Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Day 318 Steel Curtain Zone Activated

Day 318

Steel Curtain Zone Activated

It's been a rough evening. A very rough evening. It has nothing to do with my food and exercise. If you've read my blog for any length of time or you've gone back and read from day one, then you know: No emotion, no circumstance, no stress, no person, place, or thing is going to steal this journey away from me. I'm succeeding no matter what comes my way, good or bad—for better or for worse. My “steel curtain zone” is taking a beating at this moment for reasons that I can't appropriately talk about right now in these writings. I didn't even want to say what I've said already, because I know it may cause a flood of calls from friends and family wondering “what's wrong?” But here's the deal. This blog is real. It's a 100% must that this blog be very real and extremely honest. So it's very hard to put on a smile and write a happy uplifting post about how wonderful things are if they're not. And up until a little while ago, I thought everything was fine. And when it comes to the integrity and consistency of this journey, it's all good...everything is wonderful in that regard. So really, keeping the focus where it should be---I'll write tonight's edition with the understanding that circumstances and emotions can be a killer to even the most successful of journey's. But it doesn't have to be. It can not be. It will not be.

When you're faced with unforeseen setbacks in your personal life, it's easy, very easy to completely stop caring about your journey. But this is when you must care even more. The embrace you have on this newfound way of thinking and living may need to be tightened, but you can't ever let it go. It's too important. The strides you've made, the weight you've lost, the victories you've won—those are yours to keep. Don't give them back for anything. Hold your head up high and boldly move forward with a determined spirit that will defeat anything that tries to get in the way of your dreams. That was for me.

I hate dramatics...can't stand it. I naturally want every single day to be perfect and happy---full of uplifting thoughts, ideas, and experiences. But I also know that when I signed up for this blog that I was making a solid agreement to relay my emotions and experiences along this journey in an honest display for anyone to read. Out of 318 days, I can count on one hand the number of days where it contained such a dramatic tone. If this is your first time to read this blog, that's too bad...because I take pride in my consistency, my success, my positive outlook, and my mission to spend the rest of my life helping others break free from obesity. Go back in the archives and read from Day 1 and you'll see what this blog is all about.

In the meantime, I'm headed out with my daughters for a good workout at the trail, and then I'm going to try getting to bed earlier. Goodnight and...

Good Choices,
Sean

P.S.--this has nothing to do with peanut butter and Fritos!

28 comments:

  1. We've all had these days Sean...you were here for me during mine...I'm here for you too. You've got my email if you need to talk.

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  2. I had a big meltdown yesterday. Reading your posts helps me know that change is possible.

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  3. We are praying for you Sean. Your ability to keep it real and to keep going is what has made the difference for many people--us included. Blessings--Bonnie and Andy

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  4. Praying for you too. Glad it has nothing to do with pb and fritos LOL.

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  5. In everybody’s garden
    a little rain must fall
    Or life’s sweetest
    fairest flowers,
    Wouldn’t grow and
    bloom at all.
    And though the
    clouds hang heavy
    So heavy.
    Oh! My friend.
    I’m sure that God who
    sends the shower
    Will send the
    rainbow’s end.

    My mom sent me that poem once when I was so upset about something that I couldn't share with her. Everyone's heard of it, but when times are really tough, I like to think of that and of her for comfort.

    I'm sorry about that steel curtain. I know your resolve is excellent with your health, I would never doubt that. You are always so wise..."But this is when you must care even more."

    There's nothing I can say, but know that I'm in your corner.

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  6. 'What is REAL?' asked the Rabbit one day.
    'REAL isn't how you are made,' said the Skin Horse. 'It's a thing that happens to you.'
    'Does it hurt?' said the Rabbit.
    'Sometimes,' said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. 'When you are real you don't mind being hurt.'
    I have no idea on earth what you are going through. None. Of course my imagination goes wild but nonetheless. You have always pumped me up and encouraged me. Now it's our turn to return the favor!
    You are awesome! You are doing fabulous! Real life is happening and you are not throwing everything away because of it! I tell everyone about you because you are REAL. I hope and pray that as you press through this hard time you will not lose sight of your goal. And in the long run, fritos and pbutter aren't going to hurt anybody. But seriously. Ew!
    I had the courage to write about my bad time last week because of bloggers like you who are REAL. Hugs Sean.

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  7. Not every day is perfect and losing weight doesn't solve all of life's problems either. They are still there and slap us in the face just for the fun of it.

    I hope everything improves for you and that you continue to cope with courage.

    (((hugs)))

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  8. I echo all the previous comments Sean.
    We have real lives and real lives have problems big and small.
    We all have to cope with good times and bad. I learnt a long time ago, that losing weight doesn't make everything right, life is more complicated than that thank God. Life would so shallow if losing the weight made it right.

    Your regular followers know you are not shallow, you are as real as real can be in this weird Land of Blog.

    I wish you love and peace, I hope what is troubling you will soon resolve it's self.

    Hugs

    Sheilagh

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  9. of all people, i hope you get through whatever is going on. i am sure, from what i read, that you can and will. i dont know what it is but i just want to say that you are alive right now and thats all that matters. ive had some dark days in my past, but the fact that i know that they were bad means that after those bad days came awesome ones. if its bad right now, it will be good again. i promise you that.

    and for not going off your plan....you are a testament to all of us.

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  10. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger....I hope everything gets better!

    Whitney

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  11. I agree with all of the above! I hope there is a resolution soon to be found for what is troubling you. My thoughts are with you and sending well wishes your way. Remember that we're all here for you!

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  12. If you're going through hell, keep going. (Winston Churchill)

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  13. It will get better Sean. Just hold tight to what you believe.

    Call me if you need to. You know I am always here.

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  14. Sean,
    I know that whatever you are going through right now is tough & I know that you will push through & you have to be the most focused person I know. I am so very appreciative of your supportive and kind words on my blog. Your post today reminds me of the Sundays in church when it seems as if the whole message was wriiten especially for me...Thank you for being such an honest and kind person. You are one in a billion!

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  15. You are in my prayers, brother. I'm praying that whatever is hurting you, brings you healing soon. And I am soooooo proud of you for not letting even this "cloud" in your life rip your curtain!
    Blessings, Sara

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  16. I agree with all of the other comments. Hang in there and "keep on keepin' on". Thanks for being and inspiration...even on your bad days.

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  17. I just want to add my words of encouragement. We can't always avoid the storms of life, but we can remain faithful to ourselves and our mission even though we are being battered from all sides. I hope your storms abate soon. Good luck!

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  18. This blog is for YOU. Don't apologize for having an off day. Your dedication and determination are incredible. Thoughts and prayers and good thoughts for you, and I hope everything works out!

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  19. This post meant so much to me! Thank you for sharing. Here's to our success!

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  20. Hopefully whatever it is gets worked out so your stress will be less!!
    And i have no doubt that you won't let this steer you off of your road to good health :)
    Sending good vibes your way.

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  21. Man, that velveteen rabbit (I think thats what it was) quote really got to me. That's what its all about. If we're really living, not just going through the motions while stuffing our face, then the pain that we really have to deal with now is still okay.

    I have a lot of respect and admiration for your attitude.

    I hope things get better.

    Take care.

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  22. Life can bring us some unseen twists and turns, some of which we are never really braced for. Hope whatever you're dealing with is a temporary bump on your path.

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  23. Ditto everyone's comments, Sean. I'll say a prayer for you today, and hope that the bump in the road is temporary or brings growth and healing to your life. WTG hanging in there despite it all.

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  24. I hope you enjoyed the hike with your daughters and that things will start to look up for you soon. Hang in there.

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  25. I like your attitude, Sean. Keep up the good work, my friend. You can do this.

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  26. Awww hon, did I send my EMO to u? LOL Don't u DARE let the shit in this world get u down. U r a fighter like me (look at me "tweeting this with U and R LOL) and there is NOTHING in this world that can make u think u r NOT worth this fight and battle we're making together in this world! Yeah, together.... you, me and all us other "Fit to Fab" peeps we're meeting along the line.

    Let me tell you something I used to tell my little "Brownie Troops".

    Some days they'd come to the meetings and be upset. They were such little ones and some things in the world were so big to them. One in particular stole my heart, she had a shitty home life and I was the closest thing to a mom she ever had. She came in, was quiet,then started crying when I hugged her.

    I took her off to the side, we sat on the porch actually for a few minutes, she cried until she was ready to talk. She had broken something and she said her mother (an alcoholic & obviously abuser) told her that she spent a lot of money on her and if she broke this particular thing she was gonna kill her. I smiled, took the item (it was literally a plastic head band that cost no more than $1.. to threaten death over a $1 item?) and i took her little face in my hands and told her. "Sweetie, there is NOTHING in this world that cannot somehow be fixed. Even things you think will never come out right, you can find a way to make it ok, or find someone to help you make it ok. I went in, super-glued the plastic head band & told her to use it carefully today when she went home, then put it on her dresser. At the next meeting I gave her an identical replacement (2 actually), it did cost me a whole $2. She had her other one in her bag, a new one to replace it and another one that I told her to put in her drawer or someplace just in case.

    Years later she came to me as a young lady, 20 now, and hugged me. She said "I've loved you since the very first time we met & you said something that often helped me make it through some shit in life." I knew what it was. She reminded me what I told her & I smiled. She said "You know what? It's true. I lost my job, I knew it wasn't the end of the world & that somehow it could be 'fixed', because you told me it could. I got a new job, all was fine. I had a horrible mother, she drank so bad, I hung in there and now live on my own. I love my mom, but I 'fixed' my issues of having to deal with her drunk all the time.

    So just remember my dear sweet friend, there is NOTHING in this world that can't be fixed. Even death, brings you to terms with eternity.

    ((((HUGS)))) You do NOT have to put that smile on 24/7. LOL Yeah, this coming from me right? LOL But honestly, keep going strong and know that u r NEVER alone.

    Email me if you need to:
    hockeygal4ever@gmail.com

    ANYTIME!

    Now lets get FIT together buddy! And I'm so not gonna ask about Fritos and Peanut butter because if you're mixing them... u need to have a pregnancy test.. I don't care if you ARE a man! LOL

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  27. Sean -
    I'm sorry you have something like this to deal with. I think you are going to be ok though - because you sound angry... not defeated. You have the fight in you to struggle and keep your acheivments, in spite of something slapping you in the face. I have always been vulnerable to some emotional crisis pulling me off course. Once you feel defeated with a loved one or other major part of life, the other struggles seem pointless. But you don't sound that way. It sounds like NOBODY is going to take it away from you. You may be having a hard time right now, but you seem to be in an ok place with it, does that make any sense at all? It will blow over, you know it will, it always does. The question is, will it take your integrity with it when it does ? I don't think so. Hang tight man, it will pass, and you will bounce right back, swinging. Thank you for being real in your post. You have helped ALOT of people - myself included.
    Thank you.

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  28. Darn lost my post. I hope today went ok for you. I know when things are tough food doesn't make it go away so way to go on staying positive and not letting anything derail you. Going for a walk always helps me, getting out in the sunshine and drinking it up, so hope you and the girls had a good walk.

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