Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Day 289 The Big Little Things

Day 289

The Big Little Things

I notice the small things a bunch these days. Like the bones in my hands. I can see them! Even the tendons in my feet are starting to show. Well, I don't actually see them, I just see the outline of them. My biceps, as puny as they are right now, they show through. If I hold my leg just right, I can see the outline of my leg muscles. I'm easily entertained. The girls like to watch movies for entertainment, I just need a bathroom with a big mirror. That's entertainment enough for me right now. Don't get the wrong idea, I'm not full of myself or anything, I'm not...far from it, but I love marveling at the physical changes in me. I love my dimples that have been hidden since I was a kid. I love looking straight ahead at a mirror and actually seeing both of my ears. My eyes look bigger. Not freaky bigger, just bigger...more prominent a feature of my face. Less face, same eyes...makes sense. I like sitting on the couch and folding one of my legs up. I couldn't do that before. I'm still not at the point where I can cross my legs, but you just wait, I'll be a leg crosser someday. I'll sit there and rest my hand on my shoe, as a way to say, “check this out, I'm a leg crosser.” I'm still not a tucker. I've never been a shirt tucker. If a job required my shirt to be tucked, I would walk. Lucky for me I haven't ever worked somewhere like that. I know the owner of our radio stations reads this blog, I'm sure we'll get a memo tomorrow mandating that all shirts be tucked in at all times. He has a fun sense of humor. As much as I've developed and evolved along this journey, it's still hard to imagine a shirt tucking-leg crossing version of me. But that's where I'm headed. A leg crossing, shirt tucking, slim trim, neat, well groomed kind of a guy. I'm so impatient. I wanna see those “after” pictures! Those pictures are going to blow all the previous “in progress” pics out of the water!

After talking so extensively about my experiences in stand-up in last night's blog, I decided to wonder over to www.seanboy.net and see if it still existed. My cousin Kristen has maintained it all these years, even put the copyright 2009 at the bottom. I sincerely appreciate her help and belief in me. I invite you to check it out. You'll see my old big fat head shot. Click on “bio,” and instead of a bio, you'll see a picture of me and my little brother Shane. Shane loved it when I'd take him to the comedy clubs. Hanging out at “the comics table” in the back made him feel so wonderful. He had a chance to meet so many of his favorite comics, and everyone was so kind. They loved Shane. Everyone loved Shane, he was such a pure spirit. I miss him horribly. If he were alive today, I know that he'd be headed in the same direction as me on this journey. He looked up to me so much, I never felt worthy of his unconditional love and admiration of his big brother. He was so special. I don't know if I ever really dealt properly with my grief in losing Shane, because these past few sentences have ripped my heart. I miss him so much.

On that site, you can also listen to audio clips from a performance at Laffs Comedy Club in Albuquerque, New Mexico from January 2003. I just finished listening to them. The audio quality isn't the best, my voice was hoarse, and I cringe at some of the material. But it's there if you're curious.

Courtney insisted on treating us to dinner tonight at one of our favorite restaurants. I've written about JW Cobbs before, it's a down home country cookin' kind of place. Their specialty is chicken fried steak smothered in cream gravy. We didn't order that. We all ordered the “senior” portions. I had the chopped beef steak with a half baked potato and a serving of corn. I know, two starches, pardon me...I'm just not that advanced yet. You know me, calories in---calories out. I count the calories in and I don't count the calories out. I keep it way simple. Anyway, it was a nice dinner out. We enjoyed it, and giving the waitress our weigh in update was fun. Even if it did annoy the people at the next table. I don't think they cared to hear about our weight loss success as they dined on the house specialty. That waitress has watched us shrink from the beginning. She remembers the old Sean and the old ordering habits. She could tell you my style...Extra rolls, extra gravy, chicken fried steak, fries, fried okra, and maybe even desert. And I wouldn't leave a bit of it on the platter. She can't help but notice the differences not only in our appearances but our choices. It's dramatic.

Our workout was wonderful last night, a little too late at night, but it was good. Except for the stranger that struck up a conversation with me about an exercise infomercial out of the clear blue. He was running, and right as he was about to pass me, he slowed down to my power walking pace and started talking. I did participate in the conversation, but I wasn't completely willing. I don't want to be rude, but when I'm out there, I'm working out! I'm usually lost in my music and pushing myself hard to get the best workout I can. I'm certainly not there to talk to anyone but myself. Had it been someone I knew, maybe I wouldn't have been so annoyed. Of course someone that knows me already understands my philosophy out there. I'm not there to visit. We can visit later when we're finished! I'm heading out now (a little earlier than last night—thank goodness) to get one in! Thank you for reading, goodnight and...

Good Choices,
Sean

8 comments:

  1. That is funny to think about eating at the same place as you "used" to... and having a waitress that served you when you lived a different lifestyle. What encouragement!! A testament to how much you have changed- being able to go back into a place that previously offered so much temptation!

    Thank you for the nice words today.

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  2. My sister used to make fun of me for standing in front of the mirror and smiling.....now I know I'm not the only one who has odd mirror issues ;)
    Oh please don't be a leg crosser--that looks so gay (no offense to the male leg crossers who may be reading...its just my opinion!)
    I'm speechless about the paragraph about your brother. I wish I had some perfect words to say, but I don't. "I'm sorry" just doesn't seem like enough, but I AM sorry. :(
    I will probably listen to your audio clips tomorrow--- the kids are sleeping just a few feet from me right now and I sure don't want to wake them.
    I always enjoy reading your posts.

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  3. Oh Sean you are such a funny guy. We really the jokes about the Wal-Mart greeter and the married at 17. I'm glad you don't tell fat jokes anymore. It's kind of sad.

    Really sorry about the loss of your brother. Is that the brother that you mention in your lose to win videos? I'm sure he would have joined you on this journey, but I am also sure he is very proud of what you have achieved.

    Blessings on you Sean and the family. We wouldn't be doing this without you!

    Bonnie & Andy

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  4. I'm so with you on that! I don't go to gym to socialize... That's what the sauna afterward is for! But when I'm working out, I want to focus, not chat.

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  5. Sometimes I give my hubby "The Look" if he's trying chat me up while I'm sweating away. I ain't tryna have that-zip it! lol

    Very cool at the restaurant. What an awesome feeling :)

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  6. I'm with you on the not talking while working out bit - except when I'm training for a marathon. In fact, one of the tips to know that you're training at the correct pace on a long run is that you're able to hold a conversation. Some of my best memories are of me and my old running partner doing a 20 miler and he's talking away entertaining me with great stories. But at the gym or in my Thai Boxing class? Shut up please.

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  7. Sean, I stare at myself in the mirror too. My husband tells me that I act like a teenage boy, haha. I can't help it! It's nice to notice those changes in my appearance!

    Thanks for commenting on my blog. You were my first commenter! Do you know if there is a way to receive an email notification when someone comments on your blog? I would have never saw it if I hadn't looked.

    Anyway, it's awesome to watch your continued success. You truly are an inspiration to me and everyone you come in contact with. I am honored to witness your journey!

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  8. Congrats on all your success and that of your beautiful family too. I need help with portion control. I have weighed and measured but when I get to where I can't I totally blow it. Can you take some pictures of some of your meals? I think these visuals might help. Thanks so much, keep up the good work.

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