Thursday, July 30, 2009

Day 319 Comfort Walking and The Bright Days Ahead

Day 319

Comfort Walking and The Bright Days Ahead

Today I did something I've never done. I laced up my shoes early and went walking at the trail this morning. We've walked the trail in the afternoon, late afternoon, evening, and late at night, but this was early morning. A completely different set of people out there in the A.M. and many with their dogs. I needed some time to think and clear my head. I took the iPod, but after listening to one song I turned it off so I could think. I didn't jog, I just walked. Instead of turning to comfort food, this was my comfort walk. The feeling you get when you discover something isn't what it seems or what you thought it was can be horrible. I discovered this morning: We've never actually walked a 10K after all. And all of the times we walked a 5K, except for the treadmill and at Boomer Lake in Stillwater, it was actually less. When we first started walking I was told that the trail we frequent was one mile exactly. I was skeptical, but after comparing our walks based on time to that of our treadmill walks, we concluded that one revolution was surely one mile on the dot. No, no it's not. The city has recently put up a sign showing the trail and giving the official distance as .83 mile. So in order to do a 5K, we need to walk almost four times around. A 10K needs to be 7.5 trips around. Wow. All this time we thought one thing and then to find out it's another. Oh well, it doesn't change or take away from our phenomenal results, but I feel like I should go back and place an asterisk beside every time I've blogged about doing a 5 or 10 K at that trail. Something like this can really bother me, but I can't let it get to me, we have more important things to worry about.

My blog last night was inspired by marital issues. Out of respect for my wife and family, that's all I should say specifically about that. It will in no way effect my journey and mission. I wanted to at least say something in regard to the inspiration for last night's blog. I sincerely appreciate all of the very kind and touching comments.

Handling whatever life throws our way without resorting to those old destructive eating habits for comfort is a very positive sign that we've made some serious mental breakthroughs. I was up at my regular time today, made a 180 calorie egg white breakfast burrito and coffee and just had time to ponder everything important to me. Instead of turning to food for comfort, I turned to exercise. This isn't the way the old Sean handled things, not by a long-shot. Is this new way of thinking and reacting really part of the new me? Yes, 100% completely. With a daily blog like this, there's always going to be days and happenings where it's not fun to think about, let alone write about. But this is my journey. This is the story that's unfolding in it's purest form. A Daily Diary. These words kept popping into my mind last night while I sat staring blankly at the computer screen wondering what in the world I would say now. I even thought about posting one line: The Daily Diary of A Winning Loser will return on Saturday August 1st. But that's not a daily diary, now is it? Why do I keep thinking of The Facts of Life theme song? You take the good, you take the bad, you take them both and there you have, the facts of life, the facts of life!

The fact is, there are many more wonderful milestones and events ahead for us. I'll be hitting the two hundred pounds lost marker hopefully on Wednesday August 5th...then two weeks later dropping below 300 for the first time since I was 15 years old. It's hard to believe really. Courtney's approaching the 80 pounds lost mark and Amber has lost nearly 70. Irene is down over 130 pounds from her heaviest. So major victories are behind us and in front of us, all around us! And the future, oh wow, the dreams I dream are so possible now. Dreams I never even realized I had until this journey of weight loss and self discovery. Let the good times roll.

Courtney insisted on treating Amber and me to dinner out. Our fridge is still not working even after several attempts from the repair person to fix the thing, so it didn't take much convincing. We visited our old favorite JW Cobbs. I've written about this place before. It's down home country cookin' at it's finest. It can be disastrous to your calorie budget if you allow it to be. It can also be a wonderfully responsible dining experience and a great place to enjoy the company of family and friends. We've enjoyed this place several times in the past 319 days, and every time we've gone in with a game plan—and never once have we left feeling defeated. We also love to go there because the waitress always acts shocked at our changing appearances. Tonight it was: “You don't even look like the same people, I only knew it was you because of her (Courtney's) eyes.” I think she may have been exaggerating a little, it hasn't been that long since she laid eyes on us, but I'll tell you---We never get tired of that kind of response!

After dinner we retreated to the house and prepared for our workout. Then it was off to the YMCA for a wonderful workout. Courtney hopped on the elliptical, while Amber and I picked a treadmill. I thought about getting into the racquetball court too, but didn't. I need to schedule some more matches. It's always a better workout in the court when I'm competing against a real person. I haven't officially won a match yet, but that day is coming, it's coming real soon.

Again, thank you for reading this daily account from 505 pounds to 230 or whatever feels right! We're in the home stretch! Well, almost, we're approaching the home stretch! That's more like it! Goodnight and...

Good Choices,
Sean

22 comments:

  1. I'm so glad you took a "comfor walk". I already knew that food wouldn't be the answer for you. You've made that change, you've rounded that bend, and there's just no turning back for the New Sean. Still sending up prayers that the issues resolve themselves very soon. Big Hugs. :)

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  2. I love walks on my own too they always make me feel better. Way to go on exercising instead of eating. Glad you got to go out with the girls too. I love reading about you exercising with them.

    I know about the whole trail distance thing. I use to think my favorite road was 3 miles when it's really only 2.4 miles (sounds like the same distance difference as yours) but like you said we still made lots of progress walking our trails so that's what matters.

    Hope things get better with your wife. During my journey in the past 2 years my hubby and I have went through a lot of changes. My husband once said to me that he didn't sign up for this but he's learning to adjust and I think it's made our marriage stronger for it. Changing so much is tough for everyone involved. I hope you can both keep the doors of communication open that's the most important thing.

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  3. I feel ya on this one, even if not for the same reasons... Obviously you have read of some of the husband struggles I have gone through... it is not easy, but like you said (and encouraged me) it is not worth the binge! We have not only been struggling emotionally, but financially as well... I think you are doing wonderfully with this, and I hope things resolve themselves soon.

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  4. I have had a horrible marriage the whole 28 years. I don't wish it for anyone. I hope things work out for you. BIG HUG FROM ZAA!!!!!!!!!

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  5. Sending Big Hugs to the whole family. I hope your problems can be resolved. You are doning great Sean, keep it rolling

    love

    Sheilagh

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  6. I love the idea of a comfort walk! I have noticed if I feel down or stressed that my favourite walk always lifts my spirits, now I too shall think of it as my "comfort walk" (I may even refer to it as such from here on in, lol).

    Ha, don't fret about the nearly 5K - the important thing is it got you fit by pushing you to achieve it and more. It is only a number and we know no deception was intended.

    You and your family are strong and have achieved so much together - change is difficult, but worth working through.

    Yes, there will be great things ahead - keep on doing the best that you can!

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  7. (((((sending good thoughts to sean))))) You've got that steel wall up........and doing great! It would have been easy to turn to ice cream. You are handling things well. I will be praying about the situation.

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  8. "dropping below 300 for the first time since I was 15 years old"....in my 100 degree F house, this just gave me chills. wow. i wont even try to explain myself because my words cant do it justice. great job out to eat, and frankly, im sure the waitress was telling the truth.

    the 5Ks i blog about really arent 5Ks. i think they are a few tenths of a miles off. but then i remember that i ate sour patch kids and tostitos for a year and only walked to the mailbox.

    for me, running and walking outside are definitely for weigh loss/health reasons, but they are so therapeutic for me. im one of those weirdos that doesnt use an ipod or headphones. i really tend to get my best thinking done then. sometimes thats the only reason i go out.

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  9. I am so glad you went for a walk instead of eating to get your comfort.....such a inspiration...
    I do hope things get easier...Marraige is such a testing relationship at times but I believe we have to remember that it is the commitment that gets us thru....thinking and praying for you guys



    www.kathiejourney.com

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  10. You know we are praying for you. Maybe you need a NZ vacation. Come on over. Lord knows we could use a Sean infusion. We have a spare room. I bet Bubba and Cupcake would even let you take them for a hike on the trails. You can get here and back on $1500. DH says--he is praying without ceasing. Blessings--Bonnie and Andy

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  11. A Comfort Walk. I love that Sean. I've done the same thing but never thought of it that way mostly because I'm usually steaming MAD at my dh so it's more of a power walk/slow jog maybe lol! I'd like to do that each time I'm upset (no matter why or with whom) but I still fight grabbing the Ben & Jerry's. So, the fact that you didn't actually do a 5K or 10K or whatever doesn't change at all your results! Keep up the good work on all fronts.

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  12. I do a lot of thinking while i'm walking. And i've been walking a long time!! Guess i've sorted a lot of stuff out :)

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  13. Sean I truely hope things get better you and Irene. I have faith in your two and you both can overcome whatever is that is troubling your marriage at this time. You did a great thing by going for a walk and not turning to food. I will keep you, Irene and the girls in my prayers as I am sure whatever is going on is effecting all of you. Keep up the good work!

    Toby

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  14. Your attitude makes your blog such a pleasure to read. Even keeled, respectable, responsible, tenacious - just great stuff. Hope things get better, and congratulations on still not letting it bring you down to engage in old bad habits.

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  15. Thank you for your honesty here, Sean. And thank you for keeping the confidentiality of the situation, too. I know I only know you on the "surface," but feel you have such a tender heart. So I know you are in pain. Your family is in my prayers, as I know this affects you all. Whenever my hubby of 34 years and I get into a tiff, I keep telling myself "for better or worse. This may be the worst! But we can handle it. We are in for the long haul. With God's help!"

    Guess I should have mentioned something to you a while back when you wrote me about the distance at Hutchins! I had seen an old sign near the tennis course that said the .83 number. But I figured you knew better! Oh, well. Perhaps if you had known the real distance at the beginning, it would have been too daunting a task!

    So proud of our Ponca City Motivator!
    Blessings,
    Sara

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  16. Sean,
    So many things about this post touched me that I'm not even sure where to begin. I want to congratulate you on taking a comfort walk rather than turning to food for comfort. Also for keeping your eye on the goal, we're all going to be so excited for you when you reach that milestone of under 300 for the first time since you were 15!
    And as for marital stuff, without divulging too much information on my end out of respect for my family, let's just say that there is a reason we are suddnely focusing on "date night". This marriage business is a lot of work sometimes. I wish you and your family the best of luck.
    Thanks for keeping it real, and honest, and true.

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  17. I want to chime in on a minor point (at least at this juncture in your journey; it'll be more important down the road).

    It's smart to keep that goal number floating. On my last weight loss, I got down to under 215, but I never felt good at that weight (even tho the charts say that's still "overweight"). I felt weak and listless. For me, 225 seemed to be my "feel-good" weight, and it's kind of where I'm aiming right now. Don't get too caught up in any certain number. There will be a number that you'll recognize as the "right" one for you.

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  18. wow. you guys are all doing so well!

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  19. Courtney AndersonJuly 31, 2009 at 7:05 PM

    I can't tell you how proud I am of you for getting up this morning and going out for a walk. That just shows how rock solid your will power is! your doing so great, I couldn't be more excited for anything! the future where we're completely satisfied with ourself and then we use all the things we learned along this journey to live a healthy and long life :) I don't think I tell you I appreciate you a lot, but I do! you're the best dad. I know your going through a hard time, we all are..but things will get better. And I know nothings going to get in the way of us losing weight. I love you with all my heart!. your daughter-nay

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  20. I'm really proud of you for all you've done and are doing! I think it's awesome you took an early morning walk.....hang in there....don't let anything get in your way. I'm not going to ask what your marital issues are about, because we're family, you know I love you, all of you, and I'm here if any of you need me. Your pretty blue-eyed baby girl is right...your will power IS rock solid and I have faith you won't let anything break it down. I also like that she said you will use all the things learned along this journey to live a healthy and long life! Smart girl!!! I'm proud of all four of you and love you all very much! Kudo's to you all!

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  21. I suspected the issue was what it was. I try not to blog about that stuff, but I have let it slip a time or two when I have issues. It is a part of the journey. I think you've done a fine job of drawing the line of letting be know the problem with due respect to family.

    The walking to clear one's head: Wonderful. Fanastic! There's just something special about thinking when walking. I hope issues were resolved.

    Don't worry about all the 5K and 10K stuff. Now you know, so start from here. No need to go back.

    Have a fantastic weekend!

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  22. Comfort walk?!?! LOVE it!!!!
    I also love that OLD Shirley and Lee song "C'mon baby let the good times roll" ;)
    Keep rocking Mr. Awesome!

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