Sunday, February 1, 2009

Day 140 A Super Sunday and Living Up To Potential

Day 140

A Super Sunday and Living Up To Potential

After a shaky Saturday, it felt good to have a super Sunday. We had a wonderful workout at the YMCA today. I feel really good when I get in there and really work. We're only three days away from a monumental weigh day. It's going to be a big one. I'll have officially passed the 100 pound mark, plus I should be in the 390's. That's going to be a great weigh day!

Why is it so important for me to go all the way on this journey without fail? One word: Potential. That word has haunted me my entire life. I've always had “potential.” We all do, but aside from being a good dad, I've always fell short of mine. It started in grade school when the teacher would tell my mom that if I would apply myself, I had the potential to be a straight A student. In junior high, the assistant principle called me in his office and discussed the potential I possessed athletically. I was a large boy and he wanted to mold me into a powerhouse football player. All I had to do was follow his coaching and get in that weight room everyday after school. He could see potential. During my teen years I excelled at putting (organized Putt-Putt leagues) but still I wasn't living up to my potential. After three trips to nationals in Memphis, my best was 36th in the championship. They don't even give you a participation ribbon for 36th. I had the potential to become a champion putter, but fell short every time. In high school Mr. West challenged me to make an A in his class. He knew I had the potential and I knew he was using psychology on me, but I showed him anyway when I turned in the effort and ended up with a 103% A+. In my radio career I've been told that I have the potential to someday be a major market personality. Well, maybe I'm not finished working on that potential. In my stand-up comedy career, the word “potential” was used from my very first performance. I'll never forget the laughter that night. When I exited the stage, the bartender told me it gave him goosebumps to see how well I did. Goosebumps? Wow, I must have potential! I remember an MC in a Dallas club telling the audience after I finished my set, “remember that name, cause he's going places.” And when a talent coordinator for CBS took a liking to me, I knew I had to move to Los Angeles. Because I had potential by golly! When I became a paid regular at the Hollywood Improv in less than a month and a half after arriving, well...my potential was obviously clear. I also had potential to be a great Dad, and that was far more important than any bright lights of Hollywood. I'm cruising along in the daddy and husband department and living up to my potential there everyday. But I can't say the same for any other area in my life. I've never lived up to my potential when it comes to losing weight. I have the potential to go all the way and become trim and fit for the first time in my entire life. And I'm not letting this potential slip away. Not this one, because it's extremely critical to every other part of my life. I have potential to really do something wonderful here. And there isn't a food that taste good enough or a couch that is comfortable enough to keep me from what I have to do to reach my goals. I'm tired and fed up with doing things half way. I'm sickened by all the wasted “potential” I've left behind. That is what drives me to attack each day with an attitude of a winner. I'm going to win this battle against my weight. And when I feel shaky, I have to ask myself questions. Why am I feeling this way? What are the consequences if I make too many bad choices? What have I learned along the way? I've learned that changing lifelong bad habits is a lot of work. But it's so worth it! So I keep on track, day in and day out, and I write about it every night. If I didn't have this time every night with my thoughts and feelings, I can't say how I'd be doing right now. Writing every night forces me to analyze my feelings, my weaknesses, my victories, and it forces me to constantly renew my strength. For anyone starting a journey like this, I highly recommend writing and keeping a journal or diary. If you want the accountability factor, then make it public, if not, then at least keep a personal diary of how you feel about each day. I've let myself down too many times and this will not be one of them. How do I know? Because like I've said many times before, I've decided. This decision is like the biggest bull dozer in the world. There's not an excuse that can get in the way without getting bulldozed.

I think this is the first Super Bowl Sunday in my life where I didn't use it as an excuse to eat a bunch of stuff. We didn't even watch the game. I've never done that before, miss the Super Bowl?...Very strange. I guess we're just really focused on other things right now. Tonight we visited the funeral home in Stillwater to see my Aunt Violet and then met up with family. We had dinner with my mom, grandma, and Kelli, and said goodbye to Amber as she hurried back to college. No chips and dip around here tonight, probably the first Super Bowl Sunday in my life where I didn't have chips and dip.

My calories were perfect today, our workout at the YMCA was excellent, and tonight I'll hit the pillow feeling proud of this weekend. I'll keep on going and I hope you keep on reading. Your support is a gift to me. Thank you. Until next time, good night and...

Good Choices,
Sean

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