June 9th, 2018 Good Place To Stop
Today: I maintained the integrity of my maintenance calorie budget, I remained refined sugar-free, I exceeded my daily water goal, and I stayed well connected with exceptional support.
This entire journey is full of wonderment and new discoveries along the way. There are the purely physical discoveries, like the time I alarmingly asked my doctor about the large, hard "growth" in the center of my chest, only to be introduced to my sternum. Or the first time I marveled at feeling my rib cage, or laying on my side and seeing my hip bone for the first time in decades...I just laid there and felt it in total astonishment. Those are fun, indeed.
Some of the most revealing and important discoveries have little to do with the physical and everything to do with the mental/emotional aspects of it all. Like getting all the way to a predetermined number, but still feeling the same inside despite the compliments and how many bones you can see and feel. This is where it gets challenging.
Sticking to a plan, remaining consistent and getting results is a challenge, but nothing like the challenge of changing a lifetime perception of oneself. The mind doesn't gradually change along with the numbers on the scale. Often times, we'll look for increased validation from others, in hopes we'll be convinced of our worthiness of love and acceptance. The problem with this strategy is, even when we're receiving genuine adoration, compliments, praise, and validation, none of it counts if we have a voice inside negating every word.
We can't pretend to believe something we don't. We can try, but it's a thinly layered facade at best and it doesn't take long for our most genuine feelings about ourselves--the ones with all of the emotional anchors--to override our systems, and set us back to where we started. It's interesting because, often times we're searching for something from others, that we haven't taken the time to recognize and give, unconditionally, to ourselves.
As we proceed to take extraordinary care, we quickly realize the importance of self-honesty with our food and exercise choices. Leveling the same brand of self-honesty to the emotional side of things can be a difficult bridge to cross, but one worth crossing. And even after we cross that bridge, we're still capable of retreating back across if we don't make this inner exploration critically important.
If our list of weight loss goals and expectations include finally feeling good about ourselves, then that, in my opinion, is a good place to stop and evaluate the mental/emotional aspects of this journey we're on.
You're good, right now. All of the critical judgments you're making completely miss the point of who you are and what you're all about. We've heard the expression, "it's what's on the inside that counts," and still, we're often too preoccupied with the outside to fully grasp the meaning.
I'm not saying the physical changes aren't important. I'm simply saying it's important to embrace this: The wonderful elements inside us do not improve when the scale goes down and they don't decline when the scale goes up. The physical side of this journey provides better health and increased mobility. The mental/emotional side can provide the most dramatic transformation of all. Because if we exercise this area of personal introspective study, we're in effect, fortifying our position and giving ourselves the greatest chance at success beyond whatever predetermined number or outward sign of success we're after.
I've experienced all of this first hand. I'm a student along this road and I'm always learning. I didn't expect this journey to become such a deep kind of thing. If you've read the archives of this blog from Day 1, you can tell--I didn't know where I was headed beyond the smaller numbers, smaller body, and smaller clothes. Discovering, then dealing with the elements beyond the superficial isn't easy sometimes, or ever. But it's worth the effort. We're worth it. I'm worth it. You're worth it.
If we give ourselves this loving attention first and foremost, the ride will be much smoother down the road.
If you're disgusted with yourself, it's time to forgive. If you're ashamed of your regain, it's time to forgive. If you constantly beat yourself up for perceived failings along the way, it's time to stop. It's time to forgive. It's time to get real. It's time to embrace, you. You deserve this level of love and care. Stop denying yourself. We're all human. And as humans with human emotions, we crave love, acceptance, connections, and certainty. Finding these things within, giving them to ourselves first--changes everything and allows us to recognize it from others down the road, a little easier.
Thank you for reading and your continued support,