Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Day 422 Leaning On Motivating Thoughts and The Mock Meltdown

Day 422

Leaning On Motivating Thoughts and The Mock Meltdown

When the struggle intensifies and the “steel curtain” zone must be at it’s strongest, this is when I get really simplistic. Keeping this weight loss journey as simple as possible has been my mantra from Day 1. I simply enjoy fifteen hundred calories in and do some kind of exercise out. That’s it. I don’t care how I get those calories as long as I don’t go over and if I’m moving and sweating---then it’s a workout. I’ve battled stray thoughts of going nuts and eating large amounts of whatever, but I haven’t and I will not. Of course they always happen more frequently in times of stress and uncertainty. From Day 1 I’ve had to cling to my motivating thoughts many times, some days tighter than others, always remembering why this journey is so important to me. I don’t turn to food for comfort. I turn to my motivating thoughts, my hopes and dreams for the future; these are the things that keep me positive and moving in the right direction.

I guess I have gone nuts on certain things that fall within my calorie budget. I spent 330 calories on ice cream sandwiches today. It’s always the ice cream with me huh? I did do it, not all at once…just one at a time at 110 calories a pop. Three of them by the time the day ended. Hmmm. Maybe that’s my new version of “going nuts.” These were the low-fat vanilla flavored ice cream sandwiches. They’re wonderful to have around for a nice little treat, and they do last much longer than a box ever did before in our house, but even within my calorie budget---I still felt like I over did it, ya know? I didn’t really, so we’ll call it a “mock meltdown.” You can have one too! Just find something that is a wonderful calorie value and knock yourself out! I may have to buy one of those sugar-free angel food cakes from Wal-Mart, the entire cake is under 400 calories---I mean the entire cake! I’ll just eat half a cake at a time. I need to have one ready at all times. Then if I feel like having a mock meltdown---I’ll just eat a half a cake. Cake makes everything better, right? Especially when the entire cake is less than 400 calories. Fresh strawberries anyone?

I had a huge craving today for deep fried cheese. It’s strange really, because cheese sticks have never really been a weakness of mine. I like them, I mean what’s not to love? Deep fried cheese rocks, but I can take ‘em or leave ‘em---today I just had to have some. Five of them from Sonic Drive-in checks in at 436 calories. Uh---NO. Will not, could not---87 calories each? Well, now wait a second...87 each? OK---when you put it like that, maybe one or two. Before I could get to a Sonic for that order, the craving went away---it helped that I was sitting at 860 calories for the day and anymore before dinner would mean less dinner. This whole “good choices” thing works its self out with just a tad of common sense and a little patience. Unless we’re talking about three ice cream sandwiches in one day, yeah…sometimes a "mock meltdown" just happens.

Scott Hayes sent me a text invitation this afternoon for a pre-weigh day racquetball match at the YMCA tonight. It was just the workout I needed! We spent nearly 50 minutes in that court hitting the ball around. I can’t be for sure, but I think Scott took it easy on me. Scott plays almost every day, he’s good. We decided to not keep score. (great idea!) We were in there to move and get a good workout, not keep track of points. We followed the basic rules of the game and it was fantastic. I’ve written about Scott’s weight loss success before and Day 331 titled “Scott’s Story” was the day that Scott shared his story with readers of this blog. He’s lost 140 pounds, looks great, and can flat out move. If you went back in time, not that far back, say late summer of 2008---and you put Scott and me in a racquetball court with him weighing just shy of 400 and me at over 500---I think we both would have died in the attempt. Not tonight my friend, not anymore. It’s all good!

Tomorrow is weigh day. I can’t wait to see what the scale says. I’ll be sending out the usual mass-text, e-mail, Twitter, and facebook posting of the numbers.

Thank you for reading. Goodnight and…

Good Choices,

Pic snapped right after our racquetball match. Look, no double chins! Wow, I’m really red faced. Between the two of us, we’ve lost 363 pounds in a little over a year!


  1. Okay, I'm gonna lay some tough love on ya, Sean, and hope that it's received in the spirit that it's intended: it's not just about quantity; I believe quality plays a huge role in this lifestyle switcheroo as well. Allotting so many calories and not considering what makes up those calories doesn't make for a healthy outlook, the way I see it. I realize that this is an evolutionary process for you (hell, for all of us), but I think you need to come to grips with the idea that a fried cheese stick isn't bad because it's 87 calories each; it's bad because it's just not good. There's nothing in there a shrinking boy needs.

    I encourage you to read Michael Pollan's In Defense of Food, because it really opened my eyes to the poor quality in most people's diets and how it's really working against the betterment of our health and our bodies.

    You're still doing great, my friend, but as I'm sure you're well aware, there's always room for improvement.

    Take care.

  2. Bud, good job on the racketball. I agree with jack that the type of food is important cause you can still have a heart attack even if you are skinny...but knowing what your going through right now, the fact that you didn't take the fried cheese, dip it in batter, roll it in sugar and dip it in butter and eat it is pretty much a miracle. Just hold on over the next six months to a year and it will all be cake. lol.

  3. I wholeheartedly agree with Jack here. Calorie counting and being in that kind of control is great, but your body needs the nutrients it can get with better choices.

    Planning on mini meltdowns...hmmm...not so sure about the preparedness factor. After all, it would make it so much more convenient to have it right there when a twinge comes along, instead of waiting for a full blown attack that would make you go to Wal Mart and pick a cake up, right?

    No offense intended, my friend...I want to see you succeed, and be HEALTHY at the end of the road so you can celebrate in style!

  4. Since this is my first comment, I'll try not to rock the boat too much but as far as I see it, if I can't have one or two mozz sticks from Sonic, I don't care how much or how little I weigh, I might as well be dead. Fried food is bad for you, yes. But living the rest of your life on carrot sticks and tofu is bad for you too. I think having things you shouldn't have as a "cheat" from time to time is a good thing if you're managing to stay inside of your calorie range and you're able to stop at one or two. I'm not going to NEVER have another Snickers Bar or Peanutbuster Parfait. But I'm not going to eat my daily calories and then have something unhealthy on top of it. If I've gone a month without any splurges (nutritionally speaking, and calorically speaking) then I'm not going to feel guilty about having something that's only good for my tastebuds. If it means I'm not going to have lunch and miss out on two snacks that day, then so be it. I'm not going to die of malnourishment from one day of pampering my tongue instead of my ticker. It's about moderating, not neglecting. But that is, of course, my humble opinion.

  5. OK, I'm with Jack, Chris and Pam on this one.

    You have said that your choices are in general getting healthier and healthier. You're in a tough emotional spot right now and instead of pigging out calorie-wise, you're staying within your calorie range, but laying it on a bit thick when it comes to junk food.

    You're not going to ruin your health forever if this is a temporary blip, but yes, you should read Michael Pollan. The "standard American diet" is a pretty scary thing.

    Be well. You know how much we all love you!

  6. We know you're under tremendous stress right now so if you're staying in your 1500 calorie budget that's pretty amazing. (I speak from the experience of having completely blown it for the last few weeks under great amounts of stress.) BUT, and it's a big BUT, you do want to be healthy, not just thinner. So, I do believe you need to find better choices in general and leave the less better choices as an occasional thing. Still, I can't wait to hear about your weigh in tomorrow.

  7. Wow Sean... you are soo surrounded by people that really care about you!! It is so hard to offer "tough love", not knowing how it will be received. It made me tear up to read these comments... these people care so much about you, genuinely. And even know i have never met you in person, I am pretty sure you will accept their ideas as offered in love, cuz that's the kind of teachable spirit you seem to be.

    Considering all you are going through, you are doing amazing. We just want you to be here for the LONG term healthy, not just the short term skinny.

    Still praying for you and your family,

  8. Hi Sean. I'm not going to be down on you nutritionwise because I know where you're coming from on this. I know this is a very difficult time and I really feel for you. I just want you to be careful and take care of yourself.

    Best wishes,
    Bearfriend xx

  9. Hey Sean,
    We love ya and the truths that you've shared with us. We're proud of you.

  10. Okay goes! I am the last person to tell you what or how to win this losing're the good choices doubt about that, BUT and it's a big but...but,if you don't be will go back to a big BUTT!!! Stress can do things to you without you even expecting it. I realize 'fried' stuff is not on your typical menu...and I know you're in control...I'm just asking you to be careful and watch it! Hope I didn't step on your toes...I just care and love ya and don't want you to lose your've come a long way on this journey!

  11. I think your cousin says it best--just be careful not give into emotional eating. I love that you can eat a little bit of something and move on--most of us mere mortals can't do that. You've been here before and you don't want to have to do this again. Have a half of angel food cake, if you want it and if you count it--but not because you NEED it. Get me? Blessings!! Bonnie

  12. Amazing what you consider a meltdown now compared to a day in your diet when you were 500 pounds, huh?

    You and Scott both look amazing. Hot and hotter (you guys can argue over which is which ;)


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