Friday, July 3, 2015

July 3rd, 2015 The Warmest Confirmation of Good

July 3rd, 2015 The Warmest Confirmation of Good

I completely forgot about the pair of jeans that didn't fit. I bought them a few months ago, tried them on--they didn't fit, so I put them in the closet with the thought, give me a little while. 

I was looking around in the closet today, noticed a pair of jeans with the tags still affixed, remembered them and decided to give it a try. The fit was fantastic. These might instantly be my favorite jeans. It was a cool thing to experience.

My focus and attention was on rest and relaxation today and more line memorization and character development for the play I'm in July 17th through the 19th. I'm enjoying this experience immensely! There's something fun and exciting about really getting into a character. This experience has served as a big reminder of how much I love acting.

I prepared some good food for breakfast and lunch, then after my workout, enjoyed a dinner out at the Mexican place around the corner.

My workout tonight must have released an extra helping of endorphins because I literally felt high. A completely natural high, of course--just giddy happy, annoyingly so, I'm sure! 

It was a table for one at the restaurant, so I tweeted a little more than usual. I was almost seated in the same booth where my last relationship officially ended. I asked for a different booth, just because--you know? I wasn't in the mood for reminiscing. I was in a great mood! You can get an idea of my crazy good mood by checking out the tweets below.

When I feel this way, I get into a prime consciousness for writing stand-up material. I made a few notes tonight and I'm working on developing another venue for stand-up shows, soon.

About the dining alone thing. I don't always. Sometimes I'll ask a friend or loved one to go with me. You know, really--for me, someone who has had a few different relationships since my divorce five years ago, it's a good thing. I'm just now learning what it means, what it really feels like, to simply be okay with just me. I was always a little anxious without someone by my side. But now, it's truly different. 

The exploration that started with what I refer to as "Epiphany Day," May 15th, 2014, has made a profound difference in my personal happiness level and that's finally developed enough for me to simply be okay with being single.

A lot of talk happens and many pages are written about the importance of loving ourselves and in my experience it's incredibly easy to apply a surface treatment to it all, without any real substance. But when the associated and resulting behavior changes and these changes are easily tracked back to this inner growth, it's the warmest confirmation of good. 

When I feel like this, it goes hand in hand with taking extraordinary care of the fundamental elements that have brought me this far.

The past uncertainty I once believed to be tethered to my relationship status, created many issues within the relationships I experienced. It's a big personal freedom to realize it was actually attached to the uncertainty within me, about fully accepting and loving me, unconditionally. I had to figure out how to do that. I had to get to know me on a level I rarely took the time to explore.

I'm going to be just fine. And I can write that and say it aloud with conviction in my heart. And someday, I'm sure--I'll meet someone and fall head over heels, but unless I hit my head really hard--I'll not be lured by my desire to fix an uncertainty within me, I already have certainty. This growth has the potential to help make any future relationship much better.

How did I get into all of this anyway? Oh--dining alone, the booth...yeah... feeling good, that...that's right.

I'm traveling to my hometown tomorrow to pick up mom for the 4th of July weekend. She'll join me for my annual location broadcast from the lake and fireworks display. My youngest daughter and my grandson also plan on joining us. Mom will stay a few days with me and we'll all celebrate Noah's 2nd birthday on Monday. I'll have some really good family time, straight ahead!

My Tweets Today:


































Thank you for reading and your continued support,
Strength,
Sean

6 comments:

  1. Get a real plant! When does your grandson turn 2? My little grandson kash turns 2 on July 11th:) life is good!

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    1. LOL...Yes, I need some real plants! Something easy to take care of... Noah turns 2 on Monday the 6th! Awe--our grandsons are the same age--5 days apart! Life is good, indeed!

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  2. I can't say enough how much I love your positive attitude. Cool find on the new jeans. I wish I lived closer so I could see your acting in person. I bet you're a natural. Have a great Independence Day with your mom and family. My husband and I will be relaxing at home and probably watching movies. I also plan to take him for a small walk this morning. Take care Sean.

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    1. LTR-- I wish you could see this play! It's so much fun! Thank you, LTR--this mental/emotional clarity has really come about in the last year... Better than ever before...very real experience.
      Mom and I had a wonderful time! Hope yours was awesome, too! Take care!!

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  3. Happy 4th ! I hope your weekend is fantastic!
    2 things.
    one... congrats on the jeans! Love that feeling!
    two... man, get a real plant! LOL Nothing says bachelor like a fake plant in your house.... Get a spider plant.. it will grow like crazy and be beautiful! not judging.. :)

    Rosie

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    Replies
    1. Thank you, on both counts!! The jeans are awesome--love them!
      The fake plant does scream "bachelor!!!!" :)
      Spider plant??? I hate spiders. Just a name, right--it doesn't resemble a bunch of spiders, does it? I don't think I could handle that. LOL
      Rosie, you're awesome. Thank you!

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