July 6th, 2014 This Is Part Of The Deal
This has been a wonderfully long day! I started the day with a small portion of yellow watermelon instead of a big breakfast, my usual weekend brunch type meal. I did this because I knew I would be picking mom up and we'd be dining out for lunch at our favorite Stillwater Mexican place. I do my best to have some variety when I'm preparing meals at home, but when I'm eating out in a restaurant I don't like variety, I prefer certainty.
I know the single order of chicken fajitas at Mexico Joe's in my hometown is a precisely measured 4 ounces of chicken on a bed of grilled onions and peppers. I know that if I order corn tortillas instead of the flour it normally comes with, I'll save considerable calories. I know for certain, I can get in and out of there within my calorie budget, no worries. I shared the order with mom and we each were satisfied. We talked about how different things could be there--and how easy it would be to consume a couple thousand calories like we had so many times before. Then, we talked about our approach now and how satisfied we were-- full, but not stuffed--satisfied and confident, content and certain in our resolve and commitment in taking better care.
On the way into the restaurant I met the organizer of my 25th high school reunion in the parking lot. I paid my dues to join the festivities later this month. Deciding to attend this reunion is a big deal for me. I don't have time right now to explain why it's a big deal to me, but I will soon, right here in these pages.
Mom and I made our way back to Ponca City in just enough time to make it into the store for Noah's birthday party supplies, to the studio to give some family members a tour of the downtown studios where I work and then to my grandson's 1st birthday party.
I bought five quarts of ice cream today. So if you're local to me and you witnessed me grabbing the giant container from the freezer section--and you thought, oh no--he's jumping off the wagon!! Nope! I was responsible for a certain portion of the party supply list and ice cream just happened to be one of the items.
The party was a fantastic event. Noah was overwhelmed with so much love and attention. He really got into ripping open his seemingly endless stream of gifts (even if he was more fascinated with the paper and packaging then the actual presents--hey, he's 1!!). The "smash cake" was a fun 10 minutes. He tore through that little chocolate cake like a man on a mission to destroy! He consumed very little cake. He was too busy annihilating it into a giant mess. It was cute.
I helped pass out the cake and ice cream. I felt like a recovering alcoholic volunteering to be the bartender. I was distributing a substance that's basically my kryptonite. Accepting and embracing this truth about me has given me a wonderful clarity and freedom. It wasn't will power that kept me from eating the cake and ice cream, because I didn't want it. It was knowing that one bite, let alone a plate full, would certainly send me spiraling. Like a recovering alcoholic avoids vodka, so it goes with me and sugar.
I'm not willing to trade this wonderful feeling I have these days for 5 minutes with cake and ice cream. It's not that I can't. Because I could easily make that transaction, just like I have hundreds of times in my past. It's that I won't, period. It feels good. It's not a case of deprivation or feeling left out--not at all...it's a matter of taking extraordinary care, and understanding, for me--this is part of the deal. Everyone at the party understood where I am at this point in my life and not one of them said a word to the contrary. It was a wonderful experience.
Mom and I hurried back to my place after the party for a good dinner. I made some lean beef tacos, homemade guacamole and rice chips. It was delicious and exceptionally satisfying.
Mom is going to work with me in the morning. If you're interested in listening to "The Sean and Mom In The Morning" Show, simply click this link anytime between 6am and 9am Central: http://player.authorizedstream.com/?pid=593 I can't wait to have mom in studio again! It'll be fun!
Thank you for reading,