That's The Cough Syrup Talking
Me: I haven't been sick like this in years. I can't remember the last time.
Long time friend: This is like "fat Sean sick."
Me: Yeah, it's been that long, sure has.
This conversation has been on my mind all day. And it's not what I want on my mind. And still, I've chosen to allow it to bother me. Has gaining back nearly 60 pounds weakened my immune system? Do you see what I do to myself? I know it's raised my blood pressure. At and around 230--for a year and a half--never sick. Gain nearly 60, sick twice in the last couple months. You know what? This isn't productive, this train of thought. There's silver linings and a wonderful future to think about. Like "fat Sean sick," I keep thinking about it. He (my friend) didn't mean anything bad by it, it was simply an observation. 500 pound Sean was sick all the time. 500 pound Sean probably missed a month or more of work a year. If not a month, pretty close I'm sure. Anyway... What about those silver linings...
Enough of that garbage.
The good news is, I feel better. The 2nd trip to the doctor was a great idea. Oh--I didn't share that here did I? Yes, Wednesday I made it to work--and made it home even worse than before. I tried to nap Wednesday afternoon but the throat pain accompanied by headache and nausea wasn't letting me sleep. My over the counter plan (suggested at my first doctors visit) wasn't working. Late afternoon (Wednesday) I decided to return to the doctor. This time it was a different doctor, a PA actually. She was good--she immediately recognized a sinus infection and seemed to understand exactly what I needed. I needed my throat to stop hurting. Hurting to swallow is expected with a sore throat, but hurting to breathe and laugh? That's super sore. She prescribed an antibiotic, a steroid and the best--worst tasting prescription strength cough syrup with narcotic pain killer in the mix. Three prescriptions later and I'm doing much better. My throat pain is gone. And that's a big one for me.
It's a good thing I'm hardly ever sick, because I'll admit--I'm a BIG BABY.
Let's discuss healthy stuff, like exercise...
The Sean that's super hard on himself: You realize you haven't had a good workout all week?
Me: I've been sick?
The Sean that's super hard on himself: Yeah yeah, whatever...And you wonder why you've only lost one pound in recent weeks.
Me: I hadn't mentioned that yet.
The Sean that's super hard on himself: Well, what are you waiting for?
Me: I was getting to it. I thought I would talk about my walk tonight first.
The Sean that's super hard on himself: You mean that little two mile stroll in the park?
Me: You're not good for me. It wasn't little. I've been sick. Two miles outside was enough tonight. It's cold and damp out there...honestly, I shouldn't have been out there to begin with...
Okay--enough of that nonsense.
It was a conversation like this that led me to the trail tonight in the first place. I made it a couple miles and called it good. It wasn't my best, but I'm not feeling my best. It was good for me, right now. Good for me tonight.
Yesterday at 5:40am I was standing on the scale inside the locker room at our local YMCA. It's one of those balance scales. I know these are supposed to be the best, but I prefer a digital readout. I'm seriously contemplating driving every two weeks to the health department in Stillwater just for the trusty digital scales I used during the first three quarters of my initial weight loss. I'm not complaining because I lost 1 pound. I'll take it. I'm okay. I was expecting a few more actually--and I'll get them, they're coming off. No worries. For now, at this moment--I weigh 288. I don't like that at all.
I stopped at the post office today to ship a few orders from my website and I ran into someone who's known me for some time. She asked how I was doing--and of course I immediately thought she had recognized weight gain--and so naturally I start explaining---"well, yeah---I've gained some, 59 pounds and..." And she interrupted me and asked... "Really? I hadn't noticed. You still look great." Now--I'm not sure if she was being nice or if she just didn't pay close enough attention before...or maybe I feel and notice it more than anyone. There's a noticeable difference. I've had a couple people come right out and say it... So I know it's noticeable. 59 pounds--well, now 58...Is noticeable. I'm lucky I'm 6'3 and carry my weight as well as I do. By the way-- I did say thank you to the nice lady at the post office. (even if I didn't fully believe her)
Tomorrow I'll be doing what I love to do: Speaking to a group of people about weight loss and all of the dynamics I've discovered and continue to discover along the way. I'll be speaking of success, struggle and the balance we find along the way. I'll be speaking of this blog and my book too and how sharing my life so openly has helped me while at the same time, challenged me.
Next Saturday I'll be traveling to a speaking event at the Hard Rock Hotel in Tulsa where I'll be speaking to a conference of doctors. I'll be giving them my experience, philosophies and insight on obesity and weight loss. It'll be an interesting experience, I'm sure! I'm truly honored to be invited to their big conference!
I haven't been doing my metabolism any favors the last several days. I've come in under budget because I simply haven't felt like eating. Lots of eggs, soup and jello. Easy stuff. I'll be back to feeling like me again 100% in a day or two, maybe three tops as I continue to take this arsenal of medication.
I better call it a night. Thank you for reading...goodnight and, (if you think this post is loopy--I blame the cough syrup)