Friday, February 12, 2010

Day 515 Lyrical Motivation and That's Where I Would Be

Day 515

Lyrical Motivation and That’s Where I Would Be

If you’ve read the archives of this blog, you already know that my taste in music is all over the place. I’m lyrical, it doesn’t matter the genre of music---do the lyrics speak to me? Do the lyrics push my emotional buttons? Everyday I read a post from exactly one year before and today I re-read Day 150. It was a milestone day, the day I first completed a treadmill 5K! Here’s a quick excerpt from that day:

I was lip syncing to Christopher Cross's “Sailing,” Green Day's “Good Riddance(Time of Your Life),” and REO's “Time For Me To Fly.” Like I mentioned the other day, these are not your typical workout type songs, but they are extremely special and inspirational to me. I played them over and over, day dreaming all the way. I must have looked crazy with my eyes closed, my lips moving, and my legs truckin', but I didn't care. I was in my own little world. As far as I knew, it was just me, the treadmill, three of my favorite songs, and my dreams. What did I dream about? I was dreaming about the future. I was visualizing really positive things. The twenty minutes or so I spent with my eyes closed tight were truly magical. The ability to dream about the future is so important. At over 500 pounds, it was all about dreading the future, and not being completely confident that my weight would allow me to even go very far into it. Someone once said, “if you can visualize it, you can achieve it.” I'm going to need sunglasses. I made a breakthrough on that treadmill tonight. I taught myself to take the focus off the sweat and energy it was taking and focus completely on my positive visualizations. I almost didn't notice the whole walking part, I was that deep my friend. I snapped out of it long enough to capture the last minute as I 'crossed the finish line' and hit the stop button. I told my mom about this triumph and she told me how great it was and that she didn't think she could ever do something like this. I told her she was wrong! I told her she could do this eventually. Think about it, it's taken me nearly five months to get in the condition needed to accomplish this goal. Don't forget this: It's one day at a time...putting one successful day after the other...staying consistent...never giving up...focusing on your motivating thoughts...making good food choices...and quickly, without fail, the endurance grows...and soon you're doing things that could have killed you 150 days ago.

Doing things that could have killed you before. That says it all doesn’t it?

I prepared the most wonderful breakfast pizza this morning. I used a 60 calorie pita (of course) and 60 calories worth of mozzarella, plus 1 whole egg scrambled, and mushrooms. Look at that picture below---it’s really good and only 220 calories total. The calories vary depending on what you put on it of course. A 30 calorie serving of the sauce is actually a quarter cup and that isn’t a quarter cup…so it’s probably less than 220. I counted it as 220 anyway.

I did have time for my warm-up exercises this morning. I feel really good when I do them and horrible if I don’t. It’s just too easy to do them. I don’t have to go anywhere, I just drop in the floor and get it done, then find a chair and do the non-weighted squats. It makes a significant difference in my morning, it really does!

I headed home this afternoon ready for a serious nap. A friend let me know that they wanted to play in a poker tourney tonight and wanted me to join---and drive. No problem, it’s been a while and I do love poker, but it meant cutting my nap and workout short this evening.

I decided that if I was going to cut the length of my workout, I’d better increase the intensity of my workout. I decided I was going to “run” a quick two miles on the treadmill. I just knew I could do it, but I fell short. My endurance isn’t the best. There is a pace I can get comfortable with, because I’ve found that slower gear before and enjoyed wonderful endurance. I was just in too much of a hurry tonight.

I played well in the tournament and fell just short of the money. That’s frustrating. I love playing poker, I do…but I’ll tell you---this is something that I’ve severely cut back on because my priorities have changed and evolved over the last 17 months. I completely stopped playing on-line poker as soon as I started, from Day 1. I don’t have time for that stuff anymore, but it is nice to occasionally hit the felt in a live tournament. The dealers remember the 500-pound Sean, and they are completely amazed at the transformation. Tonight I heard “you look like a completely different person,” three times from three different people. It felt really good!

A really good friend offered to fly me to NYC for the Oz Show, but I didn’t take them up on it. The Oz Show was limiting their expenses and wasn’t paying for me to fly, but told me that I would have been in the audience had I made the trip on my own. After reading a couple of my friends’ accounts of the experience, I’m kicking myself for not going. I could’ve met Richard Simmons, Diane Fit To The Finish, Zeusmeatball, and Ann—aka Pretty Woman, along with several other amazing inspirations. Some of the transformations in that NY studio were just jaw droppingly unbelievable from what I’ve heard. That Dr. Oz 100th Show airs the 16th! I can’t wait to watch! I’m a HUGE fan of transformations! Complete—life changing transformations, it’s so wonderful to witness.

I got in late and decided to hurry off to sleep. Sleep is something I always talk about, how important it is, how it affects our metabolism, and yet---I still have a problem getting enough. I need to read my own advice and the advice of many readers over the course of this journey. Proper sleep must be a serious priority! That’s all I’m going to say about that. I’m tired of talking about it. I need a nap. Joking. No seriously, I need a nap. ;)

Today was another good day in the books. I’m in a good place mentally despite having several good reasons to be somewhere else. It’s all an attitude, a choice to be in a positive place—it’s so much easier at 269. I’d be a depressed, divorced, unemployed shut-in if I still weighed over 500 pounds, I swear that’s true.

Thank you for reading and giving me your incredible support! Goodnight and…

Good Choices,

Less cheese than I normally add, and you know what? It still rocked! That plate is an old school project Courtney made at 5 years old. I love that plate!


  1. Oh Sean, I wish you would have come to New York!!! Excellent post. Love ya!

  2. Glad you were able to fit in some kind of workout before you went out babe...good for you. Courtney's plate is adorable...those types of things are precious, aren't they? I'll text you later! :)

  3. OK,I have to ask about the plate... not exactly the best backdrop for your pizza but interesting. I imagine some little one proudly presented it to you. Pretty cute!

  4. First, I am humbled by the statement "I’m kicking myself for not going. I could’ve met Richard Simmons, Diane Fit To The Finish, Zeusmeatball, and Ann—aka Pretty Woman" it was an interesting time and I do think I would do it again, it would have been a treat to meet you as well.

    second, that pizza looks good! I make a similar thing minus the eggs and do it for lunch sometimes and am amazed at how low the calories are on things like that if effort is put into figuring out the ingredients ;)

    "At over 500 pounds, it was all about dreading the future, and not being completely confident that my weight would allow me to even go very far into it" I wish that I didn't know exactly what you mean when you say that...its not a good feeling.

    As Ever

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  6. Sean, I would have paid for your plane ticket and shared my room with you ;) I'll see you next week.

  7. I can and will get to the point where I can look back and see how far I have come!!!!
    Thanks Sean.

  8. I love that green day's simple but true.
    great job on the workout.

  9. Thanks Sean, for stopping by my blog to say hi. Also thanks for your sweet comment. You are of course so inspirational to so many....including me! I love reading your thoughts, and hearing about your success, and your challenges. Way to go! Hugs, Kathleen

  10. Your little girl had beautiful penmanship at five years old! Sean, you are doing amazing, buddy. Keep up the good work, babe.

    P.S. I just found out about the divorce yesterday. I've been reading sporadically, but I didn't see anything about this. My heart goes out to you!


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