Friday, November 30, 2018

November 30th, 2018 The Grooves

November 30th, 2018 The Grooves

Yesterday: I maintained the integrity of my reduced calorie budget, I remained refined sugar-free, I exceeded my daily water goal, and I stayed well connected with exceptional support.

The added focus on gratitude during my morning foundation routine has made an exceptional difference. Feeling and expressing gratitude has always had its place along this road, but in a way where I would make and take an occasional pause for gratitude, usually, these were in the moment type acknowledgments. Giving gratitude reflection its own "time slot" in my personal morning routine, first thing upon waking is different--and much better for me.

The willingness to do things differently is sometimes a hard thing to find. It is, in my opinion, because I have a strong tendency to get set in my ways. I must be mindful of this dynamic. The roots of this setting seem to be firmly grounded in my deeply ingrained, yet counterproductive desire to go it alone--or figure it out--or the thoughts of, I know what to do, I just got to do it. These mental settings are all about the need to control. Letting go of this isn't and never has been easy for me. At the same time--when I have let go; closed my mouth and opened my eyes and ears, what I've received has helped shape and change things in dramatic ways.

In the areas of my life that have undergone a dramatic and positive transformation, it's almost exclusively a product of what I've learned from others who have what I want. Still, in other areas, I continue to hold the reigns tightly. Isn't that an interesting dynamic? It is to me. These patterns and grooves of our lives are not easy to give up. The grooves are created early and made stronger with each passing year and decade. Like many of us, it started young for me.

I crossed the three hundred pound mark by age thirteen. By the time I turned nineteen, I topped the scales at over five hundred pounds. I was a functional five hundred pound family man with a wife and two children by the time I turned twenty-one. My career as a radio personality made it easier for me to stay employed despite my physical limitations, however, the struggle with morbid obesity took its toll throughout my twenties and up to my mid-thirties. It wasn't long before raging high blood pressure, sleep apnea, lymphatic system damage and swelling in my legs to the extreme of skin breakage, and more undesirable consequences started making life much harder to navigate. With each serious health concern came a new wake up call and the bold declaration, “this is it, now's the time.” I made that identical declaration many times.

I cannot count the number of weight loss plans, diets, pills, shakes, and special programs I tried over the years. My dieting career included many different methods, all with the same result. If I lost anything at all, the weight always came back, and usually with a little more. The plans didn't work, I didn't work them—or a combination of those two, but ultimately my perspective didn't work.

I wanted a quick fix. I wanted something or someone to do it for me. Every weight loss attempt was simply a means to an end. If I did have any measure of success, I was constantly waiting for it to be done so I could return to my previous behaviors with food.

Things didn't start changing for me until I stopped trying to figure it all out on my own. I started listening to and watching others who had what I wanted and once and for all, I finally installed some things missing from nearly every other weight loss attempt: The willingness to be open, honest, and embrace solid accountability and support. These were game changers. I believe there's more to come for me in various other areas along this road as I utilize these same tools.

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