Sunday, October 5, 2014

October 5th, 2014 The Broccoli Video and Sting Gets It

October 5th, 2014 The Broccoli Video and Sting Gets It

I've had an amazing weekend with Heather. Both of us have been rather busy for the most part, with me emceeing at Oktoberfest yesterday and today and her catching up on her business and 1/2 marathon training schedule. She ran over seven miles Saturday while I worked and another four plus this afternoon. I joined her at the trail today, after my emcee duties for a great 2.7 mile brisk walk. It was a good exercise day!

The dinner at the Italian restaurant Friday night further proved to me that if you express your needs and you do it in a very pleasant, friendly way--people will likely bend over backwards to help accommodate those needs. I still can't get over how accommodating they were--actually going to a store to purchase gluten free pasta prior to our arrival. That's above and beyond good customer service. They absolutely have my loyalty. That was incredible.

We enjoyed a nice dinner in this evening. Heather prepared roasted broccoli as a side dish. We got our feet wet with a video! Heather grabbed the camera and gently encouraged me to try broccoli for the very first time in my life. I tried asparagus a long time ago--and it was the same thing--I'd never actually tried it--and then learned that I actually loved asparagus!! So, with this in mind-- it is theoretically possible that a love affair with broccoli could blossom if only I would give it a try. This was the basis of Heather's gentle encouragement in the following video:



I didn't die. That's a plus. Honestly, it wasn't bad. Of course--it didn't lead to me loading up my plate with it, but--I tried it and discovered it wasn't as bad as I thought. What's next? Maybe a salad! 

I'm looking forward to more videos with Heather. Not all of them will be like this one. I believe Heather and I have a good combination of skills and insights--and could present some wonderful videos with practical weight loss and fitness content delivered in fun and entertaining ways. I'm seriously looking forward to doing more!

My Oktoberfest experience this weekend was much better this year. Last year, I was struggling horribly and my weight gain was very noticeable. This year was different--and not just because I've once again lost a significant amount of weight. It was different because I feel very different about myself these days regardless of my weight. Below is a post from my Facebook page at last years event:

 Sean Anderson

First of all, let me state for the record: I believe wholeheartedly in The Four Agreements. The 2nd agreement is my favorite. Never take anything personally. What others do or say is a reflection of them, not me. With a bright smile on my face, I hereby award today's most creative way someone approached me in public to call me out for weight gain: "Sean, you're a shadow of your former self, but you're making a come back!" I give everyone the benefit of the doubt. I think he was genuinely concerned for me, so I thanked him and said I was doing okay. And I am...doing okay. Really.

I wasn't doing okay on October 5th, 2013, really. I wasn't deliberately lying--I was desperately trying to convince myself I was okay--but I clearly wasn't. It's no wonder the gentleman made a comment that day--because I was walking around projecting how I felt about myself on to everything and everyone I encountered.

This weekend was like a 180 degree turnaround. I carried myself with a new level of confidence--a peace and clear understanding of who I am and what I'm all about. I projected a wonderful attitude and positive feeling about me--and regardless of my weight, it was noticed. The weight loss was noticed too, of course--and yes, that feels good too. But more and more, I'm getting compliments that go beyond my appearance--and are brought about simply because I feel good about me on a level I've never known before--and this new perspective and attitude of unconditional self-love is projected very easily because it is a very natural dynamic.

I normally listen to music during my exercise, but today I listened to the TED Talk Radio hour, all about creativity. The talk featured Sting discussing his creativeness and how it works--and what happened when it stopped working and how he rekindled his creativeness. During the interview, he perfectly described what I experienced on my epiphany day, May 15th, 2014. He said that his happiness wasn't dependent on hit records or money or anything like that--his happiness is present within him--a peace he has about who he is and what he's about, and it resides in him regardless of his successes or failures--and this happiness ultimately allows his creativity to flow freely.

I listened to him speak and felt every word, deeply. I knew exactly what he was describing. It was wonderful to hear him say it. For me, it was a conformation of sorts. Sting gets it.

My Tweets today:
















Thank you for reading and your continued support,
Strength,
Sean
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Saturday, October 4, 2014

October 4th, 2014 Emcee at Oktoberfest

October 4th, 2014 Emcee at Oktoberfest

I spent the day as the emcee at Oktoberfest. This is the second year in a row for me to do this--and today, unlike last year, felt amazing. I hadn't come to terms with my regain and relapse a year ago. I was still smiling and saying things like, "I'm on it." I remember writing on facebook October 5th last year, about a guy who approached me and commented directly about my weight gain.
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I didn't have this issue today. In fact, I experienced several compliments today. At least once or twice I caught myself trying to downgrade or disagree with the compliments. I caught it, simply said thank you, and moved on. It is so hard to just accept a compliment sometimes--but it's the best thing to do, simply say thank you and end that part of the conversation. I try real hard not to jump into a 3 minute explanation of how the thing they complimented about could be better.

Oktoberfest is known for its food vendors and I get that, completely. But I honestly didn't feel like I missed a thing, at all. I packed a calorie dense little lunch. I wasn't focused on the food and beer. I was focused on the people and announcements I needed to make throughout the day. I was working and it was good.

The hills on the E.W. Marland Estate provided me quite the workout today. I knew my workout today would be the five hours on my feet walking and climbing hills and stairs all over Oktoberfest. My calorie adjustment from MFP was over 350 calories. That's higher than most regular workout days!

I was very tired when my Oktoberfest MC duties were finished today. I came home, changed and enjoyed dinner out and the Denzel Washington movie, The Equalizer, alongside Heather. I almost passed out in the theater. The wonderful news is: I can sleep in tomorrow. I'm back as the emcee tomorrow at Oktoberfest from noon to 2pm.

My Tweets Today:














Thank you for reading and your support,
Strength,
Sean
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Friday, October 3, 2014

October 3rd, 2014 The Italian Restaurant

October 3rd, 2014 The Italian Restaurant

I dined out this evening with Heather, Amber and KL. The four of us dined at an Italian restaurant. Italian restaurants are tough to navigate. It's not impossible, just a little more difficult than your average restaurant. I called ahead to inquire about their menu options. I was checking to see if they served gluten free pasta. I was told they didn't have any on the menu, but they might have some in the back.

I was put on hold by one person and another picked up the line 20 seconds later. They had it in the back. I replied that we would be there between 6:30 and 7pm.

When we arrived we were seated and approached by our server who explained what happened after my phone call earlier in the afternoon. Upon checking, they found whole wheat pasta was the kind they stored in the back for special requests--not gluten free. But it was okay--because they made a special trip to buy some, especially for us!!  That's amazing service! It was perfect!

My tweets today:










Thank you for reading and your continued support,
Strength,
Sean
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Thursday, October 2, 2014

October 2nd, 2014 Mother Nature Has A Say

October 2nd, 2014 Mother Nature Has A Say

I was in bed at a decent hour last night. I felt good about it. I was poised to get more sleep than I normally do throughout the work week. Then Mother Nature stepped in and reminded me who was really in control of my schedule. My weather radio started blaring just after 11pm. I don't hear it very often these days--but when it sounds, I'm officially activated and must report to the studio for live on air weather coverage.

I did my job and made it back home and in bed a little after 1am last night and then had some trouble falling asleep. I would estimate I fell asleep about 1:40am. I didn't wake with my usual 4:30am alarm. I slept right through and had to have a colleague step in and handle my show until I arrived shortly before 7am.

October starts our second, less powerful severe weather season. It's really short, maybe a few weeks where the changing of the seasons collide and storms pop. It's part of my job to respond when it happens. I'm just happy it doesn't happen very often this time of year.

My food and exercise were both solid today. I really enjoyed my lunch--oh my--check out the tweet below. The only thing that could have made it better: Grilled peppers and onions--but we don't have that option in the studio kitchen at work...yet.

I wanted to write much more tonight. Writing--digging deeper and dissecting the elements that make up this road many of us travel, brings me great joy. It also brings me clarity in my own trek. Unfortunately, I've run out of time tonight. I set myself a deadline and I'm 4 minutes over at the moment. This "deadline" is actually a clever little reward system I've made for me. If I get my stuff done in a timely manner throughout the day, my reward is---I get to write more later and get more sleep!! If I don't get my stuff done--no writing for me and I still get more sleep!! There may be some days where I'm forced to allow the tweets to tell the story of the day. The point is, make better use of the time earlier--write more later, then still get in bed at a decent time. I think it's a solid plan.

My Tweets today:














Thank you for reading and your continued support. Making this blog important and getting back to consistent posting each and every day, is staying true to the name The Daily Diary of A Winning Loser and it's doing wonders for me in so many ways. This is my 163rd daily post in a row since reinstating my commitment to daily updates. I'm proud of this work!
Strength,
Sean
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Wednesday, October 1, 2014

October 1st, 2014 A Redirection Of Focus

October 1st, 2014 A Redirection Of Focus

Things are going very well. I'm losing weight consistently and feeling fantastic. Things are well, not perfect. If I had to identify two things I need to improve, it's the amount of sleep at night and the amount of water I consume each day. Improving both of these numbers will only benefit my health.

I feel like I'm experiencing some breakthroughs with my time management/sleep issues. First of all, it's important for me to note that fortunately, I'm not writing about sleep apnea symptoms at this time, it's all about quantity at this point. I seem to be resting very well during this part of my transformation. I say "this part" because I know from previous experience that I must constantly be aware of how I'm sleeping and breathing and how I feel upon waking and throughout the day. Unfortunately, sleep apnea symptoms can and often do come back, despite weight loss. Right now, I'm enjoying some freedom from it and I sincerely hope and pray it continues for a very long time.

Breakthroughs-- yes. Here's the thing: In regard to the issue of constantly going to bed way too late, I was focusing on the wrong thing. I was focusing on trying to fix the end result instead of focusing on the elements leading to that result. It was frustrating because my focus was "I've got to get to bed earlier and by golly I'm gonna do it!" But then, without changing the elements throughout my day, I would repeat the same thing over and over--even reaching a point I wouldn't complain about it anymore within these writings; trying hard not to mention the issue. My attitude was a no-nonsense, slightly harsh one: If I'm going to continue doing it, then I might as well shut up about it already!!

Yesterday and today--no nap. And I was just fine. I made it through quite well and I'm about to hit the publish button on this one and hit the pillow. The proper focus--and it's something that was probably very obvious to you, was needed earlier in the day. The choices I make at the intersection of my work day and the rest of my day/evening, are the critical ones in need of focus. And it's all about attitude and perspective. I've challenged myself yesterday and today and I've come out on top of it. That feels really good!

This redirection of focus reminds me of the overwhelming feeling some of us have experienced when we're faced with a large weight loss challenge. If our focus is on the "I must lose weight--I've got to lose almost 300 pounds or 200, or 40"--it can seem overwhelming--but if we reel that in and point our focus on the smaller elements--the one day, one choice at a time approach, pretty soon we realize we're actually doing it--the smaller focus on the supporting elements needing our attention make this big, sometimes overwhelming challenge, totally doable. We don't have to figure out the big thing all at once. We figure out the small things and suddenly the big thing changes into something we can handle.

I had a long work day today that took the lions share of my afternoon and then a recording session this evening for a voice-over project. I made sure to enjoy dinner before the session and get a good two mile walk in immediately after.

I've had a meatless day. I don't know how often I do this because I honestly haven't paid much attention. It stuck out to me today because I was debating on adding some sirloin tip steak atop my pasta, then I added the calories, eventually deciding it wasn't needed. Interesting.

This focus on time management is important to me for a variety of reasons. I have two big projects on the horizon, an audio meditations project and book number two--plus I have the very strong desire to get focused on a YouTube series with my girlfriend, Heather.  Proper time management is going to become even more critical, quickly.

My Tweets today:












Thank you for reading and your continued support,
Strength,
Sean
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Tuesday, September 30, 2014

September 30th, 2014 A Difference Maker Day

September 30th, 2014 A Difference Maker Day

I opened my eyes this morning a little after 5am. My radio alarm clock was playing my radio station softly, not alarmingly. This explains why I slept an extra 40 minutes this morning. It did start me in a rush and as it turns out, the extra 40 minutes might have been a difference maker.

Today was right on time despite the late start and the frantic rush to the studio at 6am. I slept 5 hours and although I needed more, that's still on average, an hour more--and sometimes 1.5 hours more than I typically get at night. I say "at night" because I often supplement my sleep with daytime naps. The problem with daytime naps is obvious: It pushes everything back, I end up getting to bed super late and then the pattern repeats again and again. Last night's 5 hours might have been a difference maker.

I didn't think I could do it. Between 1 and 2pm, right before calling it a workday, my eyes starting getting super heavy. I felt like I could have slept for hours right there in the studio with the mic in my face and the headphones on. There was a moment where I told myself, you have to nap when you get home!! But then I got up and started moving around. I didn't go for coffee--I just started moving around. I had some errands to run after work, I needed to pay some bills--stop at the bank, those type of things...and I did. And at some point I made the decision that there wouldn't be an afternoon nap.

I decided to get home, take care of some business online--change, fix a Shakeology shake, drink it while my phone charged--then head to the YMCA. Oh, by the way-- I stopped at Sonic on the way home for ice and a banana. It's probably the healthiest order I've ever shouted into that little speaker-microphone intercom thingy. I likely confused the kids inside: "Did he say ice cream with banana?" "No, man--I think he said a bag of ice and a banana--you better double check, repeat his order." Yes-- a bag of ice and a single banana, please! I did notice a few of the items on the menu--wow. I grabbed my ice and banana from the carhop, told him to keep the 70 cents change and peeled out of there quickly. 

Honestly--it wasn't tempting being there, at all. I love what I'm doing, I love what I'm eating, I love how I feel and I love me. I'm content; downright happy. I do not feel the need to comfort myself from indescribable and hard to explain feelings with the new waffle cone sundae. The urge isn't there. The compulsion isn't there. The clarity is there--and it clearly shows me how wonderful life can be when I'm making what one of our weekly conference call support group members calls "righteous food choices!" I feel great about me and my choices. And I refuse to trade this feeling for anything.

I left the house for the YMCA and the elliptical machine. On my way, I dialed up the little Mexican place down the street from the Y to order dinner. With my conference call tonight--I decided I wasn't cooking. I ordered the Hawaiian Fajitas without most of the things included in the order. I didn't want the flour tortillas, beans, rice, or their guacamole. I forgot to say "no cheese," but it turns out they didn't include very much. I asked for three plain corn taco shells instead and a side of lettuce. Since I declined most everything that comes with the fajitas, they charged me nearly four dollars less than the usual price! I told them to wait a bit and I would pick it up after my workout. I walked into the restaurant and was greeted with, "How was the workout amigo?" I smiled big, "It was good, very good!"

I picked up the fajitas and headed straight for the neighborhood grocery store on the South side of town. I ran in and grabbed some fruit and water, then straight home with just enough time to put dinner on a plate and eat before my 7pm conference call. I was in a groove at this point--right on time!

I proved something to myself today. I proved that sometimes when I think there isn't any way I can go on without a nap--I probably need to get up and move around a little and then convince myself of what it is I need to do. Sometimes a nap may actually be the healthiest choice. Not today, though. I felt energized enough to get things done. I powered through my day and made it just fine. I wasn't whipped during my workout either--it was a really good workout! I pushed it well and feel great about making the decision I made to stay up and get things done. Now I can get more rest. I'm getting to bed even earlier and I'll see what 6 to 6.5 hours feels like! This is real progress in the sleep department.

And these goals we have, you know it's not about perfection, it's about progress--and when I can see the progress and feel it too, like today's experiences, I must smile--because this is what it's all about.

My Tweets today:




















Thank you for reading and your continued support,
Strength,
Sean
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Monday, September 29, 2014

September 29th, 2014 Routines

September 29th, 2014 Routines

Routine is a big thing for me. I have set routines, habits let's call them, and when those are focused on good things--it works very well. I've very much fallen into some nice routines with food. Many of the "rules" I abide by are not written anywhere--they're just kept, by routine--by habit. Ordering water in a restaurant, it's become a regular and very easy habit--very automatic. Once a month or so, I might order an unsweet tea, but really--it's less than that, maybe once every few months. Water is my restaurant drink order 98% of the time.

I've developed some habits with food, too. My eggs in the morning. My love of bean tostadas for lunch. And my Mexican food dependency is obvious. 

I enjoyed dinner out with my daughter and her boyfriend this evening. I let them pick the place because if they leave it up to me--they know exactly where we'll end up: At that little Mexican place that does the Hawaiian Fajitas. Oh my--how I love those things--or just fajitas in general...love them. 

My habits usually serve a purpose, don't all? The Mexican food thing is a thing because it tastes good to me, but even more of a reason is the fact that it's so easy to adjust the calories up or down depending on how it's ordered or made at home. I can have a nearly 700 calorie fajita dinner--or slightly over 400 calories, simply by making a few adjustments. I like that kind of flexibility. And I like being creative--and I think I like flirting with things that look like salads, without fully admitting to eating one.

Habits within relationships are tough to break. And as my relationship with Heather grows, I'm trying my best to not revert back to old relationship habits or base everything off of old experiences and expectations.

My exercise habits have been fairly simple. And I don't mean that in a good way. I mean, simple--as in, I'm fully aware that I'm capable of doing more. The old excuse that I'm somehow trying to protect myself from injury or sudden death doesn't fly anymore. Maybe so at 500 pounds--not so much 200 pounds smaller. But it's that routine of habit that keeps me doing just enough.

Despite it all--or rather, thanks to it all, I'm losing weight consistently. So I can't say what I'm doing isn't working--it is, but I must be willing to expand my focus some--branch out and try new things, commit to harder workouts, like weight lifting, and realize I'll be okay. I know I will be okay. 

My next weigh day will likely (hopefully-optimistically) take me into what is commonly known at Twoterville. I think that's what they call it. And it'll be a sweet descent into the 290's after getting all the way up to the 390's during relapse/regain.

I'm feeling really good these days. My workout today was really nice. I did the cycling class at the YMCA. For some reason it isn't registering with fitbit as good as my elliptical workouts or even my 5K brisk walks, which is kind of puzzling to me. Oh well--it's working none the less. And I'm super grateful for that fact.

My Tweets today:















Thank you for reading and your support,
Strength,
Sean
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Sunday, September 28, 2014

September 28th, 2014 Shirt Is Too Big

September 28th, 2014 Shirt Is Too Big

I'm sad to report that Heather and I ran out of time on the video this weekend. My apologies for mentioning it last night--and then not getting it done today! The next time I write about it will be when we have content to post!

It was a very busy day. I met Heather's father, step mom of 27 years, brother and sister in law and their 5 year old son. I was a little nervous going in--but once they arrived, it was all good. We had a great visit--even shared several hearty laughs. It couldn't have gone better, in my opinion.

I return to my normal work schedule tomorrow after having a weekend off. I feel great about my food and exercise choices this weekend. I hit the Y Friday for the midday spin class--and that felt great. I had an off day from exercise yesterday, but it hit good tonight--even though I was wanting to call it good. Heather said I was pushing her--but she was really pushing me. Had she offered a hint of resistance to our workout tonight--I would have quickly agreed and bailed. But she didn't. And we both did well. She ran and I walked fast. I did maybe 2.5 miles--maybe. She ran 4 miles. We both felt good about it!

Once again-- I promise not to mention the video series again until we start posting! Didn't expect the day to be so packed. It got away from us. I sincerely appreciate your patience and understanding.

I'm feeling really good. I bought a new shirt yesterday, in advance of this meeting with Heather's dad. I bought a 2XLT. It is way too big. I needed a 1XLT at the most, at least in this particular brand. I wore it anyway. It is a strange thing how our brains are the last to catch up with our changing sizes.

My Tweets Today:






















Thank you for reading and your continued support,
Strength,
Sean
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Saturday, September 27, 2014

September 27th, 2014 Taking A Day Off

September 27th, 2014 Taking A Day Off

I've really enjoyed today. I took the day off. I didn't have any location broadcasts, I didn't have anything at all I needed to do or get done, I just had to relax and enjoy my Saturday. Days like these are rare!

When I say I "took the day off," it means I didn't work and I didn't intentionally exercise--although Heather and I did a lot of walking today. Fitbit gave me a tiny bit of calorie adjustment. It wasn't the 700 like yesterday--but it was something and anything was okay with me.

When it comes to my food and abstinence from sugar, there's no such thing as a "day off." This is simply how I am and how I choose to live. I must be this aware and absolute about my commitment because of the elements of addiction. If I didn't have "a history," then I suppose I could take a day off from everything--but I will not allow it. And it's not something I miss. The peace, calm and happiness I feel today cannot be made better by any indulgence or excess. I truly believed otherwise for the longest time. I feel better than ever without all the excess--very interesting!

It's no big secret: I love Mexican food or "Tex-Mex!" I managed to work corn tortillas into every meal today. I didn't do it on purpose, I swear! It just happened that way. It was a delicious day, for sure!

Our plans for me to meet Heather's dad today have been moved to tomorrow, early afternoon.

Looking forward to our first YouTube video together! It'll be so much fun! We have plans to do a couple videos, early evening-- tomorrow.

It was a great idea to take some time off this weekend. The upcoming weekend schedules will be busy in October! I look forward to writing more another night and I really look forward to sharing a YouTube video with you tomorrow night!

My Tweets today:














Thank you for reading and your support,
Strength,
Sean
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Friday, September 26, 2014

September 26th, 2014 Peace and Calm

September 26th, 2014 Peace and Calm

The late night in Stillwater last night did not make for a very good start today. I was tired. I managed to get what work I needed to get done, done--and leave the studio early. I had a decision to make--go home and nap in order to be well rested for my location broadcast at the Thompson Square concert later or go to the YMCA for a midday spin class--then come home for lunch and a nap.

I made the right choice. I did spin at 11:30am because I knew if I didn't, I wouldn't get a workout in today. I wanted a good workout today. I needed it, not just physically but mentally. My Fitbit calorie adjustment today was 700 calories! I feel really good about this!

I feel so wonderful while out in public these days. It goes beyond the slimmer appearance--it's an inner confidence, a calm I've never fully realized before the last several months. I carry myself differently in public. I hold my head high, I don't avoid people and I allow my natural self to be--just be, me...naturally. I don't automatically try to make everyone laugh. I'm perfectly content with just being still. It's a peace and calm.

This peace and calm carries over to my food and exercise too.

I had a special broadcast from a big concert tonight. I had planned on finding something for dinner at the venue but quickly abandoned that plan when I realized there wasn't anything on their limited menu that I wanted to accept. And it was fine. I was okay. It was a late dinner, for sure--but my breakfast for dinner was over the top delicious! Check out the Tweet below!

Heather traveled to me last weekend and I'm traveling to her this weekend. I look forward to spending some more time with her as we get to know one another more. She met my mom last weekend. Tomorrow (Saturday), I get to meet her dad. Wish me luck!

I'm hoping Heather and I can make some time to do our first YouTube video together at some point this weekend. If so, it'll be posted Sunday night! Stay tuned!

My Tweets today:
















Thank you for reading and your support,
Strength,
Sean
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