Day 203 The Forever Part and Buying Empty Wrappers At The Grocery Store

Day 203

The Forever Part and Buying Empty Wrappers At The Grocery Store

The 10k last night felt great and boy did I sleep sound last night! I need to do more of those. As the weather warms I'm looking forward to expanding my exercise regimen to include bicycling and swimming. I think we're going to start looking for some bikes real soon. I can order my heavy duty bicycle seat from Living XL Magazine and we'll be good to...Wait a second! I may not need a heavy duty seat before too long! Scrap the whole special seat idea. I'm looking forward to the warmer weather like never before. At over 500 pounds I dreaded the heat. Not only did I dread the heat, I avoided the heat at all cost. If I could just stay inside 24 hours a day by an air conditioning vent, I did. Now I'm looking forward to the added benefit the heat will provide to my workouts. It's amazing how losing weight can completely transform your attitude and overall outlook on things. When I say it changes everything, I mean everything. That's what I keep telling my mom and anyone else that will listen, just stay consistent long enough to achieve significant results and you'll be so thrilled with how you think, feel, and look, you'll never want to go back! Of course you have to do more than just eat less and exercise. You have to do what I've done and completely change your mind about food and exercise. Because as I learned in 2004, just because you get a taste of weight loss freedom, it doesn't mean you're completely free. You're only free when you become mentally changed. That's the forever part. The mental aspect is what will keep the weight off. Learning to be completely honest with yourself and 100% responsible for your decisions is key. Learning how to properly use food to live and fuel your body is paramount. It's OK to “love food,” sure, it's totally cool and normal to have your favorites and foods you're passionate about, never give them up! But never eat so much of them that it makes you feel like giving up. How did this happen? I was talking about exercise and all of a sudden this paragraph became all about food and personal responsibility. Anyway, one of the big factors in my success so far is never feeling deprived. I have zero restrictions. I can choose to eat anything I want. If I want a cookie, I'll have a cookie, maybe two or three, but I will not eat the whole package. If I want pizza, I'll have pizza, more than likely thin crust and only two or three pieces. Oh sure, I could have deep dish or pan pizza, but I can have two slices of the thin to one thick. Choices, that's all it is. And educating yourself on proper portions and calorie counts. Knowing how much is too much is critical. For years I never knew, because I wasn't counting or even looking. I didn't want to know how many calories I had in that over-sized bowl of tin roof sundae, nor did I care.

Even after losing the first 137 pounds and as rock solid as I am mentally, there are still foods I refuse to keep around the house. I will not buy a half-gallon carton of ice cream. I don't trust myself with that stuff. Crazy? Maybe a little. I know that if I dipped out a portion (most times ½ a cup), I could occasionally enjoy ice cream from a half gallon without breaking my calorie bank for the day, but still, I just can't. Another item? Cottage cheese, oh please! Whoever designated cottage cheese a “diet food,” never knew me. They've never witnessed me take a carton of that stuff, grab a sleeve of saltines, salt and pepper, and a spoon and hit the couch. I love cottage cheese. I could eat that stuff all day long. I still occasionally enjoy some, in fact just the other day, but it's always a very controlled portion, and never at home with a full carton. I know myself better than anyone and Irene knows me better than anyone else besides me. She's watched as many cottage cheese cartons, purchased in the name of protein, have made their way to the trash, emptied the first night they made it home. Some never even made it into the fridge. And if the store had some plastic spoons handy, it may not make it out of the store. Have you ever ate something while you're still in the store? I have many times. I may not have paid for it yet, but I will! I once handed the checker an empty popcorn chicken bucket from the deli and a candy bar wrapper. People must do it all the time or else she was just being polite, because she scanned the empty items and threw away the evidence without so much as a strange look. I don't do that anymore. It's surprising I ever did it in the first place, since I always hated being the stereotypical “fat guy.” I may be confident but my guard is never completely down. I know my sneaky little self all too well to ever be completely unguarded.

We made the trip to pick up Courtney today. Amber and she had a blast on sisters weekend. Except most of the sisters were younger, in some cases really young. And most of the activities planned were designed for youngsters. So Amber and Court did their own thing all weekend long. They really needed that time together. On the way down we picked up my mom for the ride. She wanted to go and see the countryside and visit during the drive. We had a fantastic conversation traveling along highway 33. She informed me that she's lost 9 pounds since March 10th, isn't that fantastic! And she's out there walking all the time lately. I told her how proud I was of her and to keep it up! At 63 she has an opportunity to add years to her life, but there's no time to waste! She could have another 20 to 30 years, or another 5 to 10, her choice. Well, God's choice really. Only God knows for sure, but if she continues what she's been doing lately, the walking and eating less, then she'll have a legitimate shot at the 20 to 30 range! We all hope and pray for a long life and sometimes we forget that there are things we can do that'll give us a better shot at that long life. For me it's losing weight and quitting the nasty cigarettes.

No Funyuns snack this trip, instead we packed fresh apple slices in little baggies. I consumed almost as many calories in apples today as I did in Funyuns on Friday.

I hope you didn't feel like the first part of yesterday's blog was one long commercial for Todd Starnes's new book. I've never had to have open heart surgery, thank God, but I still identify with so many things his book says. Aside from the weight loss and exercise, the mental changes and all, aside from all of that, I found we also share a love for the perfectly peanut buttery cookie, Nutter Butter. Ask Irene, she'll tell you. She's witnessed many a Nutter Butter and milk binges on this side of Sean Town. Not in the last 203 days, in fact that's one of the things I was reminded of while reading yesterday. I haven't had a single Nutter Butter this entire journey. Well, I must make some room for a few tomorrow. That's it, I'm having some Nutter Butters! Not a whole package like before, just a serving. A normal sized serving. Maybe I can hang out in the cookie isle at Wal-Mart and wait for someone to grab a package, then offer to buy a few from their pack. That would be hilarious, but it also might get me kicked out of Wal-Mart. I know, I'll buy the little convenient four pack at a c-store! There we go, that's it. Good night and...

Good Choices,
Sean