Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Day 149 The "Things You Can No Longer Do" Chart

Day 149

The “Things You Can No Longer Do” Chart

There are so many things that I've let my weight stand in the way of enjoying. Either because I couldn't physically do it or I was too embarrassed to do it. I've always been extremely aware of these potentially embarrassing situations and avoided them completely. It's something that gradually happens. If only I would have had a chart as I gained that told me at what weight I could no longer enjoy things. The chart would be written to reflect my height and build, plus take into account my insecurities and crazy hang-ups. Somewhere between 275 and 325 that chart would have read “You can no longer ride a bike, jump a rope, comfortably jog, or sit on wicker furniture.” Then between 320 and 370, “You can no longer comfortably wear shorts in public, nor should you even think about squeezing into a two seater, and don't even try using a regular bathroom scale, you might break it.” Between 370 and 420: “You can no longer enjoy an amusement park with your children, so just settle on being that fat guy that waddles around watching everyone else have a blast, and if you need any clothing, you'll have to drive to the nearest major city with a real big and tall store, and just accept that the only thing you're going to do at any swimming pool is drop off the kids, oh, and remember actually being able to see certain areas of your body in the shower? Relax, they're still there, but you'll have to feel your way around to get to them.” Between 420 and 470 the chart would get much worse: “Clicking the seat belt might give you a hernia, close to 470? Don't even worry about it, because it's not clicking. Ok, your marriage will now suffer serious intimacy issues, because you're just too dang big. You can no longer fit comfortably in most chairs with arms. Don't try to ride in any car but your own big vehicle, because you probably wouldn't fit, and might break something if you tried. Go ahead and buy two seats for that flight, one for each half. You better check the sturdiness of any chair before you sit down, and stop flopping on the couch, you're gonna break it down! Buy some better shoes, because you're going through them like crazy. You can no longer hurry anywhere on foot, not even a little bit. If you ever need to run for your life, say from a wild bear, or crazed gunman, don't bother, just enjoy the last few seconds of your life without killing yourself.” And finally between 470 and 510: “You can't walk down the hall without breathing heavy. You will worry everyday about suddenly dying. While visiting at a friends house, a good friend will always point out the sturdiest place to sit. You can't even fit in some of the largest sizes at the big and tall store, better start thinking about having all of your clothes custom made. Have you pre-arranged your funeral? Just checking...you might want to think about that.” I know I'm missing a bunch of stuff that could have fit real well on that chart, and a couple of things up there are probably TMI, but certainly makes me think about things. I could have checked the chart everyday to see where I stood, but would it have stopped me? I seriously can't say.

Now I need a chart to remind me of everything I can do once again. That would be a fun chart to have! That's not a bad idea really. I should make a chart of things I can do at certain weights. One of the things I've avoided my entire life is dancing. I would do the wave with my arms and my signature “head from side to side” move, but that was the extent of my break dancing career. I don't want to break dance, I want to ballroom dance. Like they do on the magic box! I'm completely ashamed to say what I'm about to say, but here ya go: Believe it or not, I've never really danced with my wife of nearly twenty years. What's horrible about that is, she really would love to dance and has always longed to dance. So I'll put that on the list of things I will do when I reach my ultimate goal...Learn how to really dance with my beautiful lady.

As we approach the five month mark of this journey, I have to say that I've learned so much along the way. When I wasn't sure about getting past day 60, I held on and made it. Now I'm in a very nice place where my habits and actions are becoming a comfortable routine. I'll never stop learning along the way, because learning is the only way to develop, to become stronger and wiser. Today was a perfect day calorie wise and as soon as I pick up Courtney from tutoring class, we'll log another at least two miles. I had to cover severe weather on the air this evening, so a Y trip unfortunately wasn't an option. But the trail is open and I believe the rain has stopped. We need to get after it! Good night and...

Good Choices,

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