Showing posts with label food tweets. Show all posts
Showing posts with label food tweets. Show all posts

Wednesday, November 19, 2014

November 19th, 2014 Pieces Get Lost

November 19th, 2014 Pieces Get Lost

Exploring last night's blog and taking it from my brain to the screen was really good for me. This is why I highly recommend keeping a journal, blogging--something enabling you to get those thoughts and ideas on paper or virtual paper, then working through them like a puzzle--putting them together. When the pieces seem to fit, big epiphanies can happen. We're talking transformative stuff, my friend. If I try to keep it in my head, pieces get lost too easily.

For me, writing yesterday's post brought up several examples in my past where I didn't allow my emotions to run their course. The biggest example for me was the loss of my little brother, Shane, who died unexpectedly at the age of twenty-four. It's been thirteen years since his passing and I still have a very hard time with it all, especially when I hear one of the songs we mutually enjoyed. The more I thought about it, the bigger the list became--and all I can do, is acknowledge and move forward, and when the opportunity to feel comes up again, I'm sure I'll be less opposed to running the other way and more willing to embrace the natural and cleansing process of my emotions.

One of the things I didn't write about was how the emotional eating, for me, started first--and somewhere along the way, my brain was trained to react in certain ways--and that's when I added the element of addiction to the mix. The combination of emotional eating and food addiction seems to be quite the tag team champion in this battle many of us face. But it doesn't mean we can't take the title back. We can have a long and successful run as our own champion! 

My brain had a very hard time shutting down last night. Even with the melatonin--I laid awake until after 1am. Getting up three and a half hours later was a challenge. This sleep deficit refused to be ignored, so as soon as 2pm hit, I left the studio and came home for a good nap. Yeah...it was a little too good. I slept like a rock--good, quality, deep sleep--you know, the kind where you wake up and you're disoriented, thinking perhaps you overslept the next day when the clock says 5:45pm, but in your fogginess you were convinced it was AM--and panic ensues long enough for reality to become clear...then you're relieved, but now you realize it'll be a challenge to go to bed later... Yeah, all that.

I decided to make the most of my wide awake evening by catching up on some emails and a couple of phone calls to friends I needed to call back, then cooking a fabulous dinner, followed by a nice workout at the YMCA.

I'm feeling well. I'm nice and calm, relaxed and confident, thinking clearly and taking it one day at a time, as always. I'm sticking very close to the fundamentals of my plan, as if my personal hazard lights are flashing, signaling me to pay close attention and take extra precautions to protect my path.  
My Tweets today:
















Thank you for reading and your continued support,
Strength,
Sean
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Sunday, November 9, 2014

November 9th, 2014 I'm All About That Bass, No Trouble

November 9th, 2014 I'm All About That Bass, No Trouble

Finding the rhythm of this journey is nice. I know I've found my rhythm when I can have life hand me a stressful/emotional situation and I can handle it without sacrificing the integrity of my plan. It goes back to the philosophy about the plan running "in the background" while life happens in the foreground.

As long as they run parallel to one another, then neither life or the food and exercise plan get in the other's way. If I choose to not handle life--and I relegate it to the background, there's horrible consequences--and if I allow the plan to run in the foreground, it will undoubtedly get in the way of life.

It's a rhythm and a balance we find, different for each of us, and imperative for success.

For me, it's a bass line playing in the background. It's smooth and calm, it's wholesome and fun, it's rhythmic and constant, there to remind me why it's important for me to keep the rhythm.

Because I could easily get out of rhythm, out of sync. Oh yes, I could totally start moving to a different rhythm. And when I start to get out of rhythm is when I must turn up the volume of the bass line--letting it thump, and jumping back in sync. 

Turning up the volume might mean reaching out for support a little more than I already do, it might mean getting out and into some good exercise, and it might mean preparing a good, calorie friendly meal at home. Today, I...

...made three meals at home. I exercised well. I reached out for support. Yep, I turned up the volume, slightly. 

I pay close attention to the bass line rhythm of my plan and I follow it come what may. Instead of abandoning the rhythm when things in the foreground get challenging, I embrace the rhythm a little more. I dance a little closer, a little tighter and I find peace and comfort. I'm all about that bass, 'bout that bass, no trouble. ;)

I had some mushrooms and sirloin tip steak that really needed to be cooked today, so I made them fit into lunch and dinner. Oh my goodness, these two dishes were over the top good!! I get excited when I get creative in the kitchen! See the tweets below!

I had a great exercise weekend! I did a nice 5K yesterday and another tonight. Two days, two 5K's--and I feel fantastic. 

I'm headed to bed tonight with 1,690 calories consumed, 432 calories burned during my 5K--and my net calories after exercise at 1,258. To me, that's staying in the groove and keeping the rhythm quite nicely.

My Tweets Today:


















Thank you for reading and your continued support,
Strength,
Sean
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Saturday, November 8, 2014

November 8th, 2014 Letting The Tweets Tell

November 8th, 2014 Letting The Tweets Tell

I'm letting the Tweets tell the tale tonight. It's late. Goodnight!

My Tweets Today:


























Thank you for reading and your continued support,
Strength,
Sean
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Sunday, November 2, 2014

November 2nd, 2014 The Family Visit

November 2nd, 2014 The Family Visit

I enjoyed not setting an alarm as I hit the pillow early this morning. I almost typed "last night," but really--it was this morning a little after 3am--and it felt like a little after 4am because of the time change. I slept almost seven hours and it seemed to work for me. I can't even begin to formulate the words worthy of expressing the level of gratitude I have for good sleep. After going through my sleep apnea experiences, to now be free of them, is incredible. Of course--it could come back--that's a very real possibility, but for now, I'll give thanks for the blessing of quality sleep.

The plan for today included a trip to my hometown for a birthday get together and visit with my aunt and uncle who are visiting from Michigan. It's been a year and a half since I've had the chance to visit with them. Okay--that's not entirely true. I had an entire week a year ago to make the short trip to Stillwater for a visit, but I didn't want them to see me in my condition at that time. When I told my uncle how bad it was before turning this ship around, he commented "That's why you didn't make it down to see me last year, because of your weight gain." Yep. Uncle Sig is a very smart man.

It was a good family visit. Aunt and Uncle got to meet Noah for the first time, and he stole their hearts, as expected!! And as he does with everyone!

Uncle Sig isn't familiar with what I do these days--so when he noticed me snapping a photo of my food he immediately called me crazy. Aunt Jean corrected him quickly as I smiled at the comment. It honestly doesn't bother me one bit to be called "crazy" or "obsessive" or whatever--what I do is working for me very well! I explained to him how everything I've consumed in almost 7 months is photographed, calorie counted and tweeted--and available to see on my Twitter page. It might be considered "extreme" to some, but I make it fun and enjoyable. AND--it's had a monumental positive effect on my food selections, not to mention the care I take in preparing what I enjoy eating. It's not for everyone, that's for sure--but for me, it's crazy brilliant.

It was a good visit--and not just because I've lost a lot of weight this year. That was a part of it, I'm sure--I mean, how could it not be? I avoided them last year because of my weight gain and how I allowed the gain to make me feel. But now, so many changes have happened and I feel great about me regardless of my weight. It truly comes shining through in all I say and do.

My favorite part of the trip was riding in the backseat of Amber's car with Noah. We had a wonderful conversation of jibberish on the way back. I love that little guy. We started playing "Make this sound" and he's really good at this game!

My Tweets today:
















Thank you for reading and your continued support,
Strength,
Sean
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Thursday, October 30, 2014

October 30th, 2014 Trying Different

October 30th, 2014 Trying Different

I do get into routines and habits. I like certain things and I seem to be able to enjoy them again and again without tiring too much. In the spirit of variety, I made a conscious effort to try something different. I ended up having a day where I didn't consume tortillas in any form--no chips, no tostada or taco shells and only one serving of cheese. I didn't eat any avocado today, either. I'm not saying my usual "go-to" menu items are bad--and believe me, I'm sure I'll have some tomorrow, I just decided to try some different things today. It was a great food day. I was very satisfied.

Remember those sugar free cupcakes? Eight of them remain in my fridge, untouched. I enjoyed my one cupcake and I haven't felt compelled to have another. I could, easily--I mean really, it's 155 calories and sugar free, I just haven't. It's interesting to me because if these were regular sugar laden cupcakes, and I wasn't sugar free--I would have devoured more, likely the rest of them. It's as if my "inner brain" knows there isn't sugar to be found in them, so they're not an attractive option. These cupcakes are really good, don't get me wrong--they just don't contain the drug my brain sniffs out like a police dog.

I enjoyed a fantastic workout tonight on the elliptical at the YMCA (speaking of routines). It's really past time for me to expand my workouts to include weights. I've said I would--almost did--said I was ready, then backed off so many times--and it's getting ridiculous! It's too easy to just do what I've been doing. I enjoy what I do. But just like changing up my food today, I must be willing to try different in the exercise department.

My Tweets Today:












Thank you for reading and your continued support,
Strength,
Sean
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Tuesday, October 21, 2014

October 21st, 2014 Finding Our Normal

October 21st, 2014 Finding Our Normal

One of the things I've given a lot of thought to lately is, what does it mean to be "normal?" I've concluded "normal" is a relative term. Your normal isn't my normal. We're all different.
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This guy wanted to be normal. He wanted to have a normal relationship with food. He had fixed in his mind a vision of what it meant for him to be normal, you know, like people who are of normal weight with normal eating behaviors who wear normal clothing. To him, in order to be normal, he had to simply eat less and exercise more, yeah--that would be some kind of normal. 

What this guy failed to recognize is, he was already normal. He was his normal. In order to achieve weight loss success, the perspective on "normal" had to change. It couldn't be someone else's normal, it had to be his own kind of normal. He could mimic someone else's normal for a while, but eventually his normal would override the abnormal impersonation of normal--and everything would go back to being his normal. 

Okay--enough of the third person--it's annoying. What I had to embrace was my normal. I had to let go of the idea that I wasn't normal because in that, I was constantly suggesting I wasn't good enough or something was wrong with me. I am good enough and there's nothing wrong with me--as long as I'm not trying to be someone else's normal.

My normal is: I'm addicted to sugar and if consumed, it triggers bio-chemical reactions that send me searching for more and more--and not just sugary items--I'm talking loads of carbs and high fat-- it's on!! Nothing trips my trigger like sugar--it is my normal. So I abstain, one day at a time--and it's my normal and I'm okay. 

I enjoy a drink of alcohol on rare occasion, perhaps once or twice, maybe three times a year. It doesn't negatively effect me beyond a slight feeling of intoxication. It doesn't trip anything for me. That's my normal. I have close friends with decades of sobriety, who--if they tried to mimic my normal, it would ruin their lives for who knows how long, maybe even kill them before they found recovery again. That's their normal. So they abstain, one day at a time, it's their normal and they're okay.

Embracing my normal is imperative to my success. My normal means that I take extraordinary care with food. My normal means no sugar. My normal means I remain active in seeking and offering support. My normal requires my attention and a rock solid commitment in doing what I do for my recovery. I fiercely protect it and never apologize for it.

I know many people who will enjoy their share of Halloween candy in a couple of weeks and it'll not be a big deal at all. That's their normal. If I tried to mimic their normal, you would witness a much different turnaround on these pages.

The biggest key for me to be my best, requires me to embrace and accept my normal, not someone else's. I hope and pray I spend the rest of my life celebrating my normal. Because if I do, I can't lose. 

This is what "finding what works for you" is all about. Sometimes that statement is misunderstood to mean "Find the plan or procedure" that works for you. I'm suggesting that "finding what works" for you and me, starts with honestly defining our personal normal, then fashioning a plan that gives us what we need.

I no longer want to be some idealized version of "normal," I just want to be mine.
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For some reason, I was feeling a bit off this morning and I reached for some snacks. I'm not a big snack guy, but as you'll see in the below tweets, I had a mid-morning snack and a late morning snack. It's uncharacteristic of me. It isn't necessarily bad--I mean, really, eating several small meals a day is a good thing. I simply had to stop and acknowledge my reasons for reaching for those two snacks wasn't because I necessarily needed it at the time--it was likely because I was stressed and tired. I kept it within my budget. I made sure it remained in my food plan. And it was okay. But it was important for me to understand what was happening and how I was reacting.

I had a busy afternoon at work followed by a grocery trip and dinner preparations before the Tuesday night support group conference call. It was a great call with 100% attendance seven weeks in--that's a big deal!

My workout tonight was very nice. I've been focusing on the music more and more and when I do--when I allow myself to get lost in it, I always get an amazing workout. When my workout falls short is usually when I share that time with all of the thoughts and concerns of the day. Gifting myself that workout time and deciding to "clear my mental schedule" for its duration, is extremely effective.

My Tweets today:






















Thank you for reading and your continued support,
Strength,
Sean
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Thursday, October 9, 2014

October 9th, 2014 Enjoying Our Food

October 9th, 2014 Enjoying Our Food

Weather coverage has kept me up late tonight. The weather hasn't been anything severe, just light to moderate and at times heavy. Around here, even when it's not severe, it's important for us to be on the air saying it isn't, because it certainly can sound that way at times! If it's important for us to be on the air when severe weather is threatening, it's also important to be a voice of calm reassurance when it isn't.

I had a great food day. I was creative and I love it when I get creative in the kitchen! One of the things I didn't focus on enough in yesterday's post was the importance of eating foods you enjoy. If you're eating what you enjoy anyway, it makes it much easier to be consistent! If we choose to choke down things we can't stand as a means to lose weight, but we're miserable in the process, we're less likely to remain consistent. This "eat what you like and nothing you don't" point seems to be an obvious one, but is sometimes overlooked in our pursuit of fast results.

Once again, it was a busy day. I did have a late morning to early afternoon nap in the middle--simply because of two things: We were short handed at work and needed someone from on-air/production to stay late in the afternoon and I was anticipating the weather coverage--which did happen, keeping me up very late. I headed back to work at 1pm and stayed for the 2nd half of my day.

I'm on the board of directors of the arts and humanities council and tonight we were hosting a big concert at the Hutchins Memorial Auditorium. Since I'm the radio guy on the board, I get elected to make announcements before the fabulous concerts. We had a good crowd tonight for the Tulsa Playboys! I kept getting positive reactions about my weight loss. One gentleman approached me after my first time on stage tonight, saying: "Sean, I listen everyday and I remember you when you were at your heaviest. You're looking incredible, man!" That was awesome. 

 I also remember when I was at my heaviest. It's throwback Thursday--Here's a "before" picture from years and years ago!
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I naturally do a better job when I'm feeling confident and I certainly had an abundance of confidence this evening. I was wearing a pull over type shirt with a collar-- no over-shirt. The extra amount of compliments was because I was actually wearing something that fit properly for where I am, today.

I covered some weather at the studio--then took a quick break to run to the YMCA and get my workout in before they closed. I barely made it--but I made it, and although I was struggling some against going, I'm glad I did. It didn't take long to get into the right mindset and groove where I get a dose of energy that pushes me even harder than before. I returned to work post-workout for a while--and now I'm home and headed to bed. Goodnight! Or--if you're reading this Friday morning--Good morning!

 My Tweets today:
















Thank you for reading and you wonderful support,
Strength,
Sean
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Wednesday, October 8, 2014

October 8th, 2014 If Consistency is Key, What Are The Keys To Consistency?

October 8th, 2014 If Consistency is Key, What Are The Keys To Consistency?

I believe we get what we give. The more we put into something, the more we get out of it. I want consistent results, so I give myself extraordinary care, consistently. It isn't always easy. It's certainly not as simple as saying. "I'm going to be consistent from here on out!" Don't we wish it were that easy?

As I analyze the fundamentals of what I've been doing in my recovery mode, I realize I've built a system that works for me. It's a system of accountability, support and open communication. In relapse, two of these three things were non-existent. I shut down my accountability and isolated, I may have communicated some, but not about my struggles. The support was always there, but largely ignored, by my own choosing, so it wasn't effective.

Being consistent during this turnaround from the regain has required me to elevate my accountability. My Twitter feed pictures of everything I eat has been an invaluable accountability tool. I was resistant to the idea at first, fearing it would be a huge hassle. It's actually a complete pleasure and it's inspired me to eat better! I take my time in choosing, preparing and eating my food. I enjoy it more--all because of this twitter feed. I've made it important.

I've recognized and accepted support in many forms. Your readership is support, your comments are support and I've established a list of people I know I can text or call anytime, night or day, if I'm needing someone to talk me through a tough time, or talk me out of a drive-through. I'm loving the relationship Heather and I have developed because it is full of support for one another. She is all about living a lifestyle conducive to weight loss and maintenance and she totally gets me, on so many levels. 

Open and honest communication--basically, the opposite of isolating, is crucial to my consistency. In the dark depths of relapse, nobody knew how bad it had become because I was alone when I did what I was doing with food. It was my secret trip to the ice cream place every night before bed. Nobody knew, not my daughters, mom or anyone close to me. I was consistently in "hiding." Now, if those feelings/compulsions to binge show up--I pick up the phone and reach out for "spot support." Gerri Helms has been there for me on numerous occasions. And I have others who are ready if I need them. And I will, I'm sure--at some point. On the other hand--I'm also available for them, anytime.

Keeping things simple is a major part of the foundation making my consistency possible. I don't get too technical. I don't crunch the numbers or get into confusing plans or patterns. I simply eat as well as I can and desire and I make time for exercise. I have some personal food rules, of course: No sugar, I avoid trigger foods, measuring is very important and proper portion control is a must. I make sure I'm eating things I truly enjoy. And I'm not afraid to be repetitious in my selections, especially with breakfast and lunch. If I get tired of something, I'll naturally shift to other things. If I don't get tired of it and I enjoy it, then what's not good about that?

Simple, simple, simple...It is crucial to maintaining consistency. We're the ones who make the rules--if we keep the rules simple to follow--then our chances of maintaining consistency goes up dramatically. And as we develop along the way--we can get as fancy and as specialized as we want and need, when we're ready. It's a natural evolution of good choices. Not a sudden and dramatic change where we expect to be a completely different person as soon as we wake up on our pre-determined start day.

My focus on consistency isn't long term. It's today. I want to make today a good day. I want to hit the pillow tonight, knowing that I gave it my best shot--my honest to goodness, best. Not perfect, mind you--rather, the best I could do today. I want to do that again tomorrow. It feels good!! We gain momentum in either direction, good or bad. Good choices lead to more of the same and bad choices lead to more bad choices.

Big time accomplishments are not done all at once. It's a collection of much smaller accomplishments, each of which contribute in a positive way to the bigger goal ahead. I'm setting small, doable goals--and hitting them square with everything I can. And I'm getting back some wonderful results in return. You get what you give, it's a universal truth.
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Today was another long and busy day. I made sure to get my workout in early. The later it gets, the less likely I am to get a good workout. The earlier the workout, the better the workout--that's how it is for me, anyway.

Tonight, I stopped in to visit with my daughter Courtney and my grandson Noah. I'm so proud of Courtney. She's doing so well and is such a wonderful mom. She's working hard, taking good care and giving Noah the wonderful attention he deserves. Her job at the Child Development Center is perfect, because Noah goes too, right along with her. She doesn't handle Noah's class--so it's like she's dropping him off at daycare and going to work--and the distance between her work and Noah's care is literally right down the hall.

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I love these two! Adorable!!! (Proud dad and grandfather here!)

My Tweets today:
**Special note: Time stamp on tweets do not always reflect when the food was consumed. I take the photo immediately before consuming. If I'm running late, generally busy or with people, or better, in a meeting like today at lunch, I'll wait to enter the details in MFP and Tweet the tweet.***
















Thank you for reading and your continued support,
Strength,
Sean
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Saturday, October 4, 2014

October 4th, 2014 Emcee at Oktoberfest

October 4th, 2014 Emcee at Oktoberfest

I spent the day as the emcee at Oktoberfest. This is the second year in a row for me to do this--and today, unlike last year, felt amazing. I hadn't come to terms with my regain and relapse a year ago. I was still smiling and saying things like, "I'm on it." I remember writing on facebook October 5th last year, about a guy who approached me and commented directly about my weight gain.
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I didn't have this issue today. In fact, I experienced several compliments today. At least once or twice I caught myself trying to downgrade or disagree with the compliments. I caught it, simply said thank you, and moved on. It is so hard to just accept a compliment sometimes--but it's the best thing to do, simply say thank you and end that part of the conversation. I try real hard not to jump into a 3 minute explanation of how the thing they complimented about could be better.

Oktoberfest is known for its food vendors and I get that, completely. But I honestly didn't feel like I missed a thing, at all. I packed a calorie dense little lunch. I wasn't focused on the food and beer. I was focused on the people and announcements I needed to make throughout the day. I was working and it was good.

The hills on the E.W. Marland Estate provided me quite the workout today. I knew my workout today would be the five hours on my feet walking and climbing hills and stairs all over Oktoberfest. My calorie adjustment from MFP was over 350 calories. That's higher than most regular workout days!

I was very tired when my Oktoberfest MC duties were finished today. I came home, changed and enjoyed dinner out and the Denzel Washington movie, The Equalizer, alongside Heather. I almost passed out in the theater. The wonderful news is: I can sleep in tomorrow. I'm back as the emcee tomorrow at Oktoberfest from noon to 2pm.

My Tweets Today:














Thank you for reading and your support,
Strength,
Sean
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Thursday, October 2, 2014

October 2nd, 2014 Mother Nature Has A Say

October 2nd, 2014 Mother Nature Has A Say

I was in bed at a decent hour last night. I felt good about it. I was poised to get more sleep than I normally do throughout the work week. Then Mother Nature stepped in and reminded me who was really in control of my schedule. My weather radio started blaring just after 11pm. I don't hear it very often these days--but when it sounds, I'm officially activated and must report to the studio for live on air weather coverage.

I did my job and made it back home and in bed a little after 1am last night and then had some trouble falling asleep. I would estimate I fell asleep about 1:40am. I didn't wake with my usual 4:30am alarm. I slept right through and had to have a colleague step in and handle my show until I arrived shortly before 7am.

October starts our second, less powerful severe weather season. It's really short, maybe a few weeks where the changing of the seasons collide and storms pop. It's part of my job to respond when it happens. I'm just happy it doesn't happen very often this time of year.

My food and exercise were both solid today. I really enjoyed my lunch--oh my--check out the tweet below. The only thing that could have made it better: Grilled peppers and onions--but we don't have that option in the studio kitchen at work...yet.

I wanted to write much more tonight. Writing--digging deeper and dissecting the elements that make up this road many of us travel, brings me great joy. It also brings me clarity in my own trek. Unfortunately, I've run out of time tonight. I set myself a deadline and I'm 4 minutes over at the moment. This "deadline" is actually a clever little reward system I've made for me. If I get my stuff done in a timely manner throughout the day, my reward is---I get to write more later and get more sleep!! If I don't get my stuff done--no writing for me and I still get more sleep!! There may be some days where I'm forced to allow the tweets to tell the story of the day. The point is, make better use of the time earlier--write more later, then still get in bed at a decent time. I think it's a solid plan.

My Tweets today:














Thank you for reading and your continued support. Making this blog important and getting back to consistent posting each and every day, is staying true to the name The Daily Diary of A Winning Loser and it's doing wonders for me in so many ways. This is my 163rd daily post in a row since reinstating my commitment to daily updates. I'm proud of this work!
Strength,
Sean
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Wednesday, October 1, 2014

October 1st, 2014 A Redirection Of Focus

October 1st, 2014 A Redirection Of Focus

Things are going very well. I'm losing weight consistently and feeling fantastic. Things are well, not perfect. If I had to identify two things I need to improve, it's the amount of sleep at night and the amount of water I consume each day. Improving both of these numbers will only benefit my health.

I feel like I'm experiencing some breakthroughs with my time management/sleep issues. First of all, it's important for me to note that fortunately, I'm not writing about sleep apnea symptoms at this time, it's all about quantity at this point. I seem to be resting very well during this part of my transformation. I say "this part" because I know from previous experience that I must constantly be aware of how I'm sleeping and breathing and how I feel upon waking and throughout the day. Unfortunately, sleep apnea symptoms can and often do come back, despite weight loss. Right now, I'm enjoying some freedom from it and I sincerely hope and pray it continues for a very long time.

Breakthroughs-- yes. Here's the thing: In regard to the issue of constantly going to bed way too late, I was focusing on the wrong thing. I was focusing on trying to fix the end result instead of focusing on the elements leading to that result. It was frustrating because my focus was "I've got to get to bed earlier and by golly I'm gonna do it!" But then, without changing the elements throughout my day, I would repeat the same thing over and over--even reaching a point I wouldn't complain about it anymore within these writings; trying hard not to mention the issue. My attitude was a no-nonsense, slightly harsh one: If I'm going to continue doing it, then I might as well shut up about it already!!

Yesterday and today--no nap. And I was just fine. I made it through quite well and I'm about to hit the publish button on this one and hit the pillow. The proper focus--and it's something that was probably very obvious to you, was needed earlier in the day. The choices I make at the intersection of my work day and the rest of my day/evening, are the critical ones in need of focus. And it's all about attitude and perspective. I've challenged myself yesterday and today and I've come out on top of it. That feels really good!

This redirection of focus reminds me of the overwhelming feeling some of us have experienced when we're faced with a large weight loss challenge. If our focus is on the "I must lose weight--I've got to lose almost 300 pounds or 200, or 40"--it can seem overwhelming--but if we reel that in and point our focus on the smaller elements--the one day, one choice at a time approach, pretty soon we realize we're actually doing it--the smaller focus on the supporting elements needing our attention make this big, sometimes overwhelming challenge, totally doable. We don't have to figure out the big thing all at once. We figure out the small things and suddenly the big thing changes into something we can handle.

I had a long work day today that took the lions share of my afternoon and then a recording session this evening for a voice-over project. I made sure to enjoy dinner before the session and get a good two mile walk in immediately after.

I've had a meatless day. I don't know how often I do this because I honestly haven't paid much attention. It stuck out to me today because I was debating on adding some sirloin tip steak atop my pasta, then I added the calories, eventually deciding it wasn't needed. Interesting.

This focus on time management is important to me for a variety of reasons. I have two big projects on the horizon, an audio meditations project and book number two--plus I have the very strong desire to get focused on a YouTube series with my girlfriend, Heather.  Proper time management is going to become even more critical, quickly.

My Tweets today:












Thank you for reading and your continued support,
Strength,
Sean
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Tuesday, September 30, 2014

September 30th, 2014 A Difference Maker Day

September 30th, 2014 A Difference Maker Day

I opened my eyes this morning a little after 5am. My radio alarm clock was playing my radio station softly, not alarmingly. This explains why I slept an extra 40 minutes this morning. It did start me in a rush and as it turns out, the extra 40 minutes might have been a difference maker.

Today was right on time despite the late start and the frantic rush to the studio at 6am. I slept 5 hours and although I needed more, that's still on average, an hour more--and sometimes 1.5 hours more than I typically get at night. I say "at night" because I often supplement my sleep with daytime naps. The problem with daytime naps is obvious: It pushes everything back, I end up getting to bed super late and then the pattern repeats again and again. Last night's 5 hours might have been a difference maker.

I didn't think I could do it. Between 1 and 2pm, right before calling it a workday, my eyes starting getting super heavy. I felt like I could have slept for hours right there in the studio with the mic in my face and the headphones on. There was a moment where I told myself, you have to nap when you get home!! But then I got up and started moving around. I didn't go for coffee--I just started moving around. I had some errands to run after work, I needed to pay some bills--stop at the bank, those type of things...and I did. And at some point I made the decision that there wouldn't be an afternoon nap.

I decided to get home, take care of some business online--change, fix a Shakeology shake, drink it while my phone charged--then head to the YMCA. Oh, by the way-- I stopped at Sonic on the way home for ice and a banana. It's probably the healthiest order I've ever shouted into that little speaker-microphone intercom thingy. I likely confused the kids inside: "Did he say ice cream with banana?" "No, man--I think he said a bag of ice and a banana--you better double check, repeat his order." Yes-- a bag of ice and a single banana, please! I did notice a few of the items on the menu--wow. I grabbed my ice and banana from the carhop, told him to keep the 70 cents change and peeled out of there quickly. 

Honestly--it wasn't tempting being there, at all. I love what I'm doing, I love what I'm eating, I love how I feel and I love me. I'm content; downright happy. I do not feel the need to comfort myself from indescribable and hard to explain feelings with the new waffle cone sundae. The urge isn't there. The compulsion isn't there. The clarity is there--and it clearly shows me how wonderful life can be when I'm making what one of our weekly conference call support group members calls "righteous food choices!" I feel great about me and my choices. And I refuse to trade this feeling for anything.

I left the house for the YMCA and the elliptical machine. On my way, I dialed up the little Mexican place down the street from the Y to order dinner. With my conference call tonight--I decided I wasn't cooking. I ordered the Hawaiian Fajitas without most of the things included in the order. I didn't want the flour tortillas, beans, rice, or their guacamole. I forgot to say "no cheese," but it turns out they didn't include very much. I asked for three plain corn taco shells instead and a side of lettuce. Since I declined most everything that comes with the fajitas, they charged me nearly four dollars less than the usual price! I told them to wait a bit and I would pick it up after my workout. I walked into the restaurant and was greeted with, "How was the workout amigo?" I smiled big, "It was good, very good!"

I picked up the fajitas and headed straight for the neighborhood grocery store on the South side of town. I ran in and grabbed some fruit and water, then straight home with just enough time to put dinner on a plate and eat before my 7pm conference call. I was in a groove at this point--right on time!

I proved something to myself today. I proved that sometimes when I think there isn't any way I can go on without a nap--I probably need to get up and move around a little and then convince myself of what it is I need to do. Sometimes a nap may actually be the healthiest choice. Not today, though. I felt energized enough to get things done. I powered through my day and made it just fine. I wasn't whipped during my workout either--it was a really good workout! I pushed it well and feel great about making the decision I made to stay up and get things done. Now I can get more rest. I'm getting to bed even earlier and I'll see what 6 to 6.5 hours feels like! This is real progress in the sleep department.

And these goals we have, you know it's not about perfection, it's about progress--and when I can see the progress and feel it too, like today's experiences, I must smile--because this is what it's all about.

My Tweets today:




















Thank you for reading and your continued support,
Strength,
Sean
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Friday, September 26, 2014

September 26th, 2014 Peace and Calm

September 26th, 2014 Peace and Calm

The late night in Stillwater last night did not make for a very good start today. I was tired. I managed to get what work I needed to get done, done--and leave the studio early. I had a decision to make--go home and nap in order to be well rested for my location broadcast at the Thompson Square concert later or go to the YMCA for a midday spin class--then come home for lunch and a nap.

I made the right choice. I did spin at 11:30am because I knew if I didn't, I wouldn't get a workout in today. I wanted a good workout today. I needed it, not just physically but mentally. My Fitbit calorie adjustment today was 700 calories! I feel really good about this!

I feel so wonderful while out in public these days. It goes beyond the slimmer appearance--it's an inner confidence, a calm I've never fully realized before the last several months. I carry myself differently in public. I hold my head high, I don't avoid people and I allow my natural self to be--just be, me...naturally. I don't automatically try to make everyone laugh. I'm perfectly content with just being still. It's a peace and calm.

This peace and calm carries over to my food and exercise too.

I had a special broadcast from a big concert tonight. I had planned on finding something for dinner at the venue but quickly abandoned that plan when I realized there wasn't anything on their limited menu that I wanted to accept. And it was fine. I was okay. It was a late dinner, for sure--but my breakfast for dinner was over the top delicious! Check out the Tweet below!

Heather traveled to me last weekend and I'm traveling to her this weekend. I look forward to spending some more time with her as we get to know one another more. She met my mom last weekend. Tomorrow (Saturday), I get to meet her dad. Wish me luck!

I'm hoping Heather and I can make some time to do our first YouTube video together at some point this weekend. If so, it'll be posted Sunday night! Stay tuned!

My Tweets today:
















Thank you for reading and your support,
Strength,
Sean
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Tuesday, September 16, 2014

September 16th, 2014 Swiped Away From Our Path

September 16th, 2014 Swiped Away From Our Path

It's an incredibly good feeling to be at peace with something. I'm in a position along this road where my acceptance has allowed me the most sincere peace. It's acceptance of my abstinence from sugar, it's acceptance of a committed exercise schedule, it's acceptance for not using food to buffer emotions--it's an acceptance of good things and this, coming from me--someone who has had what seems like an inability to accept good things in my life. To finally feel worthy of good things--and to not immediately try to self-sabotage my way back into chaos, is truly the most wonderful transformation within me.

I'm an affected individual, there's no doubt, all of us are to a certain extent--some more than others. To finally be able to feel some space between me and those deeply ingrained reactions fueled by an inaccurate perception of self, is incredibly liberating.

When I allow my brain to explore the dynamics of it all, I quickly realize the magnitude and how this is about one thousand times more than just weight loss. It goes much deeper than dropping pounds and all the euphoria surrounding weight loss success.  To feel worthy of good things, to once and for all embrace and love me as I am, regardless of anything or anyone else and to view myself without judgement and condemnation...oh my-- My friend, this is what it's all about. To get here, to this mental and emotional place where obstacles are swiped away from our path to freedom, is the most beautiful experience. 

Discussing the fundamentals and surface issues along the way is important, of course-- because the commitment to these--a steady treading of sorts, gives us the balance to go deeper along the way.

When I get excited about this journey, it's not always about the most obvious things, like smaller clothes and slimmer profiles. It's about the deep stuff. It's about the transformation of the inside, not the outside that most excites me. Because it's this transformation that lays the foundation for all other transformative experiences to happen and stay that way.

Today was an exceptional day for many reasons. It wasn't perfect, never is. But it was positive. I experienced an amazing workout. We had a wonderful conference call support group. I'm simply feeling happy and it shows in just about everything I do these days.

My Tweets today:

 










Thank you for reading and your continued support,
Strength,
Sean
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Monday, September 15, 2014

September 15th, 2014 My Six Year Blogging Anniversary

September 15th, 2014 My Six Year Blogging Anniversary

It was exactly six years ago today when I started my journey along this road. I'll never forget September 15th, 2008 for as long as I live. It was that very night, six years ago, that I started this weight loss blog. I wasn't writing to gain followers, or for attention--or because I wanted a writing career or to write a book someday.

My intent was purely to help me stay on track--to keep me accountable. If anyone read it or not, it didn't matter. I was writing for me. It was helping me understand myself better--I was learning, I was discovering incredible things about me--and for once, I found consistency in weight loss.

For the first 200 days or so, about a dozen or so people would read on a regular basis. And that was fine. The first 200 days were some of the most powerful to me, so they served their purpose--and yet, they're some of the least read entries in the archives. Readers, comments and all of that--didn't matter. I was writing from the heart, regardless.

In fact, if you have gone back and read the archives, you can't help but notice the lack of comments and activity. This blog was a year and a half old, over 500 days in, when AOL featured it on their homepage--and that's when it started gaining readers.

This is something I try to emphasize to bloggers just starting out. Do it for you. Write from the heart. Even if you feel like not another person is reading your words, do it anyway. Because the most important person is reading every single entry, and that's you. Your writing can have the most profound impact on you, a seriously therapeutic experience, if you allow yourself to achieve a level of realness like no one is watching. Free yourself, my friend.

If you're writing your blog to gain an audience or to collect followers and comments or any other motive, it will affect what you write. Be real. Be genuine and authentic--just be yourself and let all that other stuff unfold as it will.

I can't tell you how many times someone has said to me, "I wrote my blog for a while but then I stopped because it didn't seem like anyone was reading, I felt like I was just talking to myself." And I say, exactly!!! Why stop?? Breakthroughs were coming!! Epiphanies were inevitable--if you just kept writing!

 I'm very grateful for the tremendous support I gain from readers today. I'm touched and often times overwhelmed by the sincere outpouring of support. And even though some have stated how this blog has helped them in some way--I must always remember my original mission to be real and to write for me. Do I sometimes write something other than that? Of course I do. But at the end of the day--when it gets down to the nitty gritty, I'm focused on me and trying to dissect the elements contributing to my success AND the elements contributing to my stumbles along this road.

 Happy Six Year Blogging Anniversary To Me!!!! Okay, enough of that-- On to today: 

I can recall numerous doctor visits in my past where I would go in with an overwhelming feeling of dread. I would only go if absolutely necessary because I knew I would likely get a very negative report. My doctors appointment today was very different. My doc and I laughed, joked--and we were both very happy with the blood pressure reading. He took me off all BP meds three weeks ago and today it was 120/74. He commented, "Perfect. You couldn't have scripted it any better."

What a beautiful relief. As I was approaching my top regain weight, I knew my blood pressure was once again getting out of control. I could literally feel it and that's saying something, since high blood pressure is commonly referred to as the "silent killer." It was getting super bad. Part of my initial stand in starting the turn around was my appointment where we addressed the sleep apnea issue and the blood pressure issue in the same visit.

Speaking of sleep apnea--I realize I'm long overdue for an update. I stopped using my machine well over a month ago. I don't actually remember exactly when, but it was at a point where it was disrupting my sleep, not helping me rest. I tried it without and slept beautifully. Here's the rub: This could be a very temporary reprieve from the sleep apnea. My body is changing--and where I am now seems to be an optimal place for my apnea situation to dramatically improve. Experience tells me it could very well come roaring back sometime within the next 50-80 pounds of weight loss. That's what happened during my initial weight loss.

I had lost the first 100 pounds and my apnea went away--suddenly I could sleep normally, without assistance from any device. And I celebrated!!! Then, I was profoundly disappointed when I realized it was back with a vengeance as I approached goal weight. It didn't make any sense to me at all. The sleep specialist explained it to me several months back--and it has everything to do with body composition.

Perhaps this time, I can get leaner--and maybe, just maybe--I'll continue resting well. It feels amazing to just lay down, get comfy and fall asleep without the machine. But rest assured (pun intended), if I start needing it again, I will be the first to recognize the effects and do something about it. When I'm tired these days, I can tell the difference--it's not a "sleep apnea kind of tired," it's a "I'm choosing not to get enough sleep kind of tired." Why I continue to make that choice is an exhausting debate that is truly pointless to ponder. I'll either start making it important or not. There will be consequences either way. I'd rather not complain about it anymore. I know what I need to do.

Part of what I need to do is stop taking the naps midday. I've enjoyed the naps--and in a way, they're great because when I need the sleep, I really need the sleep!! But I also need to go to bed at a decent hour. When I nap, it keeps me up late, because the quality is so good, I'm rested. And then the cycle repeats itself. The only way to break it is to stop the naps, get stuff done instead and then go to bed like someone who gets up at 4:30am, not like a school kid out for the summer without a care in the world.

I totally napped today. I rocked that nap for all it was worth. I slept soundly for one and half hours. And here it is, after midnight and I'm wide awake and sharp. No complaints--I'm just saying. It doesn't fix the problem simply because it's acknowledged--there must be action. So far I've done a whole lot of acknowledging and very little action in the sleep schedule department.

There was more I wanted to write about--but after all of the sleep talk, I probably should call it a night. Before I do...

If you're reading this blog, perhaps for the first time--please go back and read some of the archives. Things are going great right now and have for some time, but it hasn't always been this way. Diving into the archives on the left hand side bar of this blog will give you some perspective. I want you to know that you can do it too. This can truly be the time you take a stand and experience the transformation of your life. You deserve it. You're worth it. And I promise, no matter how lost you're feeling, there's hope. Please believe this. I've been in that hopeless state along this road--and I remember how it felt. I felt doomed and out of control. I truly believed it wasn't possible to pull out of the dive. And I believed it...until I didn't. I wasn't doomed, and you're not either.

I recently made it very important to reply to all comments made on each post. If you have a question, feel free to share it in the comments. We often have lively discussions in the comments section of this blog. If you want a more private place to send a message or question, you can email me: Transformation.road@gmail.com

My Tweets today:
















Okay--seriously?? It's time for an eyebrow trim again!! I'm starting to look like the late Andy Rooney.


Thank you for reading and your tremendous support,
Strength,
Sean
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