May 10th, 2014 Didn't Even Give It A Thought
I didn't have any issues sleeping in this morning. It was still a little under five hours, but I made sure to grab a nap this afternoon. I'll have an opportunity for a full eight hours tonight! The new full face mask for my cpap machine is doing wonders for me. It's a dramatic difference in my energy level day to day. Getting good rest is crucial for this journey we share.
My first order of business today was a broadcast at an annual event for the Ponca City Library. This is the fourth year in a row for this broadcast and I've done it the last three. What was nice for me about this public appearance today was not experiencing negative feelings about weight gain. After getting past the panic attack Thursday night, I feel like I've crossed over into a healthier mental state. I was strong and confident today. A friend of mine told me I was hitting my stride and they're right. I believe this stride helps alleviate the negative emotions associated with gaining weight once lost, then returning to places, events and people who remember you much smaller. I didn't even give it a second thought today. Actually, I didn't give it a first thought until I started thinking about it long after the event came to a close.
It's not too hard to find numerous places in the archives of this blog where I am super excited and completely focused on success. I'm getting back into that mindset fairly quick and it's a great place to be. It's a powerful purpose driven pursuit, where time is divided into different sized chunks depending on my difficulty level on any given day. When I'm feeling like I did today, I'm looking ahead to all kinds of positives and when I'm feeling challenged and tested, my focus narrows down to just getting through that particular day, or even a specific day part or hour. My emotional/mental security is tightened and relaxed according to my perception in any given moment. And I'm very happy to report my perspective is dramatically improving.
I prepared fajita tostadas again tonight, this time with 93/7 lean ground turkey. I've prepared this meal three times this week, trying steak, chicken and now turkey and they're all good. I think my favorite is turkey. See the food pics on my twitter feed: www.twitter.com/seanaanderson
I decided on a late night walk at the trail for my exercise today. I took a trip to Braum's Ice Cream and Dairy Store before my walk. I know what it looks and sounds like--but no, I wasn't after a binge, I was after their grocery department for fruit, eggs and some of those Laughing Cow Lite Swiss cheese wedges. On my way into the store I ran into a couple of people I know really well. We exchanged pleasantries while walking in opposite directions, them leaving, me arriving. And it wasn't until I was inside the store that it dawned on me how they might have had the wrong impression. And I get that--most people don't go to Braum's for the fruit and eggs--most people go for the banana splits. I'm very careful and very deliberate when I walk in there now--I know what I'm after and I don't allow any deviations from my list, unless it's more of what's on my list or something else good for me. Believe me, I've had enough binge trips to Braum's over the years to last me a lifetime. I grabbed my stuff, checked out and headed to the trail.
I was planning on pushing for a 5K tonight but instead I stopped at 1.7 miles. I might need to consider a new pair of shoes. The top right hand side of my right foot starting hurting pretty good. I think my shoes are a touch too big and I'm not getting the kind of firm support I need. On the elliptical at the YMCA, it doesn't effect me because my feet stay planted in one position as my body moves. Walking (and perhaps running someday) requires a little more support.
Tomorrow I'm headed to Stillwater to see my mom and our visit will include a Mother's Day lunch out somewhere. I'm discouraging Mexican food. I love Mexican for a few reasons, aside from taste--I like that I can count calories quickly and easily with Mexican food...And I have some set personal rules that keep me in check when visiting a Mexican restaurant. We'll be picking another kind of place. I guess I should let mom pick the restaurant and I'll navigate the menu and calories wherever we end up. This could be interesting.
Thank you for reading,