A Challenging Saturday and Staying Away From The “Line”
Some days are easier than others. Today was not one of them. I've made it through a tough Saturday with my calorie limit in tact, barely, and a horrible effort in the exercise department. There's no excuse, and you know you aren't going to hear one here. The plan was simple today. Sleep late, take Courtney to work, finish some stuff at the studio, go shopping, then pick Courtney up and go to the YMCA for a good workout, then take Amber and KL to a great little Mexican restaurant in town. Most of that list was accomplished accept the most important, going to the YMCA. We decided to work out either on the walking trail or Sweatin' To The Oldies. We opted for Richard Simmons. I'm sorry Richard, but I have a hard time replicating the same intensity as I get at the Y. I did get the heart rate up, but nothing like pushing 3.6 mph on that treadmill or doing a 20 minute bike ride. I will not allow tomorrow to be without a really tough workout at the YMCA. Amber and KL were good sports in doing the Sweatin' work out too. My strategy at the restaurant went awry as well. I wanted to get out of there under 500 calories, and I could have done it with a couple of tacos and a limited amount of chips and salsa. Instead, I used over 900 calories, leaving me just under 200 for the rest of the day. This is exactly what I did the last time I enjoyed that place, and this time I vowed would be different. If this were last weekend, I would have had zero trouble sticking to my meal limit. But so goes this daily journey. It's never the same. Some days are very easy and you're in a bullet proof zone, then others test every ounce of will power you can muster. But I know it isn't one day that decides the final outcome of this mission. It's putting one day behind another and learning along the way. I remind myself all the time that I'm going to have to write about this day regardless of my performance. It's not all bad. Bad would have been drinking a bowl of cheese dip and eating a plate of sopapias with real butter and honey. For the record, I had a small piece of Cortney's sopapia without any added calories in butter. She didn't use any butter either. Aside from the food we had a great dinner conversation. While we were waiting for a table, I stood away from everyone else and I overheard my family talking about how much smaller and better I looked. They didn't think I could hear them, but I could, and I enjoyed it thoroughly as I stood there trying not to smile, thank you fam!
I've had three different people in the last two days tell me how much they enjoyed my “Thank You” letter to morbid obesity from Day 135. I appreciate that, it makes me feel good. And writing it made me feel awesome. I've allowed my weight to shape my entire life until now. It has effected everything I've done. And losing it and becoming a natural size will effect the rest of my life in many ways. Aside from the potentially longer life, I don't really know what those changes will be or could be, but I'm excited to find out. I do know that when I reach my goal and have maintained a lifestyle of being in shape, I'd like to speak to morbidly obese people and help them too. There is hope. When I tell someone about the blog, especially if they have a lot to lose like me, I always tell them to go back and start with day 1 to get the full perspective. Sometimes I might make this process sound easy, but it didn't start out too easy. When you can barely walk a quarter mile and a Wal-Mart trip is considered a big workout, it's not easy. But it gradually gets easier and easier. It's a one day at a time deal. And if you can stay with it long enough, you will see and feel the difference. I have and I'm not even half way done.
I constantly have to keep myself ahead of that “line of least resistance.” It's too easy to just not do this. The line of least resistance is what put me up over 500 pounds for so long. The line of least resistance has an all you cant eat buffet, where you never worry about calories. It has comfy sofas and beds, and not a treadmill anywhere remotely close. Every comfort and indulgence is readily available at that line. But it's not free. It cost you dearly. It takes away so much from your life while pretending to be your best friend. So is staying away from that line effortless? No, not even a little bit. But is it worth the effort? Absolutely. Because the rewards of getting healthy and losing weight gives me more than any false friendship that line provides. It's real positive stuff my friend. I can't imagine the potential yet. It's too far reaching to calculate. And the cost of success? Exercise and learning how to limit portions. And I still get to rest when I need to, and I still get to eat whatever I want, I still get to enjoy myself. Moving this body and eating less is a small price to pay for all the rewards it can bring. Good night and...