A Day All About Living

A Day All About Living

It's hard to believe this is my fifth Thanksgiving since starting along this road.  I started with a 5K at the stroke of midnight and I'll do another late afternoon in between dinners.  Yes, dinners. I'm traveling to Stillwater with my daughters for a mid-day dinner with mom and family, then back to Ponca City for an evening version with my daughters at their mom's house.  There will be food.  Plenty of food.

How does this food addict make it through Thanksgiving without spiraling into a months long bender?

Knowing my limits is key.  In weight loss mode or maintenance mode, I must have a limit.  I'll allow 2500 calories, if needed.  I say " if needed" because I remember a few years ago getting late in the evening and eating more simply for the sake of hitting 2500.  That's silly.  I'm in weight loss mode and much less likely to be silly this year.

I'll still avoid certain high-calorie, high-fat and super sweet things, like pecan pie and, uh...pecan pie.  In all fairness to pecan pie, it is delicious indeed.  The first four Thanksgivings along this road, I thought I was avoiding pecan pie based on caloric value alone.  I now understand there's more to it than that.  I'm avoiding it this year for the calorie value reason, plus--with its super rich sugar content, I'm confident it's one of my trigger foods.

I'll eat reasonably and my plate(s) will be an example of what doesn't trigger my urge to binge. I'll have some turkey breast, a normal size portion of mashed potatoes, a small portion of dressing, some vegetables and even a slice of pumpkin pie.  Maybe a roll, maybe not.  I've never been a big bread person. 

We're all different.  What doesn't trigger me may send you reeling.  Noticing, being aware and honestly assessing our individual limits is paramount to our success. 

The conditioning that Thanksgiving must be a holiday where everyone gets stuffed beyond reason is ridiculous to me now.  It is traditionally centered around food, but that doesn't mean I have to conform to tradition.  I will keep my focus on the best parts of Thanksgiving--the family, the love and the many blessings in my life.  The food will take a back seat, a minor role.  The food will be good, no doubt, but I will not make it a day all about food.  I will make it a day all about living.

If you're celebrating Thanksgiving today, make it one to remember for all the best reasons.  I'll do the same!

Thank you for reading, Happy Thanksgiving and...

Good Choices,
Sean

This picture is from last holiday season.  I had been at goal for just over a year.  I look at this picture and realize getting back there isn't really that far down the road physically.  It is worlds away mentally when compared to the struggles of the last six months.  I'm so thankful today for the hands extended me while reaching out recently.  With strength from above and amazing support from so many, I'm choosing change.  And I'm doing it with new information about my strengths and weaknesses.  A life forever free from the chains of obesity was once just a dream.  I'm wide awake now and learning what it takes for the forever part. 

Pan Pizza and Ice Cream Cakes, Mercy

Pan Pizza and Ice Cream Cakes, Mercy

My life has had many ironic twists along the way.  A running irony is how my job sometimes requires me to be a salesman of everything from different restaurants to grocery items.  Yep, that's me talking about the new pan pizza with its "double layers of cheese and toppings all the way to the edge."  My voice shifts into a slightly seductive tone as I try my best to convince you to try this pan pizza masterpiece.  It's my job.  It's what I do. In the "zone" I never really gave it too much thought.  Recently, I've spent more time examining the many facets of me while in the depths of struggle. This slice of irony keeps rising in this introspective study like the fresh-never frozen pan pizza dough I've been talking about.
 
Saturday found me broadcasting at a store where my entire job was to broadcast the many specials you'll find "for a Thanksgiving dinner they'll never forget!"  Four hours speaking about Sister Shubert's Dinner Yeast Rolls, pecan pies, summer sausage and fifty other grocery items along the way.  And most of it doesn't really bother me at all.  I mean really--Thursday will mark my fifth Thanksgiving since I started along this road, my strategy will be the same as the previous four.  I'll add 1,000 calories to my budget and I'll be very mindful of what I allow into the budget and what I won't.  After researching the calories of pecan pie at my first Thanksgiving (first as in--you know what I mean), I made a very clear decision to abstain.  It just wasn't worth the investment.  So talking about the pecan pies wasn't that big of a deal.  But then...well...

I was approached by the manager in my last broadcast hour requesting that I promote the new Blue Bunny Heath Bar and Reese's Ice Cream Cakes.  I'll tell you right now, the Heath Bar Ice Cream Cake---it's like the new recipe department at Blue Bunny was aiming straight at me with this one.  One of my biggest weaknesses over the previous six months of struggle was the small Heath Bar Mix at Braum's Ice Cream and Dairy Store.  Want to read some crazy rationalizations?  It's a small--made with low fat frozen yogurt--only 450 calories-- It started with an occasional small.  With a food addict like me, it never ends as a once every  month or two treat or something reasonable.  Nope.  At my worst, I would order the large--a whopping 700+ calories in one cup.  I would grab it--then look around as I drove away, hoping nobody spotted me getting my fix.  Then, as if I was being followed and trying to shake a tail, I would wind my way through the residential blocks separating me from my apartment--or my dungeon of guilt and shame, if you will.  I will not allow Heath Bar Mixes into my life again.  Not a portion, not a bite, not once every month or two--not ever. I'm finally accepting the deepest, most important truths of my food addiction.  And that is this: There are some things--especially items with concentrated fat and sugar, I must abstain from for the rest of my life.  Period.

Anyway--back to the manager and these Blue Bunny Ice Cream Cakes.  He asked me to promote the free samples and coupons they were giving away to shoppers. He even invited me in to try it so "you can tell 'em how good it is..."  Uh, yeah--no thanks, I can easily do this without having a sample.  It's ice cream and a candy bar--it kind of sells itself.  He also gave me a three dollar off coupon to serve as a reminder for the promotion.

Now, I assure you I didn't go anywhere near the free samples.  I didn't buy one either.  I talked about these new cakes from Blue Bunny and how wonderful it would be for you to have one ready in the freezer when your company arrives this holiday weekend.  I sold it.  I sold it very well.  I almost sold myself.

I couldn't get these cakes off my brain.  During and after a later broadcast at a car dealer, it was on my brain again.  When I finished at the car dealership, I looked down and there it was. The coupon.  And in the name of completely honest transparency--I'll admit...

I wanted one.

I did.  I wanted it bad.  The picture on the coupon promised it would be even dreamier than the frozen yogurt mix Braum's deals from their drive-through.  This is premium ice cream and Heath Bar.

My mind started racing as it tried to find some kind of out, some kind of rational thought that would excuse such a deliberate act of indulgence.  I knew, if that new cake found its way into my apartment, I would destroy it in short time.  And I knew I had to stop and ask for help.

I have friends who will ask why I didn't stop and call them in this moment.  And trust me, my friends--you'll be getting calls like that from me, I'm sure.  Because I'm not throwing away my life over an ice cream cake, a new pan pizza or the sesame chicken from the Chinese Express.

I stopped and said a prayer.  Out loud.  I took a deep breath and headed home.

This isn't easy.  In fact, I find it more challenging than ever.  It reminds me of a wonderful moment I had during my first year of weight loss.  My phone lit up with an "unknown" and I almost didn't answer.  I'm glad I did because it was one of my heroes, Richard Simmons.  We talked for several minutes and I casually mentioned "lusting" over food.  And he replied, "don't we all!"  I didn't fully appreciate what Richard meant until now.

Being strong willed, being in the zone, having weight loss success---all of it doesn't keep us from being human.  And in our own human state of being--enmeshed in our own way of dealing with emotions and circumstances, the allure of escape with food is powerful.

Standing up against this powerful force requires calling upon a higher power and sometimes, simply calling a friend. We can overcome.  We can be equally as powerful in our good choices.  We can arm ourselves with details exclusive to who we are and how we're affected--then navigate the wonderful world of food with a little less fear and a whole lot more knowledge.

I'm getting stronger everyday.  I'm slowly moving toward regaining consistency in my workouts and I also plan on devising a new weigh day schedule to be unveiled in the coming days.

As for the ironic workplace "hazards" mentioned above, I'm okay.  I love what I do for a living and I know I'm very blessed to be able to do what I do.  My dream of writing and speaking more often about weight loss and the powerful dynamics along this road will come true and will be my full time job someday.  Just not today.  In the meantime I'll be the sugary suggestive voice you might hear, doing my best to sell you ice cream cakes and pizzas.  If you're a food addict like me, please feel free to turn down the volume.

Thank you for reading, goodnight and...

Good Choices,
Sean

Day 1,201 The Way We Were and What's Changed: Christmas Weekend Eve

Day 1,201

The Way We Were and What's Changed: Christmas Weekend Eve

Holidays like Thanksgiving and Christmas were always days where my abusive relationship with food faded from obvious and into "normal," or "accepted" behavior. Like a free pass to come out of the corner and just be me, in the name of whatever special date was on the calendar. I didn't have to hide my excess on these special dates because it was/is the norm in our society, and that's why I loved these red letter dates so much. My life revolved around food, so a day where everyone accepted this culinary "celebration" of sorts, was delightful to me. I could just be me--Eating, drinking, and being merry--and then, eating some more, and some more, and...wow, "Sean sure loves those cookies!" Yes, yes I do...and eating a half dozen at a time wasn't anything to hide on this day, because it's what we do. We're celebrating. Pass the pie, please.

I lived for days like this. Pecan pie with whipped cream for breakfast, why not? And the snacks, oh my goodness, the snacks were everywhere! And let's go get more! Can someone say "Cheese ball!!!" Say it with me, "cheeeeeese ball!!!" The port wine or sharp...just get both, and an extra just in case. Give me a sleeve of crackers, a knife, and a cheese ball and watch me delicately spread the joy all over the Ritz...This was living. Egg nog!!! Did we forget the egg nog?? I don't want to hear how insanely ridiculous the calorie count of egg nog is--I can taste every glorious calorie in this thick holiday concoction--ooh, and nutmeg...wow, that's amazingly delicious.

It was normal for me to fantasize about what and how much I would consume. I was planning. My day was: Eat, eat, nap, eat, eat, eat, watch TV, nap, eat some more and pile it high...and hey, who wants this last piece of pecan pie? Too late, it's on my plate now.

I was loaded with holiday cheer, sporting a big smile as I would dollop a giant mound of Cool Whip on my third piece. Okay, my fourth...but seriously, who's counting today? You know what I want? Gravy!!!! Give me a bowl of potatoes and gravy, I'll sip it like a fine wine---wow, love it!!!

In the blur of my accepted, "normal" holiday feasting...I rarely noticed or cared about anything else. Visiting with family and friends...sure, as long as it includes more food! Hey...Uh, You think mom has some more of her prescription Zantac? I hope so! We should pass it around the table--better, let's put out a little Zantac bowl next to the stuffing. Hey--we don't want to feel any pain today--Thank you Zantac 150, we love you!

On the eve of my fourth Christmas after choosing change, I have to ask...What's changed?

What hasn't? I guess I should be more specific.

Q: Will I still enjoy my favorite holiday foods?
A: Yes. But I will, in reasonable portions at appropriate times.

Q: Will I pay more attention to the people or my plate?
A: The people I love. The food on my plate will be good and enough. But I can never get enough of the people I love and cherish. I want to know how they feel, what they're doing these days, what excites them, what troubles them---how do they feel about the changes in their life. These are the important conversations, far greater than, "Who wants to do Redi-Whip shots??" And "Anyone gonna take the leftover gravy? because seriously, that's some heavenly gravy don't ya think? Heck yeah it is...wow, and on those homemade mashed..."

Q: Will I exercise?
A: You know, it's funny. Had you asked that question five years ago or prior, you would have received a puzzled look followed by laughter, followed by a joke or two about how..."the only exercise I'm getting is from walking back and forth to the buffet line!" Now--It's a crucial element of a day like Christmas. A walk. A very simple walk. Something, anything will help aid digestion and make me feel incredible...and if I can recruit other family members to join me---well, that's awesome!!! This Christmas--The Anderson Family Holiday 5K at Boomer Lake in Stillwater is on!!! I wouldn't dream of missing it. Like a tradition---eating, napping, football, and a 5K...

So what's changed?

The focus. The perspective has shifted to the most important joys of the season. I'll still enjoy the tastes I love in a reasonable and portioned way--But above all else, I'll enjoy the people I love in a most wonderful and joyful way. Wow...I can't believe I was missing the most joyful part of past holidays. I didn't know what I was missing, I guess. Family, friends, love, and laughter...Yeah, I'll take three extra helpings, please.

Merry Christmas and,
Good Choices,
Sean

I recently released a couple of videos from the Sikeston, Missouri YMCA speaking event---If you didn't have a chance to watch them on my facebook page--here they are:





My book "Transformation Road" will start shipping on the 30th! I'm thrilled to finally have the book in hand. Well--I'll actually experience that on Wednesday the 28th--having it physically in my hand. I might need tissues...It's been a long time coming, my friend.

Signed first edition copies are available from me directly on my site:
www.transformationroad.com

My first big book signing is scheduled for December 30th from 4-8pm at Brace Books and More in Ponca City, Oklahoma! Very cool!!!

If you haven't sent me a friend request on facebook yet--please do! We have lively discussions nearly everyday concerning various dynamics along this road many of us travel. You can find me here: www.facebook.com/seananderson505

And the special facebook page exclusively for the book is: www.facebook.com/transformationroad

By the way---I just went "live" on Amazon.com!! Yes--very cool---I think I'm officially an author now---because my book is setting in the top 100,000!! Nice start, very nice!
http://www.amazon.com/dp/193782912X/ref=cm_sw_r_fa_dp_FlY8ob1PFVQ5V

Amazon has it listed as "in stock," so theoretically, you might be able to hold it in your hands before I get the chance.