Feeling Off-Staying On and Dreams Should Shine
Most days are incredible; some days not so much. It's the normal ups and downs of life that test the strength of my steel-curtain zone. Today was a strange day, it's really hard to explain. It just didn't feel right, like something in the peaceful, forward progressing environment we've created, was off a little. The calorie budget is intact, but we haven't worked out yet, and lately that's unusual. Maybe I've watched and listened to too much news today. But I know one thing, I can't let myself get down over an unexplained emptiness, perhaps I need to go walk and then come back. Exercise always lifts my spirits, and that's saying something considering where I've been.
No, everyone is waiting on me to finish here before we hit the trail, so I'll write.
Before I shaved this morning, Irene suggested I try leaving a goatee on my face. I've never liked the way facial hair looks on me. But apparently she thinks it'll be handsome. So I gave it a try. Maybe that explains why I feel off! I'm not use to facial hair. You know there's a facial hair double standard, right? Seriously...when I weighed over 500 pounds and I would allow a little growth, it simply made me look like a kook. I looked like a dirty drunk fat hobo. But if Brad Pitt wears a little stubble, it's considered irresistible! Now, you can be overweight and still have good looking facial hair, but it must be neat and trimmed at all times, unless you're Tom Cruise, then it can be as messy as you like and still look fashionable. So I'm sporting a neatly trimmed goatee. Just for the moment. I'm shaving it soon. Irene will just have to do with the clean shaved look on me, like I've had forever. Maybe that was it! I think it was! Wow. I should go shave this thing right now. I look different enough these days without adding some uncharacteristic facial hair. The facial hair seems to grow faster now. Seriously, why is that? Is it because it has less distance to travel to the outside of my face? That just sounded incredibly crazy. I kid you not, my facial hair grows quicker now after losing 176 pounds. Strange stuff indeed. And as crazy as this sounds, I really think it's the facial hair that has me feeling all “off” today. Well, I'm glad we got to the bottom of that!
No...wait, no...still off a little. You know, at this point, even the “off” days aren't that bad. Maybe a little lost feeling or empty, but it's never something that last more than a day. I can chase away any downers by simply closing my eyes and imagining our future. I know that God willing, we'll have wonderful days and wonderful accomplishments ahead. We will. You know me, I dream big, really big! Always been a dreamer, yep that's me. But now it's different. Now it all seems possible. The dreams, they change, they evolve. I've changed, I've evolved just like my dreams. “Off” days are a great time to inventory all of the wonderful things we're thankful for. I believe I'll have that quiet moment before I go to sleep tonight. A moment to give thanks for all of the wonderful blessings in my life. It might take a while and that makes me smile. Do you dream? It makes perfect sense that those dreams can darken or become illuminated based entirely on how we feel about ourselves. How many dreams have been totally darkened by the constant shadow of obesity? Not anymore. Not ever again. I'm putting a spotlight on my dreams. What about you? Goodnight and...
Too dark of a pic---But anyway...The facial hair will be gone the next time you see me!