I Was Thinking About It On Day 1 and Daddy/Amber Time
The touching words so many left for Eric yesterday, it was just, amazing. Thank you. I know Eric is reading and discovering an entire community of bloggers ready to help inspire. I never dreamed that sharing this journey might have an impact like that on someone. It’s happened many times over the course of the last 517 days---and I know it happens to my other successful and inspiring blogging friends. It still feels very strange to be on the other side. It makes me want to do better. I’ve said it many times---this is not the perfect journey. I’m not a weight loss expert, or doctor, or guru, or anything other than a humble man who found a way out and has written and continues to write about it every step of the way. I’m still learning, I’m still developing, and I still occasionally struggle. This is why it’s uncomfortable and hard to accept praise and compliments---and e-mails like Eric’s---it just takes this journey to a much higher level in my mind.
Helen commented yesterday: I know you started to help yourself but ultimately you really wanted to help others too, right?
Helen, thank you, and yes---I started writing because I knew it would help me unravel my issues that kept me fat. I didn’t care if anyone read it other than my family and close friends, although I knew others would, and yes I was hoping it could serve a purpose in helping others. But I had no idea how much that element would impact me emotionally. The very last line of my Day 1 post was: "I look forward to this blog. I believe it will help me stay on track and maybe along the way it will inspire someone else to stay on track." So yes, I was thinking about this even on Day 1 at 505 pounds. This blog, this journey, this transformation has given me a new life and my new life has a greater purpose. It’s changed me for the better beyond what I ever imagined.
Spending time with Amber has been tremendously rewarding today. We’ve talked about so many things---none of it directly weight loss related. We’ve just talked. And those conversations about life, love, and forgiveness---and living and dreaming, well…those conversations are precious and golden. We’ve talked about not settling for anything less than proper respect and consideration. We’ve talked about so many wonderful things. And we watched a great movie together. We watched “Dear John.” Amber cried seven times during that movie. I just put my arm around her and shed a tear or two right along side her. She didn’t notice and I didn’t admit it, hey—I’m still a big strong guy…but yeah, I’m a softy too. That movie is a serious tearjerker.
We also attended a Las Vegas Style magic show with International Magician of 2008, Rob Lake. He was just incredible. I’m still in awe of the illusions we witnessed. I really wanted Courtney to come with us, but she had too much homework. This is quickly turning into a Daddy/Amber Valentines weekend. Maybe we needed that I guess. I love both of my girls so much.
We ate responsibly and within our calorie budgets of course. Amber was amazed at the incredible calorie value of the veggie pita pizzas I made tonight. A friend gave me a jar of gourmet tomato sauce made by a real professional chef from scratch! She put it in an old Ragu jar---but make no mistake, this wasn’t Ragu---this was premium stuff! It tasted amazing!
Other than some stair climbing, we really didn’t have much of an organized workout today. We were too caught up in our time together. And we packed our schedule pretty tight today and tonight. We should have made it downstairs to the fitness room late, we really should have. But sometimes---at the risk of sounding like a convenient rationalization, sometimes it’s OK. I don’t want her to go back to school tomorrow night, but I know she must. I’m so proud of that girl. I love you Amber!
Thank you for reading! Day 517 was a good one on many different levels. Goodnight and…