Thursday, November 19, 2009

Day 430 When The Boss Cooks, We Eat and I Was Wrong

Day 430

When The Boss Cooks, We Eat and I Was Wrong

This morning presented one of those food situations where it’s best to eat a small portion of something really loaded. You see, the owner of Team Radio secretly desires to be a gourmet chef. I say this because he occasionally cooks for us, like once or twice a year, and when he does, we all eat together---and it’s really good. And I’m not just saying that because he’s the man who signs my paycheck, the guy really knows how to cook. We had a company meeting scheduled for 10am, complete with his homemade creation dripping with fat and calories. Oh, it was good, real good. The boss made a giant homemade sausage roll. He brought it in on a big baking sheet with a big knife and encouraged us all to enjoy. Well, I had planned on a banana mid-morning---and I still did that, but I also had a sliver of this premium breakfast sausage-cheese-and homemade bread creation. It was incredibly delicious. I probably over estimated my sliver at 150 calories, it was pretty small, but still---I’d rather over estimate than under, right? I guess I could have said “No thank you, I have my banana, I’ll pass,” but it was the boss…oh the pressure! I’m kidding really—I understand that I can eat a sliver of something like this and remain in control. I don’t feel like I cheated one tiny bit, because I didn’t. That’s the beauty of calorie counting. It’s being able to adjust regardless of the situation or who fixed the tasty treat…it’s just living and eating like a normal person. The old Sean would have filled an entire plate and then loaded up again for seconds. The new Sean enjoyed the dish, had a great meeting, and felt good about how he handled this unexpected invasion of fat and calories. I won.

I can’t believe we’re a week away from Thanksgiving. My plan will be the same as last year. I’ll add 1,000 calories on Thanksgiving day. It worked perfectly last year. It kept me in control and I was able to enjoy all of the taste and treats of the holiday. Here’s an excerpt from Day 70: I'm really looking forward to Thanksgiving this year. When Thanksgiving would approach on past weight loss attempts I feared it. But my plan is solid. I'll have 1,000 extra calories that day, I'll walk a 5k in the afternoon, then at least another mile later that evening. So bring on the pie! I believe you have to have a plan going into the holidays because it's way too easy to throw your rhythm into a tailspin. Everybody has the cookies and fudge and pies and cakes and wow, it can be a real tight rope, but if you have a plan and stick to it, you'll get through it without falling. I can't wait to write the Thanksgiving Day blog Thursday night. I'll tell you all about it!

The plan is solid and simple. I’ll have the same plan this year and no worries! Thanksgiving and Christmas are the only two occasions where I feel adding calories is justified on this journey. These two holidays are so centered around food and special treats, so much so that it’s just expected that we overeat. Have you ever noticed that commercials for antacid products increase around the holidays? Overeating on Thanksgiving especially is just accepted as normal in American culture—So I’ll play along again, but on my own "losing weight everyday" terms!

I met Chris Williams for a 5K tonight at the trail. We just missed each other last night, so tonight we coordinated our schedules and pounded out 3.1 miles. We’re making plans to participate in the Oklahoma City Memorial Marathon Relay in April of next year. You get five people on a team and each does a leg ranging from 12K to 5K. My goal is to be able to run, really run an entire 5K leg without stopping. Can I do it by April? Of course! OK, I better check out the Couch To 5K plan. I haven’t been lounging on the couch, so I’m already ahead of the game. I need to be a 5K runner (without stopping) by April---I don’t want to let down the team! A “marathon relay runner” sounds so cool. Chris and I have already talked about doing a marathon someday---the whole thing, both of us. He wants to do it by 40, he’s 36. It doesn’t matter to me when we do it, because it will happen, it will be done someday along this road.

I received a comment today from a reader in Canada named Laurie. It turns out that Laurie was the “anonymous” commenter I talked about in last night’s blog. Thank you Laurie for clarifying your position. After reading yours and several other wonderful comments on the topic---I fully realized that I owe Irene a sincere apology. Laurie wrote: Sean, I am sorry if I caused you distress yesterday. It is very hard to be criticized publicly and even worse when it is done anonymously. I have never posted on ANYONES blog before and don't really know what all the profile options mean so anyone who thinks they know who I am, I can assure them they do not. Marriages are complex and many run their course and considering how difficult a breakup can be, you did surprisingly well in saying as little as you did. My point only was to ask you to consider things from Irene's point of view. You got to the public first (and you have a huge following) and basically told us the marriage ending was her fault. That must have really stung her and she has every reason to be upset. I can tell that you still love each other, and everyone makes mistakes, just sometimes it is time to branch out solo. I don't know you or Irene and I can assure you no one knows who I am (I'm from Canada).

My cousin Debbie offered: Since this blog is all about honesty, I'll be honest too...I think you could have put the word about the divorce on the table, without placing blame. I don't think that was fair to Irene. No failed marriage is all the fault of one person and that's what it sounded like to me. You made Irene a part of our family many years ago. I have come to love her like my own and that will never change the same as my love for you will never change. You absolutely do need to keep this blog honest for your own success on this journey, but in this particular instance, I think you could have told us all the same thing without stating the cause as Irene's bad choices. We don't need to know the personal details, and you don't share the personal details with us...that is class. But you don't have to tell us anything other than 'for personal and private reasons, we are divorcing'...that would have been enough.

Cousin Debbie, Laurie from Canada, and many others in comments and e-mails---Thank you. And you’re absolutely right. I was so worried that someone might get the wrong idea about me, thinking that we were divorcing because of all the weight loss and the new self-image and confidence, that I completely disregarded the feelings of someone I’ve loved and will always love. I never wanted this to happen, but I should have never thrown her under the bus like that---regardless of how this came about. What should have been said was: I love her and she loves me, however, it is with much sadness that I report we are divorcing for personal and private reasons. I’m truly regretful that I didn’t handle it this way. I’ll be talking with Irene privately concerning my error in judgment and the apology she rightly deserves. I’m man enough to admit when I’m wrong. It might take me a while and I might have to listen to the advice and opinions of several people to finally see the reasoning---but when it all becomes clear and I feel like a real inconsiderate jerk (and rightly so)…I do admit it. I was wrong.

I think I can honestly say this topic is closed now. Oh sure, it might pop up occasionally, after all—it is a part of our lives right now, and we do plan on spending the holidays together. But I will not mention this topic solely for the purpose of discussion in any form or fashion. I’m really touched by all of the support I’ve received from readers, family, and friends. Thank you again.

I better get in bed. It’s late and my first official KPNC morning show starts at 6am CST! I’m excited about the show. I talked with John Conlee’s people today and they assured me that he’d be calling in for an interview sometime Thursday or Friday morning. I’m thrilled! I can’t wait for the concert Friday night. Thursday night I’ll be in Stillwater for the OSU-Colorado game…my game day activity will start at 3:30 tomorrow. I’m going to try to get in a workout before then, or else it might mean running the stadium stairs during the game. We’ll see how that all sorts out. Goodnight and…

Good Choices,
Sean

15 comments:

  1. your a big man sean. That's all i'm sayin'.

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  2. and by big I mean, grown up and mature....hmmmm....not the best compliment for a weight loss blog, I blame my craptastic day. Chris out.

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  3. Good for you! I thought it was worded wrong as well. Sounds like you have good friends that are willing to call you on your sh*t.

    You're a lucky man!

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  4. What a lovely public apology to Irene. It's always good to see when people really can maintain a good relationship after a divorce.

    Good luck with the show!

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  5. They beat me to it :) But i was going to say it takes a big man to admit that he made a mistake. Hope you have a great day.

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  6. That Sean was truly impressive and kudos to your cousin as well for having the courage to tell you what she thought. It is maturity like this that the world needs more of.....

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  7. You have so much class, Sean! A man who can not only acknowledge, but publicly admit that he was wrong about something and apologize for it, is...A REAL MAN...that's you, my cousin/friend! I've never been more proud of you than I am right now.

    And Irene is a class act too. I know your deep mutual love and respect will keep you forever friends. Okay...like you said, this chapter is closed...on to the next!

    Also...thanks to Laurie for her kudos to me. She has noooo idea, but as you know Sean, I've got enough of my mom in me that I've never had a problem telling anyone what I thought! LOL Goodness, how I miss her. It's going to be hard to make her yummy Thanksgiving dressing this year!

    Have fun at the game and the concert!

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  8. Wow, Sean. I really have a different opinion of this. I really didn't feel you had "thrown Irene under the bus." I know that there ARE situations where people make bad choices and as a result, a divorce occurs, therefore making it in a sense, their fault. So please don't beat yourself up too badly. We don't know, and don't need to know, the whys of any of this. But you are a gentleman, and took the high road. And perhaps a "bullet" that you didn't really deserve. But agreed, onward to more "public" subjects. btw, way to go on the gold medal and plans for future marathons! You continue to inspire me!

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  9. Since you want the matter closed, I won't go into a huge comment, other than to say, I agree with Sara. ; )

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  10. I just wish two delightful people the best of everything for the future.

    Hugs

    Sheilagh

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  11. Sean,
    I know this is a emotional time for you and Irene and often we say things that we really dont mean. Thanks for being honest in your blog and I will pray that there will be happiness for you and Irene together or seperate.

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  12. I am just catching up with your news. First of all, well done on the 10K - yay!

    But, I am sorry to read about you and Irene, although somehow I had an inkling something was afoot.

    It is very hard to end a long marriage like yours, but sometimes it is really for the best. I am quite confident that as a family, you will all come out of this much stronger.

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  13. Another great blog Sean. I admire you for doing what you thought was right and as long as you are comfortable with what you have said that is all that matters.

    I am sure you enjoyed the game last night as did many other O-State fans. I was pleased to hear that they won. I didn't get a chance to watch the second half of the game but I heard it was the best half.

    Enjoy the concert tonight. My sister work at the casino that is hosting it and she got my parents tickets so they are stocked to get to listen to "Rose Colored Glasses" live. Enjoy your evening and have a great weekend!

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