Saturday, November 14, 2009

Day 425 Metabolism Neglect and #278--Going For The Gold

Day 425

Metabolism Neglect and #278--Going For The Gold

Today started out hurried and never slowed until after 8pm. I was running behind all day, trying to keep up the pace, looking for the finish line where I could go to bed early and rest for Saturday’s 10K. There’s no in between with Fridays around here, it’s either leisurely or frantic. My frantic Friday started with a good morning show and a meeting with the manager of a nice apartment community in this area. This apartment has a gym with a bowflex! I’m excited—those bowflex machines can do miraculous things, hey---I know, I’ve watched the infomercial for years! Irene has already secured a place and I’m not staying in the house---so I’m finding something else too. Courtney will now have two different bedrooms, as we plan to share custody.

Anyway…back on topic—sometimes I find myself going longer than three hours without food, especially when it gets crazy busy. I know this is bad for my metabolism, but still I occasionally neglect it horribly. I had a nearly six-hour break between food today---not good, not smart---I know better! I had a commitment in a town twenty-five minutes away and they have a Taco Mayo---so I did grab a couple of 163 calorie beef tacos with black olives, lettuce, and loaded with fresh salsa---I decided to take them home because I didn’t want to eat alone and tacos are not good travel foods. It was brutal having to smell those wonderfully scrumptious things all the way home, but I made it---then had to remind myself to relax and slowly enjoy them. I was ready to tear through them quick, but eating slower has always been a part of this process---even if I have to remind myself to do it every now and then.

I picked up my number and t-shirt for Saturday’s 10K today. The t-shirt was a 2X and it looked big! Seriously, Stephanie Williams, the senior program director at the Y, commented that it looked too big and then she asked if I wanted a smaller size. Uh, no, no---I think I better stick with the 2X for now. You know me and too tight anything---we don’t get along. I want to wear the shirt with confidence, not insecurity, even though Irene and the girls tell me that smaller-more fitting stuff looks best. It doesn’t feel best. And sometimes, OK---all the time, I’m not really concerned about looks. I’m only concerned about comfort.

My number isn’t 505 or 227. Turns out, 505 wasn’t available to begin with and someone had already used 227. So my next choice was 278, my current weight. It’s an amazing thing to be getting up early tomorrow to “run” a 10K (I say “run,” because I’m sure it will mostly be power walking for me!) but even more of a 180 degree change to be wearing my weight on my shirt for all to see. Seriously, there was a time when I wouldn’t even tell my mom how much I weighed. She really wanted to know, and in hindsight—I probably made her imagine something worse than reality because of my refusal to say. Irene was the only one to know how bad it had become. And those high mark weigh days were few and far between, and always when I was about to “get busy.” I use to be so secretive about my weight, that I would actually say I weighed over 100 pounds less during my stand-up set. You see, I use to open every show by saying how much I weighed---but I never, I mean NEVER told the truth. Somehow saying 398 was ok, but the truth of 500 or 510, or whatever I really was—was just too much to admit in front of a packed comedy club. I’ve always carried my weight well, so even if someone suspected I was being dishonest, nobody ever called me out on it. “I weigh 398 pounds.” Yeah right. I must have opened 500 performances with that line. I would relate some of the material that followed, but it’s horribly humiliating stuff---I can’t believe I was so cruel to myself for so long. I was my own bully. But hey! I’m 278 now… 2 7 8---I can shout it and be proud! And it’s going down from here my friend!! I’m wearing my weight tomorrow, so cool!

I decided to allow myself a break from working out tonight. I did a 5K last night and I’m doing a 10K tomorrow---OK—I feel better about myself now. I chose resting up for the 10K instead. Wow---I feel even better now! I thought about going out and walking the course---but nah…it’ll be marked. I guess I have an irrational fear of getting lost and ending up in somebody’s back yard. It’s a road course that eventually winds through some residential areas. I’ll share pictures with you for sure! I was in bed by 10pm and couldn’t go to sleep until 10:45pm, I really need to stay off facebook mobile in these situations!

It’s actually Saturday morning now, early---and I’m less than an hour away from starting the 10K. It was a decent Friday and Saturday is loaded with plenty that’ll possibly make it outstanding! I might win the gold! No, seriously---If I’m the only man in my age group and I finish, no matter the time---I get the gold! I’m going for the gold my friend!

I hope you get a chance to listen to our broadcast from the Poncan Theatre Saturday night. I'll be along for the paranormal investigation--and broadcasting continuously from midnight to 2am CST. You can access the broadcast tonight at www.eteamradio.com Just click on KLOR to find the player!

Thank you for reading. Goodnight and…

Good Choices,
Sean

10 comments:

  1. I hope you have an amazing run! Can't wait to hear the recap.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Here's wishing you the best on your 10K!! Go Sean

    ReplyDelete
  3. I somehow missed your post about you and your wife. I heard early on that weight loss either makes or breaks your relationships. Big hugs to you.
    Hope today goes super well for you! You're running for all of us, I think. Good luck!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Going for the gold....LOVE IT!! I wrote a post entitled that a while back....I wish you the best!! :)

    ReplyDelete
  5. Just walking a 10k... you've already won my friend! Could you even imagine that a year and a half ago?

    Recently I played some hard core volleyball... I just can't fathom me sliding across the floor back on April 1st. I could picture me falling on the floor but not diving for a shot. My loss is far far less but I so feel it, and I know there is much more strength now too.

    Mark my words... there will be a point in that walk/jog that you will feel like you could walk right up into the air.

    At Foolsfitness we love running... especially to the store for ice cream! -Alan

    ReplyDelete
  6. Good luck on the 10k...No matter what, you will do great.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Good luck -- can't wait to hear all about it!

    ReplyDelete
  8. Hey sean,
    I just wrote a post about how i used self deprecation to deflect the reality of how fat I'd gotten. It's a way of coping without coping. Alot of fat people do it. You aren't alone. My husband doesn't know how much I weigh NOW. I started at 262, now am 203. I just can't bring myself to tell him...I will when I get there. Right now I prefer the mystery. Good luck on your 10k.

    ReplyDelete

I sincerely appreciate you taking the time to leave a comment. Thank you for your support!






Copyright © 2008-2017 Sean A. Anderson

The Daily Diary of a Winning Loser. All rights reserved.