Sunday, October 20, 2019

October 20th, 2019 The Jury Is Still Out

October 20th, 2019 The Jury Is Still Out

Since our last edition, I've maintained the integrity of my calorie budget, I've remained refined sugar-free, I've met or exceeded my daily water goal, I enjoyed a good cardio workout session at the Recplex, and I've stayed well connected with exceptional support.

What a wonderful weekend! I'm so very grateful. Having my oldest daughter Amber, my son in law KL, and little Raegan staying with me was a lot of fun. My heart is full tonight as I write this recap. Any week that includes quality time with both of my daughters and seeing all four of my grandkids is a super blessed week.

As I sat down for breakfast this morning, Raegan made her way over and wanted up in my lap. She had finished hers but couldn't help but notice a few different things on my plate that intrigued her, apparently. I gave her a few bites of avocado and she seemed to be okay with it--but then she abruptly started to decline the avocado invitation. The jury is still out on Raegan's avocado experience.

My two location broadcasts yesterday went very well. There's always free food at events like this and yesterday was no exception. I enjoyed a good on-plan meal prior and some almonds and cheese in between. The food offered was not "my food." The miracle of neutrality in food situations like this is something for which I have immense gratitude. It almost never fails, someone will mention "you sure have good will power," and it happened again at yesterday's second broadcast. But I assure you, it isn't will power.

Will power doesn't work for me. I have very little. It is a miracle for me because trust me, there was a time when I'd leave an event like that completely wrecked in the food. Here's the rub: This "food sobriety" isn't permanent. It must be renewed each and every day. I must be willing to wake up each new day and humbly admit, I don't ever "got this." All I got is a daily practice of things that help by acting as rails to guide me through one more day. The elements in this practice, from the morning foundational routine of prayer, meditation, positive visualizations, and positive affirmations, to the staying connected with people "in the same lifeboat," to weighing and measuring my food, to the certainty that logging in MyFitnessPal provides--and embracing the accountability measures I've committed to doing consistently--and accepting support from others---all of these things act as pillars holding up the structure of one more day. Whatever it takes, right?

My goal isn't a particular weight. My goal is mental, emotional, and spiritual awakenings that bring a daily measure of peace, calm, clarity, and certainty. If I have those things, the scale will continue to take care of itself.

If I choose to cheat myself by taking out one or more of the above-mentioned pillars, it'll lead to more and the structure becomes unstable and eventually will collapse. Going rapidly back to 500 pounds or more is not only possible, but it's also a certainty if I don't continue to embrace a recovery perspective. I've lived in this scenario--and if you've read this blog awhile, you know all about it. It started with a cockiness, thinking "it's all me," and "I got this." I don't and it's not all me. Look, my disease of food addiction and compulsive overeating is a patient one. It would love to be released once more. I would love for it to not be released ever again.

I recently spent some extreme quality time with people who have what I want. I witnessed in others the deepest definitions of recovery and living recovered. With my accountability food postings on social media, it might give the impression that it's all about the food. It isn't. That's just one small piece of the puzzle. It's about developing and continuing to evolve a daily practice that helps keeps me well.

I don't know it all. I'm simply a willing student ready to learn and experience more along this road.

I do know one thing because I've experienced it a bunch lately: Living each new day with a practice that helps keep me out of the food, enables me to be fully present for the greatest gifts in life--like feeding my granddaughter little bites of my breakfast.

Social Media Accountability Postings:

My new website shares a phone number with my podcast, Transformation Planet, and it's always available for you! Have a question? Text me! 580-491-2228 I'll text you back!

Thank you for reading and your continued support,
Practice, peace, and calm,

My new website:

If you're interested in connecting via social media:
I accept friend requests on MyFitnessPal. My daily food logging diary is set to public.
MFP Username: SeanAAnderson
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