Why So Personal? and The Suggestive Seller
Staying focused and strong in the face of any emotion, circumstance, or stressful trigger is something that is vital to my success. I simply refuse to allow my changing life to change my mind and my habits back to where they were. I know too much to ever go back. What does that mean? It means that I have a complete understanding of the patterns and behaviors that always kept me morbidly obese. I don’t understand how it all works and why, but I know enough to recognize when these triggers are trying to influence my decisions with food. It cannot, it will not steal this away from me. It’s too important. I’m completely honest with myself now; I can spot an excuse or a rationalization a mile away. Does this mean I don’t make any? No---But I call it like it is, I recognize them immediately. And if any of those sneaky excuses or “make myself feel better” rationalizations try to sneak into my day and negatively influence my decisions with food and exercise, I must squish it like a bug. This is too important.
I really wish I had never mentioned anything about our pending divorce. The anonymous comment on yesterday’s blog just grates at me. I can’t be specific about the events and happenings over the last twenty-two years that have led to where we are now. I refuse to say anything more about it. If you have a problem with how I’ve handled the situation, then you obviously do not fully understand the situation. Nor should you. I haven’t handled it as best I could have---but I sincerely tried to be respectful and appropriate, considering how personal this blog has been from Day 1. How could I not say anything about it? I had to explain why we were eventually living separately. This has been a family transformation from the beginning, and now we’re really transforming in a not so ideal way. I couldn’t just conveniently forget to mention that.
The reason this blog has always been very personal is simply explained. In order to really get to the bottom of the psychological and emotional issues that have kept us a morbidly obese family, I had to put it all out there and sort it out. What if it were simply an “eat less and exercise more” type blog? It would be a temporary success, that’s what. Make no mistake about it---this blog is the real deal. This battle with morbid obesity can be a real monster. Not focusing on every aspect, especially the vitally important personal and emotional aspects would have been pointless---Like fighting a dragon with a toothpick, this monster doesn’t die easily---you have to bring in the big guns and fight from every angle, especially the mental angle.
Courtney had to work tonight, so I was solo at the trail for a nice 5K walk. It was a cold one, but at least it wasn’t raining tonight. I put on the iPod and selected shuffle, encouraging my iPod to surprise me. I have no idea why I haven’t discovered the shuffle feature before. I’ve always just built playlist---but shuffle makes sense. If it’s in my iPod, I obviously like it---so why not just give me a random favorite over and over? It was nice. I miss getting lost in my music while working out, I haven’t done that much lately. I needed to tonight, and it was good.
I called Courtney and asked about her dinner plans. She already had dinner. She just grabbed a couple of tacos on the way to work. Irene was out with her sisters, so it was me solo. I could have just prepared something at the house, but I hate cooking for one, ya know? So I dined alone at KFC. With the new grilled chicken, it’s become one of my favorite choices for eating out. An entire meal at or under 500 calories is so easy at that place these days. You can also have a 2500 calorie meal at KFC, it’s up to you and your choices. I ordered a grilled breast for 170 calories, a grilled drumstick for 70, an individual mashed potato—no gravy for 110 (I could have had the gravy for an extra 30 calories, but decided against) and an order of kernel corn for 100. No biscuit—no butter---no honey. I ordered water to drink. My meal checked in at 450 calories. No problem! And it was so good. I can’t stand eating alone at a restaurant--I know that. I rarely ever do, it’s awkward, what---no conversation? Wow, the focus is only on the food when we’re alone, wow---I should have brought something to read or messed with my phone. Hmmm. I did ask Courtney and Irene about their dinner plans before going out, they both had plans…so it was what it was…OK.
The funniest thing about my KFC visit (yes something was funny about it) was how the guy taking my order was so determined to get me to upgrade. “For two bucks more we’ll give you an extra side, a 32 ounce soda, and some brownie bites.” I said “No thank you.” To which he replied, “These brownie bites are incredible, have you tried them?” Me: “Uh, no, no I haven’t—They look good, but I’ll pass, thank you.” Then I just about blew his mind when I requested “hold the biscuit.” He looked at me like I was the devil. “No biscuit? With butter and honey, man these things are incredible!” I said: “I know they’re good, I’ve had them many times, but not tonight.” And then he must have been required to ask: “you probably don’t want two fried apple pies for a dollar?” I’m pretty sure they don’t want you to word it that way when you’re suggestive selling. It was funny, and it totally made me smile. This guy had no idea the transformation I’m going through---Oh boy, if only he would have known me before---I would have bought everything he suggested.
This morning I was publicly offered the KPNC morning show. KPNC is the Team Radio flagship station, so I’m thrilled. KPNC is so rich in history, I can’t wait to dive in. It’s a country music format, and I like all kinds---so it will be a wonderful experience. I’ll sit in on the morning show tomorrow, then Thursday it'll be all me. I’m excited! I’m celebrating my new show Friday night by attending the John Conlee concert just ten minutes down the highway. “Rose Colored Glasses” is one of my favorite songs. Should we go to the lyrics? Uh, better not---once Axle Rose gets done suing me for yesterday’s post, there might not be anything left for Mr. Conlee. John Conlee was once a country music radio personality too, very true! We hope to get a meet and greet!
Thank you so much for reading and following along. I re-read Day 327 today. Oh my---it hits me so hard every time. If you haven’t read day 327, please do, I’m so proud of it’s message. Every day is archived along the left hand side of this page. Again, thank you for reading. Good night and…