Day 212 Totally Semi-Automatic and Adventures In Italian Cuisine

Day 212

Totally Semi-Automatic and Adventures In Italian Cuisine

Somebody asked me today when it became “automatic” for me. I know exactly what they're meaning. When do the urges to cheat, the urges to turn to a mountain of food in times of stress, when do these go away? Well, I think it would be different for each individual, but for me...wow, honestly? I still occasionally get a wild urge to purposely over-eat. I'm also at the point where I can easily identify the reason why I'm having the urge, then I can talk myself down. I certainly wasn't as strong in the early days, remember Day 60? And Day 80 something? Yeah, they were almost deal breakers. Somewhere around Day 130 or so, I started getting into a groove where I totally knew there was no turning back. I'd said “there's no turning back,” before that, but there's a difference between saying it and feeling it deep inside. In the beginning it was kind of like walking a tight rope. I was just trying to keep my balance and stay upright. As the days have come and gone, that rope is getting wider and wider and much easier to balance. It's more than just forcing myself to make good choices, I've honestly changed the way I think about food and exercise. That breakthrough is the vital component I never had before. I'm keenly aware of any hints of old habits and behaviors. It's an ability I never had before on any other weight loss attempt. Is it automatic? Not completely, but it's close, perhaps semi-automatic.

Today I had lunch plans with a member of the Team Radio sales staff and a friend and client. We were scheduled to meet Dr. Amy at Zino's Italian Restaurant at 11am. We talked about a wonderful new feature that will eventually make Dr. Amy a regular part of my morning show. It was very exciting! The food is really good at Zino's. It's definitely a place where I have a strategy going in and I have to stick with that strategy, or else run the risk of using way too many calories for lunch. We all shared the fried calamari with marinara appetizer. I just had a few of these. I skipped the bread entirely, which wasn't an easy thing to do since it smelled so incredible! But I did, and I ordered water with extra lemons. The main course I selected was a cheese ravioli with marinara. I decided I would only eat half of the dish, and I did that. I also enjoyed a small cup of cheese tortellini soup with big chunks of cooked carrots in a semi clear broth. The soup wasn't near as bad calorie wise as it sounds. To be honest, this is really one place where I have to let my calorie counting experience take over and make some good educated guesses. I wanted to keep the lunch under 500 calories, to do it I had to follow my rules. My rules for Italian are really simple: avoid the bread, order a pasta with a tomato based sauce, and watch the portion size, stay away from cream based soups, only have a bite or two (or three) of that favorite appetizer, and drink water. To get a better handle on the calories of a place like this, I often times look up calories for similar dishes at like restaurants. It was a very satisfying lunch and we had a great visit! Lunch at an Italian restaurant, no problem!

I'm very excited for weigh day tomorrow. I have a feeling it's going to be a good one! My jeans are fitting real loose and I just feel noticeably smaller. The idea that as I get smaller, smaller amounts of weight loss will equal greater results in the way I feel and look, I hadn't really figured that out before. Losing 10 pounds at 500 isn't near as noticeable as losing 10 pounds at 368. I have a friend that's lost almost twenty pounds so far and he's dramatically different. His clothes are smaller, his face looks thinner, he's feeling it all over! But he has much less to lose, so naturally it makes a more dramatic difference. So it can slow down, that's cool, because if losing 5 or 6 pounds is like losing 20 at over 500 pounds, then I'm totally fine. Looking at it like this is a real revelation for me. After fully understanding this dynamic, you will not find me acting like a spoiled baby when I weigh and only lose 5 pounds. Whatever tomorrow's weigh-in shows me, I'll be totally fine. I know where I'm headed and I'm very comfortable with the ride.

My apologies to anyone that felt the last two days were a little too much information. Perhaps I could have been a little more vague about the condition. I chose to write about it because right now it's a very painful part of my every waking moment. It's hard not to write about something so consuming, when this is a blog about my daily journey from 505 to 230. What I wrote about was and is a part of this journey. And it could have been avoided completely with a regular serving of steel cut oats and maybe a fiber supplement or two. Thank you to all who sent me messages of laughter today about last night's blog. My intention was to make it as humorous as possible, and some of my readers enjoyed the laughter. Others couldn't get past the topic and graphic details. I understand that completely. It was an honest account of a horribly painful situation with an overall message, let's call it an “advisory,” to eat more fiber. Because this is what happens my friend, yeah, this is what happens.

Thanks for reading and wish me a good weigh day tomorrow! I'll be sending out a mass text message of weigh day results to cell phones on the list shortly after I step on the scale. If you'd like to be included in the mass text, just send me a private message with your phone number and the request. If you're reading the blogspot version, you can send me an e-mail to seanboy105@hotmail.com Good night and...

Good Choices,
Sean