Sunday, November 16, 2014

November 16th, 2014 Pandora Must Read My Blog

November 16th, 2014 Pandora Must Read My Blog

I think Pandora reads my blog. After several breakup songs in a row, I'm convinced. OMD's If You Leave and Journey's Separate Ways, oh my--why am I doing this to myself? This whole thing isn't easy. I can't just suddenly not care anymore. So, I'm turning my attention to a sharp focus on the fundamentals that have brought me far and promise to take me further. And then When In Rome's The Promise comes on and I'm a mess again. Okay--no more 80's pop Pandora channel for me, for a little while.

Aside from my musical misadventures, today was solid. I took care of me very well. I prepared and cooked three meals, I worked out at the YMCA and I made my water consumption goal of 64 ounces. I was creative in the kitchen and despite being a little preoccupied in thought, I overcame and got into my workout playlist to the point of pushing very hard. 

I had a great discussion tonight via phone with one of my support buddies in the upper Northwest. We discussed different projects and ideas. He gave me some incredible advice that will certainly help bring my audio project, Weight Loss Meditations to life much quicker than I previously planned. I'm very excited and I can't wait to make this audio product available to you!

I'm hitting the pillow tonight with confidence in my choices. It feels good.

My Tweets today:
















Thank you for reading and your continued support,
Strength,
Sean
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Saturday, November 15, 2014

November 15th, 2014 When I'm Vague

November 15th, 2014 When I'm Vague

Whenever I write about something in vague terms it's because I'm trying my best to be appropriate and considerate of others involved in whatever it is going on in my life. This is a daily diary and if you come into contact with me, there's always a chance our encounter will be mentioned in one way or another. And if I'm in a relationship, then obviously--it's a big part of my life, and the other person will undoubtedly be involved every now and then. I'm much better at being appropriate and considerate today versus four or five years ago. I've learned a great deal and I'm still learning everyday about this necessary and sometimes delicate balance.

Heather and I have mutually decided to end our relationship. We've agreed to remain friends and we both, clearly, have enormous respect and admiration for one another. She's an amazing person who inspires and motivates people everyday. If you're interested in discovering more about what Heather does as a fitness coach and how she does it, simply click on her picture along the left hand side of this blog page. This isn't what I imagined happening, ever, and I believe it's safe to say that, this is also something of a mutual feeling, it's an I can't believe we're here, type thing--but we are and that's all I will say.

This is what I've been vague about lately. It's been a very challenging week. I can't speak for Heather, but I would imagine she would say the same thing.

I spent this evening in my hometown of Stillwater with my oldest daughter Amber. We dined at one of our favorite places, The Hideaway and I'm extremely proud of how I navigated the menu. As in previous Hideaway trips, I ordered the gluten-free crust (it only comes in thin crust--perfect!) with veggie toppings. I'm not 100% gluten free, but I like to order it when it's available.

We also ordered one of my favorite things: Hideaway fried mushrooms. In my opinion, they're the benchmark for excellence in fried mushrooms. This is the first time in seven months for me to enjoy these--so I did, in a very limited way. I basically treat them as I do chips at a Mexican restaurant--I counted mine, separating them from the bowl--and I enjoyed my portion. When they're gone, they're gone--no more. I did very well!

Nothing in my meal contained sugar and that's always my biggest concern when dining out. At home, I can control it without worry. At a restaurant, if there's any question whatsoever, I will ask at least twice and sometimes a third time--just to give a sufficient impression to our server that this is something of utmost importance.

When I order a sugar free iced coffee--especially in a drive through, where one person will take your order and another prepares the order--I will often make a point to speak directly to the person who made it--requesting a confirmation it was made sugar free.

I take my abstinence from sugar very seriously. It's the most important element of my food plan. It's given me a peace and calm I couldn't believe possible until I gave it an honest try and now, after 7 months of this honest try, I don't want to ever go back. It is my addictive substance and I look at it like it's heroin or cocaine. I prefer being clean of sugar. Life is much better when I'm maintaining the integrity of my food plan.

I really enjoyed Amber's company this evening. We always have fantastic conversations. Her support and spot on advice, is truly a gift.
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After dinner, we shopped some for Noah and Amber needed to do some shoe shopping to find some good "teacher shoes." Teachers need comfy shoes to stand in front of a class all day! Before heading back, we found mom and visited with her a short time. What a wonderful evening! I'm incredibly blessed to be surrounded by so much love and support.

My Tweets today:




















Thank you for reading and your continued support,
Strength,
Sean
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Friday, November 14, 2014

November 14th, 2014 The Dynamic Changes

November 14th, 2014 The Dynamic Changes

I have maintained the integrity of my food plan today, despite experiencing emotions encouraging me to do what comes naturally. I entertained the thought of ice cream loaded with fat and sugar. The thought crossed my mind--and I quickly shut it down.

As soon as I realized where my mind was wandering, I quickly "told on my thought" by sending a text to a support buddy. It's amazing how sharing these things deflate them immediately--zapping them of their power. It does this because these type of thoughts thrive in isolation. When they're brought out in the light and into conversation with someone who gets it, suddenly the dynamic changes and they lose power. 

I'll write more over the weekend. For now, I'm going to get some much needed rest. I'm sleeping as late as possible Saturday morning. My daughter Amber said she plans to sleep in too, so we're challenging one another to see who can sleep in the longest. The one with the most rest, wins.

My Tweets today:
















Thank you for reading and your wonderful support,
Strength,
Sean
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Thursday, November 13, 2014

November 13th, 2014 Stress and Nerves

November 13th, 2014 Stress and Nerves

I woke up with pain in my upper abdomen. I tried everything I knew to remedy the situation to no avail. It's been a very long time since I felt this type of pain and when I've felt it before, it was most usually a consequence of dietary choices the night before. This time it wasn't food born. It was clearly stress and nerves.

I stayed home from work and refrained from eating or drinking anything but water until the pain subsided. Finally, by noon, I was feeling well, but exhausted. I couldn't get into the doctor until 4:30pm. I opted to stay home and take it easy today before getting out for the appointment. My doc thinks it could certainly be a nervous reaction, but it also might be a stomach bacteria issue. A couple of prescriptions and an order for blood work later, and I was on my way. I felt completely fine in his office. It's almost 10pm and I still feel really well.

I fell short on hitting my calorie goal of 1,700 today. I finished the day at 1,328 calories and no workout. It's one day and it's a day I was sick, therefore, I'm okay with it all.

I'm feeling much better and I'm working on finding more ways to alleviate stress in my life. The great news for me is, I'm not eating through the stress! That's a VERY big deal. Yay!

My Tweets today:
















Thank you for reading and your wonderful support,
Strength,
Sean
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Wednesday, November 12, 2014

November 12th, 2014 Thank You and Nothing More

November 12th, 2014 Thank You and Nothing More

It was a really good day for compliments. I received a couple of them for my physical transformation and I quickly said "thank you," and nothing more. It always seems to be hard to accept compliments. I think it's because when anyone is complimentary, it's natural to believe they're just trying to be nice. Or maybe it's because we're not convinced or we're more focused on the imperfections--so instead of saying "thank you," and dropping it right there, we add things like, "I'm not there yet" or "I've got a long way to go" or a number of other things. And if we utter something in disagreement of their compliment, it's rather impolite, I've been told. So I just said, "thank you." It felt good to accept the kind words. I did think to myself, if they only knew about the inner transformation, they would really be blown away. The inner transformation, that's the biggest and best one--sincerely.

Today was another really solid day with food and exercise. I've danced a little closer this week and held on a little tighter to the fundamentals of my plan. I do this when I'm experiencing stressful or emotional things in my life. Instincts want to send me the other way sometimes, and it's during those moments I must be very mindful to take extraordinary care in every way.

I had another incredible level 12 workout on the elliptical tonight and I just finished some pretty decent strength training exercises. I did squats and modified pushups and I attempted to use my NordicFlex machine, however I think I'm going to need to breakdown and read the instruction manual in order to figure out how to best use this big thing in the middle of my spare bedroom.

My Tweets today:
















Thank you for reading and your continued support,
Strength,
Sean
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Tuesday, November 11, 2014

November 11th, 2014 I Do Not Have It All Together

November 11th, 2014 I Do Not Have It All Together

You might have the impression that I have it all together. I do not. Sure, I'm having incredible success right now, but it isn't because I got this. I'm having this success because I'm doing my best at building all sides of my recovery.

The truth is, I'm naturally weak. How does someone who claims to be weak and says he doesn't have it all together, keep it together? It takes a committed effort, every day.

I've built an accountability structure that makes it very hard to not succeed. It's still VERY possible to throw it all away--and seriously, one sugar binge would undoubtedly create a chain reaction resulting in my ultimate undoing. So I proceed carefully and I make the elements of my success extremely important. I must always make what I do important--I must always make me, important, because I've discovered what happens when I let it all go: I end up losing myself in a dramatic way.

It's all about finding what works for you, right? For some it's the right plan or the right support group. Some people get into weight loss competitions, and that works well for them--others just wake up one day and decide. Countless people have lost incredible amounts of weight and even maintained their weight loss--and they did it quietly--no blog, no book--no social network or elaborate chain of support, they just did it--and I admire those people. They're strong. They're the epitome of inspiring for their strength and determination. I'm not like those people, I promise you. I wish I could say I was, but I'm just not--and that's okay.

What is it that works for me? The food tweets each day, all day, this nightly blog writing ritual, the support buddies I have on speed dial and text, the weekly weight loss support group I co-facilitate, the weigh day scale pictures from my doctors office posted to all of my social media outlets, the prayers, the meditations--all of these things keep me moving on the straight and narrow.  And each one is critical to my success. If I eliminated these things, it would just be me again and I'm not strong enough to do it on my own. 

Every now and again, I'll use the old cliche, "If I can do it, anyone can do it," and now you know just how deeply I mean those words.

It truly is about finding what works for you. It's different for everyone--and for some, like me, it takes a whole lot of things working together, for me to keep it together.
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It was a good, solid day at work. I was very productive and had some fun interviewing country music icon, T.G. Sheppard. The interview doesn't air until next Monday--and his concert is the 21st. After the interview, before we ended our call, he invited me for a pre-show visit, perhaps some coffee on his bus. I'm totally taking him up on this offer! 

My workout was fantastic tonight. I took it up to level 12 on the elliptical. When I first started back to the YMCA several months ago--and I was working on level 2, I remember looking over at a guy doing level 12 and being so incredibly impressed. Back then, level 2 was challenging enough for me. Now, I'm the guy on level 12, rocking it!! This really feels amazing.

My breakfast and lunch was almost exactly the same as yesterday. I did enjoy something different for dinner. The most important thing about the food, to me, is: Do I love what I'm eating? The answer is yes, I do--very much. I will occasionally mix it up and get creative with a little variety. If I'm getting tired of something, I'll be the first to know and I'll be quick to make changes. 

My Tweets today:
















Thank you for reading and your continued support,
Strength,
Sean
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Monday, November 10, 2014

November 10th, 2014 Mining Important Lessons

November 10th, 2014 Mining Important Lessons

One of the greatest benefits of losing weight then regaining, then losing again, is going back and mining all of the important lessons learned along the previous trip. Even if the insight wasn't fully appreciated or even applied back then, it can be picked up and made useful today.

Since crossing the 100 pound barrier on my last weigh-in, I know that this is the time when things can become routine and kind of boring. This is when it's important to mix it up, get creative and maintain momentum. Mixing it up can be tricky, because we don't want to mix it up too much, for fear of becoming unbalanced. Mixing it up, just enough for a little different feel and stride, can be all the spice it needs.

For me, mixing it up--or freshening up my approach, will mean a stronger focus on strength training. I'll not write too much more on that topic until I have some experience in doing, instead of talking. And it will mean trying new foods and different preparations, basically--stepping up the fun in the kitchen!

Making this journey enjoyable is a HUGE element for success. Believe me, if I didn't enjoy it, I wouldn't be doing it consistently. I remember times in my distant past when losing weight had to be something hard and not fun at all. I would choose methods and routines so far removed from any shred of joy, but I had convinced myself, if I wanted to lose weight, this is what I needed to do. I wasn't trying to develop things I could live with for life, I was doing dreadful things for short periods of time and hoping to have some success before returning to my natural habits and inclinations that put me over 500 pounds in the first place.

Making this journey something to get excited about, something of a joyful experience, has been a perspective and approach I've made important.  The toughest thing comes at first--when the idea of simply cutting down and moving more feels like a threat against nature and in no way sounds like it could be enjoyable in any way, shape or form. I get it. I've been there. I know what that feels like. For me, The reason it felt that way was because for so many years, I made food everything in my world. Feeling sad? Eat. Feeling anxious? Eat. Feeling angry? Eat. Stressed? Eat!! Feeling happy? Feast!!

I realized the fear wasn't about the food, necessarily--it was actually the fear of what breaking the emotional dependency on food would mean and the uncertainty of how I would handle life without using a fork like an emotional crutch.

Untangling the truth amid a cloud of dysfunctional behavior isn't an easy thing to do. But the truth is, abusing food never really helped me solve anything. It simply distracted me for a little while. I wasn't actually dealing with the issues driving me to eat--I was simply eating, instead of dealing--and the food was good; a delicious distraction from the realities of life.

It takes a huge amount of faith to have these issues and despite it all, do the things that in many ways feel counter-intuitive. But if the approach is something doable, something enjoyable--and relatively simple--and all within a one day at a time approach, it becomes clear quickly--this is possible and my world isn't coming to an end without all the excess. 

And things start to improve--not only because of the weight loss. Suddenly we're dealing with feelings and things we've avoided. We're allowing ourselves to feel again--and now the strength we need to face these things is drawn from how good we feel in our positive momentum. And it's then, in those moments--when we realize how it's coming together--that we're ripe for all kinds of epiphanies. 

We're stronger than we ever imagined. We're powerful. We're capable of amazing things. And one of the biggest realizations of all--and one of the hardest to believe: We're worthy and we deserve it. I deserve to feel good. You deserve to feel good. It's okay to be happy, it's okay to choose to be happy. It's inside us all along. It's okay to tap it and feel better. And then, at some point--I believe we conclude...

The physical part of this journey--the physical transformation, is fun and important for our health and well being, yes--but still, in my opinion, is the least dramatic of all. The mental and emotional transformation is by far the biggest and most powerful.
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I had a great day today, capped with a late visit and dinner with mom. Before dinner, mom and I made our way into a clothing store. I was searching for a coat. I really didn't want to spend the money on a coat that will be too big in the next few months--and it turns out I didn't need to. A colleague of mine has a nearly new coat they no longer need and they're gifting it to me tomorrow! I took the call right there in the coat section of the department store. So instead of a coat, I grabbed a few shirts that were drastically reduced and another warm pullover I found on sale.

I also looked for some jeans in a smaller size, but the big and tall section didn't have the size I needed--everything was too big!!! That was a nice realization. I was wondering why I couldn't find the size I needed--and suddenly it dawned--oh, because apparently I can find the size I need in the regular section. Well, if that don't beat all--as my grandpa once said.

Mom and I enjoyed a good dinner and conversation before I turned around, grabbed an iced coffee for the drive back, and headed home.

My Tweets Today:


















Thank you for reading and your continued support,
Strength,
Sean
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Sunday, November 9, 2014

November 9th, 2014 I'm All About That Bass, No Trouble

November 9th, 2014 I'm All About That Bass, No Trouble

Finding the rhythm of this journey is nice. I know I've found my rhythm when I can have life hand me a stressful/emotional situation and I can handle it without sacrificing the integrity of my plan. It goes back to the philosophy about the plan running "in the background" while life happens in the foreground.

As long as they run parallel to one another, then neither life or the food and exercise plan get in the other's way. If I choose to not handle life--and I relegate it to the background, there's horrible consequences--and if I allow the plan to run in the foreground, it will undoubtedly get in the way of life.

It's a rhythm and a balance we find, different for each of us, and imperative for success.

For me, it's a bass line playing in the background. It's smooth and calm, it's wholesome and fun, it's rhythmic and constant, there to remind me why it's important for me to keep the rhythm.

Because I could easily get out of rhythm, out of sync. Oh yes, I could totally start moving to a different rhythm. And when I start to get out of rhythm is when I must turn up the volume of the bass line--letting it thump, and jumping back in sync. 

Turning up the volume might mean reaching out for support a little more than I already do, it might mean getting out and into some good exercise, and it might mean preparing a good, calorie friendly meal at home. Today, I...

...made three meals at home. I exercised well. I reached out for support. Yep, I turned up the volume, slightly. 

I pay close attention to the bass line rhythm of my plan and I follow it come what may. Instead of abandoning the rhythm when things in the foreground get challenging, I embrace the rhythm a little more. I dance a little closer, a little tighter and I find peace and comfort. I'm all about that bass, 'bout that bass, no trouble. ;)

I had some mushrooms and sirloin tip steak that really needed to be cooked today, so I made them fit into lunch and dinner. Oh my goodness, these two dishes were over the top good!! I get excited when I get creative in the kitchen! See the tweets below!

I had a great exercise weekend! I did a nice 5K yesterday and another tonight. Two days, two 5K's--and I feel fantastic. 

I'm headed to bed tonight with 1,690 calories consumed, 432 calories burned during my 5K--and my net calories after exercise at 1,258. To me, that's staying in the groove and keeping the rhythm quite nicely.

My Tweets Today:


















Thank you for reading and your continued support,
Strength,
Sean
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Saturday, November 8, 2014

November 8th, 2014 Letting The Tweets Tell

November 8th, 2014 Letting The Tweets Tell

I'm letting the Tweets tell the tale tonight. It's late. Goodnight!

My Tweets Today:


























Thank you for reading and your continued support,
Strength,
Sean
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Friday, November 7, 2014

November 7th, 2014 I'll Take It and Love It

November 7th, 2014 I'll Take It and Love It

It was a fairly busy Friday in my world. I put in a good long day and then prepared to make the trip to see Heather. I'm off tomorrow, completely, so I plan on enjoying the time. We're about to get into the busiest season of the year for broadcasting and advertising/marketing in general, so any time I can enjoy a weekend off, I'll take it and love it!

I tried something different for lunch today. I cooked a super lean hamburger steak and grilled squash in the employee kitchen, using a hot plate, a small oven and a Foreman Grill. Our entire upstairs office space smelled like a diner. The office of the owner is right next to the kitchen--and I'm pretty sure he'll be developing a list of acceptable items to cook. It smelled great, just didn't smell like a radio station. It'll be back to the more aroma friendly tostadas on Monday! (I LOVE the tostadas, so I'm not complaining.)

I had too many errands to run and things to finish before leaving town, so at some point I decided this would be a rest day. And I'm totally fine with this!  I'll be sure to get a couple of workouts in this weekend.

Heather made chicken tortilla soup tonight. It was absolutely delicious! We watched a couple of movies and simply relaxed. I feel good, very good.
 
My Tweets today:


















Thank you for reading and your continued support,
Strength,
Sean
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