Monday, March 8, 2010

Day 539 A Good Sunday and M&M's Too

Day 539

A Good Sunday and M&M's Too

Sunday was a good day, despite the fact that I wasn't able to make it to Stillwater for the Anderson Family Oscar party. I've missed maybe four or five of these my entire life. I was meeting with a friend today that offered to fix my front brakes. I wasn't able to meet until late with him, so I decided it better to wait until another time for the trip South.

I enjoyed a good breakfast and a decent workout this morning. Ok...I say “morning,” when actually it was early afternoon, but it was still good. I'm feeling so good about so many things directly ahead for me, and at the same time I'm often consumed with stress over other issues. New paragraph!

I realized one of my problems today. Problems? Yes, problems. You see...there are certain things I do not write about, because it wouldn't be appropriate. I do not write about my new experiences in dating and I do not write about personal financial issues. Let's just say that going through a divorce can create a whole new world of stressful issues, and it has. But I can't write about those here, so instead I internalize those things, sit and simmer over them, and that can't be healthy. I may start a private journal for my eyes and therapy only. One of the biggest things I've discovered along this weight loss road is how important sorting everything out through writing can be. I'm a writer, a communicator, and a thinker---sometimes I think too much, but sometimes that's not a bad thing. It's certainly helped me unlock my weight loss potential.

I stopped by the store this evening to pick up some pears and steel cut oats. In the checkout line I grabbed a small package of peanut M&M's. 250 calories worth of candy coated chocolaty-peanutty goodness. I allowed for this, put it in my calorie budget, and slowly enjoyed the indulgence while watching the last 45 minutes of the Oscars telecast. Oscar parties are a tradition in the Anderson family, and the snack table was always full. I've made myself sick in years past—loading up on all of the goodies several times during the awards. I think I often looked forward to the snack fest more than I did the awards. Not tonight. I enjoyed my candy and I enjoyed the big categories with a peaceful confidence that my days of gorging on junk are over. It would have been more enjoyable with company, but it was nice really.

In my daily exercise of reading a post from the previous year---I found that March 7th, 2009 was the big Amber-daddy day! We conquered Olive Garden that night! That's right---Olive Garden on a calorie budget. They said it couldn't be done...Oh yeah? Watch us! I've attached a couple of the On The Go Videos of that night below. It was a fabulous time indeed! Here's an excerpt from that days blog:

In our excellent adventure, we wanted to do something we had never done together, or otherwise. We decided that we should release some aggression and fire a real handgun. First of all, I don’t like guns. Never have, probably never will. I don’t own one, I’ve never wanted one, and I don’t plan on owning one ever. I doubt that will change. And it’s not the guns that make me nervous, it’s the people holding them. Ok, it’s the guns too. My extreme caution tonight at the gun range might have been comical to some, but I wasn’t trying to be. We handled that gun like the entire world depended on it’s safety and containment. Like it was some kind of global threat that we were responsible for keeping in check. After careful instruction on how to load the ten round clip, and some basic safety precautions, we made our way onto the range with the biggest, well, the only gun we’ve ever handled, a powerful and rugged looking .22 pistol with a clip, just like in the movies! As soon as we walked in the range area we were startled by what must have been a cannon firing in bay number 7. That gun had a blast that you felt vibrate in your bones. We jumped like scared little rabbits, then gave each other a look of “should we really be here?” But we had come this far, so we made our way into bay number 12 and loaded up, still jumping everytime Dirty Harry in bay 7 jerked his iron. We must have provided some comic relief to every gun enthusiast on the range. Because they weren’t jumping at all. After fumbling with the bullets, and treating each one like it could “go off” any second like a short-fast fuse on a firecracker, we were fully loaded and ready. Then, we busted some caps! It was amazing! After squeezing off the first clip full, our nerves were gone, and we settled in and enjoyed the experience. After 100 rounds, I’m still not convinced I’ll ever own one, but it was certainly an experience Amber and I will never forget as long as we live.

Despite every reason to not feel my best, I feel pretty good. I'm so glad I am where I am. I don't think I could handle everything as well if I were still a 500 pound man. I feel like I'm free to fly at 263. It's really an incredible feeling.

Thank you for reading. Goodnight and...

Good Choices,
Sean


Video from exactly one year ago. Olive Garden... No problem!


Watch out! She's got a gun!

12 comments:

  1. I never thought about it before...but we all have "weight loss potential" don't we. And congrats on conquering the M&Ms. Thanks for sharing your journey.

    Melissa

    ReplyDelete
  2. Great shooting story. Recently got my concealed weapons licence and put it to good use when a Wolf-hybrid began to attack during my evening hike. The "dog's" owner obviously wasn't gonna do a thing to stop it. The next words out of my mouth sent the owner into action, prevented bloodshed, and shocked even me: "I've got a gun and I WILL use it."

    Man, you can get all kinds of courage along this journey. It sure comes out in very surprising ways.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Sean, I had a good first week (of my calorie bank). Thanks so much for your support. Good job on the M&M's...they are goodness (in small packages).

    ReplyDelete
  4. You don't ever have to internalize anything. I am here for you. Always.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Your idea of writing a separate journal for the really personal stuff is a good one. It's a fine line between blogging and oversharing isn't it?

    ReplyDelete
  6. Sean, I just had to pop over and say what an inspiration you are. Everytime I feel like giving up, I come back here and read your uplifting story. You've learned so much about yoruself through this journey and, as much as you've shrunk, you've grown too.

    ReplyDelete
  7. I'll dig my 9mm out of the closet and take you to the firing range when you get down here. :)

    ReplyDelete
  8. Shawn,

    I don't know if you've ever thought about going ziplining! Its something that you can't do when your obese and very similar to riding a roller coaster - I think you and Courtney would love it! I'm sure you could even do it for free if you would review a place on your blog. I recently just did it and it was amazing.

    Eventually all this divorce stuff will pass. And remember that personal finance really is just easier to figure out than all of the emotional weight issues.

    -Serena

    ReplyDelete
  9. Yes good job on the m an m's...I should have just bought a small package of stuff..

    ReplyDelete
  10. I guess with the stress of morbid obesity behind you it must make other stress easier to deal with. I know I have a 'stress threshold' and it can be a tiny thing to send me into a spin if the underlying issues are there.

    Your posts always give me something new to think about. Thank you.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Such a very good video. thanks for sharing it.

    ReplyDelete

I sincerely appreciate you taking the time to leave a comment. Thank you for your support!






Copyright © 2008-2017 Sean A. Anderson

The Daily Diary of a Winning Loser. All rights reserved.