Saturday, July 12, 2014

July 12th, 2014 Something Dramatic Changed

July 12th, 2014 Something Dramatic Changed

Planning, preparing and packing served me well today. I had a midday location broadcast until 2pm, so I made sure to pack a good lunch. It was an interesting broadcast day.

First, Ruth, A longtime listener stopped by the broadcast to register for the concert tickets we were giving away. She recalled taking my picture at an annual station event called Ladies Night Out. I was wearing a nice tuxedo in the October 2010 photo (same as the picture located on the left hand side bar of this blog). I don't think I've seen her since that night. Normally, I would have felt embarrassed at having an obvious weight gain in front of someone, anyone who hasn't laid eyes on me since my days around 230 pounds, but I didn't at all. We chatted for a few minutes, talked about her upcoming retirement, her sons pending nuptials and of course, we talked about weight loss, briefly. I mentioned how wonderful I feel now and how confident I am to once again be moving in the direction toward my healthiest weight.

Running into this regular listener brought back wonderful memories of how good it felt wearing that tuxedo at 232 pounds. I'll be honest, as good as it felt, it still wasn't as good as I feel today. That might sound strange considering I'm a little over 100 pounds from wearing that size tuxedo again, but it isn't strange to me. As soon as I started embracing the positive attributes and qualities in me and I stopped attaching my identity and self worth to a number on a scale or the size of my pants--something dramatic changed. And the perspective was shifted in an instant.

I love me regardless of my size. As I once again head toward my healthiest weight, I do it with the certainty of my self-worth and identity in tact the entire way. It's not something that magically appears when I reach a certain weight or fit into a sharp looking tuxedo.  My self worth and identity doesn't improve with weight loss and it doesn't diminish with weight gain. Keeping my focus and perspective in this most wonderful place has provided instant relief from any possible negative feelings developing in front of people I haven't seen in a long time. This is big-time growth for me. By the way, Ruth ended up having her entry drawn from the prize boot for a pair of concert tickets!

I was also visited by a doctor (not my regular doctor) during my broadcast. I've known this doctor for a few years and he's been supportive of what I do to a certain extent (although I know he doesn't "get me" completely.) Lately, he's losing weight too and feeling great. Good for him! I'm happy for his success! But this is where my enthusiasm stops. You see, he's turning what works for him into big business and he's been after me to join him in this effort. He knows full well I've avoided his calls and texts purposely because I'm not interested in touting the latest and "greatest" diet or whatever he's doing. He started laying on the pressure today for me to jump on board with his plan. For one, I was working, in the middle of a broadcast!!! I don't walk into his practice while he's with a patient and force feed him Joseph's Pitas and the latest pictures from my Twitter feed.

It was the wrong time, wrong place, wrong approach and wrong attitude! I said, "Look, I'm very happy doing what I do and I'm doing very well. I don't have time, nor do I want to consider doing what you're doing because what I'm doing is working for me." I was uncharacteristically direct, because this guy doesn't seem to understand subtle. Then, perhaps as a defense I suppose, I mentioned the time I invest in me--taking extraordinary care, eating better, exercising regularly and maintaining this blog and twitter feed on a daily basis. And that's when he said something that instantly turned me off. 

He came back with: (in reference to this blog) "How much money is that making you??" He's very lucky I'm a nice guy and I have peace of mind in my own certainty. He's also lucky that I have the ability to be compassionate toward his disturbingly affected perspective. In other words, I didn't take this exchange personally, it was all him. Still, he instantly lost my respect and attention. How much money do I make from my blog? What an enormously disrespectful question. I don't make money directly from this blog. What I do "make" is far more valuable than money. I'm making a life, helping myself and often times to my surprise and delight, helping others along the way. I'm "paid" handsomely in the form of clarity, perspective and tremendous support from all over the world. So, Doctor, if you're reading this, make a point to remember: I'm not interested in your "magic" weight loss remedy or becoming some kind of spokesperson and testimonial for your weight loss business. I wish you continued success and good health, but seriously--save yourself some time and energy and lose my number. 

I spent the evening with a friend I haven't seen in a very long time. We enjoyed  an awesome dinner and fantastic conversation. It was also a wonderful opportunity to try lamb chops for the first time. The meal was a little "pricey" in the calorie department, but in hindsight I could have pared it down quite easily. We dined on a very good meal and afterward I had a chance to try Shakeology for the first time. It was dessert. I only had enough calories remaining to have 1/3 serving, but wow--it was great! I'm seriously thinking about adding this nutrient dense food in an effort to bump up my calorie budget as my workouts become longer and more intense. I'm going to need more fuel for my body! This is also something new to my journey: Willingness to change up what I'm doing. For me, the only thing that I don't ever plan on changing and I pray I never do, is my abstinence from sugar. As addicted as I was to it, I'm getting very addicted to feeling good without it in my system. I'd rather feel good!

It's late, so I'll wrap this edition with my meal tweets of the day and hit the pillow!






Thank you for reading and your continued support,
Strength,
Sean

12 comments:

  1. Hey Sean, lots of good thoughts in here. Thank you for the positive attitude, and sharing so much of yourself.

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    1. Absolutely, you're very welcome! It helps me tremendously! I hope some of what I share helps you too.

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  2. Hmmm. Regarding the doctor's "How much money are you making?" question. I wonder if he was referencing your book sale over there on the sidebar and suggesting that his plan would bring in more bucks than that endeavor--rather than implying anything negative about your blog itself.

    Regardless, he sounds like a jerk.

    Deb

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    1. Deb, I appreciate that possible intention. I had just finished telling him the commitment and investment I make in this blog, when he countered with that question. Regardless, it's okay. I don't begrudge anyone the right to make a living, God knows I've made money from book sales, speaking events, group coaching sessions and sales of bracelets and audio versions--(Although it's much less than what one might think.) The difference to me is the intent of the work. I would like to someday leave my broadcasting career behind and do what I do here for a living...but I pray my intent will never shift the focus from being real to being all about the money--because that's when the entire message and purpose gets unaligned and misappropriated... His pitch to me was clearly all about making as much money as possible, as quickly as possible--what I didn't share in the above post is how obvious this was during our conversation...he even showed me his car as a way for me to be impressed with how well he does. I wasn't impressed. I don't get impressed by things. I honestly believe he means well, but despite his extensive education and professional background, he somehow doesn't connect on things I take for granted as natural. And that's okay. We're all different. Doesn't make him a bad person. Bless his heart.

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    2. Ahhhh. I think I can hear the tone of voice now. :} Methinks that the MD is a jerk. (That would be my professional opinion, of course.)

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  3. That doctor sounds kind of like a tool. I think you handled yourself very well. Your blog does help me. I read your book in early 2012, so you did make some money off of me. No complaints here though, it was well worth it. Your attitude, focus and dedication are out of this world.

    I've only had lamb once. My friends served a mint sauce with it, which didn't do much for me. I will give lamb another chance one of these days though. It just wasn't something my parents prepared while I was growing up, so as an adult it didn't ever cross my mind.

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    1. Thank you so much for not only your support of my book and what I do, but your very kind words here. I appreciate it very much!
      I'm not sure if I'll go out of my way to cook it again. I still have some in the freezer, so I'll likely try it again--but without getting it relatively cheap--like I did this time, I doubt I'll be willing to fork over the premium cost in the future.

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  4. Sorry but anyone with that kind of attitude you can do without! I truly believe that we all need to find what works for us. We are all individuals and one thing can't work for all. Besides anyone who's in it for the money before the health isn't going to get far. Just my 2 cents.

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  5. Glad to see you're doing well, my friend.

    You are in the right frame-of-mind. I'm still working on getting there.

    I love how direct you were with the Doctor. I work in Wellness (dietitians) at a hospital, and people are bombarding us with crap all the time. A real turn off is when they say, "as seen on Dr. Oz."

    You keep doing what is best for you.

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  6. reminds me of Kirstie Ally. She lost over 100 lbs on Jennie Craig, and gained some of that back when she stopped doing Jennie Craig. Next was Dancing with the Stars and she lost a whole bunch more, developed her own diet products, next thing I know is that she's doing commercials for Jennie Craig again, "Jennie, can I come home?"

    Schemes like commercial weight loss and the doc who makes a bundle on his new gimmick will not last. Sean, you are discovering what works for you and I'm so glad that you aren't buying into a quick buck.

    You are authentic. Keep it up.

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  7. Sean,
    Thank you SO MUCH!!! I suffer from chronic depression and low self-esteem. I was having a really bad time of it on Saturday, and called a close friend. She sent me the URL for your blog, and I've been catching up on your back posts ever since. They've been a tremendous help, especially the one from May 15th.

    I was always skinny as a child and young adult - until, in my late 20's, corticosteroids became a necessary part of my asthma treatment. I put on about 40 lbs. then, but more importantly, it fluctuated a lot more. So I dropped 20 of those pounds, but my weight would go up again, and I'd diet and lose some, and then gain it back. Still, I'm 5' 6", and 165 was not outrageously large. When my daughter was born, even with the C-section, I didn't gain that much (morning sickness), and remained at a fairly reasonable weight. It was when my marriage wasn't doing so well, and then my in-laws were both killed in an auto accident, that I truly lost control. Within a year I was over 190, and within 5 years I shot up to 250. That number scared me, plus I have high blood pressure, so I did what I could to control it. Which got me down to 220 - 230. Not very good, and I was a life-long sugar addict. And I knew it.

    When my daughter was a senior in high school, I left my ex-husband. Most people lose weight from the stress of a divorce, but I gained. I topped out at 266 pounds. On New Year's Day of 2011, I vowed to lose weight. Using my standard food journal & calorie counting method, I dropped 10 pounds by the end of February. And gained 5 back by the end of April. What I was doing wasn't working, and I was out of ideas.

    Then a good friend needed to do some business in my area, and stayed with me for a few days, in May. I date the reclamation of my life from that visit. She read me the riot act concerning my weight. Most important, though, she convinced me to eliminate sugar from my diet.

    I had always known that sooner or later I was going to have to give it up. Type II diabetes is all over both sides of my family. But, like a true addict, I really ENJOYED the stuff. Plus my oh-so-sensitive metabolism had nasty reactions to all of the substitutes. (Which are just as bad for people, but I didn't know that back then.)

    So, with the support and coaching of my friend, I eliminated all processed sugar and anything with chemical preservatives from my diet. If only I had known!!! In less than a week my ankles, which had been chronically swollen for years, went back to normal. And stayed that way, even when traveling. I also dropped 8 - 10 pounds.

    From May until Thanksgiving, I dropped 50 pounds. It's just too crazy for me to try to lose over the Holidays, so I maintained, then dropped another 20 lbs. in 2012. Which got my weight under 200 for the first time in years. All without counting a single calorie!

    In the fall of 2012 I contracted Hep B, and was barely over it by Thanksgiving. So - disastrously - I returned to my old eating habits for the Holiday season. How much weight could I gain in 8 weeks, after all? The answer: 40 pounds!!!! It took me most of 2013 to correct that mistake, and I have vowed to never, never do that again. In fact, while I was moving early this year, my scales were in storage for 3 months. I normally weigh myself every morning, as I like to be aware of fluctuations. I was under a lot of stress and - I confess - there was Hagen Daas. Several times. Each time, though, I went back to eating healthy as soon as possible. When the scales came out of storage, I had lost 2 pounds!

    (To be continued.)

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  8. Since then I've dropped 10 more. And hope to reach my goal weight of 155 by this November. Another 37 to go.

    But my real esteem problem is not currently my weight. It's money. Which is why I was so happy to read your blog this morning. During the 25 years of my marriage, I was not employed outside of the home. I took care of my ex, raised my daughter, and did volunteer work. I was back in college for web design when I was divorced, but despite sending out literally hundreds of resumes, I got not a single nibble. I hesitate to cite age or sex discrimination, especially in the current economic conditions, but I don't think people really believed a woman in her 50's could do computer work. And, truthfully, I wasn't that excited about writing software again

    So I have been trying other things. None of which truly attract me. And my spousal support is about to end.

    And just when I'm feeling like our culture only values material wealth, you go & write this terrific blog about a materialist doctor, with whom you completely disagree. Thank you! Thank you for not buying in to that idiot's view, even if it reflects the mainstream of the culture. I will be reading your blog regularly in the future. <3

    Jeanmaire

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