If I had kept this diary prior to September 15th, 2008, it would have revealed someone desperate for some kind of life saving solution.
One of the biggest and scariest thoughts I had back then centered around the idea that life will always contain stressful and emotional situations. They may change in shape and size and with consequences big and small, but they will always be a part of a balanced and normal life.
It was a scary revelation because I had decided, concretely, that I couldn't in any way, shape or form--lose weight successfully unless everything was smooth sailing, every day, every week and so on.
I accepted, as fact: When the rain starts pouring, I start eating.
This perspective afforded me an endless supply of excellent excuses for why "now isn't a good time."
A "perfect time" is a myth. If I had waited for the perfect time, there's a good chance I wouldn't be alive today.
When someone asks me, what clicked on September 15th, 2008? It was truly the realization that if I was going to survive, I had to remain consistent come what may. I had to walk in the rain and not be afraid. I had to make an iron-clad decision that this time was going to be different from any other previous attempt.
No longer could I allow my resolve to be hard wired into the ups and downs of life. My resolve required a separate power source.
For me, Day 1 was the start of my parallel streams philosophy. I just didn't know what to call it back then.
I found out what happens when I plug my importance level/resolve back into the ups and downs of life. My life stream and fundamental elements stream crossed, and it didn't take too long for these to tangle in such a way, I felt more lost than ever before--and regained 164 pounds of my initial 275 pound weight loss.
This turnaround over the last year-plus, had to start with untangling the two streams and then adding additional measures to keep them separate, including more traditional practices in recovery and stronger accountability/support tools.
Dr. Marty Lerner, PhD, one of the world's leading experts on food addiction recovery, foreshadowed this entire experience in his review of Transformation Road, printed on the very first page of the book. He wrote: "Although incorporating some suggestions that run contrary to some recovered food addicts, Sean's experiences are worth learning about and considering."
I had a great day today. Much better than yesterday.
I'll make my way into the doctor's office for my fifty-five week weigh-in tomorrow morning! I always share the details on Facebook and Twitter first--and then this blog twelve to fifteen hours later. I'm not too concerned one way or another about the weigh-in. I feel grateful, I feel blessed and I feel wonderful about who I am and what I'm doing. Isn't that what it's all about?
My Tweets Today:
Good morning! Good coffee! Sugar free hazelnut creamer (1tblspn per cup) 2 cups. 60 cal. pic.twitter.com/OfINOY02pq— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) May 12, 2015
Avocado omelet w/3whites-1whole egg, 91g avocado, salt & pepper, Anjou pear & 130g strawberries. 409 cal. pic.twitter.com/BV9QsqUxwe— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) May 12, 2015
Flat bread pizza w-1/2 serving sugar free tomato basil sauce, 4 slices mozzarella & 3oz 93% lean beef. Apple. 516 cal pic.twitter.com/OJfHmZRz7u— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) May 12, 2015
Dark roast with sugar free hazelnut creamer (1tblspn) 2 cups (one now, one later) 60 cal. pic.twitter.com/nbmZr31THm— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) May 12, 2015
Fajita chicken (6oz) & zucchini tacos w/light sr crm (3tblspns total) & lettuce. Salsa, blue trt.chips (14g). 521 cal pic.twitter.com/ULtECnIWvv— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) May 12, 2015
Climbing aboard the magical elliptical lip syncing experience ride. #workouttime #letssweat 2 cups water. #waterhelps pic.twitter.com/7jGKfea7pI— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) May 13, 2015
Some say it's a bad pop song. I don't care! I rock the lip sync on "We Built This City." In 1985, I wanted to be that radio guy in the song.— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) May 13, 2015
Great workout. #sweatmachine #towelplease #naturalhigh #endorphinsflowing 2 cup bottle refill. #watergoal pic.twitter.com/UN4wf0fTPi— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) May 13, 2015
Small trip... Came looking for Cara Cara oranges. None to be found! pic.twitter.com/ywo58oFHHl— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) May 13, 2015
Thank you for reading and your continued support,