One Hundred Days After The Toughest
Tonight I went back and read Day 60. What a difference another 100 days makes. I remember that night vividly. I was ready to completely dive off the wagon that night. I was dealing with personal family issues that night, and the mood it put me in was one of complete carelessness. I was out of calories that day and I was fighting the urge to drown my frustrations over personal issues with food. I just knew that a half gallon of ice cream would make it all better. This blog saved me that night. I knew that I had to face this computer screen no matter what I did that night. And after writing that first paragraph, the crazy urges subsided a little, and I decided to go straight to bed instead. I remember waking the next morning feeling like I dodged a bullet. Day 60 was not a fun day. I haven't had a day that bad since, and if I do have a day that bad, I'm confident I can handle it responsibly without abusing myself with over-eating. It's a learning and growing process every step of the way.
This morning I traveled to The Gaylord School of Journalism at The University of Oklahoma. I had the pleasure of judging some entries for the state wide college broadcast journalism awards. It was a wonderful experience! They had some coffee and pastries ready for breakfast, and although I never have a bagel for breakfast, it seemed like the only good choice among those dominated by cinnamon rolls. I had a half bagel with a little cream cheese for 175. I enjoyed a couple of eggs with salsa three hours earlier, so I was doing just fine until lunch. Lunch was from Jason's Deli. I chose the turkey sandwich with mustard, no mayo, no cheese for 300 and a bag of potato chips that came in at 150. Yes, I had potato chips! Something else I very rarely consume, not because I can't, I just don't like the calorie value. My calories are precious! I'm issued 1,500 a day, and when they're gone, they're gone. So I always try to get the most bang for my calorie. By making good calorie value choices, I'm almost never hungry. Oh yeah, there was a cookie in my lunch. Did I have the calories to eat a cookie? Sure. Did I want to spend a couple of hundred calories for it? No way. Calorie counting is teaching me about portion size and control while allowing me to adapt to any situation. I didn't have to sit there and go without, or eat a meal replacement bar or shake while everyone else had a real normal persons lunch. I was able to enjoy the same lunch as everyone else, even potato chips, and still feel confident and secure that the integrity of my plan hadn't been breached. There's just no substitute for regular food. I've always felt it pointless to go on a weight loss plan that requires you to eat anything other than normal food. Why? Simple: Because I want life long results. In order for me to have that, I have to learn how to handle, understand, and learn how to responsibly enjoy regular foods. I'm not going to drink meal replacement shakes or bars, or have all my food delivered to me for the rest of my life, or eat only cabbage soup forever, or take diet pills for eternity. For me, it's all about learning to make good choices from what is available around me in everyday life situations. If we're having a cookout, I'm eating what everyone else does. If we're invited out to dinner with friends, I'm eating right along with them. If we're having a watch party, I'll snack with the rest of 'em. But I'll do it with a new way of thinking. If you go back and read some of the things I've consumed in the last 160 days, perhaps you would be perplexed how I could possibly be nearly 120 pounds lighter. And I don't pretend to know everything. I still have plenty to learn about food and nutrition and how it can help or hurt me. I'm an eager student, willing to learn from people like Dr. Amy, “that guy” with the perfect physique, and the many health professionals and experts assembled by Ponca City Medical Center for the “Lose To Win” program. This isn't a temporary weight loss, I refuse to allow that, I'm doing it right this time, and I'll never again feel 500 pounds dragging me down, as a matter of fact, I'll never again feel 400 pounds dragging me down.
While at the judging event today I ran into a fellow judge that helped me develop tremendously in my broadcasting career. Jeff Couch, who is now at Bob FM in Oklahoma City, was my PD at Star 103 in Tulsa. That was fourteen years ago! I've only ran into him once in the last five years before today, and he noticed the weight loss immediately! We caught up on old times and spoke at length about a former boss we had in common in the legendary late Jerry Vaughn. We both have tremendous respect for Jerry and it was a fun conversation. We also talked at length about this blog and my journey. Sometimes I feel like I'm talking too much, but I can't help it really. When you're feeling better than you have your entire adult life, the passion just flows out about it. I wish every person that is trapped by obesity could learn that they have the key to unlock the weight loss mystery, they just have to use it. But Jeff was very nice, he listened, asked questions, and promised he would read the blog and we agreed to try to stay in touch. Great guy.
Courtney and I put on our walking shoes and hit the trail tonight despite the cold and wind chill breeze. We bundled up real good, turned on our i-pod's and started truckin' around that trail. Consistency equals results. The results are determined, good or bad, by the consistency of my actions. If I consistently make good choices, I'll have good results. We have to get that workout no matter what. And if we miss, it must be a real honest good reason. Not many of those exist. Good night and...