I'll never forget the excitement I felt on the evening of November 12th, 2010, when I found this in my email:
My name is Michelle and I am an Associate Producer for The Rachael Ray Show. I came across your blog and would love to talk to you more about your amazing story. If you could please call me at ***-***-**** or leave a number where you can be reached at, I would greatly appreciate it!
Thanks so much and I look forward to speaking with you!
My brain immediately starting racing into all the possibilities this might create. I was four days away from hitting my initial goal of 230 pounds and wow, what perfect timing, I thought. I couldn't call her fast enough, so the next day--after telling pretty much every family member, friend and casual acquaintance about how "I might be on Rachael Ray," I made the call.
She asked a lot of questions and I gave a lot of detailed answers. She then explained a little about the idea for a segment and how my participation might work well. Then... nothing.
Days passed, then a week--then two--and the questions from family and friends came, "Hey Sean, when will you be on The Rachael Ray Show?" Uhg... I shouldn't have said a word!!
Naturally, I blamed myself. Then, I proceeded to torture myself with thoughts of what did I say? Did I come on too strong? Maybe it's because my approach isn't attached to a big plan/system/product or maybe my philosophical explanations of the perspective shifts I implemented were just too much--maybe I sounded crazy!!!! Oh, I bet that was it-- I sounded like an overly passionate lunatic!!
Life Coach Gerri Helms came to my emotional rescue with some sound advice and perspective. I don't remember the exact quote, but I'll paraphrase-- Let it go. Whatever happened very likely had zero to do with you. They probably ditched the segment idea and you were no longer needed. Don't take it personal. Stop that. Yeah--it was something very close to that right there.
It's now over five years later. And the truth, in hindsight: I wasn't ready for that show in any way, shape or form. I hit goal and found that the very thing I thought would "make me happy," didn't.
My perspective, my expectations, my focus--was all wrong. I still had much to learn--and I'm still learning to this day--that doesn't stop, ever.
I had a year and a half of maintenance in front of me. I also had what has turned out to be the best thing I could have experienced--The humbling of a one hundred sixty-four pound regain. Yes, you read that correctly-- the best thing.
What I learned about myself during that period and what I've learned throughout the last two years of this turnaround from relapse/regain, has provided me the most beautiful gifts. I restocked my toolbox with some different tools. I've experienced epiphanies on self-worth/identity that continue to resonate in life changing ways, every single day. The fact of me being at a weight more than twenty pounds less than my initial goal--a weight I haven't experienced since ten years old, is really the least of my blessings.
I'm no longer searching for validation, acceptance and love--because I found it. Funny, it was within me the whole time--but I was convinced I had to find it externally. It's like searching for lost keys only to find them later, in your pocket.
(For more about "epiphany day" and the "secret of happiness,"--read the archived entries from May 15th and May 19th, 2014)
Now, my perspective is very different. And that's a very good--and an emotionally healthy thing. Now, when things come my way--I don't approach them the same way. For instance...
The Today Show called yesterday. After three relatively short conversations, they invited me to be on the show Monday April 11th. The flight was booked today.
I'm honored to be invited into Joy Bauer's Joy Fit Club! I am super excited, as you might imagine!!
But I'm also grounded. And that's refreshing.
It will not be about my book or blog--and I don't expect that at all. It's about The Joy Fit Club--my story and a few minutes of questions, answers and maybe some kind of cool visual aid display. There will be dramatic "before and now" pictures--and I'll be right there, in 30 Rockefeller Plaza, taking it all in with an excited calm and clarity.
My expectations are as follows: A free trip to New York. A driver holding a sign with my name on it at the airport (I've always wanted to experience that), a nice hotel room and an appearance on an amazing show. That's it.
It's an honor to be invited and I'm immensely grateful for the opportunity! I still can't believe it! You know, I've watched others on this segment, some I know from the world of weight loss blogging --and it's always fun, and I'm always so happy for them. And now I'll get to see what it's like, firsthand!
I'm thrilled. Holy crap--I'm gonna be on The Today Show!!
Today was a great day in many ways. I maintained the integrity of my maintenance calorie budget, I prepared some fantastic food, I remained abstinent from refined sugar, I exceeded my water goal, I had a great workout, I was active in one on one and group support interactions--and I had a very productive day at the studio. I'm hitting the pillow feeling the peace and contentment of another solid day. I'll do my best at aiming for the same, tomorrow!
Today's Live-Tweet Stream:
Fast: two cups water- 20 push-ups - 10 squats, before coffee. Takes literally, 4-5 min. Feels great. In a hurry!! pic.twitter.com/wMx96Hvg8I— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) April 5, 2016
Good Tuesday morning! Dark roast with two tablespoons half & half X 2 cups. 80 cal. pic.twitter.com/q1pS4wxW9l— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) April 5, 2016
Breakfast in MFP... pic.twitter.com/XYeueDcnhd— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) April 5, 2016
4.3oz banana with 32g natural peanut butter, 5oz orange & 7.3oz pear. 452 cal. pic.twitter.com/PmtyuNqK52— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) April 5, 2016
Midmorning coffee with two tablespoons half & half. 40 cal. pic.twitter.com/HtTsdudnaP— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) April 5, 2016
Lunch in MFP... pic.twitter.com/U4gneGzSiR— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) April 5, 2016
2 whl egg & 2 whts w/2oz mshrms, red peppr, jalapeños, 1-Asiago, provolone, Mozz & muenster. 4.8oz apple. 489 cal. pic.twitter.com/EZbz2Yc1lk— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) April 5, 2016
Afternoon dark roast with three tablespoons half & half. 60 cal. pic.twitter.com/frNsgkDJVq— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) April 5, 2016
Pizza? Why not? Late afternoon holdover something, in MFP... pic.twitter.com/copn7KX6EF— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) April 5, 2016
Fit&Active SF Flatbread w/62g (1/2 srv) Priana SF marinara, 2.2oz mshrms, 1.5oz mini peppers & 3 slices Mozz. 315cal pic.twitter.com/0AgioejOd0— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) April 5, 2016
Oxymoron: An 8.3oz "petite" sirloin. ;) pic.twitter.com/OkjbbBL7u7— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) April 6, 2016
Dinner in MFP... pic.twitter.com/HPzY4SZX61— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) April 6, 2016
8.3oz sirloin, 3.2oz grilled mini sweet peppers, 238g fresh cut & baked sweet potato fries w/3secOOSpray. 648 cal. pic.twitter.com/9LhNHNe57d— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) April 6, 2016
Workout time. 2.5 cup water bottle refill exceeds #watergoal by 24oz. Climbing aboard the magical elliptical ride! pic.twitter.com/wnmT6d9k7s— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) April 6, 2016
Oh, wow. That was good. Max level 20/30 minutes. #endorphinrelease #naturalhigh pic.twitter.com/BvVa1KMamH— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) April 6, 2016
Thank you for reading and your continued support,