Taking Care of A Renewed Spirit
Taking care of a renewed spirit requires constant care for me. I find myself being overly cautious (not sure that's possible or a bad thing at all); applying thoughtful intent with every choice I'm making. It's simply a matter of stopping long enough to question what I'm doing and why I'm doing it. And not the bogus reasons an addict creates, but real solid, honest reasons why. If my choice passes the truth test, I proceed. It sounds like it might make for a long day but it doesn't really because these decisions, choices develop quickly--and the most honest, right and good ones are the easiest to recognize because they don't require long explanations or fancy word rationalizations. You know they're right from the start. If a choice is taking too long to "pass," then it's likely not the best choice for me, at this time.
And as I've said from the very beginning--I'm not perfect, never will be. But I can and I am doing my best everyday. My original goal of a return to daily posting hasn't exactly happened yet and that's okay. Eleven posts in the first two weeks of the year is a great start considering I've posted fourteen updates a year for the past two. The first twenty-two months of this blog was daily and it's when I experienced my greatest success. I'm remembering what an important role daily blogging played and again, I'm doing my best today. My biggest challenge is resisting the urge to write more. Let me explain: When I sit down to write, I have many updates in my mind. I also have my insights, philosophies and opinions... and I sometimes have an issue keeping to a timed schedule. If I say--"okay, I'll update daily, but I'll give myself a time limit of 30 minutes"---it sounds good in theory...then an hour and a half later I'm hitting the post button. I'm afraid anything less and this blog would be a very different type blog. I guess I feel at home here. I may not know you personally, but I know if you're reading this, chances are good we have some things in common along this road. So, that "at home" feeling...yeah, like you can talk--open up and be understood, is a powerful draw to me.
I've cooked a bunch lately. From turkey burgers to lean venison, some kind of crazy Hawaiian chicken creation to simply grilling a chicken breast. I'm still fairly limited on my vegetable profile---green beans are a staple along with yellow squash and asparagus. I'm using mushrooms and green peppers in my breakfast omelets and of course, I've had a supply of Joseph's Oat Bran-Flax Seed-Whole Wheat 60 calorie pitas too. I'm limiting potatoes, almost completely out of my menu actually. For me, I think part of my loyalty to the potato was simply routine, because I'm finding if I don't have it, I don't miss it. Eggs are a big part--I go through at least four egg whites a day in the morning (above mentioned omelet), and sometimes I have a couple whole eggs, scrambled for a mid afternoon protein snack. I have a giant stock-pile of steel cut oats and after recently ruining a crock pot full, I haven't made another attempt. I do like them--and I like how I feel when I eat them...it's simply a convenience thing that I don't, very often. Although plenty of suggestions have come in on how to make them, store them and enjoy them. It's just a matter of taking a little time for preparation. I stick with apples, oranges and pears for fruit--and occasionally baby carrots make their way into my bag for snacks. Today, ill prepared--I ended up snacking on a 100 calorie snack bag of Pop Secret popcorn and a few pear slices a co-worker shared with me.
I made a triumphant return to the spin studio at the YMCA this evening. Okay, maybe "triumphant return" isn't the right description. I awkwardly climbed onto the spin cycle in the far back corner of the room...after a long absence from this class--and I proceeded to...uh...stay positive Sean...I did okay. Yeah--I made it through the entire class and I stayed on the suggested gear the entire time. That's a victory today. My RPM's might not have been what they were at one time, but I was there and doing it and it felt very good. The biggest thing I enjoy about spinning is the completely drenched workout it gives me. I never leave a spin class wondering if I had a good workout. There isn't a doubt. It's very good for me. I'm planning on spinning a minimum of twice a week with an intent of finding a third on a Friday or Saturday, depending on my schedule.
I'm feeling very good about a number of things lately. I've been exercising my spirituality lately, now more than ever and it's clearly making giant differences in my perspective. I don't dive into my most personal spiritual relationship, but as you might imagine, it's a monumental part of my recovery. My attitude has made a crucial shift, my focus has tightened and suddenly I have greater strength to move consistently forward in the right direction.
When I post something to facebook--it's sometimes just a quick update or a picture of a meal. Other times, I take a little more time and thought in posting what I call a "micro-blog." The challenge for me--is to communicate an idea or something I've experienced first hand along this road in a very quick/concise fashion. Today's:
"It's exciting when we realize the power we
posses to accomplish our truest desires. And what a relief to know we
don't have to figure it all out beforehand. We have faith to simply put
one foot in front of the other and move forward in step with right and
good. When changes come along, we're within sight—able to see what we
once couldn't imagine in our wildest. That's exciting. Happy travels."
Thank you for reading and for your wonderful support. Goodnight and...