The Hardest Blog Post To Write
This weight loss journey has had so many ups and downs emotionally. I always said that I wasn’t sure I could ever really do this unless the stars aligned and provided a stress free-trouble free life for the duration. In understanding what I needed to do to become successful once and for all, I finally realized that I had to rise above whatever obstacles or emotions threatened. I had to learn how to NOT use food for emotional comfort. I had to understand the “importance level” of this journey was just too high to be jeopardized by the rollercoaster of emotions that is often times our life.
Separating emotions and troublesome circumstances from my eating habits isn’t easy, but it had to be done in order for me to succeed. It’s certainly taken a lot of concentration and self-talk to keep me from turning to food, but so far I’ve been strong. I think about all we’ve been through in the last 420 days—and I’m proud of how we’ve handled everything without completely crashing.
Now we face some of the toughest times emotionally. And here’s why: Irene and I will divorce soon. This isn’t something that I wanted to happen ever. Irene has made a couple of really bad choices in the last six months that has brought this situation to a head. This isn’t because of the weight loss we’ve experienced, it goes much deeper. We have both caused each other great pain and sacrifice over the last 22 years, and we’re realizing now that the damage is just too deep. In order for our family to grow and move forward, we must divorce and move on. Irene and I still love each other deeply, and some would say that’s all we need to keep it together. But the trust is completely gone. And without trust, it can’t work.
Irene is an amazing mother and she’s been an incredible wife. We’re all going to work through this situation with class and civility. Our daughters are 100% supportive of this decision and have actually encouraged us, as painful as it is, to do this for the betterment of us all. These two girls of ours are the most incredibly mature and smart young ladies. They want us all to be happy.
I felt that I had to share this news with you because this blog has been such a personal family journey. Together we’ve lost nearly 500 pounds as a family, and that’s incredible. And if you’ve read every single day, then I don’t think it would be right to withhold this information. But one thing I cannot stress enough: This isn’t about the weight loss and this isn’t something I ever wanted to happen. I will not go into detail about the circumstances that brought us to this point, that wouldn’t be appropriate.
I will not make excuses for Irene. But I will say that we both have a better understanding of our relationship and how it’s evolved from a fifteen-year old high school romance to a twenty-year marriage. Over the years, our youthful maturity and lack of any kind of independent growth have caused us to emotionally and mentally hurt each other horribly and perhaps those old scars have contributed to bad choices that have been made by her in the last six months. We really thought we could work it all out, but the damage is too deep.
We will always love and care for each other in a very special way. We will have plenty of special occasions together in our future—graduations, marriages, grandkids, holidays, and more. We’re both broken hearted over this entire situation. I can’t believe this has happened. But we will survive, we will move on, we will be successful independent of each other, and who knows what the future will hold. Maybe after we both move on, we can find a place of maturity and understanding that could enable us to grow old together after all---just like we always talked about.
What a horrible blog posting to write. But I felt it necessary. And please understand that I only explained as much as I did because it’s very important to us that you the reader understand: This isn’t about two people losing a bunch of weight and then dumping each other. If you think that, you’re completely wrong. Those family and friends that know us personally, they fully understand that this isn’t about the weight, good or bad.
I will still include occasional updates on Irene in these writings and soon she will update her blog. I will not make this blog all about our separation and divorce. This is a weight loss blog and it will continue to be a weight loss blog. We all have more work to do. Our stories do not end here. We’ll get to our happy endings fully supporting each other and understanding the ups and downs along the way.
Thank you for reading. Goodnight and…