights about how our environment can affect us and reflect us was very well-timed for me-- I have been letting things slide around my little place lately, and was thinking just this evening that it kind of drags me down when my environment isn't cared for, much like when my physical body isn't cared for.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The connection between the environment we keep and how we feel, not only about ourselves, but everything--is powerful and often runs parallel to one another. Show me someone who takes pride in the cleanliness of their surroundings and I'll show you someone with a positive self-image. I can say this, not because I'm any kind of expert on others-- it comes from my personal experience. I'm a dedicated student of my own condition! ;)

      Delete
    2. It's likely not a fool proof theory--I'm sure there are some who have poor self-image, self esteem-identity issues and still manage to keep an orderly environment... It was just never my experience.

      Delete
  3. You look great in your pic! I started (restarted) twitter today so that I could follow you! Thanks for your inspiration.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Jessica--I'm so happy I've inspired you to get back on Twitter! I'm proud of the record I'm establishing there...every bite, everyday--pictured and counted. This "extreme" accountability measure has given me so much more than I hoped for. It's been nothing short of a blessing. You're very welcome, Jessica! My best to you always!!

      Delete
  4. You're amazing Sean! Not having your dinner planned or with you, you still found a way to eat healthy rather than giving in to the concession food. Way to go!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Awe, LTR--thank you!! It's a determined spirit, indeed. And it all rests on the simple declaration that I will do my best in maintaining the integrity of my calorie budget. I'm honoring myself and my commitment when I refuse to settle for anything less than what will give me the positive mental/emotional and to a lesser degree, physical benefits that keep my good momentum going strong. Keeping this promise to myself gives me a sense of accomplishment like few other things can. It's important, because I'm important. You are too, LTR. ;)

      Delete
  5. I am so proud to see when you meet a crisis that you just go with the flow. No biggie. It's very encouraging. You have taught me by example to enjoy your food or you will never stick with losing weight. Who can stick with cardboard. I think of some of the horrible things I have ate down through the years losing and gaining weight and I know why I did not stick with it. I hope I am on the right track now. I have a long way to go to reach my goal. Thank you for sharing. pat

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Pat, I'm overjoyed that my journey has made a positive impact on yours. Thank you for sharing this today. You're very right--if it's something we're eating simply as a means to lose weight, it's temporary at best. If we're eating things we naturally enjoy anyway, it's sustainable--it's lasting--it's never a chore or a "choke it down," type thing. I eat what I like and nothing I don't. I am open to trying new things, new foods--but if it isn't agreeable with my taste buds after that--I'm out!
      Pat--never give up, my friend. Your dreams of a healthier weight and freedom from all the restrictions previously accepted as the norm, is alive and wonderful. Nurture it, my friend. Keep it as simple as you can moving forward and you're going to make it. This time, is your time, Pat. Like never before!! I'm so happy for you!!!

      Delete
  6. Oh, pepper Jack, how I adore thee! Mushrooms too!

    Great job re the limited food choices! Going to a restaurant and ordering to my needs fills me up with a POWER that is akin to 'premium' gasoline to a car. It super charges me because I'm in control! I can feel that from your post, too! :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Pepper Jack--what a beautiful and tasty combo, huh? And the mushrooms--so good!
      I absolutely adore your "premium gasoline" analogy! Yes, indeed!!!! Thank you Gwen!

      Delete
  7. You look great but you're right, you DO need smaller shirts. lol Is that cottage cheese with just salt and pepper? I might have to try that instead of always having to add a fruit.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. My old perspective would have never let me post that photo. Still 95 pounds above my previous healthiest weight--I can see the big difference. The new perspective I carry doesn't care how I look in the photo. It is what it is and as I proceed to my healthiest weight the old "at goal" look will emerge--but it will never again be my main focus and pursuit. This loving myself regardless of what I look like is pretty powerful stuff. It isn't perfect. But it's good and life changing.
      I need smaller shirts!!! The bigger shirt makes me look much bigger, for sure.
      Yes--the cottage cheese has a small amount of salt and a generous amount of black pepper. No fruit. I've never cared for it with fruit. I mean, it's okay with peaches occasionally, but I prefer it this way.
      When they brought out the cottage cheese, I could clearly see it was a double sized portion. My daughter Amber loves cottage cheese as much as I do--so splitting the portion was the perfect solution! Thank you, Joan, for the compliment!!

      Delete
  8. Awesome job! I've often found that restaurants and servers are willing to go the extra mile - if only we ask! The asking part was an excuse for me in the past. I wouldn't ask, so of course I limited my choices because if you don't ask, the answer is always 'no'!

    You're doing great and there are thousands upon thousands of people whom I'm sure would love to have your confidence speaking in front of a group of people!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. So true, LM! If we don't ask the answer is always no!
      Thank you!

      Delete
  9. Sean,

    I could SO identify with what you said about "I realized a connection between the condition of the environment we keep and how we truly feel about ourselves ." And I have some thoughts to add to that. I have NEVER been a good housekeeper! But in this latest "journey" I have seen the link between a neater environment and maintaining the rest of the lifestyle we want to maintain. Case in point....I just am coming off of a long intense period of work. Before I started, at the beginning of August, I spent a weekend cleaning my apartment. I know from past experience that exhaustion (especially work exhaustion) and living in a mess leads me to feel like a "waste product" and start eating like one, too! I felt like if I started off with a neat place, even if I was exhausted from work, I would still feel more centered and serene and be less likely to fall into that trap. I was not perfect with my eating this month, but I do think that having a clean place helped. It is another way of "taking extraordinary care", as you say!

    Dede

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. So very true Dede!! It is totally a part of taking extraordinary care!!

      Delete
  10. As always ! I can always relate to Your posts. I have realized that the times I am most out of control of my body and mind are the times when everything is cluttered and forgotten in my house. While no one would be calling hoarders on me, I have found that as I keep going on this newly started journey cleaning out has become like working out but for my mind and body. Nothing feels better that a clean orderly house, well, that may be a tad exaggerated but it sure is way up there on my list. Great job!

    ReplyDelete

I sincerely appreciate you taking the time to leave a comment. Thank you for your support!






Copyright © 2008-2017 Sean A. Anderson

The Daily Diary of a Winning Loser. All rights reserved.