No Seriously, What Plan Am I On?
A listener of my morning radio show came up to me today at the store and congratulated me on my weight loss. Then came the question. “So, how are you doing it?” I told him “1500 calories a day and exercise.” Then he asked me “What plan is it?” I told him “oh, it's my plan”, This really confused him. “So like Atkins?” This guy wouldn't quit. “No, it's just 1500 calories a day and exercise—no special pills or plans or crazy strict food list.” He then suggested I try the Atkins diet, because “who can live on 1500 calories?” I was very polite and thanked him for the suggestion then I told him that 1500 calories was working just fine for me. He then proceeded to tell me how he lost 30 pounds on the Atkins plan. He was a very nice man and a loyal listener. And I appreciate that! But man, he was convinced that I had to be doing some kind of special plan or book or service or pills or something! He's not alone, many people are convinced that you need to buy the solution. The multi-billion dollar weight loss product industry thrives because of this way of thinking. So many people struggle with obesity and have for so many years, all the while waiting for that perfect plan or drug to save them. Many of the “plans” will help you lose the weight, but do they really teach you how to eat after the plan? That's my biggest problem with the Atkins diet. I actually gave it a try back in 1995, but the grocery bill was just too much! And I quickly realized how fast you remember how much you love bread and other carbohydrates when you're filling up on meat, eggs, cheese, and more meat. But my love for carbs isn't the reason I will not do the Atkins plan. It wasn't teaching me anything about portion control. I wasn't learning anything except the science of why it works. That came in real handy when I would explain why I could eat two pounds of hamburger meat, a half pound of bacon, and a block of cheese and still lose weight. I'm in this for the life change, the long haul, the permanent results. I'm learning how to handle food in every day life and enjoy real portions, instead of monster size portions. And because I can eat whatever I want within my calorie budget, there isn't a situation or special circumstance that can trip me up. Remember the crazy boiled eggs/bananas/hot dog diet? I think that was the “special” combination. One day you ate just boiled eggs, the next bananas, and the third day hot dogs. Then on day 4 you started over with the boiled eggs. Oh, it works! Sure it works! But I'll tell ya, I don't plan on eating those three things exclusively for the rest of my life! Maybe it wasn't bananas...I'm pretty sure about the boiled eggs and hot dogs, but that third item may have been something else. Anyway, it doesn't matter, that's nuts! And really it's just another form of calorie counting, the only difference is you don't have the choices. The unlimited choices is what makes calorie counting so great!
I went to the bank today and they didn't offer me cookies this time! I've finally convinced my friends at the bank that I'm for real! Just last week the teller quietly asked me, “hey, you uh, want a cookie?” I turned it down again and reminded him of my weight loss efforts. He meant well, but the way he almost whispered the cookie question suggested that he knew I wouldn't take it, but just in case he was going to ask. Can't blame him, I mean really, I consumed 1,000 calories worth of free freshly baked Otis Spunkmeyer cookies every week for over a year. And what a brilliant added value of banking there, I mean come on, who doesn't love fresh baked cookies? They know what they're doing! If I ever want one again, I'll ask for it, but I just don't like spending 250 calories on one little cookie, know what I mean? And it feels good not having to invent new reasons to run to the bank. I'll admit it right here and now: Not every trip I made to the bank in the past was necessary. Yes, some of those trips were for one reason only...Free cookies! How sick is that?
Weigh day number four is only five days away! Normally it would be on Tuesday, but Tuesday is Veterans Day and the Payne County Health Center (a government entity) will be closed in observance. We talked about changing weigh days to every other Monday, but it just so happens that Irene has another doctors appointment Wednesday, and her appointment is right across the street from the keeper of the scales. We'll save the gas and time and just weigh then. I'm excited to see more results! I always hated to weigh before, but it's different when you know you're on track. When you know you've honestly done everything you could do, then weighing becomes an event to enjoy. And I know that one of these weigh days, I'm going to step on and not like the results. The weight loss will slow down and level, and that's Ok, it's expected at a certain point. I can handle slow and steady but I'll tell ya, fast and furious is really fun! But not realistic. I almost guarantee I will not have lost another 20 pounds come Wednesday. But like I've said before, I know I've lost 'cause the belt doesn't lie! Neither does the mirror or those pictures we took the other day, or the people that are noticing the loss out of the clear blue. I'll wait 'till Tuesday to really make a guess.
I have to apologize to my mom. She was totally freaked out by the posting of the Edwin and Frankie mug shots yesterday. She called me really late as soon as she noticed the pictures. I think she would have felt better had I immediately jumped up and removed them from the post. But she hadn't even read the blog yet. After I explained why and she had a chance to read the blog, it was OK. She was better today. I explained to her that Edwin and Frankie are not getting out anytime soon, and it's not like they're going to read this blog anyway. Do they have internet in prison? Wait a second, maybe they do! Whatever, their mugshots are public file information, and besides our tax dollars paid for the camera. I did want to clear one thing up. I no longer hold any bad feelings toward those two guys. I've long since forgiven them. It taught me a great deal about myself and the “bully vs. bullied” dynamic. They were just really misguided kids. And OK, maybe going to visit them would be a little strange, but what could they do? They can't get me through the holes in the bullet proof glass! I think it would be hilarious to pretend that I just wanted to stop in and say hi on my way “to my new job on the parole board.” Talk about paybacks! How funny. Kinda mean, but funny.
Tomorrow is Saturday and I'm scheduled for a remote broadcast appearance from a Corvette Show at the local Chevy dealer. Corvettes from four different states will be there and so will the free food and soft drinks. Hey, no problem, right? I've handled these situations before, I'm tested and ready! Bring on the brats and the sports cars I can't fit into...yet! I'll let you know how it goes next time. Until then, good night and...