Saturday, November 15, 2014

November 15th, 2014 When I'm Vague

November 15th, 2014 When I'm Vague

Whenever I write about something in vague terms it's because I'm trying my best to be appropriate and considerate of others involved in whatever it is going on in my life. This is a daily diary and if you come into contact with me, there's always a chance our encounter will be mentioned in one way or another. And if I'm in a relationship, then obviously--it's a big part of my life, and the other person will undoubtedly be involved every now and then. I'm much better at being appropriate and considerate today versus four or five years ago. I've learned a great deal and I'm still learning everyday about this necessary and sometimes delicate balance.

Heather and I have mutually decided to end our relationship. We've agreed to remain friends and we both, clearly, have enormous respect and admiration for one another. She's an amazing person who inspires and motivates people everyday. If you're interested in discovering more about what Heather does as a fitness coach and how she does it, simply click on her picture along the left hand side of this blog page. This isn't what I imagined happening, ever, and I believe it's safe to say that, this is also something of a mutual feeling, it's an I can't believe we're here, type thing--but we are and that's all I will say.

This is what I've been vague about lately. It's been a very challenging week. I can't speak for Heather, but I would imagine she would say the same thing.

I spent this evening in my hometown of Stillwater with my oldest daughter Amber. We dined at one of our favorite places, The Hideaway and I'm extremely proud of how I navigated the menu. As in previous Hideaway trips, I ordered the gluten-free crust (it only comes in thin crust--perfect!) with veggie toppings. I'm not 100% gluten free, but I like to order it when it's available.

We also ordered one of my favorite things: Hideaway fried mushrooms. In my opinion, they're the benchmark for excellence in fried mushrooms. This is the first time in seven months for me to enjoy these--so I did, in a very limited way. I basically treat them as I do chips at a Mexican restaurant--I counted mine, separating them from the bowl--and I enjoyed my portion. When they're gone, they're gone--no more. I did very well!

Nothing in my meal contained sugar and that's always my biggest concern when dining out. At home, I can control it without worry. At a restaurant, if there's any question whatsoever, I will ask at least twice and sometimes a third time--just to give a sufficient impression to our server that this is something of utmost importance.

When I order a sugar free iced coffee--especially in a drive through, where one person will take your order and another prepares the order--I will often make a point to speak directly to the person who made it--requesting a confirmation it was made sugar free.

I take my abstinence from sugar very seriously. It's the most important element of my food plan. It's given me a peace and calm I couldn't believe possible until I gave it an honest try and now, after 7 months of this honest try, I don't want to ever go back. It is my addictive substance and I look at it like it's heroin or cocaine. I prefer being clean of sugar. Life is much better when I'm maintaining the integrity of my food plan.

I really enjoyed Amber's company this evening. We always have fantastic conversations. Her support and spot on advice, is truly a gift.
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After dinner, we shopped some for Noah and Amber needed to do some shoe shopping to find some good "teacher shoes." Teachers need comfy shoes to stand in front of a class all day! Before heading back, we found mom and visited with her a short time. What a wonderful evening! I'm incredibly blessed to be surrounded by so much love and support.

My Tweets today:




















Thank you for reading and your continued support,
Strength,
Sean

26 comments:

  1. I'm sorry to hear your relationship ended but it sounds like you are dealing with it appropriately - without rancour and without overeating!

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    1. Thank you, Natalie. I'm doing my best at working through and making sure I'm taking extraordinary care!! Without rancor--without a disabling meltdown...So far, so good.

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  2. Kudos to you (sugar-free kudos!) for continuing to take good care of yourself during the kind of experience that is emotionally so challenging to navigate. A loving and supportive family is such a blessing!

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    1. Becky, it really is amazing how much support I'm blessed with--family and so much extended support online. I must pause and give thanks and realize how lucky I am. And truly, there's nothing like that conversation with my daughter--and she's so smart and I love her so much--and she knows me like the back of her hand. When I wrote it's a gift, I meant it in two ways--she's gifted and her gifts are a gift to me. Thank you so much, Becky!

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  3. You're a stand up guy Sean. I totally agree with you on the sugar - I'm happy I've removed it from my life. Good job too on such good maneuvering when eating out. Funny - I do the same thing at a drive thru. There have been several times when my order was not sugar-free - and I hate that!

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    1. LM-- Thank you for that! Yeah--the sugar abstinence certainly isn't for everyone and isn't necessary for everyone--but wow, for those of us affected, finally getting it out and staying abstinent, it quickly becomes clear how much better life can be without it's effects.
      I'm fairly obsessive, especially in a drive through--or anywhere there's someone taking the order and another preparing the order--and I do it in the best way I can-- friendly and with a hint of "I hate to be a bother, but..." And a smile-- smiling is important!

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  4. I am sure it must not always be easy,but your ways of navigating your challenges with food and otherwise come across in such a way that you not only come through as "real" but also smart and inspiring.
    I am still working on that funky "ask" word and not worry so much about being a "hassle". Hope you finish off the weekend surrounded by the love and support of your famiy-Take care of you!

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    1. Alati--thank you very much, my friend. The asking part--it's all in the approach. I've found that if I'm polite--and slightly obsessive with a smile and body language that says I hate to be a bother--but...most people will bend over backwards to accommodate.

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    1. J, thank you. I'm certainly not thrilled with it all--and honestly, I wish I would have handled most everything about it, differently. But it's very good news that I'm reaching out for support when I need and I'm taking extraordinary care. That's fantastic news!!

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  6. Take extra special care of yourself during this time. I'm sorry to hear it didn't work out with Heather.

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    1. Thank you, A. I am, for sure. I'm sorry, too.

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  7. You are doing well. May the Lord comfort and strengthen your heart.

    Deb

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    1. Thank you for your prayer, Deb. I sincerely appreciate that.

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  8. Thanks for your honesty, hope you're doing okay Sean. As always your food posts/pics make me hungry. In fact I made bean tostadas just last night as a direct result of all the pictures you post of yours. Tonite I too had fried food--fried pickle appetizer. Tried not to eat too many. Next time I will follow your lead and set a pre-determined serving of them to avoid over-eating.

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    1. Pam!! I'm so happy you tried the bean tostadas!! And? Did you love 'em too? Yeah--if I don't set a limit at the start, it can get out of hand--If I count them out--then set a firm boundary between me and the rest, I'm good. It's all apart of the mental gymnastics!
      Thank you very much for your support, Pam!

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  9. ~ I hope tonight finds you in a good place, heart and mind. Breaking up is the hardest thing to do even though it is sometimes the best thing to happen. Here's to new beginnings! Your daughter and you look so happy in that pic. I'm glad you had a great evening! Don't you just love those sort of impromptu good nights?!

    Take Care~ Rosie

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    1. Rosie-Spending the evening with Amber was just what I needed. I'm working on it. Breaking up is tough. I don't like it.
      Thank you for your wonderful support, Rosie!!

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  10. Sorry to hear you and Heather have ended your relationship. It seems it's One of the hardest, most stressful things to happen to us. Holding the steady line with food and exercise you are doing so well will bring you through. Thank you for posting.
    N~

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    1. Nancy--thank you very much for this. Very hard--very stressful--and holding the steady line with the food becomes an intense focus, because it's imperative. I've lost control before--I have that experience to look back on--and I'm doing my best to not make that same negative turn. So far--I'm handling things well. One day at a time, right? You're welcome--absolutely--if i didn't post something--you would know something was wrong--I'm committed to posting daily--even if it's a quick one...something. It's a crucial part of my recovery and further self-study along this road we travel.

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  11. My turn to be vague: Although I am currently very happy in my marriage, there was a point when we struggled. I know how easy it is to stay on target with your eating when you are giddy happy and I know how crappy hard it is to stay on target with your eating when you are crushed. It's just the way it is. But your strength is showing itself by how you are handling this and the weight loss community is proud of you, encouraged by you, and thinking of you during this transition.

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    1. Amy, you're so wonderful, thank you. You're so right--both extremes presents challenges, indeed. Hard to say which one is toughest--both has the ability to throw things into chaos if we allow it.
      I appreciate you.

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  12. Oh Sean, so sorry to hear your news, but you are handling it so well and remaining on track....an example to us all not to get off track when something hard happens.

    Dede

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    1. Thank you, Dede. I'm working through it--taking it slow--and clinging tight to what I know is right and good for me. If I choose to not take care--I know it would be a disastrous far beyond what I'm experiencing now.

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  13. Good job in navigating these rough waters. Life can be choppy sometimes, and it tests us While going through a break up is rough, but it also reveals to us that we are stronger than we think. Life is not always meant to be easy, but it's always meant to be worth it.

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    1. "Life is not always meant to be easy, but it's always meant to be worth it." Thank you for this, A.

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