Friday, July 17, 2015

July 17th, 2015 Once Upon A Time

July 17th, 2015 Once Upon A Time

Today was one of those days when an extra pause to express gratitude is in order. I loved today. I'm immensely blessed to be able to do something for a living that I thoroughly enjoy while utilizing my talents and passions. All of those elements were present at my heaviest--a job where I'm allowed to be creative on the radio and exercise my natural abilities and passion for communicating--I've been doing it since I was sixteen years old. The difference isn't in what I'm doing every day, the difference is now, I'm actually making a point to recognize and express gratitude for the wonderful blessings in my life. If one is blessed but doesn't recognize it, are they still blessed? If it's not acknowledged and appreciated then they never experience the comfort and peace those blessings bring. Shutting it out and opting for a less grateful perspective was something I was really good at doing once upon a time.

Gratitude is a part of this recovery process for me. Slowing down long enough to shift my perspective to a more positive one has enabled me to experience epiphanies I wouldn't have otherwise.

The schedule today wasn't too much. I found a nap time before getting ready for tonight's performance of the play. The play was a wonderful success again tonight! I opted to postpone dinner until the cast and crew party at our local Ground Round Grill and Bar. I played with the idea of having an alcoholic drink as long as I found something refined sugar free, but then I decided to use those calories on food instead. I blasted past my minimum daily water goal of 64 ounces, consuming 64 ounces at the cast party alone!

There's so much more I wanted to write about tonight, but I'll wait until tomorrow night. It's super late. The good news is, my Saturday schedule is fairly clear. I can sleep in and believe me, I plan on it!!

 photo 11752168_10155961300530045_8012866308965800984_n_zpsxybvwnb2.jpg
The cast photo of Dog Sees God: Confessions of A Teenage Blockhead with corporate sponsor Roy Pemberton in the center and director Chris Williams over his left shoulder. Cast members include: Colt Smith, Ashley Clark, Morgan Ham, Andrea Storm, Gina Soucek, Stephen Long and Edward Dixon.

I'm not sure I've ever looked forward to a good workout like I'm looking forward to my trip to the YMCA tomorrow. I've allowed myself to cut way back on workouts throughout the rehearsal process of this show and now we're down to the final three performances--so it's time to get back into my consistent exercise routine/schedule.

My Tweets Today:

Thank you for reading and your continued support,


  1. I have never been able to not go off the wagon with food choices when I'm out of my routine. Say like a birthday, holiday, etc....and the much bigger problem for me is it's an opportunity to go nuts for a few days after that too. It takes that long for me to reel myself back in. Or another one is something happens to me that upsets me and I've always used food to numb myself. I can't figure out how not to. So what I'm saying in the lo g version is how do I gain those tools? It's just not happen ing for me.

    1. Robin, thank you for sharing your struggle. You're not alone.
      One thing that's helped me is making sure my plan is something I enjoy--in other words, I'm loving the foods I "get" to eat, everyday. It isn't something I dread. What happens is, when my perception and expectation of what it means for me to be "on plan," is something I can easily live with, I'm less likely inclined to take a vacation or holiday, from it. There's no desire to flee from deprivation into an anything goes type situation--because I don't feel deprived.
      Now-- here's the rub:
      Even with this "I'm loving it" plan in place, what you described still happens...
      My abstinence from refined sugar may have very well turned off the "binge switch," those biochemical reactions in the addictive part of my brain--but what it doesn't stop is, my natural inclination to seek comfort in excess food when times get stressful and emotional.
      It takes a separate action plan to deal with that. And it doesn't stop it to simply say, "excess food doesn't solve anything--it doesn't help resolve issues--it isn't a fixer--it's simply a temporary diversion--a distraction from our real experiences..." Does it help? The only help it provides is that temporary distraction from whatever is weighing heavy on our minds at any given moment. BUT AGAIN-- saying that, processing it, agreeing with it 100%, still doesn't stop the tendency to dive in when we're feeling those things.
      One thing to remember: Feelings have a beginning and an end. Whatever it is, will come and go--weigh heavy, then subside--be on the forefront of your consciousness and then fade back into your sub-consciousness. When you're feeling like buffering your emotions with food--remember that this will pass...the moment will evolve and change...and in the meantime, while it's pressing: Find support asap!!!!

    2. Part 2:
      This is the most critical element I've discovered along my path: Building your support and accountability structure is imperative to your success. Find someone to be a support text buddy/friend. When those feelings start welling up and the obsessive food thoughts come flowing into your head--tell on 'em!!! Don't keep them exclusively in your head--because if you do, they'll typically win, almost every time. Share what you're thinking--get it out in the open...When you "tell on 'em," it has a powerful effect. What happens when a playground bully is exposed to authority figures? They typically turn into little angels. Same dynamic. When we expose those thoughts by bringing in our "support team," something powerful happens---suddenly we're not facing it alone...suddenly our resolve to maintain the integrity of our plan is strengthened--often times, just in the nick of time.
      The other day--Wednesday, did you read that post? When I called Gerri for spot support--I was on the brink of a meltdown. It doesn't matter how much success I've had--I am NEVER immune to relapse. I fully believe, had I not reached out when I did, I could have and would have easily tried to fix things with food. The damage would have been minimal on a physical level--and crushing on a mental/emotional level. I was walking a tightrope--and the support call was the platform and rail I needed to restore my stability.
      If you don't have a support system, make a point to create one. If you do not have anyone close to you who would appreciate this kind of mutual support--then explore other support/accountability options. OA has free meetings via phone, even--where you can connect with people who understand exactly what you're experiencing.
      Also, explore your accountability measures. As you know--my accountability level is set super high. My tweets and this blog might be considered "extreme" accountability--but you know what? Its level of accountability is as high as I needed and continue to need in order to maintain my positive progress.
      What's interesting to me is when someone comments on how strong and consistent I am---because trust me, if you stripped away my support system network and my accountability measures, I'd likely be eating my way back to 500 pounds. That's no joke.
      And if this is how I maintain a healthy body weight for the rest of my life, then I must make sure I'm making it something I enjoy doing...the food and exercise--I can make it things I love and thoroughly enjoy, sure. Those two things are the least of it along this road.
      The toughest issues are the ones you've shared. I hope what I've shared with you here, helps.

    3. Here's what I really want to say oh my gosh when am I freakin going to get this??? How many times do I have to start over!!!!!!!!!

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  2. Great cast photo! The title of you play continues to remind me of a favorite riddle.

    What does an atheist who is dyslexic and suffers from insomnia do at night?

    He lays in bed, awake, and wonders if there is a Dog.


    1. Thank you for the smile, Deb! And the compliment! This cast is a bunch of wonderful people--all of them much more experienced actors than I! I'm learning from them every night. And I'm having the time of my life, I assure you!

  3. You look great, Sean, and I'm so very proud of you. You are a shining example of living a balanced life now. :)

    1. Gwen, thank you very much. As you know, it's certainly a daily practice. Some days feels more balanced than others, it's never constant--always fluctuating. I do know, if I continue to make important the fundamental elements bringing me this far, I have a much better chance at keeping a continued balance. And thank you for the compliment!

  4. Honestly, you stick out as HAWT in that photo. Just telling it like it is.

    1. Divad, thank you (face turning a shade of pinkish red). :) You're wonderful! Thanks for the compliment! Hawt with a "W" is hotter than hot, I believe. LOL Thank you for the smile you brought!

  5. Sean~ Your life must be just full of energy with all the lovely people you have around yourself! I envy that. You just sparkle when you write lately . I can feel your peace.
    Congrats on the play! Now on to your next venture! Can't wait to read about that!
    Have a good Sunday!


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