Wednesday, September 10, 2014

September 10th, 2014 The Importance of Certainty

September 10th, 2014 The Importance of Certainty

A quick recap tonight, then bed. Quick recaps do not give me the same mental and emotional clarity as does thorough, exploratory writings, but the body needs sleep. And I must remember, this is a daily diary and there will be time for exploring another night. This is one day and this daily blog isn't going away, I'm committed!

I had a long work day today, taking me up until 8pm at the county fair. I did take the time in between breaks and greeting fair goers to reply to comments on last night's post. I was being efficient! It was a slow evening at the fair, so most of the time my alternative was watching the BMX stunt riders practice in front of our radio station's booth.

"Do you want fair food?" I was asked this question by our sales rep in charge of the fair account. I knew what this meant. Whatever I wanted, say the word--and I could have it for free. I've taken advantage of this in years past, especially prior to the start of my journey in 2008. Tonight, I firmly and easily declined. "Oh no, not a thing, I'll eat as soon as I leave here." Our on-staff news anchor/journalist who joins me every morning on my show, heard me say this and queried, "Is that hard for you to turn down the fair food?" "No, not at all. I'm looking forward to dining at Taco Mayo afterward." 

In a situation like this, I'm more concerned with certainty in my calorie budget than what I'll eat. Could I have selected something at the fair that possibly would have fit? Sure, but it would have required me playing a guessing game on the calories. Taco Mayo, even though it's fast food, gives me fresh ingredients (much higher quality than the big chain--you likely know the big chain I'm talking about!), and I can customize my order and feel really good about my choices. I ordered two crispy chicken tacos. These are not on the menu. The only chicken tacos on their menu are wrapped in flour tortillas. I order special and cut the calories, every time. Asking for the corn shells instead of flour saves up to 50 calories per taco. I declined the cheese on the white meat chicken tacos and allowed cheese on the bean tostado--a calorie budget maneuver. With the addition of sour cream and black olives, I knew the calories would be pushing 600, which is on the upper limits of any one particular meal for me. By the time I had it all entered in MyFitnessPal, I was correct--621 cal. Had I allowed cheese on the chicken tacos I would have easily exceeded 700 for the meal.

Dinner was delicious, satisfying, and certain. Had I picked the fair food, it would have surely been delicious, likely satisfying--but not at all certain. I could have saved a little money by accepting the free fair food, sure, but I will not put a price on the peace of mind certainty brings.

After dinner, I stopped by the store to pick up some new pots and pans for Courtney's new place. Courtney just moved into her first place that's all her own and she's so excited and proud! My house warming gift was the same for her as it was for Amber. Every time either of my daughters cook at home, they'll think of their dear old dad! 

After peeking into my grandson Noah's room and seeing that he was peacefully sleeping, I quietly turned around and exited on my tippy toes. I left Courtney's place and headed for the trail. It was too late for the YMCA. A good walk was an easy alternative considering this nice cool fall weather we're experiencing. It is downright amazing outside. I love fall!

My food Tweets from today:










Thank you for reading and sincerely, thank you for your continued support,
Strength,
Sean
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Tuesday, September 9, 2014

September 9th, 2014 Checking In With 37 Year Old Me

September 9th, 2014 Checking In With 37 Year Old Me

Sometimes it's good for me to go back into my archives and read a perspective from years ago. I was looking for something written about "Importance Level," when I came across this from August 29th, 2009:

I feel so weird right now. My body feels good, my vision is sharp, my muscles feel relaxed. So this is what it feels like to get a solid nine hours of sleep? Wow, nice. I needed it and I took it. It's Saturday morning already and below you'll find the Friday August 28th edition of this blog---I was too tired to post last night. Just couldn't function properly. I had a voice-mail greet me this morning, I still don't know exactly for sure who it is, all they said was “I'd like to report that my morning edition of the Daily Diary of a Winning Loser is missing, please have someone deliver it soon, thank you!” No problem, I'll call the circulation department right now! OK—In listening to it again for that quote, I figured out who it was. It's good to have friends, huh? I never feel right just going to bed without posting. In 348 days, it's happened less than 10 times. Just couldn't help it last night. Getting rest was the only option. I needed it and I took it. Sometimes you have to force yourself to do what's right for YOU. So, I'll rewind my brain now and do my best at recalling the events, thoughts, emotions, and choices that made up a wonderful Friday, and I'll do it from the perspective of Friday night. That can be tough, because it's sooo Saturday morning right now.

Five years later and I'm dealing with some of the same issues! It is interesting how some things get the highest level of importance with me while other equally important elements do not. And the very thing that allows me to excuse this lack of importance level is continued positive results. I do not get enough sleep and except for the last three days and an occasional fluke day, I've rarely made enough water important. From the same day as the above excerpt:

The importance level we set for things isn't something we just say. It's easy to say, “my weight loss efforts will be of utmost importance from this point forward.” It's ultimately set by our actions, not our words. If you find yourself making excuses and coming up with rationalizations that make bad choices seem alright, then maybe you need to check the importance level. Check it often, because it can deplete without you realizing. How do you check it? With complete honesty, that's your dipstick. Richard Simmons tweeted this today: “There is only one way to lose weight and keep it off. And it's by being truthful with yourself about the food...” 100% self-honesty is crucial to your success. I've written about this many times because it's something that I never did before with past failed attempts. Since day one nearly a year ago, this self-honesty policy has been firmly in place, and you know what kind of results I've had. The self-honesty component is vital to the mental changes required on this road to permanent success. Make this one of the most important things you've ever done. Give it the highest important level. Get completely honest with yourself about the habits you know are holding you back---and then get ready for an almost magically transformation of mind and body. Forget “almost,” it is magical.

Okay then, thank you 37 year old self. 

I made a point today to come home not long after my show to nap for a little while before heading back to the studio for a busy afternoon. I suppose that's making it important, to a degree.

I had a great food day too! I even made sure to enjoy dinner before my 7pm conference call support group. This is positive progress!  The only two things left to do after the call was workout and write this edition. My workout was incredible because I took it to eleven. You wouldn't think the difference between level 10 elliptical and level 11 would be too much. It was a big difference!

My Tweets today:
Thank you for reading and your amazing support,
Strength,
Sean
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Monday, September 8, 2014

September 8th, 2014 It Was A Nice Plan

September 8th, 2014 It Was A Nice Plan

I'm excited about my new Fitbit Flex. I like statistics and it keeps plenty of them, for sure! I'm really looking forward to giving it a good workout to analyze. I don't completely understand how it does what it does. It just does it--and I suppose that's all I need to know. 

After last Wednesday's weigh day, I wrote about a few people saying variations of "Losing weight is easy for you." I was informed there was one comment I didn't see or reply to, and I'm so glad I went back to read what had been written. It was from a fellow blogger who understands. There are a bunch of us, bloggers or not, who get this too. She's a fellow weight loss blogger who has experienced both sides--the side of success and the side where success seems a million miles away. I've been there too, oh my, have I ever. Her comment was a spot on analysis:

"...45 and Aspiring" writes:
Olympic figure skaters make quadruple axles look easy too. It's called practice, training, and commitment. Not to mention innumerable falls and occasional sliding crashes.

And you know what kills me is that it always seems easier when I'm doing it. I think, geez, what took me so long? But when I'm not doing it, it feels like I don't know where the "on" switch is.

People want to say it's easy for you so they have an excuse for themselves--"it's too hard for ME."

Crud, I find just choosing to be conscious all the time is hard, instead of being in the zombie zone and that unconscious easy eating that has kept me obese.

I've just recently come back to your blog and every time I see a tweet or FB post I think--how does he have time for all this? It took me hours to write blog posts when I did them, and I didn't have a bunch of comments to give a personal, thoughtful response to.

Yeah, it's "easy" for you, Sean, because you redesigned each part of your life--your eating, exercise, environment at home and away, your emotional responses, your take on the past and your belief about the future. It's easy for you because you publicly eviscerated yourself with long, personal posts and thereby gained a following of people who both count on you and keep you afloat, so you've kept it easy on yourself by publicizing your weight, each bite of food you eat, and spreading the "word" in a book, with nationwide motivational talks, and coaching in small groups. Next time someone says that to you, say, yes, I spend every minute of every day focused on emotional freedom and healthy living so I can make it easy to lose weight.

One of my favorite inspirational quotes is from author Annie Dillard, "because how we spend our days is how we spend our lives."

How incredible is that? I gave her my sincere thanks. 

Today was a challenge. Coming off a weekend, Monday is a day that always seems to be a little more difficult. I worked hard this morning to get my production finished in order to leave the studio early enough to get a nap and workout in before I took a work related trip to Oklahoma City at 4pm. My plan was to jump up before 3pm, rush to the Y, get a good elliptical workout, then be ready to leave town on schedule.  Then I overslept my nap. It was a nice plan. "Was" being the pivotal word.

Getting the afternoon workout would have been the thing to do. Instead, I found myself in the position of trying very hard to not be so very hard on myself for missing the opportunity. I can get it in later, I told myself. Yeah--later, when I'm getting back into town after 10pm!! That was also a nice thought. I'm exhausted. This will be a Monday without a workout. I need to be okay with this, so I'm deciding to be, okay. Seriously, I'm okay with this. I could do PiYo in my living room floor. I also have a giant Nordic Flex strength training machine in my spare bedroom--I do have options, I just don't have the time, not tonight. I need more sleep.

I enjoyed dinner at Applebee's this evening. As soon as I Tweeted about my dinner options, Applebee's verified corporate account favorited the tweet and followed me. Twitter is weird. There I was, dining solo in an Edmond, Oklahoma Applebee's carrying on a Twitter conversation with the company about my meal. This isn't unusual actually. Applebee's is really good about interacting with their customers via social media. I don't dine at Applebee's very often, maybe once a year, or every couple years. I knew they had an under 550 calorie menu--and that's what drove me there this evening. I was impressed with the selection and flavor. It was a really good meal, even though it contained in excess of 1800mg of sodium. A little pricey in the sodium department, but a good fit in my calorie budget. A Facebook friend shared that she always requests "no added salt/sodium." I wish I would have thought of that! 

When it came time to enter the food into MyFitnessPal, I did find a single file representing the meal with the menu listed calories of 530. I didn't want this, I wanted each item individually listed. I requested additional information about the ingredients used in preparation and found my server and the kitchen staff very helpful. I entered every single ingredient into MFP and it came up to 532 calories, just 2 calories over the menu declaration.

I've had two good water days in a row. I consumed 10 cups on Sunday and 9 cups today. This takes the most effort for me each day. I know of some who drink much more than this, naturally. I'm unnatural in several ways! I mean that in a good way! Getting enough water, even "just enough," is a challenge each and every day.

My Tweets today:
Thank you for reading and your continued support,
Strength,
Sean
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Sunday, September 7, 2014

September 7th, 2014 Learning New Things

September 7th, 2014 Learning New Things

I've enjoyed a much needed weekend! I had a wonderful breakfast and lunch followed by an incredible workout today. Heather took me to the trail she frequents for her run. She did her four mile run while I did my brisk three mile walk. She passed me as she headed back. I was on my way to the half way point turnaround. I had the key to the vehicle in my pocket, so I did my best to pick up the pace. I even did some light jogging! Heather finished her run, then ran back another mile to me and helped push me to the finish line. She was straight up coaching me that last mile!! She's really good and once again, it reminded me how I'm capable of giving more out there. I'm learning a lot from her about the physicality and science of exercise, things I've never really studied too closely. I'm at a point now where I'm ready and open to learning new things.

Heather is currently doing the Beach Body Ultimate Reset and she has a very specific nutrition plan she's following. She gave me the option to eat something different, whatever I wanted or what she was having. I decided to give her lunch a try. It reminded me of my recent lunch with Kat L., with all the quinoa, lentil beans and fresh veggies. It was very different from my usual lunch fare, but it was very good. If I could figure out a way to make it into a taco or tostado, I'd like it even more. I'm kidding. Okay, sort of kidding. ;)

I've always seemed to have an issue getting enough water. It really isn't too much of an issue, it's simply a matter of importance, or better--whether or not I make it important. Heather shares the same struggle sometimes. Today, we made sure to get enough. I was already at 8 cups by shortly after my three miles today. I finished with 10 cups straight water, something I rarely accomplish. The water consumption is definitely an enhancement I can make along this road. More water and more sleep. Those two things will make the biggest positive impact for me at this point moving forward.

I bought a FitBit tonight. It's my first! It's charging as I write and I'm hoping to be ready to strap it on before bed. It tracks everything, even my sleep! And it syncs with My Fitness Pal too!

This weekend has been very busy but exceptionally nice. The dinner Friday night with my daughters, Amber and Courtney, their boyfriends and Heather, along with my grandson Noah, was a wonderful experience. Everyone visited and got to know one another a little. It was truly fantastic. My daughters are incredibly loving and supportive. They absolutely love seeing their dad happy, feeling great and taking extraordinary care.

Noah hasn't spent too much time at my place, since I usually go to him, so he was all over this apartment. He walked from one end to the other, exploring!! His momma followed close behind, because this apartment isn't the most toddler friendly place! I'll make it that way if it means he comes to visit more often!

My workouts both Saturday and today were perfect, especially today. Heather offered for me to try her body combat class on Saturday, but I declined for fear that I'm not quite ready for that level of workout! The elliptical Saturday morning was perfect, really. And familiar, since it was the exact elliptical model I use at my local YMCA.

The upcoming work week will be busy. It's county fair week and we're doing location broadcasts every single night Tuesday through Saturday. I'm sharing those broadcast duties with a colleague, so it shouldn't be too much.

Heather and I planned on starting our YouTube channel this weekend, but ran out of time. It's absolutely coming, though--and we have some fantastic ideas already. All in time! I can't wait!

Oh--almost forgot-- I had a very disappointing time trying to find OSU spirit wear to fit on Saturday. All of what I had fit great when I was close or at 230 pounds. Where I am now, not so much. I almost purchased something new on Saturday before the game but I just couldn't justify the expense for something that will be too big for me within weeks. It's nice to know I'll have plenty of spirit wear soon. It's all waiting for my return to a healthier weight! I'm coming!! There was a couple of things I could have worn, but they were too tight for my own comfort. I could have worn them, sure--but I wanted to be comfortable, you know? The need for comfort trumped my need to wear orange Saturday.

My Tweets today:
















Thank you for reading and your fantastic support along this road,
Strength,
Sean
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Saturday, September 6, 2014

September 6th, 2014 The First Photo

September 6th, 2014 The First Photo

I was a guest this morning at the fitness center where Heather teaches class. While she taught her Saturday morning body combat class, I did my thing on the elliptical, resistance level 10. It was very unusual to get my workout in so early. But it felt good. And we had a busy day ahead of us.

We enjoyed the OSU football home opener today. We even snapped our very first photo together!!
 
I really enjoy her company! It was nice.

I was getting hungry before the game and with a 2:30pm kickoff, lunch was a must. I knew the plan was to grab dinner with Heather's daughter after the game and I knew she wanted Mexican, so I scrapped the idea of a quick and safe Chipotle stop. Instead, I ran into Walmart for Joseph's Pitas, thinly sliced cheese and turkey, plus rice chips! I made lunch right there in the vehicle! It was really good.

We only had water at the game. The Cowboys were winning very easily, so we made our way to the gates during the 3rd quarter. We decided to beat the traffic and the restaurant rush afterward. It was a wonderful plan.

I ordered the mixed grill fajitas. I didn't eat the cheese, beans, rice, sour cream or guacamole. I stuck with the grilled chicken, shrimp and steak stuffed into three taco shells instead of flour tortillas. 

This weekend continues to be wonderful. It's kind of a do-over from last weekend, when I worked three days of the three day holiday weekend.

I'm really taking a slight break from writing this weekend. You can expect I'll be recapping this weekend and more--including what happened when I tried to find some spirit wear clothing that fit. All of the OSU shirts in my closet were part of my 230 pound wardrobe.

My food tweets today:
Thank you for reading and your continued support!
Strength,
Sean
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Friday, September 5, 2014

September 5th, 2014 It's Okay. It's One Day.

September 5th, 2014 It's Okay. It's One Day.

**Edited and Revised Saturday morning September 6th.**

Today was one of those very busy Friday's, where my personal agenda was equally as busy as my work schedule.
Heather made the trip to my place to meet my daughters and enjoy dinner! The evening couldn't have gone better.  
I find myself in a very rare situation. I'm tired beyond my ability to keep my eyes open. The internet is down, I'm using Heather's iPad to compose this quick post.
I can't figure out how to get the food tweets on here using the iPad, so I'll wait and add them tomorrow morning when the internet is hopefully back up.

 The internet down last night created some serious anxiety for me. It was a circumstance beyond my control, so I must allow myself some give. This daily blogging schedule is something I look forward to because it's truly a joy for me to write and express myself. Giving  it less than the best, even when it couldn't be helped, last night, was hard. It felt good to lay down and get some good rest, but I couldn't help but feel a slight awkwardness--like a part of me wasn't complete. It would likely do me well to get over myself in this regard! Seriously--it's one day. Yes, I love to elaborate and explore, I love going deep. I also love having fun here too--but it isn't necessary every single night. Sometimes a quick sentence or two and tweets will suffice. Giving it a try last night was forced by circumstance. It was good, because I'm not sure I would have given it a try had it not.

 It's actually Saturday morning as I write this. I've already worked out today and I'm preparing to head toward Stillwater for the Oklahoma State football home opener.

My Tweets:












Thank you for reading,
Strength,
Sean
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Thursday, September 4, 2014

September 4th, 2014 Had A Moment

September 4th, 2014 Had A Moment

I had a moment today. It was nearing the end of my work day and a colleague who obviously is under a great deal more stress than I am, exploded in my direction. Perhaps a conversation about the elements of this dissent would have been more appropriate. I'm a much calmer person. I don't ever lose my cool and calm. If I'm angry about something, I'll address it, or not, but responding in a loud and disrespectful way isn't in my make up.

Perhaps it's my lifelong quest in avoiding confrontation that has given me this peaceful approach. I've avoided confrontation my entire life, sometimes to the detriment of my own personal well being, opting instead to just accept whatever was being heaved my way while adapting as best I could in any particular situation.

The colleague with the outburst today was justified in her frustration, but not justified in her expressively negative reaction and style of communication. The far reaching effects of my "epiphany day" on May 15th do not allow me to take such violations of my personal space without firmly standing up and calmly expressing myself in regards to what's appropriate and what isn't acceptable any longer. Since this blog is also read by many people local to me who are familiar with my colleagues, I'll stop sharing any more of this "moment." Rest assured, it's a new day. And the Sean of today isn't the Sean of yesterday. I will not tolerate what was once a given, ever again.

I rediscovered my stress trigger today. Yes indeed, the stress of today's heated "moment" sent me racing up the stairs of my apartment building and toward my fridge with camera in hand ready to photograph and tweet a hastily consumed snack. I wasn't hungry at all--it was purely a reaction to the stressful circumstance at work. I opened the fridge and the first thing I laid eyes on was the jar of peanut butter. "Come here, you!" I actually contemplated taking a picture of a peanut butter covered finger before I came to my senses and stepped away from the fridge.

I had to take pause and assess how I was feeling in the moment and why I was feeling compelled. It was proof positive that even though I'm thankfully void of the binges triggered by the bio-chemical reactions of sugar consumption, I'm still very much human and capable of being triggered by straight up stress, especially when the stress comes from a confrontational moment. Normal everyday stress doesn't seem to have the same effect. I suppose when the stress comes from something you've lived your entire life trying to avoid, it's bound to have a much greater effect. Once I was able to gather my thoughts and truly recognize my genuine needs, I realized what I needed was sleep. So I did just that. I slept well, too long for a nap. It's left me wide awake too late once again. But today, I'm okay with it all. My body said "sleep," and I obeyed. Yay, me!

My plan was to have dinner followed by a workout at the YMCA. Instead, I enjoyed a fabulous dinner and opted to make this my rest day from exercise. I relaxed and enjoyed some me time, including some peaceful mental planning of some exciting upcoming projects. I enjoyed a much needed, refreshing conversation via phone with my sweetheart, Heather. We laughed so much and admitted we could talk all night, very easily. She's actually coming over tomorrow evening for a special dinner and first meeting with both my daughters and grandson Noah. I haven't decided on the menu just yet, but I'm confident it'll be wonderful, whatever it is. I was thinking about grilling, but I'm starting to lean toward a taco bar type meal. (Me choosing Mexican food--I'm so predictable!) I'll figure it out, no worries!

The conversation with Heather, another wonderful conversation with Courtney and a nice call to mom, turned out to be the perfect peaceful punctuation to an otherwise stressful day. I finished strong today. I experienced a stress trigger and lived to tell the tale. I stood up for myself and the world didn't come to an end...which is very interesting, because there was a time in my life when I was convinced otherwise.

My Tweets today:










Thank you for reading,
Strength,
Sean
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Wednesday, September 3, 2014

September 3rd, 2014 It's Not Easy-Weigh Day Edition

September 3rd, 2014 It's Not Easy-Weigh Day Edition

Today's weigh-in was honestly the first time I've approached the scale with a true sense of, whatever it says, I'm good! I realized this on the way to the doctors office. I was stuck at a red light pondering what was about to happen and then it hit me: It is simply a statistic. It's information I can use to make adjustments, if needed. As I've said before, my identity and self-worth isn't tethered to the number on a scale. My self-worth doesn't increase with weight loss and it doesn't decline with weight gain. I am a good human being, regardless. I love me, regardless.

Do I want to get in the best shape of my life? Yes, indeed. Will it make me feel better? Physically, sure. Mentally and emotionally? I seriously doubt there's any improving on how I feel about me in this moment. And it certainly isn't dependent on the scale. I've never felt more whole in my entire life. On the surface, the previous sentence sounds good, sure--but if you've read about how dark things became not too long ago, the "informed perspective" reveals nothing short of a miracle turn-around. I'm grateful. I'm blessed. I'm so happy.

I stepped on the scale today and found:
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A nine pound loss since my last weigh-in three weeks ago! This brings my nineteen week total to seventy-eight pounds gone! After a big 164 pound regain of my initial 275 pound loss, to now be only 86 pounds away from my previous low and what I believe to be my healthiest weight, is--it just is...so wonderful, I can't even find the words to express how wonderful.

I need to preface the following with this: I've studied and learned many valuable things along this road. Don Miguel Ruiz's book "The Four Agreements" taught me never to take anything personal. What others say or do in my direction, good or bad--isn't a reflection of me, it's a reflection of them. In other words, don't take criticism too hard and don't get wrapped up in praise from others. Staying grounded and balanced requires an inner peace and love, that when truly embraced, cannot be affected by the opinions of others one way or the other.

Okay, with that written, I was slightly irritated with a few well meaning comments after my weigh-in today. Two of these came in person from people I see on a regular basis. I'm okay. They're okay. It's all good. But I wanted to clarify a BIG misconception. The comments, each a variation of the same thing, said: "Losing weight is easy for you!"

Are you talking to me? It's easy? Really??? After the first one, I smiled and offered: "Thank you, but I must say, it isn't ever easy. It's a lot of work, a big commitment." I didn't respond to the other two because I was too busy intentionally breathing for calm and perspective. I know these comments came with the best of intentions and happiness for me and my successful turnaround, there wasn't any ill will or intent. But some things to remember:

It isn't easy to take pictures of everything I eat, log each item in MyFitnessPal, then describe the picture complete with calorie count in a 140 characters or less Tweet. Try doing it for a week. I've done it for almost five months straight.

It isn't easy to maintain my abstinence from sugar in a world where sugar is everywhere, even in places we wouldn't expect to find sugar--it's there. And it's a drug to me. It's a drug I can no longer deny my addiction to or the bio-chemical effects it has on me.

It isn't easy to commit anywhere from an hour to two and a half hours a night of writing in order to maintain this blog. I do it because it's therapeutic. I do it because it brings me joy. I do it because it gives me clarity and perspective. I do it because it's an important part of who I am. I also do it because I've discovered how it can help others along this road. But mainly, I do it for me. Still, it's hard work. It's important work to me and the support it attracts plays a huge role in my success, but it isn't easy. I'm profoundly grateful for what this blog provides me each and every day. It's nothing short of a blessing to me in many ways.

It isn't easy to plan, prepare and pack my food each day.

It isn't always easy to navigate menus at restaurants.

It isn't easy to push myself toward a good workout six days a week (some workouts are better than others, of course!).

It isn't easy to maintain the consistency I've enjoyed because life still happens. Stress is all around me--job stress, financial stress--general life stress, emotions...it's all there, and always will be, it's life for goodness sake! And through it all, I'm maintaining an importance level, perspective and a high degree of accountability that helps me maintain a balanced level of consistency. Again, this isn't easy to do day in and day out.

It isn't always easy to make these things enjoyable and truly fun, but it's important for me to find the joy in what I do, because if this is something I'm not enjoying, there's no way to maintain it for the rest of my life--and that of course is a big hope and prayer of mine. I make sure to have fun and genuinely enjoy what I'm doing, what I'm eating and what I'm experiencing throughout this process. If it's something I don't enjoy or can't stand, I'm not doing it...not even a little bit, never mind forever.

Perhaps I make it look easy. Maybe so. Trust me, it's not easy for me to lose weight. It takes a monumental effort each and every day, one day at a time. You know what is easy for me?

Despite appearing very difficult, it was easy to be a 500 pound man for nearly twenty years. It took hardly any effort at all to maintain my 500 pounds of life sucking weight. It was easy!!! I never exercised and I basically ate whatever I wanted, as much as I wanted, whenever I wanted. If I was sad, hurting or angry--food seemed to be my "easy fix." Of course we now know that additional food doesn't "fix" anything, unless it's an effort to maintain a 500 pound body. It fixes that real well, at least for me--totally easy!!

It was shockingly easy for me to gain back 164 pounds. I mean, it was a breeze! Had I not worked hard at grabbing the reigns of this runaway coach, I'd likely be back at 500 pounds by now--because it was so easy! 
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This isn't the "serious face" (trying hard not to smile) of someone who loses weight easily. This is the serious and determined face of someone who is working hard everyday to be consistent and to maintain integrity in my resolve and mission. It's the serious face of someone who is very passionate about this journey and all of its many incredibly fascinating facets. It's the seriously determined face of someone who wants to share and help others, simply by doing what I'm doing. It's the determined face of someone who can be as serious as needed in the moment, but still enjoy the humor in it all, along the way. This is the face of someone who doesn't give up, ever. This isn't the face of "easy."

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I enjoyed a great food day today--oh my--look at the below tweets! Yummy! I made it home mid-afternoon and enjoyed a very restful 1.5 hour nap before jumping up and making it into the YMCA for the 5:30pm spin class. I followed that very challenging 45 minute workout with a nice swim in the Y lap pool.

I decided to order Hawaiian Fajitas for dinner. My favorite little Mexican restaurant sits three blocks from the YMCA, so it was very convenient to place a take out order. Usually I would dine inside, but tonight I wanted to do something different. I ordered them to go, so I could take the ingredients home and precisely weigh each ingredient in an effort to get the most accurate calorie count possible. I even asked the restaurant how much oil they use in preparing an order--and I included that in the count. I order them special every time--and what I accept and don't accept varies depending on a few factors, namely the amount of calories left in my calorie bank for the day. Tonight I declined: Chips, guacamole, beans and rice.

I measured out the steak, chicken, shrimp and pineapple--found the precise counts in MFP, then mixed them all back together and poured them into a big bowl of lettuce for what I'll call "Hawaiian fajita salad." Yes, I'm calling this a salad--complete with a simple homemade dressing made from salsa blended with a serving of light sour cream.

I'm very happy to be where I am along this road. I feel incredibly blessed and tremendously grateful.

If you're interested in taking part in the 10-week teleconference weight loss support group facilitated and moderated by Life Coach Gerri Helms and me, then click this link to register and pay the fee via a secure PayPal checkout page (You do not need a PayPal account to register and pay, you can simply pay with your card): lifecoachgerri.com/events/bootcamp Unfortunately, this option is currently only available in the U.S. and Canada.  

My Tweets today:














Thank you for reading and your amazing support,
Strength,
Sean
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Tuesday, September 2, 2014

September 2nd, 2014 Creative Ideas

September 2nd, 2014 Creative Ideas

This day, oh my--it was a long one! I managed to maintain the integrity of my food plan despite the long hours. I must admit, I worked a split shift today, opting to come home for a midday nap before returning for a long afternoon of radio production.

I left the studio at 5:15pm and headed for the store to purchase some items for dinner. I'm challenging myself to discover new and exciting things to prepare. I have my tried and true regulars and believe me, they wouldn't be regular menu items if I didn't love them. Sometimes, I feel like stretching my culinary skills and imagination. This is when it get's fun.  I decided on a sirloin tip steak stir fry with squash, zucchini, onions, green pepper and red bell pepper. For my side dish, I cut sweet potatoes into round medallions and baked them at 420 degrees for 30 minutes. The entire dinner was amazing. I prepared it pre-conference call--and enjoyed it immediately after the presentation tonight. I love creative ideas in the kitchen!

Our presentation tonight was all about the weight loss support group conference calls I co-facilitate and moderate with Life Coach Gerri Helms. Currently, this weekly group is only available in the U.S. and Canada.
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This was our "poster" for tonight's event. And here's the audio from tonight's presentation in its entirety:

We're looking forward to a very successful ten week group starting September 9th and taking you right up to right before Thanksgiving. I'll include a direct link for you to register and sign up in tomorrow night's edition. We're giving those who were on the conference presentation live, the first opportunity.

I enjoyed the aforementioned dinner immediately after tonight's presentation, then made my way to the YMCA for an elliptical workout. I cranked it up to level 10 tonight. Pushing it like I did on Monday's walk with Heather has really opened my eyes to the concept of what can I really do? I'll never know unless I try, right? I set the elliptical to 10 and took off and I made it, yes, made it just fine. It was an incredible workout. I'm getting a bigger sweat with every new resistance level.

I'm looking forward to tomorrow's weigh-in. I know to ground myself and maintain some perspective while approaching the scale. Still, I'm excited! And excited doesn't necessarily mean high expectations, it just means I'm feeling great and regardless of what the scale says tomorrow morning, I'm okay! If you follow me on Twitter or Facebook, you'll be the first to know the weigh day update!

My Tweets today:
















Thank you for reading and in this post, thank you for listening!
Strength,
Sean
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Monday, September 1, 2014

September 1st, 2014 Why Do I Hold Back?

September 1st, 2014 Why Do I Hold Back?

I enjoyed some time with Heather last night. I'm really enjoying the like mindedness we share. She's very supportive of what I do and that's critically important. I'm supportive of what she does too. We've taken a cue from a few wonderful readers of this blog and we've decided to start a YouTube channel together. Our first video will be produced over the upcoming weekend. Living apart by sixty miles, our time together is often short, but we're making the most of the time we do enjoy. We both lead busy lives and that's good. It keeps us moving at a reasonable pace. We've talked about this YouTube venture and I'll tell you, we're both excited! We already have some good ideas! It'll be big fun!

There was some internet connectivity issues last night at Heather's house, so rather than postponing last night's blog, Heather had the brilliant idea of taking her laptop to Starbucks for the free wi-fi. Starbucks was closed, but their internet signal wasn't! She and I sat on the patio of a closed Starbucks, her on an iPad, me on her laptop, as I composed last night's edition. I enjoyed it immensely.

We decided to do a three mile walk today. My goal was to keep pace with her. Keep in mind, she's a certified fitness instructor, I'm not. I did it though--I totally kept pace with her. I did slide back a little a few times, but by the end, I clearly had an incredible workout. She was briskly walking, not running. It was a challenge for sure. It made me realize how relaxed I keep my workouts most of the time. I'm capable of more and this brisk 3 miles today was proof. Why do I hold back?

I discussed this "holding back" dynamic with Heather after our walk. I believe it goes back to when I first started losing weight. At 505 pounds, I was seriously afraid of exerting too much for fear of dropping over with a heart attack. I remember my first time on the walking trail September 15th, 2008--it was less than a 1/4 mile, much less--and still, I was frightened I might be pushing too hard. I do get some good workouts these days, but I think I tend to subconsciously limit myself because of this old fear that no longer applies. Also, I think about my half-brother Danny, whom I never had a chance to meet. He passed suddenly, of aortic dissection, at 42 years old. I'm 42 years old. Aortic dissection is the same thing that claimed the life of TV's beloved John Ritter. It's rare and typically caused by prolonged high blood pressure.

My half-brother's tragic fate is always in the back of my mind and even though my doctor has checked me over in every way and I'm perfectly fine, it still bothers me. My doctor even took me off the blood pressure medicine--so, I'm seriously free to push myself a little harder and be okay. 

I traveled back home after a wonderful stay and immediately started getting ready for a Labor Day location broadcast. I had just enough time to prepare a good lunch. I wasn't sure what I wanted, so I tried to create something new and good. Taco Shell Nachos was fast, filling and delicious, and it was something slightly different than my usual fare (see Tweet below).

I'm seriously behind in catching up with many of my fellow blogging friends. I highly recommend perusing the blog roll on the left hand side of your screen and checking out some of the wonderful people who do this too, all the time. We have a very supportive community around these parts of the internet!

As always, I do my best to reply to each and every comment left on this blog. If you have a question, click the comments below and ask away! I sincerely appreciate your continued readership and support.

Life Coach Gerri and I will present a free teleconference support call tomorrow night. This is in advance of our next series of session calls. If you've thought about joining our weekly weight loss support group, but need some additional information, this is the free opportunity to find out exactly what it's all about! Unfortunately, it's only available in the U.S. and Canada at this time. This free teleconference event is scheduled for 7pm Central, 8pm Eastern, 6pm Mountain and 5pm Pacific. Space is limited, so don't wait!  Register now by clicking this link: http://lifecoachgerri.com/events/it-isnt-too-soon/ 

My food Tweets today:














Thank you for your readership and continued support,
Strength,
Sean
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