Friday, March 13, 2009

Day 179 Sharing A Message of Hope and Freedom and The Real Me is The New Me

Day 179

Sharing A Message of Hope and Freedom and The Real Me is The New Me

Tonight was a good night. I had a great time at the “Lose To Win” seminar. I always hope I communicated well. I think I did. Still, there's always something I wish I would have said. I guess I'll talk about that stuff next time. What a wonderful reward to talk to people about this amazing journey. I could feel a nice connection with the audience. As the weight comes off, and the difference becomes so much more dramatic, I wonder what it'll be like. I look forward to speaking to people about losing weight the rest of my life, I want to share my journey with as many people “like me” as possible. Because there's a way out of obesity, and I thought I would never find it, but I have found it, and it's something I'm so passionate about, I can't help talking and sharing.

I feel like nothing is impossible. This over-joyed feeling is such a far cry from the desperate hopeless emotions of 505 pounds. I hope that you can see my sincerity in these words. After being overweight my entire life and never losing the weight permanently, I felt like I was destined to be fat forever, however short that forever may have been. I can see the possibilities now, I can feel the hope for the first time in a long time. I always was good at putting on a happy face no matter my weight. Someone said to me tonight that they'll miss that 505 pound guy they first met a year or so ago. But understand, that 505 pound guy was hurting very badly inside. That 505 pound guy was all smiles on the outside and all tears inside. While my values will always remain the same, and I'll always be me, a part of Sean that has never surfaced before is making it's way out. It's the Sean I always kept under wraps, opting instead for a much more insecure version, less confident, and full of self doubt. This new Sean is still the old Sean, just way more outgoing and confident. A much more fun Sean is emerging like a butterfly, But this really isn't anything new...It's me! It's the me I've always been inside, but was too insecure to let out. Finally my personality on the radio will more closely match up with my personality off the air. I've always said that I reveal way more of “the real me” on the radio. I do because you can't see me. The only thing I have to be confident about on the radio is my voice and ability to communicate, and that's never been a problem.

I'm headed to bed tonight full of wonderful feelings. Even though I know that tomorrow brings a mountain of stress in my personal life, I'm confident that I'll survive, and see a brighter future someday. I'll tell you, this new outlook on life is really amazing. All of the stressful triggers that once wreaked havoc on me and my weight loss efforts, all of them are completely powerless. Can they still make me stress, sure, I'm still human. I just react differently than I ever have in the past. I look forward to writing more tomorrow night. Until then, good night and...

Good Choices,

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